Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory

[myprivatejack]

   
     La lumière du jour semble s’estomper lentement et la brise du soir frémit dans les cimes des arbres. Les faibles lueurs des restes du jour qui filtrent au travers des lourds nuages, annoncent avec certitude la poursuite de ce temps qui passe. Le frémissement des feuilles du vieux chêne rythme cet instant, où, à chaque seconde, mon âme semble flâner et se dissoudre avec les parfums que la nuit si proche semble déjà libérer sous les assauts du vent.
     Mes cheveux balayent mon visage à la cadence des bourrasques du vent, la fraîcheur de la nuit qui est si proche me fait penser qu’il va bientôt pleuvoir. Au loin le grondement de l’orage naissant ricoche jusqu’à moi, et ça et là j’aperçois la végétation se courber sous les rafales chaudes et humides du vent du soir. Un sentiment de solitude s’empare de moi, et  malgré l’agitation de cette nuit qui tombe, je te vois toujours venir à moi, comme ce premier jour où j’ai su que l’on allait s’aimer. Maintenant, la puissance des grondements du tonnerre fait vibrer tout mon corps, tout mon esprit, et ce tourment de la nature ressemble bien à celui de mon âme. Malgré l’agitation de cette nuit, je me rappelle que quelque part, là haut, derrière les nuages il y a cette étoile qui scintille toujours, cette lumière qui me guide au travers de l’obscurité.
     J’éteins la douce lueur de la lanterne suspendue, et, avec l’agitation encore tumultueuse de ce soir, je vais apaiser mon esprit en glissant jusqu’à toi au travers de mes rêves.
Au gré de l’ivresse des vents et des rafles de pluie, dans cette petite maison au parfum d’antan, je revois toujours ton image avant que la nuit ne ferme trop vite mes paupières.
     Un regard lumineux, un sourire et des évocations sonores se mêlent en une poursuite folle de souvenirs sur lesquels mon esprit pourra enfin s’assoupir pour soulager ma peine.


Daylight seems to be fading slowly and the breeze in the evening shudders in the treetops. The faint light of the remains of the day filtered through the heavy clouds, announce with certainty the continuation of the passing time. The trembling leaves of the old oak pace this moment, where every second, my soul seemed to wander and dissolve with fragrances that night seemed so close already released under the onslaught of wind.
      My hair sweep my face at the rate of gusts of wind, the coolness of the night, which is so close makes me think it will soon rain. In the distance the roar of the storm until nascent rebound to me, and here and there I see the vegetation bending under the hot and humid gusts of wind in the evening. A sense of loneliness seizes me, and despite the turmoil of the night falls, I see you always come to me, as the first day I knew we would love. Now, the power of the rumbles thunder rocked my whole body, but my mind and the torment of this nature looks good to those of my soul. Despite the turmoil last night, I remember that somewhere, up there behind the clouds there is the star that shines always, the light that guides me through the darkness.
      I turn of the light the gentle glow of the lantern suspended, and, with the unrest still tumultuous tonight, I will calm my mind until you rolling through my dreams.
At the discretion of the exhilaration of wind and rain sweeps in this small house in the fragrance of yesteryear, I always remember your image before the night closes too quickly my eyelids.
      A look bright, a smile and evocative sounds mingle in a mad pursuit of memories on which my mind can finally fall asleep to relieve my pain.

Mikele

Thank you,Mikele,for sharing this so beautiful text with all of us.They have strenght and tenderness at the same time...

[myprivatejack]

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

The Mamas and the Papas - Dream a Little Dream of Me

Thanks so much,Marjolaine,for posting this wonderful song¡ It´s sure that all of us will dream on Heath,and not just a little dream... :\'(

[myprivatejack]

Amber eye

Sudden silence
The world stops turning for a moment
Starts again but jerkily
Our screams are so loud that
nobody can hear them:
The amber eye is closed
And looks now upon worlds
we are not part of

Flashes words words flashes
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the open heart
the lithe mind
the sudden laugh
or the shy glances

Mighty waves
crashes in
Sharp cliffs underneath
Must keep afloat
All of us that remain

A pause a stillness
With gentler waves in sunset
where many feet
are soothed
after weeks of endless pacing
Tears and laughter
fuses with water
creating underwater rainbows
of  joy and pain

Flashes words words flashes
Still
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the hole in the ozone
the limber one left behind
Nor to the one less shadow
that is cast on the ground
Or to the mittens
that no longer has hands in them

And in the eye of the hurricane
A square of concrete
Stepped on
By baby’s feet
Stepped on once
And now stepped on forever
With him
And without him

Beautiful,Midsummernina¡Thanks for it and welcome to the forum¡   

[myprivatejack]

Some pictures I took last Autumn in N.Y.C. they make me think of our Sweet Angel... 





Miss ya Cowboy!  :\'(

Yes,Pierre,they make me think of him too...A lot of things make me think of him still,and I hope than forever...  

[Asali]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

[myprivatejack]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Pauline I understand how you feel,because it'd be the same I'd feel if I saw the painting now...I guess it's too soon still as to see anything in rapport with Heath without having a heavy burden inside us.There's no "magical" recipe to overcome it,nor thinking that somebody else has felt well before ourselves;nothing more than let the time passing,knowing that we'll never forget him.
But that there will be a time when we'll remember Heath with the happiness of having known him,the satisfaction of having shared our admiration for his work and the celebration of all what he had let to us with this work.And all this will weigh more than the grief we feel now.This time will arrive,I'm sure.

[mikele]

Vivre à coté de l’autre   
Et partager sa vie
Aimer tout ce qu’il est
Son odeur ses gestes aussi

Avancer cote à cote
Et s’arrêter ici
Au milieu des regrets
Et de tout c’qu’on s’est dit

Le souvenir de l’autre
Est tellement précis
On l’entend on le frôle
On caresse son ombre la nuit

Le temps pousse à la faute
Et on en paie le prix
Avoir le premier rôle
Et puis plus rien aujourd’hui

On est si peu de chose
Quand l’autre s’en va
Quand le manque s’impose
Quand on a plus le choix
On apprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là

On refait son décor
On range les photos
On a peur quand on sort
On se dit que c’est trop tôt

On est mal dans son corps
On ne se trouve pas beau
L’impression d’être mort
Sans l’autre contre sa peau

On est si peu de choses
Quand l’autre s’en va
Quand le manque s’impose
Quand on a plus le choix
On apprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là

On est si peu de choses
Et tellement à la fois
Quand le manque s’impose
On est plus vivant que l’on croit
On comprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là



Living next to the other
And share his life
Love is everything it
His gestures also smell

Advancing side by side
And stop here
In the midst of sorrow
And all expressed what was

The memory of another
Is so accurate
She is also heard on the verges
It cherishes its shadow at night

The weather was pushing for misconduct
And it is paying the price
Having the lead role
And then nothing today

There is so little
When one goes
When the lack needed
When you have no choice
We learn so many things
When one is no longer there
Over there

We re-decor rooms
We put away old photos
We are afraid when we go out
It may be said that it's too early

There is evil in his body
It is not beautiful
The impression to be dead
Without the other against her skin

There is so little
When one goes
When the lack needed
When you have no choice
We learn so many things
When one is no longer there
Over there

There is so little
And so at a time
When the lack needed
There is more alive than we thought
It includes many things
When one is no longer there
Over there

Frédéric Lemer 
 

[FlwrChild]

Thank you Anaconda! And no, trying not to be a stranger! 

Thank you all of you for your kind words about my poem. I wrote it a couple of days ago, early in the morning after a sleepless night. I guess it's an expression of how I've felt these last months, when I and so many others have tried to focus on the person that Heath was - and the world around us never stopped trying to smear him. It's my way of trying to put the spotlight back where it belongs: on the person that's lost, and all the little details that people that lost him will miss so much.

With love! 
//Nina

Beautifully put Nina, as was your poem. These parts got me especially:


A pause a stillness
With gentler waves in sunset
where many feet
are soothed
after weeks of endless pacing
Tears and laughter
fuses with water
creating underwater rainbows
of  joy and pain

~ ~ ~ ~

And in the eye of the hurricane
A square of concrete
Stepped on
By baby’s feet
Stepped on once
And now stepped on forever
With him
And without him

~ ~ ~ ~

We're very happy to have you here with us.

[lancecowboy]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

  Pauline  I think I know how you feel because to me there is a dichotomy of Heath and Ennis. We love the Heath who created Ennis, who is sensitive and strong, independent and free. The portrait is of a Heath who created the Joker, who is troubled by insomnia, who is troubled by the media, by other's reaction. It felt wrong when I first saw it. But now, thanks to the interview given by Vincent, I now understand that it is a portrait of a moment in time, a brief glimpse of a much more complex man. It is like the tip of the iceberg, with 98% out of sight. It just occurred to me as I write this why Heath has all those tattoos. They are doorways into the rest of him, as you said of the tattoo below his breast, of Matilda. The tattoos themselves are meaningless; their values come from the parts of Heath's life that they lead to. They are portals into the deeper dimensions of Heath.

I am hesitant to be in the presence of the painting, too, because I know I will be overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness, of loss, but I no longer fear it as I did when I first saw it after January 22. Thank you for sharing your moment. It really helped me to come to terms with it. 

Love,

Andrew

[keren_b]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Pauline 

[christie wood]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Oh, I can imagine how emotional seeing that painting must have been.....

[keren_b]

Pauline  I think I know how you feel because to me there is a dichotomy of Heath and Ennis. We love the Heath who created Ennis, who is sensitive and strong, independent and free. The portrait is of a Heath who created the Joker, who is troubled by insomnia, who is troubled by the media, by other's reaction. It felt wrong when I first saw it. But now, thanks to the interview given by Vincent, I now understand that it is a portrait of a moment in time, a brief glimpse of a much more complex man. It is like the tip of the iceberg, with 98% out of sight. It just occurred to me as I write this why Heath has all those tattoos. They are doorways into the rest of him, as you said of the tattoo below his breast, of Matilda. The tattoos themselves are meaningless; their values come from the parts of Heath's life that they lead to. They are portals into the deeper dimensions of Heath.

I think the same, and you said it so beautifuly. I think Vincent said in that interview, that those tattoos represented different periods in Heath's life... and it was Heath's idea to take off his shirt so Vincent could paint them. Obviously their symbolic meaning meant a lot to him.

[christie wood]

Pauline  I think I know how you feel because to me there is a dichotomy of Heath and Ennis. We love the Heath who created Ennis, who is sensitive and strong, independent and free. The portrait is of a Heath who created the Joker, who is troubled by insomnia, who is troubled by the media, by other's reaction. It felt wrong when I first saw it. But now, thanks to the interview given by Vincent, I now understand that it is a portrait of a moment in time, a brief glimpse of a much more complex man. It is like the tip of the iceberg, with 98% out of sight. It just occurred to me as I write this why Heath has all those tattoos. They are doorways into the rest of him, as you said of the tattoo below his breast, of Matilda. The tattoos themselves are meaningless; their values come from the parts of Heath's life that they lead to. They are portals into the deeper dimensions of Heath.

I am hesitant to be in the presence of the painting, too, because I know I will be overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness, of loss, but I no longer fear it as I did when I first saw it after January 22. Thank you for sharing your moment. It really helped me to come to terms with it. 

Love,

Andrew

Beautifully said, Andrew.       And I love what you say about Heath's tattoos, some people would not look beyond the surface of the ink on his skin, but there is so much beyond it, and it goes deep, right into his soul.

[LuvJackNasty]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

  Pauline.

[hpv]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Owh, Asali... 
Every time I see this picture it just take my breath away!!!!

[babytammy7]

Amber eye

Sudden silence
The world stops turning for a moment
Starts again but jerkily
Our screams are so loud that
nobody can hear them:
The amber eye is closed
And looks now upon worlds
we are not part of

Flashes words words flashes
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the open heart
the lithe mind
the sudden laugh
or the shy glances

Mighty waves
crashes in
Sharp cliffs underneath
Must keep afloat
All of us that remain

A pause a stillness
With gentler waves in sunset
where many feet
are soothed
after weeks of endless pacing
Tears and laughter
fuses with water
creating underwater rainbows
of  joy and pain

Flashes words words flashes
Still
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the hole in the ozone
the limber one left behind
Nor to the one less shadow
that is cast on the ground
Or to the mittens
that no longer has hands in them

And in the eye of the hurricane
A square of concrete
Stepped on
By baby’s feet
Stepped on once
And now stepped on forever
With him
And without him

OMG, this is so so so beautiful and heartbreaking!!  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(  :\'( Thank you so much for this amazing poem.

[babytammy7]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Pauline, sweetie....      

[megalyn08]

Some pictures I took last Autumn in N.Y.C. they make me think of our Sweet Angel... 





Miss ya Cowboy!  :\'(

You're really a sweet person, Chameau!      I miss him too  :\'(   :\'( from Megalyn08

[megalyn08]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

 Asali -  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(    from Megalyn08

[megalyn08]

to me there is a dichotomy of Heath and Ennis. We love the Heath who created Ennis, who is sensitive and strong, independent and free. The portrait is of a Heath who created the Joker, who is troubled by insomnia, who is troubled by the media, by other's reaction. It felt wrong when I first saw it. But now, thanks to the interview given by Vincent, I now understand that it is a portrait of a moment in time, a brief glimpse of a much more complex man. It is like the tip of the iceberg, with 98% out of sight. It just occurred to me as I write this why Heath has all those tattoos. They are doorways into the rest of him, as you said of the tattoo below his breast, of Matilda. The tattoos themselves are meaningless; their values come from the parts of Heath's life that they lead to. They are portals into the deeper dimensions of Heath.

Love,

Andrew

Andrew - Totally agree  ! love from Megalyn08 

[lancecowboy]

I think the same, and you said it so beautifuly. I think Vincent said in that interview, that those tattoos represented different periods in Heath's life... and it was Heath's idea to take off his shirt so Vincent could paint them. Obviously their symbolic meaning meant a lot to him.

Thank you to everyone who keeps encouraging me to write and post more. I was deeply shocked the first time I saw the painting. In fact, I had to switch the page off, either by clicking the back button, or closing the browser tab. I can't recall what I did. I just remember seeing it a few days after Jan. 22, and was so shocked, and scared by it, that it made me feel uneasy for days. Having the interview with Vincent explaining the motivation behind the different aspects of the design was like having this forum to discuss the movie after Brokeback Mountain. All the pain and emotions overflowing had a place to go, had a name, had reins.

I really appreciate the opportunities to explore this and other topics so freely, and with so much support. I think it is why I am finally coming to terms with the sadness and grief. I felt that last night, even though I could not recall any of it in the morning, I had a dream of being in the presence of Heath. It was not Ennis. I think it was my intense focus on Four Feathers, and the painting, to understand Heath better, and finally, all the weeks of news articles, tributes, and everything, all came together, and I saw the iceberg beneath the surface, I FELT the presence even in his absence. It is hard to explain, but for days I have been feeling this presence. I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.

[christie wood]

I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.

Another beautiful and moving post, Andrew.    I'm glad you feel able to talk about how you feel.

I loved everything you said but this especially....I agree and hope this very much for me too.   

[Emzan]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

I cant imagine how hard it must have been :\'(

 

[babytammy7]

.......and I saw the iceberg beneath the surface, I FELT the presence even in his absence. It is hard to explain, but for days I have been feeling this presence. I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.

Beautiful Andrew, really moving. I adore this part. Gracias cielo!!! 

[myprivatejack]

... I had a dream of being in the presence of Heath. It was not Ennis. I think it was my intense focus on Four Feathers, and the painting, to understand Heath better, and finally, all the weeks of news articles, tributes, and everything, all came together, and I saw the iceberg beneath the surface, I FELT the presence even in his absence. It is hard to explain, but for days I have been feeling this presence. I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.

Beautifully said,Andrew,beautiful and touching.Don´t worry,this will never end,for you and for nobody who has loved Heath...Gracias por compartirlo con nosotros.

[Marj]

Thank you to everyone who keeps encouraging me to write and post more. I was deeply shocked the first time I saw the painting. In fact, I had to switch the page off, either by clicking the back button, or closing the browser tab. I can't recall what I did. I just remember seeing it a few days after Jan. 22, and was so shocked, and scared by it, that it made me feel uneasy for days. Having the interview with Vincent explaining the motivation behind the different aspects of the design was like having this forum to discuss the movie after Brokeback Mountain. All the pain and emotions overflowing had a place to go, had a name, had reins.

I really appreciate the opportunities to explore this and other topics so freely, and with so much support. I think it is why I am finally coming to terms with the sadness and grief. I felt that last night, even though I could not recall any of it in the morning, I had a dream of being in the presence of Heath. It was not Ennis. I think it was my intense focus on Four Feathers, and the painting, to understand Heath better, and finally, all the weeks of news articles, tributes, and everything, all came together, and I saw the iceberg beneath the surface, I FELT the presence even in his absence. It is hard to explain, but for days I have been feeling this presence. I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.

Hi Andrew, I wasn't shocked the first time I saw the painting, but that was because I saw it in the interview with Vincent were he explains the motivation behind the painting.
I thought from the first time I laid eyes on it that it was beautiful but a little haunting because it looks so real.
It looks like he is going to step right out of the painting...but that is why it's so haunting.
I think if I had not heard the interview that I was shocked too.

With your love for Heath and the with passion you speak about him, I know he will stay in your heart forever.
You are not the only one, he will stay in my heart forever too, this man has changed my life.
It is such a wonderful thing that we can all be together like this, even if I would never meet anyone of you, you are all my Heath's and you all will stay in my heart forever, in a way you all have changed my life too.
Thanks everyone for being here   

[Marj]

Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings.   

Hi Asali, I can imagine that was such an overwhelming experience, it would bring tears to my eyes also.
I think when you stand there looking at him everything you have felt the past months after his death comes back double so hard.
I think it's kind of brave that you went, because it has not been that long when this all happened.
Thank you for sharing your feelings   

[keren_b]

Heath is always in my heart. I don't have to feel sad or to cry in order to know that he's there. I hardly cry now... although I still get goosebumps when I think back on that terrible night when I just heard the news, the reports and the pictures that kept pouring from the tv, the awful shock. One of the worst nights of my life. But I don't have to be in a state of shock and sadness and choked up with tears as a proof that I remember him, all the time. And I don't have to think about him all the time to know that he's in my heart. Although there isn't a day when I don't think of him. I loved him a lot, I still do, I guess I always will. More than anything else I wish I could've known him in real life, but in some way I feel that I do.

[Matt Nasty]

Heath is always in my heart. I don't have to feel sad or to cry in order to know that he's there. I hardly cry now... although I still get goosebumps when I think back on that terrible night when I just heard the news, the reports and the pictures that kept pouring from the tv, the awful shock. One of the worst nights of my life. But I don't have to be in a state of shock and sadness and choked up with tears as a proof that I remember him, all the time. And I don't have to think about him all the time to know that he's in my heart. Although there isn't a day when I don't think of him. I loved him a lot, I still do, I guess I always will. More than anything else I wish I could've known him in real life, but in some way I feel that I do.

yes im the same i dont cry much anymore but i still feel the same i know that im going to keep remembering heath and just because im not crying doesnt make me feel like i wont remember him as well as if i did cry. and the fact im not crying as much now doesnt mean i care any less about him.

[christie wood]

Heath is always in my heart. I don't have to feel sad or to cry in order to know that he's there. I hardly cry now... although I still get goosebumps when I think back on that terrible night when I just heard the news, the reports and the pictures that kept pouring from the tv, the awful shock. One of the worst nights of my life. But I don't have to be in a state of shock and sadness and choked up with tears as a proof that I remember him, all the time. And I don't have to think about him all the time to know that he's in my heart. Although there isn't a day when I don't think of him. I loved him a lot, I still do, I guess I always will. More than anything else I wish I could've known him in real life, but in some way I feel that I do.

I know how you feel Keren.