In Loving Memory
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=t13mh5HB_pk
Ravenus made this....tribute to Heath.
tissues will be needed.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ts2a26g5XkI
Remember - Josh Groban
I made this little video about Heath, tears were falling when I made it... :\'(
http://youtube.com/watch?v=I3wXnmwwYrw
I made a fanvid. I'm sorry this might not be in the exactly right spot, but to me, we all have our own tributes. Please, if you have a few minutes watch this. Thank you. God bless.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzgBQuhinuk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzgBQuhinuk)
God bless you, Heath. :\'( ^f^
Here is the link to Daniel Day Lewis' beautiful tribute to our Heath:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxr8mbvaB2E
Even though there are probably thousands already posted on youtube, I wanted to make a small tribute video of my own. Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time, but here's my small effort:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3utLIR5KVxI
I made another short tribute video, using quotes - not from members as you did - but from Heath's peers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCbChNdl-ZU
My heart aches and my tears could not stop. It hurt so much to make the video but it was more bearable when all our hearts are together.
Heath Ledger and you all have inspired me. I took the liberty to quote many of you and I hope you don't mind. Thank you. :ghug:
Forum video tribute - 10 minutes
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7UpwlBGFK10
All these video tributes to Heath are amazing...i love them all. I had an overwelming need to make one of my
own, here's the finished product -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yUTUfHVluc
Somehow this Poem keeps coming back to me;Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
To be an actor is to touch the boundries where we are most afraid to go. To be an actor is to push beyond the zone of comfort and show what we least want to see. Heath Ledger was able to do that and to touch our hearts and souls. He made the deepest and in the end the greatest sacrifice. Thank you friend, thank you. May you play with the angels now and be at peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace Heath
there is no sorrow, no pain, no suffering
there is eternal beauty and calm
You are forever young.
thoughts and prayers are with your family and loved ones
I must go home and have silence. My surroundings appear pitch black for me right now.
Who knows the depths of sadness of the heart?
What can one make of it, except to recall the words of the Poet:
Come, said my soul,
Such verses for my body let us write, (for we are one),
That should i after death invisibly return,
Or, long, long hence, in other spheres,
There to some group of mates the chants resuming,
(tallying earth's soil, trees, winds, tumultuous waves,)
Ever with pleas'd smile i may keep on,
Ever and ever yet the verses owning--as, first, i here and now,
Signing for soul and body, set to them my name
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When I heard the news
from the office jokester
that you died of drug overdose
I would not, could not believe it
I held back the urge
to google you
to find out for sure
Too afraid, to find the truth
Whatever the cause, your death
reminds me of someone else
not unlike the friend I miss so much
but also Marilyn Monroe, at the height of her career
Some may compare you to others, but to me
Marilyn and you are a pair of shining stars
breaking new ground where others see not
Being your own role model, when others see only the pretty face
She was smart as well as gorgeous
You have character and intelligence, as much as good looks
What ever the cause that took you from this earth
You can rest assured that your work, your legacy, will remain forever.
Candle in the Wind, it is just as appropriate for you, as it is for Marilyn:
[modified without permission]
Goodbye my good friend
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your game
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a fan
Your candle burned out far too soon
Your legend will be told
Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Hollywood created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Heath committed suicide
Goodbye my good friend
From the man who loved you from afar
Who sees you as something as more than sexual
More than just a movie star
With love....
He Is Not Dead
I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead. He is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
He has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.
And you - oh, you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here.
Think of him still as the same. I say,
He is not dead - he is just away.
(James Whitcomb Riley)
Just found this on "afterelton.com". Shakespeare's sonnet No. 28 (written to a man):
How can I then return in happy plight,
That am debarre'd the benefit of rest?
When day's oppression is not eas'd by night,
But day by night and night by day oppress'd,
And each, though enemies to either's reign,
Do in consent shake hands to torture me,
The one by toil, the other to complain
How far I toil, still farther off from thee.
I tell the day, to please him thou art bright,
And dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven:
So flatter I the swart-complexion'd night,
When sparkling stars twire not thou gild'st the even.
But day doth daily draw my sorrows longer,
And night doth nightly make grief's length seem stronger.
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Rest in peace, 'Ennis'...
This poem was read by the rabbi who officiated at my mom's funeral it gave me some comfort I hope it might offer all of us some at well
Do Not Stand by my Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye
An early version, printed by others on postcards:
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
IN LOVING MEMORY
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still
And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
Dear Brokies, my hugs are not enough but your words give comfort. Thank you for stopping by and expressing your thoughts. Together we will be strong.
:ghug: :ghug: :ghug:
I am going to Broome Street in a few hours and pay respect to Heath with flowers, a button and a card from the forum
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On the card, I wrote
"Dear Heath, anything interesting up in the heaven? We miss you."
I know you all will be with me. :\'( :ghug: :ghug:
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Ethan sent me this picture on my cellphone, he just took it front of Heath's flat :\'(
Dear Brokies,
This afternoon I had the privilege to go to the apartment and paid our tribute and respect to Mr. Heath Ledger. As soon as I got off the subway station a few blocks away, my heart was so aching and my tears could not stop. Every step was the hardest I had ever experienced in my life and my body was shaking. Until then when I laid the flowers, I was hit by the reality and realized what had happened.
Thank you for being with me and giving me the strength to do it on behalf of this most wonderful community. My eyes have been dried and then are wet again. I ask myself why we have to go through this? We mourn the death of Jack from the movie and now we mourn the death of Heath from the real life. For them, we are stronger and become better people in honoring Jack and Heath.
We are now even closer to Heath and forever grateful for what he has given us. :\'( :ghug: :ghug: to everyone of you. My heart and thoughts are with you.
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OMG! I found this picture from Reuters on the web... do you remember the Toronto picture with Jake, Mississaugared & Tpe?
:\'(
Crap, it's us! :\'( :\'( :\'(
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These are pictures of the tribute Ethan left from all us. They were taken by press photographers and were posted all around the planet in newspapers, magazines & the web.
I already posted this one from Reuters when I found it last night
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And there is this one published by Newsweek
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Some lovely tributes on the BBC website
It is tragic that we have lost one of our nation's finest actors in the prime of his life. Heath Ledger's diverse and challenging roles will be remembered as some of the great performances by an Australian actor.
Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd
I adored him. I don't know how to compare his talent to others but he's touched me deeply as a talent and it's a great loss - losing him at any age would be a loss but it was pretty rough news. I was really shocked by it.
John Travolta
I had such great hope for him. He was just taking off and to lose his life at such a young age is a tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.
Mel Gibson
What a terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to Heath's family.
Nicole Kidman
I am shocked and very saddened by the news. I deeply respected Heath's work and always admired his continuing development as an artist. My thoughts are with his family and close friends.
Cate Blanchett
I think Tennyson got it right in the poem when he described someone as having died at a young age but burning the candles at both ends, and oh what a beautiful flame he made, that was Heath, what a beautiful flame he made and a great talent.
My heart goes out to everyone in his family and my family. The saddest thing is his daughter whom he just loved
dearly.
Larry Williams - ex-partner Michelle Williams' father
The studio is stunned and devastated by this tragic news. The entertainment community has lost an enormous talent. Heath was a brilliant actor and an exceptional person. Our hearts go out to his family and friends.
Warner Bros president Alan Horn and studio president Jeff Robinov
He made a decision about four years ago to stop being led by producers and managers and to forge his own way. He started working with the most interesting directors. He was so successful at breaking out of the teen idol image.
Neil Armfield, who directed Ledger in his last Australian film, Candy
I worked on the same film and I never met him - we were never on the same set. This is as much news to me as anybody and it affects me in the same way.
Morgan Freeman, co-star in Dark Knight
I went through a similar thing with River Phoenix in the fact that he was so young. It's a real tragedy when someone so talented dies because you don't know on the early part of their career what more they could offer us.
Director Rob Reiner
I don't believe that death is an ending. That our loved ones live on, certainly within our hearts.
I wanted to share this poem by Dylan Thomas with you all.
And Death Shall Have No Dominion
And death shall have no dominion.
Dead mean naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clen bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
Dylan Thomas
From: http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/23/remembering.ledger.irpt/
---------------------------------------------------------------
I-Reporters recall meeting kind, handsome Heath Ledger
(CNN) -- CNN.com reader Kristy O'Connor took a prenatal yoga class with Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams and says she was "in awe of his devotion and attention to Michelle." Reader Dena Michnowih says she came across Ledger in Brooklyn, New York, teaching his young daughter Matilda her right from her left, and was enchanted.
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Heath Ledger is pictured with crew of the 2005 film "Lords of Dogtown" and members of the Zephyr skating team.
CNN.com asked readers to share their memories of Ledger, who was found dead in a New York apartment Tuesday, January 22. Famous for his roles in the films, "The Patriot" and "Lords of Dogtown," Ledger was widely acclaimed for his portrayal of the homosexual cowboy Enis del Mar in 2005's "Brokeback Mountain." CNN.com readers describe meeting Ledger in person, and call him humble and kind. Below are a selection of their responses, some of which have been edited for length and clarity.
Donal Logue of Los Angeles, California
I met Heath eight years ago while working on "The Patriot." He became a star while we were sequestered away in a small town in South Carolina based on the strength of the dailies going back to Los Angeles. Heath was a fantastically kind and sweet young man. He surrounded himself with his friends from Australia and never forgot any of us he ever worked with. I last saw him in Australia when he called my name on a Melbourne street and introduced me to Michelle, his (then) pregnant [girlfriend].
I have great memories of going for runs with him or watching a bootleg copy of a Parker and Stone's musical called "Cannibal! The Musical of the Donner Party Tragedy." Heath must have been in a place of great pain and sadness to be split from his wife and child. He was sensitive and unfairly victimized in his native country by the unfortunate Australian custom called the "tall poppy syndrome" in which an Australian, the second he or she achieves global success, is immediately and arbitrarily accused of losing all of their humanity. Not true. He was a sweet person, and less importantly, an unbelievaby talented actor. Maybe the best of his generation.
Dan Bova of Larchmont, New York
Once when I was driving in Brooklyn, I got a flat tire. As I was jacking up my car, this deep voice from behind me said, "Need a hand?" It was Heath Ledger. I couldn't believe it. He helped jack up my car and change the tire. He was really good with tools!
R. of Perth, Western Australia
I grew up with Heath around the speedway racing circuit. I remember the night he was a little boy and his Dad was racing speed cars at Claremont Speedway (my dad was in the race, too). His dad was coming 3rd then in the final corner, the two lead cars spun out and Heath's dad Kim took the lead and won the State Title race. Heath was standing a couple of rows in front of me with his mum and sister and they were all so excited, jumping up and down and cheering. He was about as happy as a little boy could be watching his dad become a champion. I remember that night because in the years that followed, I saw his parents marriage break up and it was like there was this moment in his childhood of pure joy that I witnessed.
Later Heath would pit crew for Graham Jones, and I crewed for my dad and brother. Heath and I were both the youngest on our crews so that meant our job was to take the fiberglass bonnets over to the hoses and wash the mud off after each race really dirty work but he managed to stay cleaner than the rest of us.
Crystal Davis of Toronto, Ontario
I met Heath in L.A. at a mall a year or so ago. I was staring at him working up the nerve to ask for an autograph. He saw me, started laughing and walked towards me. He said I was white as an "egg" and asked if he could do anything. I said, No thanks ... yes I forgot to ask for the autograph. He touched my shoulder and told me to take it easy and walked away. He looked back several times and smiled. What a great memory I have of him. My prayers go out to his family and friends.
Dena Michnowich of Glen Cove, New York
I was walking in the lower east side of Manhattan one day and I noticed a really cute man holding his little daughter on his shoulders. She looked just like him. He told her that they had to make a right and asked her to point them in the right direction, which she did. I soon realized that it was Heath Ledger and I got really excited. I was walking right up to them as they were waiting to cross the street. When I got close, I waved and he smiled at me. He was so handsome I got the chills. I could also sense that he had a very sweet spirit. It was a very special moment for me. I'm so sad to hear that he died.
Leanne Scorzoni of Staten Island, New York
I worked as a nanny for a number of years in Manhattan, and I ended up having a toddler class with my charge and Heath, Michelle and baby Matilda. The couple was so polite and laid back at first I didn't recognize who they were. They were genuinely interested in their child, her development, and treating the rest of us (including staff) with respect. He will be sorely missed.
Michael Williams of Perth, Western Australia
I met Heath Ledger many years ago while I was working at a local fast food outlet here in Perth Western Australia. He came through to order and I was amazed at how polite, kind and friendly he was. He stopped to sign autographs while he waited knowing that to the people asking him he was somewhat of a hero. He did all this with the great Australian attitude that he had and a smile on his face, he was one superstar that took stardom well and in his stride, I for one feel thankful that I have met this great person.
I send my deepest sympathy to his family and say to them that you do not mourn his passing alone; the people of Perth share your grief.
Tracy Kimball of Rock Hill, South Carolina
I met Heath Ledger in 1999 while he was filming "The Patriot" in South Carolina. I was a reporter for a daily newspaper there and he was at a press conference about the movie at Historic Brattonsville, a Revolutionary-era plantation. He was so very kind and was more than happy to sign my newspaper. The media was flocking around Mel Gibson, but seeing a new young and dashingly gorgeous guy standing off to himself, I approached him and asked for his autograph. He flashed that smile, grabbed my pen and used my back to sign the newspaper I was holding.
We had a conversation, but I don't remember it because I was so enamored. I had never heard of him before because the only American movie he had filmed was "Ten Things I Hate About You," which I had not yet seen. I went back to the paper where I worked and wrote a story about the new hot Aussie star that would surely become hugely successful in America. His death really saddens me. He was such a talented actor and a new dad. Having a child the same age as his daughter, it makes me even sadder to think of her missing her father.
Amanda Olmstead of Penticton, British Columbia
I met Heath when he was filming "Brokeback Mountain" in my hometown of Fort Macleod. He was a down to earth man with amazing talent. His portrayal of Ennis del Mar was life-changing for many of my friends. I am truly saddened by his death.
Kristy O'Connor of Sydney, Australia
My heart goes out to Heath's family and little Matilda, I met Heath one time at a prenatal yoga class in Sydney with Michelle and was in awe of his devotion and attention to her. He was a true gentleman and I'm sure an amazing father. To make assumptions as to how or why he died is to bring more pain to an already devastated family.
Adrian K. of Perth, Western Australia
I met Heath one night on the town in Perth. The one-degree of separation rule in Perth made him a friend of a friend. We had a brief and quiet chat. What struck me was his calm in the face of his monstrous burgeoning celebrity. With both of his feet planted firmly on the ground, he seemed to be facing the publicity with stoic resolve. Goodnight, Heath. You were a good bloke.
"A sad fan" in Chicago, Illinois
I was an extra in the movie "Dark Knight," which filmed in Chicago this past summer. I spend an entire weekend on set with Heath. He was rather quiet most of the time between takes, but seemed to be a nice, likeable guy. It was great to watch him work, as he was very committed to his craft. His death is a great loss.
Kelly Fishburne of West Palm Beach, Florida
I met Heath Ledger while working in Atlanta. We both were taking a CNN tour. He was silly, smiling all the time and we spoke about horses and riding lessons. He was also talking about the movie the Patriot he filmed with Mel Gibson. He had to do lots of riding. He was down to earth and so very talkative. Just a normal guy, hanging out. A real gentleman.
Jessi Lee of Central, South Carolina
I really enjoyed Heath's acting. His best movie was my favorite movie of 2005, "Lords Of Dogtown." Heath played the somewhat obnoxious Skip Engblom, but thinking of all the other actors who could have taken the roll, I don't think anyone could have done it better.
Even two of the original Zephyr shop boys themselves. Tony Alva & Stacy Peralta, said when Heath came in & did the voice he would use in the film, it was like hearing Skip from the past.
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He was our KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!
The love he shared with us will never diminish but only grow stronger with time.
God Bless and Comfort his Friends, Family, and Fans, in this time of Sorrow.
Heath ... You left us far too soon.
You will live forever in our hearts.
Be at Peace, Dear One.
I'm gonna try to rest something...I'm here since this early morning and now it's 11:15 pm. I know in a so few hours I'll be back again; I doubt I can sleep. This day has been a painful nightmare. I wish I knew how to quit thinking about you my sweet baby Heath. :\'(I decided I hate the world.
I hate the fact that Brokeback Mountain took 7 years to make.
I hate that Jack Twist died.
I hate the fact that Brokeback Mountain didn't win best picture.
I hate that Heath didn't win best actor.
I hate that Australian Paparazzi attacked Heath with water guns.
I hate that Heath was forced to sell his home.
I hate that even after the efforts of Brokeback Mountain the Gay and Lesbian community is still being victimized.
I hate that Heath Ledger died.
I hate what his family and friends is going though.
I hate that Matilda will never meet her Dad.
I hate the paramedics couldn't revive him.
I hate knowing Heath died alone in his bed.
I hate the last image I will always have of Heath being chucked in the back of a car in a black morbid body bag.
I hate the 22nd of January
I hate waking up to the first day without Heath.
I hate crying.
But most of all I hate knowing I'll never see Heath in another film.
I hate a world without Heath.
I hate.
Everyone has a personal way of handling grief. Some weep, some shout, some go grim and silent, and each reaction is valid and appropriate.
For me, I write. It's how I handle most of the emotions that assault me in my life. I write, between bouts of weeping and shouting.
So here is my method for venting, and I hope it does not offend anyone. It's all I know how to do.In Mourning
It was just another Tuesday,
And it was raining somewhere.
The clouds were dark and roiling,
And the coffee water, boiling.
Were you so forgotten there?
Did you stand there at the window?
Were there children in the rain?
Did you hear their playful song,
Rising bright and sweet and strong?
Were you overcome with pain?
The sun must be shining somewhere,
In this place where you are not.
All the golden promise lost,
Can we even know the cost?
Find the why, the how, the what?
While the night is full of wonder,
Liquid silver pools of light,
For each single one that fails,
A spark of primal brilliance pales,
Takes one candle from the night.
And we sit here in the silence,
In the place where you belong,
Speaking softly of good-byes,
Recalling tender sable eyes
And sweet laughter like a song.
Now the world is growing darker
And the night is growing cold,
And the empty silence lingers
Wrapping hearts with icy fingers.
As the funeral bell is tolled.
So the prince has left the stage;
Strangers watch him go and sigh.
And the world spins right along,
But there is no mourning song,
Save the one that weeps “Good-bye.”
FINI
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fcommon%2Fimagedata%2F0%2C%2C5856027%2C00.jpg&hash=793c8f8dc951396d6562bed3457e8ae06f8eae27)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv633%2FMendalind%2Fheath.jpg&hash=fb5682631f2184d33e86d870ec9ce4d19cff1335)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi137.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq215%2Frockxxxjunkie%2FLivejournal%2Fheathripklein.jpg&hash=249afb058f53692b0acc0d731df94b76d1939d3a)
I found this one on a Jake related blog...they stopped it, posted this image, and The Wings plays in the background
Cynical21, your poems are always moving and touching, aiming straight at the core of your theme. No one can find offense at you. They may regret being touched, being moved, but that is the price of sublime beauty. Without pain, we can hardly learn to live.
Thank you for that last stanza. The prince has indeed left the stage. And I suspect, the world will pause a little, yet, to sigh, to mourn, the loss of a great talent, the like we may never see again.
A man of such sensitivity
yet strong in character
and gentle in all his grace
A prince among men
whose vision of the world unseen
shines a beacon for us to follow
A star is born in heaven
whose light will guide us
from here to eternity
I for one will always remember
the prince who played a rogue, a knight, a ranch hand
a patriot, an addict, a son, a father, a man
:ghug:
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things...
I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
(Thoreau, Walden)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hotflick.net%2Fflicks%2F2005_Brokeback_Mountain%2F005BBM_Heath_Ledger_025.jpg&hash=edf261ea4464aadef885c246be64e811549d87c3)
Thursday morning, and I still can't believe that he's gone. One positive is that I have this place to go to, to be with people who are grieving just as much as I am. No one in my family seems to understand how I'm feeling. It's as though I've lost a close friend. Never have I felt this way about a famous person's passing before - NEVER. I'm just sick over this.
Anyway, I wrote this poem yesterday and posted it on my LiveJournal:
January 22, 2008
Tell me it's not happening
Tell me it's not real
Tell me I'm not feeling
This anguish that I feel.
Tell me you'll be coming back
And that I need not fear
Tell me you'll return to me
Please say you will, my dear.
The world is now, so suddenly,
A dark and lonely place
I cannot bear to think I'll
No longer see your face.
You shone your light upon us
A beautiful, sweet soul
You gave it all, and poured your heart
Into each and every role.
Now they say that you've gone
I can't believe that's true
For how are we to carry on
Without wonderful you?
Now your soul has flown away
But even as I cry
Within my heart, you will remain
So I'll not say goodbye.
Peace be with you, Mr. Ledger.
This was posted on the blog that Theresa set up - it's so beautiful I just had to repost it here. I hope Theresa doesn't mind.
Miss Me, But Let Me Go
Author Unknown
When I come to the end of the road,
and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little—but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that was once shared.
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the master’s plan, a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know.
Bear your sorrow in good deeds. Miss me, but let me go.
Heath's life is a celebration of the finer qualities of the human spirit.
I am truly thankful for the time he shared with us!
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faycu08.webshots.com%2Fimage%2F39767%2F2000646868846016205_rs.jpg&hash=441933fc45d2ff02b2bbbcc0cd788b36a5d2f286)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth68.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi29%2Ftigerlilyx4%2Fth_heath-ledger.jpg&hash=e08c1a5a0866d094989e2bc5721d3b67f5350fad)LETTER TO HEATH
My Heath sweet eyes:
Do you know?I had hardly posted any pictures of you in the thread;my preferences went to Jake-and Jack-.But this doesn't mean that I didn't like you,that I didn't love you.All the contrary.Yeah,in the beginning people noticed how expressive Jake's eyes were;a coworker of mine,( this one who cried with me when I told him the news and who has toasted for you're now in a better place where you're able to find peace while he was seeing BBM) said that He´s got "eyes like a headlight and he tells everything with his look..."But it's not completely true; I've always realised the sweetness of your eyes...
These days I think I've gone over your role in BBM almost scene by scene.And I remember the glance you take to Jack/Jake immediately before he say "Sometimes I miss you so much I can't hardly stand it"; all the love and tenderness in the world is reflected in this glance¡ Or when both of you descend from the mountain at the end of the summer and you are making jokes with his harmonica's sound; being as Ennis was a man of few words and no "I love yous" ,one more time your glance speaks volumes about your feelings...Or when you looked at Jack from the river,hardly a little spot on the mountain's high...You reflected yourself by your glance,in the end always sweet although sometimes wear in a "rough man" disguise.
As regards to your life off-screen,when Jake was given BAFTA award for his role in BBM,after his speech I saw how you clapped him fervently;your eyes seemed wet with emotion and looked at him with tenderness;how proud you seemed of your friend and of the effort both of you had done mentally and psychically.The same kind of look when you looked at Michelle,that reflected how in love you were with her,in the happy times when she loved you and you knew she was yours...The same look you had,much more still,when you looked at Matilda,your baby,who sooner or later will ask for her daddy and nobody will be already able to answer to her that He's working in a new movie...Yes,you had very sweet eyes,and maybe nobody has noticed how much love you had to give and how these eyes reflected this...
My grandmother said that when a beloved person is gone,she or he keeps on looking after us in another space;for this,I'm sure you'll keep on looking after your baby and Michelle,and looking at Jake with proud,and,maybe-only maybe-looking at all of us,who now are feeling a little helpless without your glance...It's difficult for me to write this,not only because I'm crying again;but also because it's not in my own language.But I do believe you'll understand it because it's written...no,not written...IT´S FELT WITH LOVE LANGUAGE.And this needs neither translation nor good grammar...
You bet,Heath,sweet eyes angel;I will always love you.I SWEAR.:ghug: ALICIA :^^)
We will be going to the apartment in Brooklyn first and then to SoHo. So probably around 3 pm. We will be taking all of you with us. Thank you for all your heartfelt messages.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30181.jpg&hash=be1fc29a5a8649a987410c2bd9fbd07244b74778)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30101.jpg&hash=e17ca543c7b1788c885688f00ae9245e400c0dc5)
If you can, please join us to light a candle.
I will be posting pictures from the tributes we left but I haven't uploaded them yet.
This is what was left in Brooklyn- Ethan already posted one set of candles and the posters he did.
This booklet contained posts from the vigil thread:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Ftrib001.jpg&hash=57b2d1358ce92316d3eb7c0659804ad6a28a94e7)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Ftrib003.jpg&hash=ae4088dec846f378880be075926aeca4d4a956f4)
This candle was left and this pic was attached to it.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Ftrib005.jpg&hash=d0e0e568d717c104a35a92423506cf5aac1f230a)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLTrib.jpg&hash=5b73d83254be1f1c5ca26542bb9e231760c16276)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Ftrib007.jpg&hash=6765c1d75fe00fe647ace4a7f283fc2be1caebb4)
This was the booklet with thoughts from this thread which was left at Soho
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Ftrib002.jpg&hash=2ead912428f28eafdfe5d480f9d46c185f5a4ba2)
I had two of the same candles but this picture was attached to it with the same words on the back:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLTrib2.jpg&hash=0ed379c06ee172fdeb732570c06de7df5af2bd0e)
Ethan sent me this picture he just took from Heath's flat, I also spoke with him & LuvJackNasty, they send hugs and love. ^f^
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis2%2Fimagejpeg_3.jpg&hash=8cc3afe8fd8b3f41bef535350f56e824f91251d2)
A tribute from Warnerbros
http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/HeathMemorial.html
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis2%2Fwb.jpg&hash=26a3fc111a0c81a1c15b568ead81af017a054921)
:\'(
I have light mine
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi83.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj311%2Fesmereldet%2FHeath%2FCandleForHeath.jpg&hash=63503640cf74773cc661bbd8db5add3696c9002b)
In this time Ethan with LJN are in Soho to light a candle for Heath..and so am I.
In Loving Memory
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=bf241b8a17cfcbf6c9562b9ce00f411864a9d9e9)
R.I.P. Sweet prince
Lovely candle, Esme.
My daughter and I lit ours:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi17.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb51%2Fneverlet_itgo%2Fphone_pics%2F0125081501.jpg&hash=140db7ccea2d03efabc41ad921440230753c44e7)
MY CANDLE IS ALREADY LIGHTNING...REST IN PEACE,HEATH
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis2%2F25012008068.jpg&hash=304c3d917d0b20382ec3b556e79fc4b67e2d396d)
Here's mine
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi104.imagethrust.com%2Fi%2F706067%2Fimg0907.jpg&hash=61b1b2d666889017fd6c996ae83db371cc294525)
Here is my candle for Heath.
My candle is lit (it's 3:44pm eastern time here in Jacksonville, Florida).
I wish I could post a photo:
It's a tall white pillar candle, and with it is the cream-white cowboy hat I got while in Wyoming last winter, and the Wyoming State Flower, The Indian Paintbrush (bright red with soft, bud-like fuzzy petals).
I've lit my candle too..........
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi172.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw9%2FMapoulina%2FP250108_2014.jpg&hash=242d88620960ad5667806842cd0ca5ac997683ab)
This is my candle :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapu.mabul.org%2Fup%2Fapu%2F2008%2F01%2F25%2Fimg-yhd7yxrsm8o.jpg&hash=e762e1ff9235f6c740f7b0cf3fbad94bd78445d2) (http://mabul.org/)
I just lit my candle for Heath.
I think it will take some time for me to recover from this tragedy...can't stop cryin' :\'(
Miss you so much Heath...
This is mine for Heath(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi112.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn163%2Fkarviainen%2FHeath%2Fcandle001.jpg&hash=6f8f975ce1e607f55067c08f07c34ecb2b1a163a)
A bit late, but here is my candle:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi13.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa258%2FPier_Angeli%2F100_0020.jpg&hash=07e887f47834096ede8bbc9b1c460a0b1489d959)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi196.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa102%2Fsweetlilgg%2FHeathtribute.jpg&hash=3888f3c2794f3f220bb1553a15a8f36392a041af)
wanted to share my candle.. many thanks to Ethan and Michelle <3
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnsa01.casimages.com%2Fimg%2F2008%2F01%2F29%2F0801290128512185944.jpg&hash=c4d7c9b3d11b2e5c1c0729fb0edf346a9f9ee451)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnsa01.casimages.com%2Fimg%2F2008%2F01%2F29%2F0801290133222185994.jpg&hash=bc7d7cb6f02f9e308a770f6815c7376c351f6ce7)
My candle for Heat :\'( :ghug:
REMEMBER ME ... by James Horner/Cynthia Weil
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faycu16.webshots.com%2Fimage%2F38615%2F2000605390612239295_rs.jpg&hash=ecc569c2ac182cdcf09e1cb06b656c8e6e254638)
Remember:
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember:
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me
I am the one star
That keeps burning so brightly
It is the last light
To fade into the rising sun
I'm with you whenever
You tell my story
For I am all I've done
Remember:
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember me…
I am that one voice
In the cold wind that whispers
And if you listen
You'll hear me call across the sky
As long as I still can
Reach out and touch you
Then I will never die
Remember:
I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me…
Remember:
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember:
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me
Remember me
Remember…
Me…
When something potentially more than coincadental hits the conscience of someone with a heart it's not always easy to dissipate the fog that clouds the same mind, and it helps when someone outside of the equation knows that it's not your responsibility nor burden to carry around. It's someone like me, also with a similar heart, yet not named Tony, that should tell you that you need to let it go. Extract the beautiful reminder of what a beautiful man Heath was and was aimed to always be, and let the rest go. If it rushes over you like rain, then it happened right. If you damn near cry your eyes out, it happened the way it was supposed to.
What we have is knowing a man with the power to grip others' hearts is undeniably in a better place. Yes it takes time for that to sink in, but then we are not robots. Accepting passages doesn't always happen with a 'pink' or click. But we will get it because not only does everything happen for a reason, but when love is involved it will eventually set in to have done no wrong. We who love(d) Heath, we with our flowers, tears, notes and hearts, made sure that his transition was soft, about as soft as the wings of an angel; We remember him like this for he gave to us a sense that the earth wasn't as wicked as it otherwise seems to be.
Tony, we're all in this together, trust that. :ghug:
God bless Heath and the part of his heart that he left us with.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi69.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi60%2Ffrenchcda%2FBBM%2520July%2F22012008.jpg&hash=185dfe8f67320f4e81f70f8abbed5b3337b2ce45)
22.01.2008
In the Soho
Twenty-eight years younger
Thee ere thy birth, more love
And yet now comes thy reaper
Thee send to ye
From the land of the free
Then spoke to ye of thy heart and of human life
Just one moment enough to frost thy veins
With courteous care
Then be done, alone thy cast beneath
The night with mighty grace
As all stood firmed upon this land
As cold thy flesh I sleep
Full moon winding thy path
The fairest far where losses be gone
And lesser fondness upon silence
Awaken the dawning of thy tongue
As thee begged to let thou live
For no wrongs ye behold to this day
In what ye see
As wondrous but nameless charm
A breath itself thou speak
O thee of loneliness
In prayer sad and long
I beg answer thee not
For this life thou harvest is indeed its seed
To the morrows of deeds
That has yet to touch our hearts
Nobler desires and tastes of joy
For one more moment do let ye stay and be
Upon this earth before the sun
In rest thee keep
For Love in all they seek
And in ye magic they see
Joeseph
Here are some pics from Brooklyn. Ethan has pictures too.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508032.jpg&hash=ba31c4db577b52644448df4e5c1aac1d55447393)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508035.jpg&hash=725c562997117f01ed0f4467535a36898a8dd1cc)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508039.jpg&hash=802e639be3d0d39d3f4bd481cd368fe2f0ebfa89)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508046.jpg&hash=59a4b9563c4a481bc2ce2714d27ad011397d55b3)
Some pics from Soho:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508066.jpg&hash=d4cf67bb766b01d62684681fad1953d071f4bc60)
The whole thing made me cry but the message at the bottom of this one killed me It says "May you sleep in the angels arms tonight" :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508069.jpg&hash=8cfbcc7af2e5b5c5fa3bd088d47096e5b41fcf8f)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508057.jpg&hash=3b6cd6cec42f607e6df41d5ee9ba61af2d4c1101)
Here is the tribute left in SoHo from everyone here. Thank you again for your words which went into this. :ghug:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508093.jpg&hash=4612a5c65882ceb0560d7197ef01abf7f4d3c4b1)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508085.jpg&hash=9052d11041f70cbc8ef2dffdb5c077c37f5a6448)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508105.jpg&hash=2cc040b7ab1294b896a867a7b9466de5ef4a6797)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508108.jpg&hash=842aa482bdbb8d4d836a68c2292b8ca3e5e60fd6)
Thank you so much for lighting the candles with us. Seeing these pics is heartening and gives me a lot of comfort. LuvJackNasty is a fine trooper and the tribute she made is just heart warming. :ghug:
Words can not express the trip today to pay our respect at the places. Now I fully understand how Ennis must have felt when he went to visit Jack's parents. It is still hard to believe what had happened. It was very special to have LuvJackNasty and all of your thoughts with me. The love we shared for him beyond the physical boundaries speaks volume. As LuvJackNasty and I just stood there, leaned on each other and starred at the memorial, for a moment I felt that Heath knew and is immersing himself in love from all of us. Will there be a closure on this and how long will it take? I don't know. However, I do know that I am not and will not be alone. Thank you all. :ghug:
In Brooklyn
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30231.jpg&hash=72206ea6fc6d53ce3a0511d2c492501d99795e10)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30281.jpg&hash=0211b5ff01f55396d40fd8a648bfe2e4e6ae23aa)
In Soho
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30452.jpg&hash=21d9963bbee1262d08df3afaba2583446f335f21)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30441.jpg&hash=8a87a61f11fb66a2e0f153f5a8e922ac7f8509b8)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30551.jpg&hash=62e0259ec66f1380c3afa23a5d3750c1c33a1d59)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508113.jpg&hash=b813f946f61ad0743077efc3185748e4795e0fe1)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508112.jpg&hash=929d9f7c894a75809dfaa5d4a8c39bd6481e7049)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508115.jpg&hash=8feacc1d41ba8e2d3fb371250410cfdc99d38338)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508124.jpg&hash=828b09675b59405c9f481e0c391768dbd50f7b69)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30511.jpg&hash=f615a990adbc0cc125e05d650f8a101fbc9df09d)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30691.jpg&hash=d3fdd68c85c9f9642f73568ea76c88cb03f7a63f)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30351.jpg&hash=78ad5beb8bc91df1e27bb3ca6dabcbc2c9b192a3)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30471.jpg&hash=b4a284840054c8304a1cf7116dc37ba0d9e278bd)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30621.jpg&hash=9397799c80aa05e29fb5bd921b03a1dfe6062df3)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30791.jpg&hash=7925f98bd172a62f1bb783528d06c11673aaa233)
Thanks for your thoughts and for lighting the candles with us
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FImage4.jpg&hash=0a280e56f4995a4aeeb675aba48137366250f392)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30661.jpg&hash=86cc7cc9d038b8b4f7e338800b14227841d0ef11)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30641.jpg&hash=67d787d35eca857562aaec8465e285bc5f7daafe)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30561.jpg&hash=9d07344d35d897ef9aee0b638f98afcd0f24e975)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30371.jpg&hash=2558086aef6ae7b6b51721fab28d347d4dd55465)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30361.jpg&hash=c25373e494b61b8170a6bd9ad50aca32294315fc)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30301.jpg&hash=aeb225532ede3fb6911f6641201960f04c50fa36)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30631.jpg&hash=99602eac2497fc024863c970961ca55bab9d0b53)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30601.jpg&hash=e55785473fa02e8ad65116a480d4199aa8f54e50)
Thank you all. Just knowing that we are not alone and have each other's support is comforting. Heath is now resting in peace and on his way home.
He now lives in our hearts forever.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508144.jpg&hash=a4f430d25400729b1bd0090ef78f0e1c0fb74313)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508156.jpg&hash=cbc487d1cb52df6e8d2249c2083bd50adf9d0fae)
Last batch from me. I do have a couple of little vids showing the memorials that I will post tomorrow at some point. Ethan has more pics that I'm sure he'll be posting.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508165.jpg&hash=f0e5ac8978f4f0a1e9e5fb5ada8ed87621675906)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FHLNY012508166.jpg&hash=ec0df2cd4386f2355a112d7db61c04ed98aa871d)
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Hello,
I have lurked at this site for months but have now finally joined. I am deeply saddened by Heath's passing. I have been a fan of his for years. I just wanted to share a poem and a song that helped me through my mother's death, which was ironically on Janurary 22, 2005. I hope this brings some comfort to all those so hurt and lost from this sad and terrible tradedgy.
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you;
Whatever we were to each other, That we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
-Henry Scott Holland, Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London
Didn't Want to say Goodbye
Ari Hest
In a room draped in blue
I am thinking of you
I am tired, I can't sleep
And for you I will weep
In a flash, you are gone
Yet around me life is calm
I cannot understand
Is this part of the plan?
I get cards with bouquets
But they can't take your place
I have dreams about us
But I always wake up
I can ask all I please
I can beg down on my knees
For a reason, for a sign
But these answers I wont find
And I will weep
Can you hear me?
Cant you tell me why?
Ill go on without you
And what's left for me to do
But to stay where I am
In my world of pretend
And I wont know until I die
If my faith was but a lie
Til then you'll hear it in my cry
I didn't want to say goodbye to you
My thoughts and prayers are with Heath's family and friends. Mostly with Matilda who I know feel a connection too, we both lost parents on the same day. I pray for Michelle and hope she will be ok. I pray for Jake to be strong and be the best godfather to that sweet little girl and keep Heath's memory alive for her.
-Lauren
I am passing this on from Jenna Hilary Sinclair. This really made me feel if not better, then better understanding how it is that we feel so intimate with Heath as to be so devastated by losing him. I love how she said it. It's especially meaningful to those of us who are fanfic writers. (The "Hallelujah" is from her listening to Rufus Wainwright's rendition of this song.)
kathy
----------------
The Ennis who inhabits my mind and heart was given expression by Heath, his voice, his looks, the depth in his eyes. It's a very complicated dynamic going on inside me right now as I mourn on several levels at once: for Heath, and that pain is raw and genuine, for the part of Ennis that is Heath, and for the part of me that is Ennis through Heath. I feel as if he and I touched each other through Ennis in a very intimate way through my writing and his gift of bringing Ennis to life, and now that extended part of me is gone.
I am so sad right now, and yet.... And yet there is joy in this sadness, too. We humans do lots of things to help ourselves get over the death of a loved one. Heath, I didn't know him, and yet in a way we all did through his performances, and because he bared...not his soul, but the soul of Ennis Del Mar, and in the process it is impossible not to think there was some intermingling of essences. I keep telling myself that Ennis hasn't died, and he hasn't, and yet it's something I have to keep reminding myself.
We in Brokeback Mountain fandom, I believe, are the walking wounded. We banded together around the various forums and fanfiction not through prurient interest, not through casual seeking of enjoyment, but because we'd been horribly hurt by perhaps the most tragic story ever told in film, and we needed our community in order to heal. And now, this most tragic story has gotten sadder, and I didn't think that was possible. And yet...
Hallelujah. For the gift that Heath Ledger gave us, one that has literally transformed many lives. For the gift of his life and the giving of his talents and art.
Hallelujah. For the people who have become our friends through this fandom. For the creation of a community, however fractured, however imperfect, still a community of human beings sharing their own creativity, their feelings, their opening arms, a group that would never have come to be without Heath Ledger's magnificent portrayal of a man I love.
Hallelujah. For the pain that accents the joy, and the joy that accents the pain.
Jenna, 1/23/08
gambrinus, the tribute video is wonderful. It has me in tears again.
Some videos from Wednesday and yesterday
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2Fth_MVI_3038.jpg&hash=967efd7432b74ea6b915c02969c9b8f70909ce50) (http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e266/ethanwow/Heath/?action=view¤t=MVI_3038.flv)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2Fth_MVI_2976.jpg&hash=124b775eb86d85e079fd794b2d5affc713bb199b) (http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e266/ethanwow/Heath/?action=view¤t=MVI_2976.flv)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2Fth_MVI_2991.jpg&hash=8cdaad9e161119f291faebab068a47ed0dae8c0d) (http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e266/ethanwow/Heath/?action=view¤t=MVI_2991.flv)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2Fth_MVI_2996.jpg&hash=1a0afaedf01d640d5d7377fcb280dcecfaa52ee6) (http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e266/ethanwow/Heath/?action=view¤t=MVI_2996.flv)
Here are the two shorts vids I took yesterday
Brooklyn
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Fth_HLNY012508043.jpg&hash=f192754c82dd005aba47474bac40f4e801de97d7) (http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e163/luvjacknasty/Misc/?action=view¤t=HLNY012508043.flv)
Soho
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2Fth_HLNY012508092.jpg&hash=6a3caf02b4de299b7f313f424618a4c46fd19901) (http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e163/luvjacknasty/Misc/?action=view¤t=HLNY012508092.flv)
I wish I had the photo shop to make this what I'd like. I also wish I had more beautiful words, nothing I can say willl touch what is in my heart.
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It is end of day.
The sun has truly gone down,
such small chance to shine.
I'll never find words
your beauty...beyond this world,
your beauty...legend.
jessi
1-22-08
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Asked myself the reason, told myself he was just too damn sweet.
Thought I had to have a reason, thought maybe we'd been bad,
not good enough
so the cosmos took back this, this rarest of gifts.
I had to wonder the reason, heart demanded one, gut needed
something to take away the fist.
Told myself too young, too alive, too much to give,
so much to live...
but there's got to be a reason, there's just got to be...
was he too brilliant, too brave, too wonderful, too deep
is that why the pain, our pain, our swear...
Maybe his soul was just too precious, too good, maybe,
or, was he just too damn sweet.
I thought I would post this info over here. Someone on DC is in Alberta and went to Campsite #2 (the 'tent don't look right' site)
Here is a photo they took.
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the way the sun is coming over the mountain it feels like Heath is looking down on all of us
To Heath
You taught us through Ennis how to live, how to love, how to grow.
You showed us by your life how to be gentle and kind, be generous and genuine.
You reminded us by your departure to a better life, that life is brief, and seize the day.
Because tomorrow may never come, and there is no other chance, to say I love you.
Because I do. Because you gave Ennis the power to change lives, to change minds.
Because of you, the world is a little gentler, a little kinder, a little more understanding.
How I wished I had told you when you were still here.
How I wished I had sent a get well soon to wish you well while you were down.
How I wished I had sent a card, just to show you that you are loved and remembered.
But now, you are gone.
Now I have no where to send my wishes.
All that comforts me now, is that I know you are there.
I feel you are still in my heart.
I know you are smiling at all the love sent your way.
And you are finally at peace, surrounded by love and loving memories.
You have always been gifted and giving, even to the end.
You will always be loved, liked this, always.
Sometimes the hole you left behind is so immense, I feel empty.
Sometimes the gift you so generously gave is so huge, I feel blessed.
Sometimes I miss you so much.
Sometimes just thinking of your pictures make me smile.
Whatever the time, I know the love you left in my heart, will always be there.
I don't know where this belongs but I was finally able to gather somewhat coherent thoughts.
I've been blessed with this place and the people who make it what it is. I've had two years to share joy and heartbreak in complete freedom, without fear of being judged. And I’ve needed that now more than ever and will need it as I muddle through this process. I spent most of yesterday crying my eyes out and pondering my place in this fandom. I’m crying as I type this. Last night was the first night ever that I didn’t log in (excluding when I had no access), because right now in a lot of ways it hurts too much to be here. But I know we are all in that same boat riding those waves of grief. In some ways it feels cold to say that it comforts me to know that we are all together in that because I don’t want any one of us to be hurting. But at the same time it is comforting to know that right from day one we were never alone. I think I hit anger and depression while hopelessly clinging to the denial stage. I know one day we’ll all hit some stage of normalcy again and that day will be quicker for some and longer for others. These last two days have been especially hard for me and I gave serious thought to rolling up my tent and coming down the mountain. I’ll try to spare you of every thought that ran through my brain. I don’t know where we go from here or if one day the sun will shine as bright again. But what I do know is this: He gave us all a beautiful gift, where in a thousand lifetimes I'd never be able to repay him for. And to give up on everything is to squander the gift he gave us. If he didn't know before, he certainly knows now the impact of what he gave us in his young life. And I am eternally grateful to him for leading us all to each other. Together we will weather this storm and I’m grateful to everyone for being there for each other.
LJN---forget the word "fan". Bury it. That is for those who were crazed for Marilyn Monroe or for political figures. It's true, there was some
element of being "fans", and that came with the territory of HOW he crossed our path, each one of us. But fans don't grieve like this-only family
can hurt this much.
The way he entered our lives was through that route, as a celebrity, as a gifted actor we admired. With good references as a human being.
That's how we met him. But that was only a means to get this beautiful soul into the lives of those who could really love him. Which is a huge
difference. Fans say good-bye and walk away, and find another focus. Fans weep a day or two, then forget. It was only the means of meeting
him, LJN, for we were meant to meet, for we were and are, in some unexplainable way, a real part of his true family.
That you are still grieving so terribly, and that so many of the rest of us are, means we went past the means of introduction long ago, and
loved him for who he was. And it also means, you are different in a way that makes you so much to the better. There are those who could
not love. You did. You weren't a fan, LJN, you were far more-you were part of a family that loved him so very much. I am in great hurt
over what tpe hoped wasn't true but could be- the tragedy that his defense walls were so strong, he didn't know--we loved him for himself.
Stay strong, and please know that when the storm hit, you and others were there to stand up for the rest of us, and go there, as you did.
Fans go away. Family stays. We all love you for having seen what we saw, and for being who you are. None of us should be worried or
embarrassed over our tears. We have a reason to weep. We met a good and kind and decent man, and life hit him too hard, too soon.
Hello Brokies..
Yesterday, as everyone knows, some of my friends came over to watch Heath Ledger movies. Sadely, we did not realize how long each would take and in the end, only got to see Brokeback. I wanted everybody to watch the whole thing, wanted them to just sit, without a sound and watch every moment this beautiful movie brought to us, but time started to creep up on us. I had to skip a few parts but I made sure to show the end, the heartbreaking fight, this time, almost brought me to tears. For some reason, in Ennis' tearful, exhausted, frustrated eyes, I saw Heath. I didn't wanna watch it any longer, hearing Ennis' words "I can't take this anymore, Jack"...but then, the loving embrace came on, and all I could do was smile, like everyone else did as well. By the end, when Ennis finds the shirts, takes them with him, and puts it on the closet door, my friends were balling. Some have never seen it before and were amazed.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi86.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk116%2Flil_dwarf_611%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FIn%2520loving%2520memory%2Fmixofpics007.jpg&hash=8619952d10978507c2d801812d118163173eac00)
To Heath!
By 10pm, 2 of my friends had to leave and all that was left was me, my friend Val and friend Vicky. We were so exhaused, both from controllling the other girls and also, from the movie. I felt, after some people left, like Heath's death happened all over again. But luckily, my friends were there to help me. We told stories about people we have losts, the grieving process, and how Heath and the many others, were looking down on us. It was hard for us, but in the end, worth it, we watched and thanked god for bringing this legend into our lifes and we prayed that he was in heave now, watching over his daughter and smiling. Heath, we love you and you will never be forgotton...
I keep him memory alive, if you don't know already, I have been collecting pictures and articles of Heath since his death. This is all I've collect after Day 5..
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi86.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk116%2Flil_dwarf_611%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FIn%2520loving%2520memory%2Fmixofpics011.jpg&hash=d4ec165a64b190c78c4af5e56dd2fed262237d49)
(In People, they had over a 5 pg. article on him)
And here, 3 of my friends have already written letters to Heath, in which hopefully, we'll be able to bring to him house...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi86.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk116%2Flil_dwarf_611%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FIn%2520loving%2520memory%2Fletters.jpg&hash=f227cddf9cd85915682ccac902ab4e18d8bf03d4)
i wanted to come here again and show you a picture..
"our" pictures has made it over reuter's all around the world again; this here is from our local (!) newspaper..
but i guess you know how i felt when i opened up the page, not expecting this..
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi209.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb316%2Ftizi17%2F27012008.jpg&hash=04b7d5ea5680ac0f155de07b7e050680c27d1af1)
i just want to repeat my thankfulness that we had the chance to be there, not only in our hearts and thoughts.
Dear Heath,
You gave flesh and blood to an immortal character.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fbaby.jpg&hash=9a68ebaa77966675abbe3562ac852f41f0da579c)
I just would like to thank you for this, your work changed my life.
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Rest in Peace
I did not know Heath Ledger. We never met. In fact, he never even knew I existed. Nevertheless, he changed my life, in so many ways, and for that I will always be grateful. I have seen almost all of his movies, and enjoyed most of them too, but it was Brokeback Mountain that had an indelible effect on me. The universal themes of love and loss, loyalty, the importance of being true to yourself and self worth, regret and redemption, and the power of love unlocked a part of me that had lain dormant for far too long. And I was privileged, not only to see this impact on other people, but to experience it with them as well. The journey that started when I walked into that theatre led me to a community of people who believed in and embraced the ideals of love, acceptance, and compassion. All of the broken pieces of us came together there and formed a bond that allowed us to heal and grow, and from that a family was forged and lifetime friendships were born. None of this would have been possible had two bright, caring, talented people not taken it upon themselves to inhabit the characters that taught us those lessons, bringing them to life on screen and making us love them. Heath Ledger was one of those people, and he didn’t just take on his role, he did it both graciously and gracefully. And continued to do so every day after. Daniel Day Lewis said “I didn’t know him. I have a strong impression I would have liked him very much, as a person, if I had.” and I feel the same way. I didn’t know the private Heath, the one his family referred to as Heatho and Roast, but what I saw was a man who lived his life by his own standards and not those of the industry he worked in, a man who said that being a parent was the most important thing he’d done, and a man who worried, when he took on the role of Ennis Del Mar, not that he might be stigmatized by playing it, but that he would be able to do it justice. I think we can all agree that he did so and then some. So for all the pieces of himself that he let me glimpse, while still fiercely protecting his own privacy and that of his family, and for all of the lessons that I have learned from Brokeback Mountain, and from the worldwide community of ennisjack, which I would never have found without him, I can only be profoundly grateful. And since those lessons and those people are forever embedded in my heart, he is as well. I will remember him, cherish him, and love him for the rest of my life.
Heath Ledger the man is gone, not to return. Heath Ledger’s soul lives on in the thousands, nay millions, of souls whose lives he transformed and will yet transform in ways immeasurable.
His work here was done, and by whatever providence controls such events, his talent was needed elsewhere to continue his work and practice his craft.
Like the miracle of Ennis meeting Jack, we should rejoice, not in the fact that he is gone, but in the fact that he came here at all, at this time, in this place, during our lives, to complete the work he so masterfully achieved.G'bye Mate. You Changed Everything.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq313%2Fjackster545%2FGoodbye.jpg&hash=a5daac26f0db347bb0462eb232ee2de946218417)
"To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom."-Heath Andrew Ledger-(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapu.mabul.org%2Fup%2Fapu%2F2008%2F01%2F27%2Fimg-214714m2xdy.jpg&hash=435a797eaf8fd0f80ca2737441a0430cbd01f571) (http://mabul.org/)
Friday night with some french brokies (HGB, Fredptitefée, canmore, Alec_Scudder, Chrichri and me), we went to watch BBM on theater in Paris. We learned that it was on screen the day before, what a coincidence!
It was very weird and sad at the beggining, seeing Heath on the screen and thinking that he isn't here anymore... And then I felt into the story as the previous times, forgetting about Heath, Jake, the world around me. Just Ennis, Jack and me. In a way, it warmed my heart to see that although we lost Heath, Ennis was still here in front of me, and that he would always be. Being with fellow brokies also helped a lot. We even managed to laugh. Being with brokies is just priceless!
Then, we went to Notre Dame de Paris to light up candels for Heath. It was unseasy because of the wind, but we managed to find a good place just in front of the cathedral and suddenly the wind stopped.
It was so beautiful, we were standing up silently, in front of the candels, thinking about Heath, thanking him.
No need to hide pain, no need to explain, we huged and talked about him. It was a big relief doing it. I feel much better now. Finally we went off, letting Notre Dame take care of the tiny flames glowing in the dark...
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She takes the back road and the lane
past the school that has not changed
in all this time
She thinks of when the boy was young
all the battles she had won
just to give him life
That man
she loved that man
for all his life,
but now we meet to take him flowers
and only God knows why
For what's the use in pressing palms
when children fade in mother's arms
It's a cruel world
We've so much to lose
and what we have to learn
we rarely choose
So if it's God who took her son,
he cannot be the one living in her mind
Take care my love, she said
don't think that God is dead
Take care my love, she said
you have been loved
If I was weak, forgive me
but I was terrified
You brushed my eyes with angels wings
full of love,
the kind that makes devils cry
So these days
my life has changed
and I'll be fine,
but she just sits and counts the hours
searching for her crime
So what's the use of pressing palms
if you won't keep such love from harm
It's a cruel world
you've so much to prove,
and heaven help the ones
who wait for you
YOU HAVE BEEN LOVED ... by George Michael
I remembered that night,22 January 2008. i was reading MadLori's Two Crows Joy when i fell into a sleep.
(excuse my English,i'm an indonesian).
it was when Jack told Ennis that he'll leave to take care of his sick mother in Lightning Flat.Jack said
"i'll fu**in miss you,ennis", and ennis replied "me too darling,me too".i read it over and over again before i fell
into a sleep and the very morning of the day after i received a message from a friend that said Heath has gone,i felt agry. Angry was all i felt that time. why him? why dont this guy or that guy or anybody but him?
my heath?My darlin ennis?
it took alot of time,a lot of thoughts to realize,to deal with the idea,that he wasnt that far.
He's gonejust to be closer to me cause now he's in my heart.
everytime i look into the sky i asked him ." you happy now Heath,you Ok up there?"
and i can almost see him smiled and that heal me for sure. i pray for him everyday.To ask Dear Lord to take
care of him for he always take care of me through Ennis.
Sleep tigh cowboy, you'll be saved in our heart for ever.
thanks for everything. you'll always be loved/
Hugs to all brokie.
We will always have Ennis and Jack!!!
oh where,oh where,can my baby be?
The Lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven so i got to be good
so i can see my baby when i leave this world
--Pearl Jam - Last Kiss--
HE moves me differently: and yet if I could do it without seeming insane, I'd never see him again! You'll perhaps think me rather inclined to become so,' he added, making an effort to smile, 'if I try to describe the thousand forms of past associations and ideas he awakens or embodies. But you'll not talk of what I tell you; and my mind is so eternally secluded in itself, it is tempting at last to turn it out to another.
-- Mr. Heathcliff, from the closing chapters of Wuthering Heights.
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Found this somewhere and thought I should post.....I personally think it's beautiful and devastating at the same time.
Death is nothing at all
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away
into the next room.
I am I,
and you are you;
whatever we were to each other,
that, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used,
put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air
of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be
the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all
that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
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only for a few days...everybody
admires and loves them
as a sign of spring and hope.
Then they die...
but they have done what
they needed to do!"Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
"Isn't Life Strange" ... by The Moody Blues
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Isn't life strange
A turn of the page
Can read like before
Can we ask for more?
Each day passes by
How hard man will try?
The sea will not wait
You know it makes me want to cry, cry, cry -
Wished I could be in your heart
To be one with your love
Wished I could be in your eyes
Looking back there you were, and here we are.
Isn't love strange
A word we arrange
With no thought or care
Maker of despair
Each breath that we breathe
With love we must weave
To make us as one
You know it makes me want to cry, cry, cry -
Wished I could be in your heart
To be one with your love
Wished I could be in your eyes
Looking back there you were, and here we are.
Isn't life strange
A turn of the page
A book without light
Unless with love we write;
To throw it away
To lose just a day
The quicksand of time
You know it makes me want to cry, cry, cry -
Wished I could be in your heart
To be one with your love
Wished I could be in your eyes
Looking back there you were:
Reaching you somehow.........
You are the sunlight coming from my window...
it will be you
embracing me.....
I Let you be the thunder
to hear your heartbeat
zest to life
I let you be the coal
the undying ember
to give me warmth
of those cold lonely nights
I let you be the stars
to cluster in the sky
write the words
and make it shine
I let you be all these
to be with me
all of my life.....
.................Somehow I can reach you, my sweet Heath.
HOMMAGE À HEATH...
Il était Bon, il était Beau, il Sentait Bon l'Amour et la Tendresse, Notre HEATH LEDGER !...
Je l'ai connu sur la " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ", ce Bel ENNIS, tel une Star Filante au milieu d'une Comète...
Qu'il Repose en Paix, maintenant, tel une Étoile Brillante et Scintillante au Firmament de la Galaxie...
HEATH / ENNIS, Aide-Nous à Parcourir les " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN " de l'Amour, et Trace les Pistes qui Nous permettront de Te Rejoindre !Image de " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN "(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theage.com.au%2Fffximage%2F2006%2F01%2F25%2Fbrokeback_2601_wideweb__470x314%2C0.jpg&hash=462c212411f56db29559e330e537f28b6ed89a56)Hommage devant Notre-Dame de Paris - France(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2056%2F2223523053_a8265dac20_b.jpg&hash=df58ebfb44e9eb254321e0f66493715899147c8b)Hommage sur le flanc de BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi190.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz191%2Fmouk_album%2FP1000400-1.jpg&hash=fc8adac5edcc3d1e26e4b06adb2bf07e6029fb4c)Hommages devant son appartement de SoHo (New-York) - USA(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_30791.jpg&hash=7925f98bd172a62f1bb783528d06c11673aaa233)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FImage4.jpg&hash=0a280e56f4995a4aeeb675aba48137366250f392)<^( #) :^^)
HOMAGE TO HEATH...
It was Good, it was Beautiful, it Smelled Good the Love and Tenderness, our HEATH LEDGER !...
I known it on the " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ", this Beautiful ENNIS, a such Star Slipping by in the medium of a Comet...
That it Rests in Peace, now, a such Star Brilliant and Scintillating with the Firmament of the Galaxy...
HEATH/ENNIS, Assistance Us to Traverse the " BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN " of the Love, and Traces the Tracks which will enable Us to Join You !
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Hi Brokies...
This forum, this board has seemed to became my new home. A place where I can let out any feelings or thoughts I am thinking, everyday, helping me grieve the death of our beloved Heath.
But today, I cannot believe, is a week later. A week since Heath's death, has it gone that quickly? I feel that he's died only yesterday. Around 4pm today, coming home from school, I said the Lords prayer and sent a kiss up to Heaven.
Monday night, seeing the Memorial video..I didn't expect Heath to be there, in the last moment, the screen when black and then, Heath's picture came up, I started to shake, I couldn't believe it...then, when DDL dedicated his speech to Heath. It made me smile but sadden me at the same time. I thank and respect DDL for his dedication, not many would take over a minute to pay tribute to an actor he'd never truly met. I have seen DDL in "My Left Foot" and I was amazed, I had no idea it was him. I am now certainly interested more in the acting he has done over the years.
Besides all this, I've been doing good, at times, just thinking about Heath, hoping that he's doing good up there. I'm sick of the tabloids that I see in the stores..and when my mom watches "TMZ" or "The Insider" how many fingers they are pointing on him, for being something I know in my heart, is not him. He was a good man, a good father...why now, would they dicuss all of the things he has done wrong? Let it be, let it be.
:ghug:
Lis
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I don't have the way many of you have with words, I mean in English
What I can't express with words, I try to do otherwise
I will always remember you little darlin'
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There's a new angel in Heaven, huh?
This is one of my favourite songs "Man of the hour" a song made for the movie 'Big Fish' by Pearl Jam. I posted this some time ago for Jack, and never thought I'd make it for our Heath :\'( Please try to see this as something positive ^f^
crashed and on their way
as he enjoyed collisions; others walked away
...a snowflake falls in may.
And the doors are open now
as the bells are ringing out
Cause the man of the hour is taking
his final bow...goodbye for now.
And the sky breaks at dawn;
shedding light upon this town,
they'll all come ‘round
Cause the man of the hour is taking
his final bow...G'bye for now.
And the road this young man paved
The broken seems along the way
The rusted signs, left just for us
He was guiding me, love, his own way
Now the man of the hour is taking his final bow
As the curtain comes down
I feel that this is just g'bye for now.
Hello everyone,
My name is Loretta. I am a new member and this is my first post. I am a heterosexual female, but Brokeback Mountain had a profound affect on me…for lots of reasons and on many levels. The first time I saw the movie I sobbed uncontrollably…the second time my eyes remained dry, but I was left with a clenching in my chest that I could not loosen. It was then that – hoping to purge some of the heartache – I wrote a poem called “Jack, I Swear”. It remained a poem for almost 2 years until a good friend wrote some music. I went to Nashville in early December and had it recorded as a demo (sung by my co-writer.) It was written in honor of Brokeback Mountain, Heath and Jake for playing those parts so beautifully, 2 of my very dear gay friends and for equality for everyone. I would love everyone here to hear it as my special tribute to Heath Ledger at this incredibly sad time. I am absolutely devastated by the news. We have lost an actor with integrity...a very rare thing these days. His performance as Ennis has affected me like no other in my lifetime. . I am going though my days with a lump in my throat, a pain in my heart and a whole in my spirit.
Anyway...if you’d like to listen, you can hear it uploaded on:
http://www.myspace.com/ret4 -- and it is set as the first song to auto play.
This isn't about promoting a song -- it never was from the start -- It's more about promoting change and touching hearts. I hope Heath can hear it and knows just how much his performance as Ennis has meant to so many people. He changed minds and hearts -- not to mention lives.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you’ll listen.
Loretta
http://www.myspace.com/ret4
Originally posted on an Australian site. I take it as quoted from the Heath Memorial Thread on IHJ:
------------------------------
chica says
I snatched this from an Australian blog, made me cry, and it is the most wonderful piece of work that I have ever read:
Is it right to grieve for someone never known.
Is it right to cry for someone never touched.
Is it right to mourn for someone never kissed.
Is it ok to feel sorrow for one not spoken to.
Is it ok to feel loss for one never seen.
Is it ok to be devastated for one taken from us.
Heath has a smile that makes me smile.
Heath has a voice that makes me listen.
Heath has a heart that makes me love.
For a smile I'll never see
For a voice I'll never hear
For a heart I'll never love.
For a soul so pure
And a beauty so perfect
For a talent so rare.
I'm grieving and crying
I'm mourning, feel lost.
A special heart, a good man
A knight and a legend.
Taken from us too early
When will this pain of losing you heal.
I'll miss you Heath.
Rest in Peace Sweetheart.
*CREDITS TO KARA OF UK!!!*
------------------------------
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And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always
Bon Jovi
My plates came in the mail today. I braved the below freezing weather and hurricane force winds to put them on my car. Here's a crappy phone pic:
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Excuse my dirty car. It's been snowy.
Our dear friend and oldtime member Jennis asks me to post these banners that she made in Heath's memory:
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Thanks Jennis.
mikele, thank you for these beautiful words. I took the liberty to translate them with the help of Google Translate, to share them with our friends. Please forgive me if I mangled any words, and please correct me.Merci, mon ami.
Alors, ce jour là, j'ai compris que même le soleil avait perdu son éclat, que plus rien ne serait comme avant; la douceur de ton visage si chère à mon coeur paraissait déjà s'estomper, tout ce qui m'entourait n'avait plus d'importance. J'aurais voulu crier mon désespoir à en perdre la voix, à tarir la source de mes larmes au vent des montagnes, mais pourtant, c'est à chaque fois qu'une image douce et furtive du passé s'emparait de ma mémoire. Un sentiment d'une infinie solitude me submerge chaque jour, à chaque instant, mais tout le meilleur de toi est ancré en moi, comme soudé à jamais en mon coeur. Je sais maintenant que tu es à mes côtés Ennis, que lorsque je tombe à genoux tu es là pour me relever, et ton souffle, l'odeur de ta peau, tes caresses, je les ressens encore; j'entends parfois ta voix comme une brise courrir des sommets jusqu'aux plaines et s'engouffrer dans mon âme avec une douce sensation d'amour enfin retrouvé...Ennis je serai toujours là, j'ai toujours besoin de cela,.... besoin de toi. O from that day, I realized that even the sun had lost its lustre, that nothing would be like before, the softness of your face so dear to my heart seemed already fading, everything around me no longer important. I wanted to shout my despair hoarse, let out my tears like mountain wind, but yet it is each time a fresh image of the past and furtive came upon my memory. A sense of infinite loneliness overwhelms me every day, at every moment, but the best of you is entrenched in me, and welded forever in my heart. I know now that you are at my side Ennis, I find that when you are kneeling there to get up, and your breath, the smell of your skin, your caresses, I still feel, I sometimes hear your voice as a breeze that carry from peaks to the plains and leap into my soul with a fresh feeling of love finally finding Ennis ... I will always be there, I always need that ,.... Need you.
Wow, carby, I like that license plate! I created this and stuck it in the rear window of my car:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi13.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa258%2FPier_Angeli%2Fheath.jpg&hash=0cf570f8749c296fa99ef29a5277490a6bd98b0d)
Heath,
You always gave your 'ALL'...
to every movie you made.
And it showed.
Your work in BM was one of the best I've ever seen.
It touched me deeply.
I always thought it so unfair that you did not win the oscar that year...
R.I.P. my great actor...
You will certainly be missed...
sam
I just posted this over on the fanfic thread in response to a gorgeous story written by our own Christie....but I think maybe it's equally relevant here.
The following lyrics are to a song called One Small Star, written by a singer/songwriter called Eric Bogle who was born in Peebles, Scotland but has lived in Australia for almost 40 years now. The song was actually written just after the tragic shooting at Dunblane Primary School in which 16 primary one kids and their teacher lost their lives....but it's relevant to anyone who has lost someone special.
ONE SMALL STAR (Eric Bogle)
When I need to feel you near me
I stand in this quiet place
With the silver light of countless stars
Falling on my face
Though they all shine so brightly
Somehow it comforts me to know
That some who burn the brightest died
An eternity ago
CHORUS
But your light still shines
It's one small star to guide me
And to help me hold back the dark
Your light's still shining in my heart
I'm learning how to live without you
Though I never thought I could
And even how to smile again
I never thought I would
And to cherish the heart's memories
That can bring you back to life
Though some caress me gently
And some cut me like a knife
CHORUS
Can your soul be out there somewhere
Beyond the infinity of time
I guess you've found some answers now
I'll have to wait for mine
Till my light joins with yours some day
To shine through time and space
And one day fall, in a distant age
Upon some stranger's face
Here is a song that is very near and dear to my heart, always was, always will be, and now, in light of current events, the song seemed to have somehow made an even greater impact....as if it had more meaning to it now.
Cat Stevens, Oh Very Young
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your daddy's best jeans
Denim blue fading up to the sky
And though you want them to last forever
You know they never will
You know they never will
And the patches make the goodbye harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
There'll never be a better chance to change your mind
And if you want this world to see a better day
Will you carry the words of love with you
Will you ride the great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last forever
You know you never will
You know you never will
And the goodbye makes the journey harder still
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth for a short while
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
And another one that is, in my opinion, a marvelous and tremendous song about human emotions and the way we SHOULD cope with them. A person over at IHJ said that if she were Jake, she couldn't finish filming the movie 'Brothers' because she would be in complete emotional turmoil the whole time, and then stated the following: 'I'm not a strong person'. This is what I told her:
'It has absolutely nothing to do with being strong and everything to do with being- human!
but while we're on the subject, a strong person is one that is capable of recognizing his or her emotions and willing to experience them to the end. a 'weak' person is one that tries to hide the truth from him/herself because he/she is afraid of letting emotions take over. so I think that allowing yourself to experience grief ( among other things ) to the fullest makes you ( as in people in general ) very courageous.
so you see, you ARE a strong person.
And that's the message I want to sent out to you guys! You are all SUCH STRONG people! Emotions are strengths, not weaknesses, emotions are the things that define us, tell us who we are and most importantly- tell us we are alive and that we are capable of simply being- human.
So here is the song I mentioned, it's Cat Stevens yet again, he's SUCH an inspiring singer/songwriter and human being:
Don't be shy
Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by
You know love is better than a song
Love is where all of us belong
So don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
You're there
Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by, on by, on by, on by, etc.
I hope this little contribution of mine will be of some help, if even a tiny bit!
I love all of you guys, you are such amazing people, capable of SUCH deep emotions that being in your presence ( even if not physically ) gives me a great sense of pride and honour
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi125.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fp62%2FVicka456%2FStars%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FHeathLedger6.jpg&hash=b4946cdae536c3f084f35d0155c27ec03191b237)
Oh very young....
...Heath, I swear!
Good morning, All. Like everyone else here, I've been struggling to process my feelings during the last ten days, and am still uncertain how to proceed. Everyone deals with tragedy in individual ways, and my way has always been intensely private, and, at my age, I don't think that's going to change now. But during my silences, I have found occasional bits of verse or prose that offer some measure of comfort, although I'm not always sure why.
At any rate, I came across this poem in one of my dilapidated, well-used books of Sara Teasdale's work, and found it gave me a bit of solace in an indirect sort of way. so I thought I'd share it here.There Will Be Stars
by Sara Teasdale
There will be stars over the place forever;
Though the house we loved and the street we loved are lost,
Every time the earth circles her orbit
On the night the autumn equinox is crossed,
Two stars we knew, poised on the peak of midnight
Will reach their zenith; stillness will be deep;
There will be stars over the place forever;
There will be stars forever, while we sleep.
Hope it offers some comfort for all of you as well.
CYN
Here's another poem, this time by William Butler Yeats. I read it at the funeral service for my dearest friend a few years ago. I know he would approve of its being read for Heath:
He Reaches for the Cloths of Heaven
Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
William Butler Yeats
My new Heath candle, the last one burnt down yesterday. There will always be a candle at this place from now on, and when I move, it'll get a good place again.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0273.jpg&hash=ab923c8d031dae6e5117c19580ed6d63d15bdf75)
I remember this pic on display at the art gallery - by Karen Catt
and would like to post it in remembrance of Heath.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg163.imageshack.us%2Fimg163%2F3446%2Fledgercattnb1.jpg&hash=46fbf3b4ba7c43a8b7991111bb34c5b8cd959b8e) (http://imageshack.us)
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
from: the Prophet
Kahlil Gibran
Idea of Beauty
Shy, he stepped off into the cornfield. I could see
his back muscles under the damp shirt quiver and go slack.
Turning again to face the shade, he smiled at me, not
squinted, smiled, and finished tugging shut his fly.
Now, when the cornstalks in the night wind slide
like fire, I see him. He steps closer in my dream.
I don't know, where he sleeps, if sleep refreshes him,
but here it works me like hot metal over a flame.
MELEAGROS, 3rd century B.C.E.
Confidentiel
A beautiful song written by Jean-Jaques Goldman in 1985 for a close friend who had died ten years earlier. It is in French and sung "at dirge slowness". A beautiful video done with it two years ago by Cybella as Ennis remembers Jack. It can now be easily seen as us remembering Heath.
The French:
Je voulais simplement te dire
Que ton visage et ton sourire
Resteront près de moi, sur mon chemin
Te dire que c'était pour de vrai
Tout c'qu'on s'est dit, tout c'qu'on a fait
Qu'c'était pas pour de faux, que c'était bien
Faut surtout jamais regretter
Même si ça fait mal, c'est gagné
Tous ces moments, tous ces mêmes matins
J'vais pas te dire qu'faut pas pleurer
Y'a vraiment pas d'quoi s'en priver
Et tout c'qu'on n'a pas loupé, le valait bien
Peut-être on se retrouvera
Peut-être que peut-être pas
Mais sache qu'ici bas, je suis là
ça restera comme une lumière
Qui m'tiendra chaud dans mes hivers
Un petit feu de toi qui s'éteint pas
A (possibly poor) translation for those of us who are linguistically challenged, corrections welcomed:
I wanted simply to say to you,
that your face and your smile,
will remain by me, on my way.
To tell you that it was truth,
All that was said, all that was done,
that it was not false, that it was good.
Above all, never regret,
Even if it hurt, it was gain,
For all the moments, of all the same mornings.
I don't want to tell you not to cry,
truly, we don't want to turn our backs on anything,
everything we didn't miss out on was well worth it.
Perhaps we'll see each other again,
maybe, maybe not,
but know that I am here.
There will remain like a light,
that will keep me warm in my winters,
a little fire of you which will not go out.
Watch the very moving video at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5IDMoEtlrc
It's Another You Day ... Written by Julia Fordham & Gary Clark
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi70.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi112%2Froconner%2Ffence.jpg&hash=ec6835dd235284f27767b30f25c7a44c79ccac70)
It's another you day
It's another you day
There you are
At the bus stop by the car
You're the music on my radio
And I can't turn you down
You're the driver on the ghost train
That's pulling me around
You are the traffic
You are everywhere
It's another you day
It's another you day
There you are
By the bandstand in the park
You're the star in every picture
And I'm so unrehearsed
I see you in the mirror
I see myself reversed
You are a vision
You are everywhere
It's another you day
It's another you day
There you are
In my bedroom in the dark
I still think about you
All the time
You're always on my mind
That's okay
It's just another you day
It's another you day
It's another you day
There you are
At the bus stop by the car
It's another you day
It's another you day
There you are
By the bandstand in the park
There you are
In my bedroom in the dark
It's another you day
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2FJJ.jpg&hash=851248b21f87a1a93dfa2392b39e8453d0dfb4c0)
Rhyme XXIII
For a glance: the world;
For a smile: the heavens;
For a kiss...I don't know
What I'd give for a kiss!
GAB
Few words I have written last year, and dedicaced to Heath and Lancecowboy2007Chaque nuit mes yeux te cherchent dans le noir.
Ils ne te trouvent pas puisque tu n'es plus là. Le reflet de la lune donne à ce qui m'entoure une atmosphère irréelle. Ils me semblent si lointains ces jours où tu dormais à mes côtés, si lumineux, et pourtant leur éclat s'est estompé avec ton absence.
Doucement mes yeux se ferment sur ces jours anciens, et comme par magie mon esprit glisse vers toi.
Et puis, quelque part, ailleurs dans le souvenir, je sens à nouveau ton amour transfigurer mon âme, je sais qu'à mon réveil je serais comblé puisque cette nuit, il m'aura encore semblé que tu étais là, juste pour moi.
Each night my eyes look for you in the dark.
They don't found your face, cause you're not there. The glint of the moon shows all around me an unreal moment. They seems so far those days when you sleep next to me, so radian, and yet their brightness have stop to fade in your absence.
Slowly my eyes closeto this ancient days, and as if by magic my spirit moves to you.
And then, somewhere, elsewhere into memories, I feel again your love transforme my soul by happyness, and I know when I wake up I'll be fill with joy because this night seemed to me you was there, juste for me.
You guys are all amazing. I've been reading through as much as I can (been having computer problems the last couple days) and all the tributes, song lyrics, poems -- everything is so beautiful that I can't stop the tears.
ksxks, rosie and no reins -- thank you all SO MUCH for listening to "Jack, I Swear" and for your wonderful comments. Those words from my heart have only one wish...and that is to touch others. I never thought I would be posting them anywhere under such circumstances.
I promised myself that after I had the demo recorded I was going to send a copy to Heath, as a thank you for bringing the part of Ennis to life so beautifully and sensitively -- and as a result, changing minds, hearts and lives. I kept procrastinating about looking into an address to send it to...and now I'll never have the chance again. But I have reached you guys and for that I will always be grateful.
No Reins -- I've never had any of my lyrics quoted before! You have no idea how much that warmed my heart.
ksxks -- you asked if I would post the lyrics here, so here you go...
"Jack, I Swear"
The subtle trace of breeze upon my face,
The sound of crackling embers as they fade,
The biting cold that rips my weakened heart,
The words catch in my throat, too long delayed.
I feel the breath of whispered words so near,
They comfort through the thin cold mountain the air.
That time of fear and longing intertwined…
Just for one sweet moment more - I swear.
Chorus:
When day is done I lie upon my bed,
Each lonely night, the same repeated prayer
To meet you once again in twilight sleep.
For just one single dream of you – I swear
To say I’d give my life is not enough,
This weathered weary heart’s not worth a dime.
The tragic truth will haunt me all my days,
I’ll bear the cross of blame that’s surely mine.
And as I slowly wake to morning rain,
I taste the tears still wet upon my face.
So desperate to reclaim my restless sleep,
Unwilling to release your sweet embrace.
Chorus:
But yes, the cold gray morning always finds me,
It knows not of my dreams and doesn’t care,
And so I rise to face the life I’ve chosen.
But oh, things would be different, Jack…I swear.
The world would be so different, I swear.
If any of you have a myspace, I would love to add you as a friend on mine. http://www.myspace.com/ret4
Thanks for being here.
Loretta
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fnl.jpg&hash=4a06f7ef17133036f7fbc6fe891286a5da5ca935) (http://ennisjack.com/index.php?topic=4671.msg680388#msg680388)
My pain is beginning to calm down a bit. I mean I don't burst into tears every time I see a picture of Heath or read an article about him. I can't watch his 'serious' movies; instead I have been able to watch Casanova smiling through tears.
What you - each one of you - have written in this forum has been a great comfort to me! Because English is not my own language, I don't find the words I would like to say to express myself properly, and the other hand I'm a person with few words. So reading your posts have been very important to me, a channel through which I have found just the words and expressions I have needed.
I love you Brokies! We must take care of each others and ourselves to get through this. I think it will never be totally through, it remains to be a part of us eternally. Heath will live inside us forever.
:ghug:
Believe it or not, I quoted Heath's words 'cause I knew that it would be special for you, and, of course, it was so special for me. I saved more Heath's words long time ago, 'cause I wanted to quote them in some threads like "Was Ennis gay?". Now, I don't know...
I want to share with you and all brokies friends some Heath's words that remind me of some words you said about labels. He was so sweet and wiser saying this:
"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."
"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."
"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."
"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."
Take care, friend. Love you. Think about you a lot. :ghug:
He Was a Friend Of Mine . . .
Many have recently written about the pain of now watching BBM. My pain isn’t now during the film, Heath does such a great job, to me it’s still ENNIS up there on the screen. The tough time comes later . . . during the credits.
When Wille begins singing He Was Friend of Mine . . and then, right in sync with his words“Everytime I think of him, I just can’t keep from crying” . .H E A T H L E D G E R
appears alone on the black screen. It’s just too much.
The remaining lyrics of the song seem so incredibly poignant now, I will never, ever, hear that song without thinking now not of Jack, but Heath.
He was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
Every time I think of him
I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause he was a friend of mine
He died on the road
He died on the road
Just keeped on movin’
Never reaped what he could sow
And he was a friend of mine
I stole away and cried
I stole away and cried
Never had too much money
Never been quite satisfied
And he was a friend of mine
He never done no wrong
He never done no wrong
A thousand miles from home
And he never harmed no one
And he was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
Every time I hear his name Lord
I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause he was a friend of mine.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis%2Fsand.jpg&hash=b1ff7f34c97b026980d23eb88e556cb032f6f0ed)
Thank God. The report is in, you made a simple human mistake.
Your body (which magically served you so well) is at rest, at home, in your beloved Australia.
Your spirit is now truly free to fly forever in your work and in the minds of men everywhere.
(Thanks again Cham for this very beautiful photo)
I see there's a lot of new stuff here...I've glanced quickly, but I'm unable to read, honest, I don't wanna know too much.
However, I've been reading the tribute compilation thread, thanks Chameau for gathering all that beauty, and everyone for your inputs. I much rather tributes than information right now. My grain of sand...excuse my mistakes.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis%2Fsand.jpg&hash=b1ff7f34c97b026980d23eb88e556cb032f6f0ed)
Little boy lost
twinkling trembling star,
trying to skip black holes,
you have orbited too far...
Some say: did he just get blind?
I've been following your trail,
of your gloomy gleaming smile,
it has led me to the shore
now I wonder where you are...
Some say you have just drowned
Lovelorn early bird
flapped his wounded wings,
flew too soon, too high,
couldn't get into the swing
Some say you just nose dived
No matter how high they scream
that you've hurled yourself to void,
that you've vanished into nothingness,
that you're under cold damp soil...
You are breeze that passes brushing,
crashing waves that softly rock,
a sun ray when sky is smiling…
You’re the thorn that grazed my heart.
*Thanks for the pic Chameau, it's haunting, couldn't help borrow it
I don't know about other people but I certainly believe death is just crossing on another "side". Like a two way mirror.
We can't see them, but they can see us. I am not surprised Ang Lee talks about Heath in the present tense.
When I saw his latest music clips I understood, he was fascinated by dimensions.
White/black, light/dark, liquid/solid... I really want to see Drake's clip... it must be fascinating, as much as I could make off of what they showed, he not only covered the line between life and death but he captured Drake’s struggle between living and dying.
The prim plan of his somber face on a Merry-go-round (could see the person’s mind already gone) vs. the spinning (twister) background (life still goes on weather you’re here or not). Heath and Drake’s minds were too fast for the pace the world was going for them.
As the newscaster said the clip was “disturbing”… which at this point I really don’t care for their opinion. The clip must be a work of art.
These are the clips Heath directed… (thanks to Caroline for posting them on LJ)
http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/bh_reason.html (http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/bh_reason.html)
http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/benharper_morning.html (http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/benharper_morning.html)
http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/nfa.html (http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/nfa.html)
http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/nfa_seduction.html (http://www.wearethemasses.com/musicvideos/nfa_seduction.html)
I have something to share with you,
Today I looked up my calendar for some appointment and I saw the day 22 of January was marked in red, it's the holiday of : Tu Bishvat. I was to devastated to notice it before ...
Tu Bishvat is a Jewish holiday, that marks the "New Year of the Trees" Customs include planting trees and eating dried fruits and nuts. In Israel, the flowering of the almond tree, which grows wild around the country, coincides with Tu Bishvat.
I find it very significant as we usually plant trees on this day(over a million Israelis now take part in the tree-planting activities organized every year on Tu Bishvat., mostly children from schools do it this days)
I was thinking, new planted tree....many of them on that particular day, it made me feel a little better...
I for one like to think that one of those was for our boy, Heath.
Finally had the dream that I knew would be coming for 2 1/2 weeks now. The Heath dream. It started off sad. I was in a random hallway crying, about him I am sure when he walks out of a door like nothing ever happened. He noticed I was crying, came over and asked what was wrong. I didn't say anything at first, but eventually I pointed at him and said "You." He looked a little different, shorter/lighter hair kind of how he looked in early 2006.
Then I asked him if I could touch his hair. I always loved his hair so I'm sure that's why that came up in the dream. He let me, he smiled and then I asked him "Will you please give me strength?" he nodded, said yes, and then I answered back with something like "I'm trying really hard but I might need help sometimes." After that he said he had to go so he got up and started to leave, gave me a wave and I said "Goodbye, Heath." Then he was gone.
I woke up immediately and wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or smile so I just stared at the ceiling for little bit replaying it in my head.
Hello Brokies :^^)
I cannot believe that tomorrow or later today (in NY) is Heath's funeral. I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks, maybe more, since he passed. I wish that I could do some tribute tonight honoring him at around the same time as they are in Aus. but sadely, I'm so busy today.
My drama club is showing our play for the 2nd time tonight called "Camelot". Just before I wrote this I sent a prayer and a kiss. I hope that will do for now.
Oh Heath, it is so hard sometimes to realize that you are gone. I savoir every time you are on TV and smile when your smile lights up the room and yet my smile goes away soon after, knowing I will never be able to see that smile again. It is difficult but I always have to remember all that you've done on your time on Earth and how lucky Heaven is, to have an angel like you... #)
:ghug:
Lis
This song popped into my head today- it's from the Lord of the Rings at the end of the trilogy. It normally makes cry at the end of the movie and today it took on a whole new meaning. I'm listening to it now. :\'( And I love this picture- I'm a fan of more candid shots- looks almost like a moment caught between a smile and a laugh.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2F006CND_Heath_Ledger_038.jpg&hash=c60afaa58b83b18228b5128abafae15d580678a8)"Into The West"
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You’ve come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping
[Chorus]
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say: «We have come now to the end»
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
[Chorus]
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi109.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn46%2FeLeMeNtAl_gOdS_3%2Ffuneral.jpg&hash=687972a4efd14d9c7a0ca6b3d31abd9d5ddee960)
Lastely, they (the medical examiners) let you rest in peace, farewell little darlin
I let a balloon for Heath fly today..
Just a gesture, as we here in Germany had not had the opportunity to lay down flowers for him, and especially because it's still impossible for me to find any appropriate words to express my feelings.
.. I'm just sending up a prayer of THANKS.
Farewell, Heath. I miss you.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0266.jpg&hash=fa0ddea86b490b5e72ad3f2742880831e6559de8)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0269.jpg&hash=f571ad36b3d2e0dcff60a7b3a5376abfb81498b0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0271.jpg&hash=f08490509a01bbc08259c9a5ea20fca715f111da)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0273-1.jpg&hash=fcd31a3e5be6326af5dfafdd099b7bc14b4327b4)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0274.jpg&hash=064e49957478d07a7c9d0a8ead6a9de3ea0125ca)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj145%2FHanna-123%2FIMAG0275.jpg&hash=74aa71093a17306de1621fa05ec61278b859cc72)
I looked into the sky until I couldn't see the balloon anymore. And I'm so glad we had such a great weather today; it felt so peaceful.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa318%2Fgschaller%2Fglitter.jpg&hash=c2db297585ee425b34f7596cac3d7c07277ae040)
Now you are a star which will always shine in the sky. A star for eternity : I swear...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2FHeath%2F000123Heath.jpg&hash=3fb37662122a27113034d66b69af89db8b61a4c8)
Today, our boy was finally RIP :\'(
TO HEATH:
You had the gift of happiness,
The unrelenting grace
To see the radiance of life
Within the ruthless face.
It wasn't pure naivete
Or something just not there,
Or, even worse, an inner lie
That said you didn't care.
It was a certain blessedness
Attained by very few
That let you live within a love
Within the love in you.
Copyright by Nicholas Gordon
I keep thinking of the poem that John Hannah recited at the funeral in Four Weddings and a Funeral:
W. H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
RIP Heath. You will be missed.
Tns ....
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2FJJ1.jpg%3Ft%3D1202759059&hash=1364d43e7779255315be7b52ae61923c2c21f944)
Tonight the moon's as pretty as a brand new rose
And nosey stars, they seem to know where everybody goes
As poets reach for words with broken motel pens
Here's something to hold on to 'til I come home again
Out here the days they don't have names they've got numbers
And the nights just seem to fade into each other
Jilted lovers are like fireflies, each one with a spark
Trying to fill the hole where once there was a heart
I'm sending postcards from the wasteland
Following my headlights down the highway in the dark
I'm sending postcards from the wasteland
Postmarked from the state of my heart
In care of wherever you are
Postcards from the wasteland
Now before the summer sun gets chased away
And all of our tomorrows turn to yesterdays
I'm going to build you that castle
I'm going to write you that song
I've got to find the words to say
Until I hold you in my arms
I'm sending postcard from the wasteland
Following my headlights down the highway in the dark
I'm sending postcards from the wasteland
Postmarked from the state of my heart
In care of wherever you are
Postcards from the wasteland
Tonight I'll meet you in my dreams
See you soon
Love,
Me
I posted this poem (by an unknown author) in the candle thread already, but only in German. I wasn't sure if I was able to do a acceptable translation, but fortunately Andrew did one, ans it's quite good :)
Thank you again! :ghug:
Meeresblick
Denk dir ein Bild. Weites Meer.
Ein Segelschiff setzt seine weißen Segel
und gleitet hinaus in die offene See.
Du siehst, wie es kleiner und kleiner wird.
Wo Wasser und Himmel sich treffen, verschwindet es.
Da sagt jemand: Nun ist es gegangen.
Ein anderer sagt: Es kommt.
Der Tod ist ein Horizont,
und ein Horizont ist nichts anderes,
als die Grenze unseres Sehens.
Wenn wir um einen Menschen trauern,
freuen sich andere,
ihn hinter der Grenze wiederzusehen.Oceanview
Think you a picture. Wide sea.
A sailing ship sets its white sails
And slips out into the open sea.
You see how it gets smaller and smaller.
Where water and sky meet, it disappears.
As someone says: Now it is gone.
Another says, it comes.
The death is a horizon,
And a horizon is nothing more,
Than the limit of our sight.
If we grieve for a man,
Others are pleased
to see him behind the border again.
Three weeks without you.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2Fcandle.jpg&hash=ca88452f02f53b655f3ea839d65d4c31db3ff94b) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2Fcandle.jpg&hash=ca88452f02f53b655f3ea839d65d4c31db3ff94b) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2Fcandle.jpg&hash=ca88452f02f53b655f3ea839d65d4c31db3ff94b)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FCandy%2FCandyTorontoPhotoshoot27.jpg&hash=8d6f994d38b49294d04e65d3ebb111420e94bdbb)
I thought I was doing okay...... :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2FBrokeback%2520Mountain%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fx2ym5.jpg&hash=4e9db0b5286642ca4d09364da77a4affb1ce33b3)
Time To Say Goodbyehttp://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=DoPD8uwDwYI(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg174.imageshack.us%2Fimg174%2F1954%2Fbougiegh9.gif&hash=239b05ef72358ed60bfcd2e84f72ef8e9a19e6a7) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg408.imageshack.us%2Fimg408%2F5640%2Fmirisignzo6.jpg&hash=a5521e3cc14816fdb2bc55bec038e012bf534432) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg174.imageshack.us%2Fimg174%2F1954%2Fbougiegh9.gif&hash=239b05ef72358ed60bfcd2e84f72ef8e9a19e6a7)Farewell little angel....
I recieved it in mail today and immediatly thought .about..HEATH...
I would rather have one rose and a kind
Word
From
A friend while I'm here
Than
A whole truck load when I'm gone ..
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2FHeath%2FFFsnap-89131.png&hash=ab445cf0f05e2491793b7a39e44aadd8535ee27f)
FOR YOU
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fflowerfu3.jpg&hash=1e5dda450e6488a9ad44d6c9b49819f6acccfbf9)
Happiness keeps you
Sweet,
Trials keep you
Strong,
Sorrows keep you
Human,
Failures keep you
Humble,
Success keeps you
Glowing.
:ghug: :ghug: everyone.
I agree mpj, better to share these things than to worry about overposting. It's been comforting, even while I cry, to see the videos and poems, and just to read your thoughts and feelings, over the last few weeks. It's a true celebration both of Heath and of our ties here.
I found this poem written by a poster over at imdb and just wanted to share it here. By CrowBat2005. Whoever you are, it's a beautiful poem that expresses what I'm sure a lot of us are feeling.The Thought of You
It hurts as much as the first time
It feels like the first day
Each and every thought of you
Makes my smiles turn to dismay
Your name, your face, your voice,
Used to sweep me off my feet
Now each and every thought of you
Brings me to my knees
I shake it from my mind
So positive thoughts can surface
It was an honor for the earth to bear you
Your life had its own purpose
You had love and care
Which you both gave and received
Humble, quiet, friendly
Such beauty is hard to believe
Suddenly, true words fill my mind
I feel the emptiness of my heart
And once again the thought of you
Makes me feel the earth's mourning of such an art
When your absence slips my mind
I live in blissful ignorance
Then the very thought of you
Shoots reality into existence
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2Fnuevo%2520jake%2F000f34hz.jpg&hash=4791fb77aed2fe91801a62b7992c8e80e26698f0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2Fnuevo%2520jake%2FthGLITTER2.gif&hash=b00c8f39c527a2280a751e41c01707021d5fd91d)
I'd die for you
I'd cry for you
I'd do anything
I'd lie for you
You know it's true
Baby I'd die for you
I'd die for you
I'd cry for you
If it came right down to me and you
You know it's true, baby I'd die for you
speaking of the pic jakelandia posted, here is a little something very near and dear to my heart:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg262.imageshack.us%2Fimg262%2F3922%2Fn1425480115259589496zg6.jpg&hash=bea90895bced24460661ff79a3cf301ed16f29e3) (http://imageshack.us)
Ok, sorry for being long-winded, but I was watching an interview with Heath and something struck me. I was looking at one of his tatoos and thinking about when he got them and such (it was an older interview, so I realized he's had that wrist one for a long time). And it just spun into the thought that if he were destined to live only 28 years, he did it just right. I mean, he did what he wanted to do, even when other people sometimes tried to tell him not to. He made his own career choices when his early management thought he should play it safe, and look at the treasure trove we have now because of that. He marked himself the way he wanted and felt comfortable with. He loved openly and enthusiastically, even when it thrust him into that spotlight he didn't like because it was with someone famous - he didn't stifle any of that to avoid discomfort. Boy, when he was in love, you knew he was in love. And he had the chance to experience what he said was the best thing in his life - being a parent. God , I just can't help thinking how right it is that he filled his life with, well, his life. Seems like it could be a great example of how to stay true to yourself and make the most of every moment. He could have molded himself differently for a lot of people or a lot of reasons, but I bet when he crossed that threshhold, he felt good about every decision he ever made. You know, it's said that you should plan for tomorrow, but live for today. I think we sometimes forget the second half of that. And sometimes worry so much about what other people might think of us that we let our best chances for our happiest moments pass us by. Geez, it's a lesson well learned from both Heath (on how to do it right) and Ennis (on how not to do it). I'm actually feeling a breath of...I don't know...fresh air or energy or something.
So I put a challenge to a friend. Let's make a deal. Do something this month just for you, something you want to do, and do it whether anyone else thinks it's a good idea or not. Look where our instinct has gotten us so far. Let's trust that and take a leap. I know, I'm probably sounding manic, but it's in my head now and I think I'm going to listen to it.
I was still crying over song lyrics this morning, but I'm going to try to keep this resolution. And when I achieve it, I'll think of Heath. :)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc126%2Flancecowboy%2Fvalentines%2FTeddiesHearts.gif&hash=635dc78fc92a5519b7e647e285653456665fc280)
Happy Valentine's Day, Heath, and Everyone.
:ghug: :ghug: :ghug:
Thanks, FlwrChild. Heath filled his life with his life, and our hearts with his love.
%) :ghug: Everyone %) :ghug:
In February light
in a
distant
riverine
biosphere
an Indian
boy flashes
ethnic butt
as he steps
out of his
wood canoe
and lifts
his flute
to his
lips
wrong,
it's only
you,
a local
sky-being
trapped in a
peach-fuzz
bathrobe,
reaching out
the kitchen
window to fill
the birdfeeder
while February
light shines
quietly upon
your super
thighs
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2Fnuevo%2520jake%2Fcr.jpg&hash=bcf95453d34add1add283296e3d3844e7abd8179)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%2Fblackwhite60.jpg&hash=9b36502ffd5e605f6f6e552dbb453c3cad62426e)
This was apparently one of Heath's favorite songs, which was also played at his memorial service. It just happens that it's one of my favorite songs too.
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war
for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
Running over the same old ground
What have you found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
(Pink Floyd)
Since this was the song that totally messed me up yesterday ("Who Knew" by Pink) I took some of the words last night and used them.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FHeath%2FWhoKnew3.jpg&hash=e32d4084ab59b7abe159e2981d34a16ac50fdd33)
I know most of you have no idea who I am, but I've been on this site for some time. Rarely do I post, except a few poems, but I wanted to say something and this seemed the thread to do it on. I came here because this little place, and it has the small warm feel to it no matter the size, which i don't even truly know, because it felt safe. Please forgive my rambling, posting is not an easy thing for me. You were touched by Jack and Ennis and the love could be felt. I felt something special here, something true. I wanted you guys to know that. I'm not easily touched, nor give freely my trust, but I surely love what I love. I've said for a long time, Heath Ledger was, is and will be a legend, a good man, part of my heart and always in my world.
jessi
I don't remember if I have put this poem already here but ...I don't remember.. :)Je respire profondément l'odeur de ta peau, mes yeux caressent ta bouche et déjà, au loin, j'entends le galop des chevaux... Chaque instant qui passe m'appartient un peu plus, chaque instant passé et tu m'appartiens plus. Tu dors encore et je vole ces instants de pleine extase où ton visage pâle et beau n'est plus qu'à moi. J'attends,
j'attends que tu ouvres enfin tes yeux azur comme une pluie d'étoiles dans la peine ombre du jour naissant; à ce moment là ton sourire me parlera et me dira à nouveau combien tu m'aimes encore, et je respirerai profondément.....
I smelt deeply the smell of your skin, I look at your mouth lovingly and now, far away, I can hear the galloping horses...Each passing time is mine a little more, each passed time you are mine more again. You still sleeping and I stole moments of full ecstasy while your pale and handsome face don’t belong to me any more. I’m waiting, I’m waiting, you open your blue eyes at last, like a rainy stars in the shadow of the new day; and then your smile will talk to me and whispering how much you still loving me, and I ‘ll smelt deeply...
Au loin, la ligne d'horizon apparaît doucement sous les brumes du matin.
Alors que j'aperçois par la petite lucarne de la chambre, le vent agiter les silhouettes d'arbres chétifs,
j'entends ton souffle se mêler à celui du vent...
Ce vent qui t'a mené jusqu'à moi
et qui un jour peut-être t'éloignera à nouveau.
Aujourd'hui je vis pour toi mais je ne vis que par toi
Far, the line of the horizon appears softly under the morning mist.
Then I notice the small skylight of the bedroom, le wind ruffles the silhouettes of the stunted trees.
I hear your breath mix with the wind, this wind that has brought you to me
and which will take you away one day
today I live for you, and I only live for you.
I'm really happy you enjoy my poems Lancecowboy, as soon as I'll do one other, I speak about wind into the next...
Now one other, you can modify the translation.Doucement comme le matin glisse vers la nuit,
doucement tu reviens à moi sans un bruit.
Au loin la lumière de la lune se reflète dans les voiles des nuages et cette lueur dans tes yeux illumine toute mon âme. Ce temps qui passe semble pourtant me séparer de toi un peu.
Dans un silence inhabituel, serré contre toi, je sens mon coeur te crier son amour jusqu'à
l' épuisement parce que je doute et je m'égares.
Oh mon amour, brise de mes jours, éclaire mon chemin
Slowly the morning drift off to the night
slowly you come back to me without sound.
Far away, the moonlight is reflected into the cloud's sails and this light into your eyes is illuminating all my soul. This passing time seems though to split up with you more.
With an unusuel silence, huddled to me, I feel my heart to shout my love so far as to hexaustion because I doubt and I'm loosing.
Oh my love, breeze of my days, light the way to me
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2Fnuevo%2520jake%2Fanimation2pi5.gif&hash=e3523557684dc4f266900573335602462185bd75)
Why do I try
To reach my past again
To bring my memories
To reach again your love for me
To call love for my heart
But it's frozen
It can't feel anything
Because you left me
And now is close
Close for everyone
Give me the light
To break up this cold
Is so cold inside
So cold inside of me
I choose my way
My way to keep alive
Far away from you
From all your memories
To stay alone
Alone in this cold
Cold of my Heart.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh189%2Floganamour%2FJAKE%2Fnuevo%2520jake%2F181.jpg&hash=c269f258d359bf69190150d6678d22db9f3844a0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2Fcusl01_heath0008.jpg&hash=733f45248d449e66833539200d0c1cd7f07b575f)
In Case
In case I forget to cry,
believe myself moved on
or an hour pass me by
without his smile,
voice,
sweet song,
music,
such joy of belonging in a world,
full of him,
remind me,
gentle, sweetly,
how it hurts to remember
so far less
than to forget.
jessi
"Take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face."
Phil Colins
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2F105edit.jpg&hash=c0f4dc2e44ba155269764f6728c5f519423dd00a)
And mountain moans with new morning.
Sun rises, for it must,
cold light through sky of crystal tears,
rainbow,
a bridge, here and there,
here and forever.
jessi
I thought I was over the sadness, the mourning,
then I read the New York Magazine article.
It is the kind of honest raw to the bone writing
that made Annie Proulx's short story stand out.
It is the kind of lyrical masterpiece to detail
that made Ang Lee's movie so memorable.
It is the kind of in-your-face, nothing too sacred search for the truth that was Heath.
What can I say?
Except tears and pain of loss,
tears and regrets for words unsaid,
tears and emptiness from the hole of missing Heath.
We put you on a pedestal too high,
even for you who had wings to touch the sky.
We put you in a league all your own,
and forgot how lonely that can be.
We trusted you to tell us what you want,
and never realized we didn't listen,
didn't want to hear the truth.
Finding the truth is not so easy.
Accepting the truth is harder still.
You wanted a normal life.
You wanted to be accepted for who you are,
not for the image, the icon, the idol
that we built you up to be.
Heath Andrew Ledger
You are truly a prince among men
And you are now free to roam the sky
free to follow the wind and waves
free to be, just you
And when you feel lonely
And when you want company
You know where to find love
You know where you will be
Accepted, just as you are
Right here. Just like this. Always.
It's been 4 WEEKS already!!!
Still I can't get over the feeling of emptiness and the thought that we never gone see his sweet face aging and maturing to a special man he was destined to be!!!!
All we had left is to see his pictures at 28 years old..
FOUR WEEKS!!!!
Damn the bitter reality of it.... How can it be true ?!!? :\'(
For you my love...
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This is one of the beautiful rendition of Heath in one of his movies.
Its is always heard in many locations and occasions here in the Philippines.
When I hear the song.. that reminds me of our beautiful Heath...
The lyrics are so meaningful to me now he is up there,,,,,
( Chorus 1 )
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off of you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. At long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off of you.
Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing
else to compare. The sight of you leaves me
weak. There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel. Please let me know
that it's real. You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off of you.
( Chorus 2)
I need you baby, if it's quite all right,
I love you baby, you warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say It's OK: Oh pretty
baby, don't let me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....
Repeat Chorus 1
[To fade]
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I love you baby, you warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: It's OK Oh pretty
baby, don't let me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I love you baby, you warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: It's OK Oh pretty
baby, don't let me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....
Hello BBM family,
this is Megalyn08, I joined you just a few days ago.
First, sorry for my defective English, please feel free to correct me if you want.
I lighted a candle for Heath to say how sorrowful I am for him. I'm sure I'll never forget that morning: January 23, exactly 4 weeks ago, my boyfriend phones me and tells:"Heard the bad news? Heath Ledger has died."
Has died?!?! Heath Ledger?!?! I'll be damned!!!! :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
Even now, after nearly a month, I have a hard time believing it, my mind just refuses it.
It was a dreadful shock for me. For 2 days I was too stunned, I wasn't even able to cry, just repeating on my mind :"It's a nightmare, isn't it? It must be a nightmare."
At the end, during the second night, I cried. I cried for Heath/Ennis, for his family, for his friends, for Michelle, for little Matilda, and for me too.
He and Jake made me feel such strong and deep emotions, he was so young and talented, he still had so much to give us through his characters......How is possible he's passed away?!?! How could be happened such a tragedy?!?!
I feel like a beloved friend of mine has died, because actually he was. Of course, in a different way than he was to his friend and family in real life, but with the same strength. He talked with us through emotions.
He was, no, he is our beloved Ennis Del Mar. He left a terrible void, although from now on there's a new star up in heaven. I'll never forget him, be sure of this.
If this tragedy had to happen, I prefer being among those who mourn him rather than among those who don't know him at all: mourning him now means that I've met him in some way (BBM and more), and I feel my own life has been blessed by having met his and Jake's path.
What does it remain of him, nothing but ashes? No, ocean isn't big enough for such a great soul.
It remains his smile, the light into his eyes, and his soul, like many little stars within the characters he played.
Miss you, cowboy.
Love from Megalyn08
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.geocities.com%2Fphilippines_first%2FHeathLedger053.jpg&hash=0f02a464227d8042ce1e5c1f89434bfa18a43388)
My Dear,
My tears and my sorrow for missing you will never bring you back to us..
But it is our heart that aches and all our sorrows remain....
I am wanting to find the reasons why you leave..
when you have our hearts and love ....
Will I ever see those smile?
Will I ever see those eyes.. those lips?
Wish I was there. to protect you and love you.
Wish I was there .
I was listening to some westlife songs and then I heard this
If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace
:\'(
A list sib on a site said, when it was suggested we move on with our BBM story discussion (which I thought was a pretty good idea) that we can put the awful incidence behind us and move on. I'm sure each person suffers loss, great or small, their own way, but I've never been able to do that, put it behind. Even my beloved pets are still in me part of me. Not being able to see and hug, talk, dear Lord talking to my sister, I'll always have tears wanting to so bad, but she is still here, part of my world. We are a sum of who we were, who we've known, where we've been... Heath is in my world, he will never be left behind but part of my whole, part of what makes the sun warm and summer nights soft. He gave me some of the best of my times, his loss wouldn't have been such a tragedy for me if his life hadn't been so rich and dear. Life sucks and this was ultimate unfair and wrong, but he was still a most treasured gift.
jessi
Rest in peace, Heath baby
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Oh yes, I went to my local cemetery yesterday and lighted a candle for Heath in the place what is meant to the candles and messages to those who are buried elsewhere. It was snowing and the day was turning to the dark in the afternoon. The place was so quiet and beautiful.
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Here there's the lyrics from a song that,I don't know why,has reminded me Heath.Perhaps,among some other reasons,because it's from a Catalan band whose singer died at a very young age and in a circumstances maybe very similar to his-he died almost on stage...-.No matter its meaning,it's another little and humble homage I'm making to both of them and all this that died when life is still a long way to walk in front of them.VIURE SENSE TU/LIVING WITHOUT YOUI've closed the door slowly
while looking at your street lights.
I like your city very much,yes,
but now don't you believe
I don't want to go away from it.
I arrived to it lost
and pursuing unknown places;
a vision captivated me
and made me feel myself
lost again into your eyes.
I've stepped the night in every tavern
and I've arrived to nobody's lands
a rising sun has made me be awake
with the promise of living without you.
:ghug: Emzan :ghug:
that is a wonderful excerpt.
I see Heath/Ennis even without closing my eyes.
Here is the lyrics to the song:
Soledad
( loneliness )
Westlife
If only you could see the tears
In the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart
Just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Walking down the streets
Of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name
Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be
Love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see
====
It's a sad song, but I think Heath can see us, and as it says above, Love will bring us back to you and me.
:ghug:
"First Fig"
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - - -
It gives a lovely light!
Edna St. Vincent Millay
a month gone quickly by,
ay, your light shines bright
Maybe this is one reason I don't get comfort where a lot do. He lives on in all he did and was and left and our celebration of him, but he can't be there for his baby, she won't really remember him. I am crushed for those close to him for they don't have heartaches, those time will heal, they have brokenhearts, perhaps I do too, and those hearts are fixed, as best as each of us can, but never ever NEVER the same. And I know his closest loved ones, for them, their hearts are shattered. His daughter's greatest loss is never knowing him. In the long run though for me it's Heath who can't have what he should have had. I ache for him, what a tragedy for him. Maybe I should leave for I know I can't give comfort. I miss for him too much. His death was so absolute wrong.
jessi
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2FBrokebackMtn12.jpg&hash=b09adcabf692737f3da81dcf76826c6f94431c80)
When all has been said,
what could be said,
never enough, words not,
not much,
tears and chokes
gasps, nothing enough,
not near,
no hugs or flowers or
sunset goodbyes,
loss far too great...
but when it's been given
all we've got
he's in our vision, acutely in our heart
stop the world,
a minute,
with an image,
seared painfully
burning moving picture,
timeless, never enough, now always
a moment,
quiet, stark pin drop
silence
when it seems all has been said
breaths are held,
cries swallowed
hearts broken
our moment of silence
all we have, our best.
Our goodbye.
jessi
2-25-08
I also am at a loss of what to do now. I came to BBM late, in December of 2006, so I missed the whole first year. Yet from the moment I first saw it, BBM has become the focus of my life, mostly through my writing and in my thoughts. I have not met any Brokies, but it has always been in my mind.
For me, BBM was about Ennis finally realizing his mistakes, and what I dreamed of was for Ennis to go on in his life in a meaningful way. Ennis shared so many of my thoughts and feelings, and I guess I always thought that if there was hope for Ennis, then there was hope for me to have the life that had always just been in my dreams.
Also, I always felt that Heath was Ennis, and shared his pain. That comforted me too somehow. But now it hurts so bad to think of how Heath really felt, but of course we don’t really know.
But now, I don’t know how to think about BBM anymore, or really any of it at all. I still think about Heath all the time, and I am still getting very sad. I haven’t watched BBM again, I don’t know when I can, I am too scared to in a way.
I don’t know how to move on from thinking about Heath, and even though I still have been writing, I don’t know what BBM means to me anymore. To me Heath is Ennis, and Ennis is Heath, and with Heath gone, then Ennis is also in many ways.
I just don’t really know how to find the hope in BBM anymore, so I really just don’t know. I am still thinking about BBM, but I am afraid none of this can never be the same anymore. I wish it could, but I just don’t think it can.
I hope it is okay that I am posting this here, but I guess I just had to get these thoughts out and this seemed like a good place to do so
M. (Cameron)
Whenever I play Eminem's song 'When I'm Gone' I can't help but think of Matilda.
The words in the chorus are most painful. :\'(
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
O day! he cannot die
when thou so fair art shining!
O Sun, in such a glorious sky,
so tranquilly declining;
He cannot leave thee now,
while fresh west winds are blowing,
and all around his youthful brow
thy cheerful light is glowing!
(...) awake, awake
the golden evening gleams
warm and bright on Arden's lake -
arouse thee from thy dreams!
Beside thee, on my knee,
my dearest friend! I pray
that thou, to cross the eternal sea,
wouldst yet one hour delay
(...)
Emily Brönte
It really is all the difference just to have this group, in this place, to come to during this time. ^f^ I feel a little bit better today, although I did shed a few tears in the car when I'm Already There came on the radio: :\'(
He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there
She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes
I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already there
~ ~ ~ ~
So it comes and it goes, but at the end of the day, he's still gone and we're still here. So I wrap up my sorrow over the first, inside of my gratitude for the second, and try to smile for everything he had while he was here and everything he gave us that we still have, and each day is a little better than the one before. Thanks to all of you for being a part of my healing process. :ghug:
Moving on doesn't mean, shouldn't mean, forgetting, more like not dwelling. Like the couple of times I've see pap stuff on michelle, going to work, taking walks with her daughter. Nothing can bring heath back, but he wouldn't want anyone who loved him to stop their life. He's part of all we are now, and I look forward to being able to enjoy his work again, even with pain. Life is much enjoyment with pain. Sometimes I'll smile or cry, or both, and like losing anyone I have loved, often caught with great surprise when it comes. He's part of my world. I have grandkids and a daughter in another state. they are always in my mind, sometimes in thought, sometimes just there. heath is always there, sometimes in thought, but part of my world made so much richer by him. Part of my pain, and what you can't fix, you stand. He has moved on, living in a place we can't be yet. He doesn't want us, no he doesn't, to stop our life, just love and remember him. Make him a good part of us, better for knowing him.
This is probably why some banners are taken down, some threads closed. But there needs to be a place to come together for those still trying to adjust to standing what is so hard to stand.
jessi
I want to believe that you are in a better place now.
I want to believe that you are happy.
I want to believe that you can see how loved you are.
I hope the sun always shines where you are.
Little Darling.
One day the sun will shine again for me too.
I will be able to be happy again.
Until then I carry you in my heart, all the time.
Paradise Lost
Steps
...............
Across the desert sands I watch a caravan
And dream it could take me to you
As the east wind blows
I shiver to my bones
Cos all I can think of is you
I still feel you here
The memories are clear
So don't go forgetting my love
How we learned to be free
How we dreamed the same dream
Now nothings what it seems
Paradise lost is a place without you
In the shadow of love there's no room with a view
Walking alone on the sand
Wish you were here again here again
Wishing you were here again
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Bruxa did this..
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Heath,no matter that narrow-minded persons didn't want even to watch BBM for a stupid political and moral (?) questions.No matter that these same reasons didn't allow you to win the Oscar for your amazing role in this movie.No matter all this,and more still everything that perhaps you have had to support during these years for portraying a man who has taught us to love without fear,to love above all the difficulties...Things that you have had to support even when you were going to receive your well-deserved homage once you'd already left us,because you had "dared" to be a gay on the screen...
No matter all these nonsenses,because long time ago you've won the Oscar for the best actor in our opinions;and what's more-and more beautiful-you´ve won forever a prize better than this one,as an actor and as a person.THE OSCAR OF OUR HEARTS. We will always love you,Ennis Del Mar.
There are so many beautiful tribute videos out there for Heath already, but I just couldn't resist doing one of my own. Once it was in my head, I knew I wouldn't get it out until I made it and got it posted. I hope you like it.
Link to download:
http://rapidshare.com/files/96573043/Heath_Ledger_Tribute.wmv.html (http://rapidshare.com/files/96573043/Heath_Ledger_Tribute.wmv.html)
photobucket link to watch (thank you LuvJackNasty :^^)):
http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e163/luvjacknasty/Misc/?action=view¤t=Heath_Ledger_Tribute.flv (http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e163/luvjacknasty/Misc/?action=view¤t=Heath_Ledger_Tribute.flv)
The quotes go by a little quickly, but I hope it still works. :)
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One second late, was too late
to stop you leaving…
and so we saw you flying high,
and so you leave our hearts bleeding,
and it hurts so damn much.
Now no tear, no blame
is gonna bring you back,
no daughter’s love, no devotion…
there’s no boat on the other side,
to sail you where you belong.
Smile love, keep smiling,
let your shine light our ways,
we are feeling adrift, but hoping,
when we reach the lastest bay,
to kiss your forehead and hold your hand
At the Vegas gathering, we paid our tribute to Heath at the Valley of Fire.
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The photo frame was from chameau, porch from kathy, and the one on the right is from LJN.
We each also placed a rock inside of the cave. Rest in peace, Heath.
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"Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on..."
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I have this painting at my home now; made after photograph, size is 60x80 cm. I haven't yet decided whether to get frames to it or on which wall to hang it.
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Hay un ángel que nos guiá
que nos toma de las manos
en momentos malos¨
de tormentos y agonia;
poseé cabellos dorados
y dulce es su mirar
su voz ... su voz es melodiosa
que da paz anuestra ansiedad.
Having an awful day for some reason. Heath seems to be everywhere here. I actually got to go to Vegas and be with the Brokies for a while. It was nice immediately because I realized that these gatherings were about Ennis and Jack, and our love for this film; and not so much about Heath and Jake. The only time Heath truly was an acknowledged part of it was when we were having the memorial that you all have seen photos from. We placed items and each our own rock within the small space and hugged and cried, and really that was the main time Heath was truly there. Otherwise it was talk of "Ennis". We weren't ignoring, just reminiscing in a positive way. But now, it's back home to reality, and back to missing Heath, and everything he gave...and it's awful. I know we didn't really know him, but the idea of him somehow filled a void in all of us, and while he's gone, that stupid void is still hanging around waiting to be filled; and the guilt that something has to fill it is almost unbearable. How do you replace someone that is so important to you? I keep trying to tell myself that there is nothing to replace; that what Heath gave us, he left on film for us to have forever, and there isn't really a point in mourning because I haven' t really lost anything I ever truly had; but that doesn't help, or make me feel any better. My computer had been broken since early January, I just got it back yesterday, and when I signed on to my internet through my main account it showed the previous sites I had gone on(before any of this happened). It was so strange to go back to a time when he was alive and see how much he was a part of my day. Though of course there were many sites and my work done on the computer, after every couple of sites was a site that somehow involved him, it was just the natural part of my day...I'm not sure where to go from here, it hurts to be so sad, but feels so guilty when I'm happy; but I'm going to choose to be happy; it's what Heath wanted for himself, I can only imagine that's why he was on so many meds...to find some sort of peace in the chaos of reality. I'm striving to achieve that peace without the prescribed help; for now you Brokies are my addiction, and I love you all :)
That is such a beautiful picture. I was messing around trying to make a BBM art
today and and here's what i came up with...it's my first one.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi57.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg235%2Foohlala1998%2Fmyfirstbbmart.jpg&hash=f18912ad81a6f1482953d1dcc03aca98af07942a)
:ghug: to everyone. I'm still having bad days but some good ones too. I took a short break from the forum and I didn't cry on those days but it came at the expense of not being a part of everything so that wasn't good. First day back I cried but I'd rather that than not be here.
I was just out shopping with my youngest-she's 8. And we had this little convo:
J: Mommy?
M: Yes
J: You know how you're sad about that guy and other people are sad too?
M: Yes Jordan
J: Well I was thinking. Could it work if you all went to his grave and cried there and all the tears of love landed and maybe they'd make him alive again and no one would be sad anymore?
I gave her a great big hug and told her that that was a beautiful idea and I wished it worked that way but it doesn't and she just said "Oh well". Sometimes I wish I was that young again, in some way immune to it all and able to hope that there was some way to make it different.
LuvJackNasty and I made this tribute vid. We hope you like it. ^f^
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IziYmwA3ago
This is one of the very few tribute vids I have kept. I let myself look at them once a day, cry, hurt, wish...then as we must, should, as the natural way in all this unnatural...I go on with my life. A better, richer, more broken person. If we can't move on with him in our heart, sometimes tears on our face, but moving on, not forgetting, but living to the fullest, letting him make that difference in us, if we can't move on, then what we give cannot be a tribute. We can't honor him if his memory destroys us, or part of us. So, I will look at your amazing beautiful vid, and very few others, later his movies, and hold him firmly and safely in my soul. I'll never forget, not even for a day.
jessi
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc126%2Flancecowboy%2Flove.jpg&hash=336f29b730f92a9770345dfcbac5026ebf1c1f9e) How they cheerfully
print the worst possible interpretation they can find
When they could just as easily
tell the truth with a little more thought
You left a will
before you reached the stars,
before you met your match
You gave to those you love the few
earthly possession that meant little
compared to your legacy
You would surely have updated it
when there was time for matrimony
And you trusted the blood relationship,
the love so obvious to everyone,
even to fools
Why people resort to the lowest form of
making a living when it's not living at all
When hurting innocent people
with thoughtless careless words
In times like these,
your noble carriage is missed most of all.
This is important to me, too, that we don't have the pleasure of seeing Heath get older -- it breaks my heart. But you said it perfectly, Barb, about wanting to see him as "old" as we're going to see him. That will be in The Imaginarium, I guess. Anyway, that is why I chose this picture of Heath (below), the picture that was in the Warner Bros. tribute, because he looks actually older than most any picture I've seen of him, and I love it. Also chose it because he's smiling. (This is the thing I left out in the Valley of Fire.)
Also, about his father. When I would see pix of him, I would add a little hair and take off the glasses, and I can see a resemblence. (And it will be interesting to see how Mathilda looks in her 20's, but a father and daughter can't quite be as similar.)
kathy
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi143.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr148%2Fksxks%2Fbbm%2FHL79-0801.jpg%3Ft%3D1205211673&hash=b1ad67cbfdb3732b256fc4790a6e5762c2330f7d)
7 weeks :\'( I made this earlier today. (poem is not mine-I found it online by anonymous)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FHeath%2Fcollage4.jpg&hash=cb1703692a499db754a083674bef9da47f30f199)
Ashes to ashes, heart to hearts,
remember him in memories,
make them,
make them what you find
through his eyes.
Make them the roles played,
not ones made for a star,
nor ones claimed to be brave,
but for stretching, reaching,
so much filling his heart,
so much to say.
Remember him as humble,
as a dad,
someone true, real, full of life.
A genius.
An old soul.
Remeber he has peace from
this world,
yet,
his spirit never gone,
never finished,
Heath was always part of forever,
and he's busy stretching,
so much to do, learning and seeing
being, for always,
for who needs sleep in heaven.
If there's one thing I'm very happy we did during the whole weekend we met in Las Vegas, It's the little tribute we made for Heath in the Valley of Fire and the shrine we left behind.
We were looking for a cave with a view
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0445.jpg&hash=dd0133533792a03bfed8e727c7b703f4b9b3e9e0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0437.jpg&hash=c553e58fe6e2736af424dccde730c682526d3084)
This is the view from the cave
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0440.jpg&hash=ccd32122890c2bd96ab3c313f218a1cbf3dbd827)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0439.jpg&hash=2239ffe40174a00ba7acf654fdbf601ec500a014)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0438.jpg&hash=8a14abf261078e14a8f911622c4594be89dce37b)
Huh, have tissues ready... :-\\
Click on the picture to view the video
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2Fth_tribute3.jpg&hash=0ce651a7560af2acfcf7393095ec1e3f6fdc66e6) (http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h137/chameau_7/Las%20Vegas/?action=view¤t=tribute3.flv)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FDSCN0442.jpg&hash=22e3e2f5007584f85df6c46540ce1732950a95c9)
The details of the tributes we left, Kathy already posted this oneHere is what I made and wrapped in denim, tied with leather lacing. The image is under glass, framed with the leather lacing, mounted on leather.
kathy
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi143.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr148%2Fksxks%2Fbbm%2FHL79-0801.jpg%3Ft%3D1204666365&hash=69ed003eab2aa51f9ddd4e41729f3dbc2b6ebcf0)
Michelle's tribute in detail, this is the one Thomas read on the video
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FLas%2520Vegas%2FHLTrib5x7-1.jpg&hash=b96a82d08da564ce139778521e2888134bfdd2bd)
My frame in details
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Rest in Peace Cowboy
Can't even describe what I felt seeing this video.
Suddenly I realized he had become a LEGEND… and no legend has ever died.
Yes, he was a Hollywood Star... but for me, who he really was in life, it is all that matters.
The more I read about this man, it makes me think we could have been perfect copies. As I am looking in a mirror of my life lived by him. Is not the profession he had, but how he lived his entire life.
It took about 3 days before his death hit me really hard.
I can't say that I knew Heath, yet there is this power that hovers over me and I have no idea why. It makes me feel as I am supposed to do something, and I don't have a clue.
I wake up in the morning, and my mind start winding from one memory to another connecting every move I make, with Heath.
It's not like I need a life… I do have one, and a pretty busy one; I don't sit and sulk all day doing nothing but thinking of him, and I can't say I am depressed either.
But I feel, in death he became this power of millions of particles, touching every one of us.
I have grieved before, no one knew my pain because no one knew the person I've lost.
Why Heath has this effect on me? Why the pain of "losing" Heath is greater than the other?
I am a very rational person, yet I can't find any plausible explanation. %&)
FlwrChild and LuvJackNasty... thank you.
I haven't posted on here. I guess I don't have many words to say, no words I could express, to know such a loss. To lose such a beautiful, senetive, loving man... :\'(
Well, this is a song with a Heath photo montage on Heath. I don't think I've posted it on here b4 but this song always gets to me!! I cried when watching this vid. right after Heath passed...The weird thing about this song and vid. is the person made this 2 years ago for a school project..I don't they knew the heart-wrenching truth of this song years later..
I turn the page
My story ends
I say goodbye to all my friends
I know it's getting late
Now the light is on my face
I changed the clocks back again
And ask forgiveness for my sins
Cause I don't know where I'll go
Well this is all that I really know
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep singing my song
It gets me through it
I've got the scars to prove it
Well I know the road is long
But I'm staying strong
So don't cry
Cause this is not my last goodbye
I'm finding out the hardest way
You learn before you fall from grace
In shadows we can grow
We are the seeds we sow
Through every single hour fades
From sand to stone and rock to clay
It's bittersweet this symphony
Enjoy the gift that's given to you and me
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep singing my song
It gets me through it
I've got the scars to prove it
Well I know the road is long
But I'm staying strong
So don't cry
Cause this is not my last goodbye
The red rain is pouring down
And now my feet don't touch the ground
I'm lost between the stars and moons
I will see you soon
I turn the page
My story ends
I say goodbye to all my friends
I know it's getting late
Now the light is on my face
I changed the clocks back again
And ask forgiveness for my sins
Cause I don't know where I'll go
Well this is all that I really know
I'll keep holding on
I'll keep singing my song
It gets me through it
I've got the scars to prove it
Well I know the road is long
But I'm staying strong
So don't cry
Cause this is not my last goodbye
Let me play for you
Let this heart ring true
One more time
Just one more time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lviniZwpQPE
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi273.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fjj215%2Fhareeexxx%2Fstars.jpg&hash=df5dca2cfbdbddf1f27459cfd7f651407d14c89f)ALREADY TWO MONTHS...BUT IT'S LIKE AN ETERNITY
well heath youve been gone two months now and things aren't really setting in yet, pretty sure they never will.
well i suppose what we are doing is just trying to get on with the norm as much as possible figured thats what you'd you'd want, right?
anyway its your birthday pretty soon dont really know what to with it if i find the room i guess i'll plant a tree or something.
well i cant think of much else to say, bye looking forward to seeing you again some day.
I was listening to music and i heard thisIm already there
Take a look around
Im the sunshine in your hair
Im the shadow on the ground
Im the whisper in the wind
Im your imaginary friend
And I know Im in your prayers
Oh Im already there
and i thought about Heath, hes the sunshine in our hair, the shadow on the ground and he will never leave us
I love that song <^(
I really is such a sweet but sad song
I can understand why you would think of Heath in this song :\'( :\'(
Another song that always gets me too is Slipped Away by Avirl Lavinge :-\\
I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found
It won't be the same
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by
I was in Tokyo last week and left a prayer for Heath at Meiji Shrine on behalf of ennisjack. It is hard to believe that it has been two months.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2Ftwn%2FIMG_4361a.jpg&hash=f226836ccb5af7000f43013d3d88d094714ad657)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2Ftwn%2FIMG_4360a.jpg&hash=aeb4ccdd5cb770b7b3c9be5e6b72494877e65f53)
here is a song that reminds me alot of heath i thought i could post it called "slipped away" by avril lavigne
Avril Lavigne "Slipped Away"
Album: "Under My Skin"
Copyright by RCA Records
Lyrics:
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you
They are really lovely lyrics Matt, and really appropriate I think. ^f^
I hear songs all the time that remind me of Heath and how I feel about him and what has happened. One song haunts me - "Picture in a Frame" by Ben Harper, who was a personal friend of Heath's, so the lyrics have even greater meaning now.
Now I wish you were here
So we could walk and talk
In the soft rain, in the soft rain
Now all that left of us
Is a picture sitting in a frame
I think it was about this time 9 weeks ago that I heard the news, and I remember the numb feeling like it was yesterday. Today is harder than usual, it being my brother's birthday...he died young too, like Heath. :\'( :\'( :\'(
:ghug: To everyone. Today I had a mini meet in NY with Ethan and another member, Ben. I won't go into too much detail because this is not the thread for it. But I had my first opportunity to see and touch Heath's pajamas. :\'( Ethan and I took a walk to Washington Square Park and we went by the chess area and I asked Ethan if we could put the pj's at one of the tables and he kindly let me do it (I kept them in the bag) so we could let Heath have one more "visit" there. :\'( :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FP1080545.jpg&hash=7291a63f5eb4f3eb8219906c43742324c20ee2c0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FMisc%2FP1080543.jpg&hash=ef2ef0fda9662d552953f4b091b93d26b3cdd559)
:ghug: to everyone. We first went to Spring Natural Restaurant and then Miro Cafe. The places where Heath used to hang out. LJN, thanks for the pix.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2008/01/24/2008-01-24_in_soho_heath_ledger_was_scruffy_loner.html
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_4737a.jpg&hash=491ed4a390e9ea84bd023f07c19a769be9b41184)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_4740a.jpg&hash=344b960f5de5711b9a545ced58b505f69437f275)
Michelle held the article in front of the apartment.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_4751a.jpg&hash=50ae25e5705ce34ce890425103f13c58ed0ce11a)
Chess area in Washington Square.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2FHeath%2FIMG_4766a.jpg&hash=351b9f783bcd06a4924a05f1cd15dbd60a9f5369)
Going to those places was not easy but it was more bearable and special to be with Brokies. It warmed me to see the bounding we have. I know we are under Heath's blessing. Thank you, Heath, wherever you are.
Can't believe it's been 10 weeks. :-\\
:ghug: :ghug: for everyone.
Grateful Traveler
Remember me, with a smile not sorrow.
My time here on earth was brief,
but oh how much I lived.
I filled each day with purpose
and tried my best to give
a little piece of who I am
to everyone I knew.
And I found in doing so
the love inside me grew.
But a body has its limits and now I need to rest.
My spirit lives forever though and I have been truly blessed.
I left my mark upon the world and in my little girl.
And what more could I ask of life
than to let me be true to myself,
and when it was my time to go
be proud of who I was?
So bid me not to stay, now that my work here is done.
Let me fly free and in remembering me
Share in my journey as I shared in yours.
I am a grateful traveler.
I was only passing through.
But if you keep me in your heart,
I will always live in you.
I cant belive its been 10 weeks, I still want to wake up from this bad dream, why cant everything be normal again?? :\'( :\'( :\'(Another day without your smile
Another day just passes by
It hurts so bad I can't take it any longer
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
(from a westlife song called Wanna grow old with you)
Some lyrics from different westlife songs that reminds me of HeathI'm never gonna say goodbye
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again
I never wanna see you sad
The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
Day after day time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
If I could I would turn back the time
I don't need nobody,
anyone to take your place but you, I just can't go on without you,
There's no one like you
Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FCandy%2FCandyTorontoPhotoshoot27.jpg&hash=8d6f994d38b49294d04e65d3ebb111420e94bdbb)
Tell Me Its Not TrueTell me it's not true
Say it's just a story
Something on the news
Tell me it's not true
Though it's here before me
Say it's just a dream
Say it's just a scene
From an old movie of years ago
From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe
Say it's just some clowns
Two players in the limelight
And bring the curtain down
Say it's just two clowns
Who couldn't get their lines right
Say it's just a show
On the radio
That we can turn over and start again
That we can turn over; it's only a game
Tell me it's not true
Say I only dreamed it
And morning will come soon
Tell me it's not true
Say you didn't mean it
Say it's just pretend
Say it's just the end
Of an old movie from years ago
From an old movie with Marilyn Monroe
Tell me it's not true
Say you didn't mean it
Say it's just pretend
Say it's just the end
Of an old movie from years ago
From an old movie with Marilyn Monroe
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fnormal_0057E8-2.jpg&hash=ba1d5055704824631c7822c31b2a156baacc34b9)
Every night I dream about him
In my world of fantasy
I pretend that we're together
In his world there's a garden in the moonlight
In his world there's a sweet and gentle breeze
In his world, oh he tells me that he loves me
That's where my heart wants to be
I saw a star falls from the heaven
I hope the wish I made comes true
I don't want to live without him
In his world I can see a new tomorrow
In his world where he gives his heart to me
In his world we will share this love together
That's where my heart wants to be
Why must I go on pretending
Why can't I tell him how I feel
These sweet dreams are never ending
And this loneliness is real...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fnormal_0037E14.jpg&hash=42d561e38e34b8f278ae5649aa8bded80dfbe352)
My old friend
Tim MacGraw
My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
Their woven in the stories I have told
And tell again
My old friend, I apologize
For the years that have passed
Since the last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the running and the races
The people and the places
There's always somewhere else I had to be
Time gets slim, my old friend
Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why
My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
My old friend, my old friend
Goodbye, goodbye
This just popped into my head and I had to write it down...This is a poem tribute to Heath and his daughter...you can get who would've said what part :-\\
Good morning, my beautiful sunshine
How you always seem to cross my mind
I see you everyday, smiling from ear to ear
How I need your calming voice to hear
Good night, sleep tight
Don't let this be the last time I see you, tonight
I see you in my dreams
And my in my fondest memories
Daddy, you ment the world to me
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Happy birthday in Heaven,Heath¡. You won´t have any material things in the day of your birthday, but you´ll have others which are not touched, nor are seen, but that are felt. Because when you went away,you carried too much love with you that I know,there where you´re now, you will be very happy. And I also know that you will be by the side of Simone and Jarrad´s fathers,Andrew´s partner,my mother and all the dear beings who some of Brokies had lost; and that just like them, you will see us and you will take care of us somehow,of all these who still are missing you so much.
Despite everything,I´d have liked that you would be here, in the Earth, and that perhaps we would have bought a certain material and prosaic object; but that would show the admiration and affection we all feel for you. However,somebody,up there,has preferred that you are by his side, to distract him with your joy and your gifts from good actor. And us here, we must conform to look to the highs and to know that you´re now this sweet eyes angel,as I like to call you; and that you already know that we are sending to you this love so that you have a happy birthday in Heaven.We miss you, Heath.WE´LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2FBrokeback%2520Mountain%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fshalli2.jpg&hash=d2d8a675aa8b71ae909eee7f0fa045e530913535)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2F1-16.jpg&hash=9462cf691bb9eebc43fd3ff2c8c55ab9fd68bdec)I miss you, I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once and a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart will let you go, and I need you to know
I miss you
For Heath, on his birthday:
A whisper on the wind.
A brief flash of light.
Small stolen moments on an ordinary night.
A warmth settles over me and wraps around my heart,
bringing with it comfort for the time that we're apart.
Memories wash through me of all the things you are,
and I think I caught a glimpse of you in a passing shooting star.
Thank you for touching me as you raced so swiftly past.
Yours was a flame that just couldn't last.
But it burned oh so brightly for those few short years,
and I'll remember you forever,
giving thanks through my tears.
Rest in the arms of angels.
We'll never be alone.
You'll carry our love with you
as God welcomes you home.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2Ft1home_ledger9_wed_ap.jpg&hash=fef46decb54f615e6af0542b1541530091c71abe)
Baked a birthday cake,
iced with falling tears, candles?
lighted one this year.
Sent up my prayers,
Angel, framed with falling tears...
can't dim your candle.
jessi
I was finally able to gather up some of my aborted attempts at thought gathering over the past few months into what I hope is something coherent.
January; outside is cold and grey
4:43 phone rings; it’s Tuesday
Words spoken to disbelieving ears
Shock gives way to unrelenting tears
Too many thoughts running in my mind
Solace doesn’t come; impossible to find
Not quite remembering why
I looked up toward the sky
Full moon obscured by clouds as if heaven said it had no right
To cast it’s beautiful shine; I cried myself to sleep that night.
A new day dawns, one second is all hope will allow
Wanting to know why; wanting to know how
A new journey’s just begun; not knowing where to start
Truth that lingers in the mind is rejected by the heart.
I want to go back to when everything was okay
I want to go back before that cold winter’s day
Today on the forum, I've posted a lot of scattered thoughts, feelings about what this day has brought to us all. But to me, today is so much more..
When I woke up at the crazy time of 6:30am, one of my 1st thoughts was "It's Heath's birthday"...but I didn't say anything to anybody. I got ready and headed out to my bus. It was raining, not drizzling or pouring, just raining and yet, when I opened the door, I clearly heard a beautiful bird chirping into my ear ( that bird again :\'( ) It was so sweet on a drerry morning like this one. I went to school, left for the trip, nothing new. I was listening to my ipod and "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavinge came on, we entered the city around that.. moment. I felt goosebumps through my whole body. At the Museum, I had a good time, saw beautiful pictures, and with no one else, I felt like I could take in a lot more. I tried at points, to wonder where these people were when the photos were taken or what they wanted their art to speak to us..I came back home and left to pick up my brother at the airport. We got to the hospital just in time, and I saw my nephew for the 1st time. He was beautiful, it seemed so unreal...Today was an adventure, a day where I mourn a death, and see the creation of a new life..
April 4th - a day that will be forever in my mindHeath - a man that will forever be in my heart
Because I know he loved sunsets, today on Heath's birthday I've seen the most beautiful I ever saw.
Words can't even describe the beauty of it, I felt as this happened special for him.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy4%2FMamaCeleste%2FPeisaje%2FSunset-1.jpg&hash=9bb015f092e2c77d01cf4ad13745306d9fe03382)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2Fdogtown-call005.jpg&hash=7f64538bb7ffd0dbfc4fa7401368bf614310b255)Why did you have to go?
I dont understand anything anymore
Now Im sitting here with tears in my eyes
My heart is broken
Theres no one like you
And I dont what there to be
I just want you
I have one wish
Can you please come back?
( a friend wrote this and gave it to me and all i could think of was Heath :\'( )
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"Life is eternal; and love is immortal;
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight"
Happy birthday angel, wherever you are
Sharing this poem written by Joey on Yahoo Brokeback. I can hear Heath saying this. Not with his voice exactly, but in his spirit. His beautiful spirit.
kathy
Lulla...bye
just needed a little rest
let me lay my head down
just needed some calm
a peace of me
some r and r
relief
didn't realize a little nap
could cause such an outpouring
of grief
tough, dark character
gotta let him go
easier said than done
and I aint a jokin'
now countless hearts
have been stunned, numbed
and broken
had to strike while the iron's hot
independent, alternative golden boy
stuck around just long enough
to become a man... just not
an old one
but my soul is and
it will act on and on
I lived for the times between
action and cut
wasn't always pretty
but intense, instinctual
straight from my gut
just a little shut eye
turned all my plans asunder
gives new meaning to
resting down under
I guess you really can
go home again
just wanted to lay down
this weary head
and it turned to fade to black
we never really choose every road
or understand every map
our actions
cut
that's a wrap
Joey Boyd
1/25/2008
Tony, I'm sending you a big big hug :ghug:. Thank you for your wonderful words.
I read this again, today, and it brought tears to my eyes... again. Diana Ossana's tribute to Heath, in The Advocate:
'Heath was an old soul in a young man's frame, extremely masculine, extremely competent in all things, and yet sensitive beyond belief. In person Heath was animated and kinetic and full of life, far different from the character he portrayed in Brokeback Mountain. He was always disheveled, unconcerned with his appearance, because - like my writing partner, Larry McMurtry - Heath lived in his head. Heath was a pure actor, much like Larry is a pure writer, and I was moved by the similarities between these two seemingly very different men.'
'One of my most endearing memories of working with Heath on set was the day we filmed the final scene in Brokeback. Before the first take, Heath walked over to me, a big smile on his face, and said, "I think you're going to like what I've done with this scene." Then he headed inside that bleak little trailer house, and the cameras rolled. I watched the monitor as Ennis opened his tiny closet door and revealed the two shirts he had found hidden inside Jack's childhood bedroom, like skins, one inside the other... and realized that Heath, as Ennis, had chosen to reverse the order of those shirts, with his on the outside, embracing Jack's. Such was Heath's commitment to the truth of our story and to the rawness and depth of his portrayal. Afterward our grizzled and thoroughly macho first assistant director marched over to me, bent down, and whispered in my ear, "Diana, I've worked in this business 50 years. This is the first time an actor's brought a tear to my eye".'
'Heath was generous and dear, painfully shy and gifted, and I will miss him for the rest of my days.'
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I've got your rainbows seen your sunbeams
I know a place where heaven breathes
And it's through her window
Your baby girl's window
I know you're happy where you are
Singing to the moon talking to the stars
Through her window
Your baby girl's window
There's finger marks around her soul
But your laughter fills the hole
Through her window
Your baby girl's window
Aaah I wish you would stay
Aaah to see what she made of herself
People say you were gone too soon
I see your face when flowers bloom
Through her window
Your baby girl's window
I'm looking for the words to say
Something to take the pain away
Through her window
Aaah I wish you would stay
Aaah to see what she made of herself
Robbie Williams - Baby Girl Window
Thank you myprivatejack, byt I am the one who learns a lot here. All the news articles, the links to tributes by Heath's friends, people who knew him and worked with him, telling stories and anecdotes, each word, each story, painting another part of the big picture, so huge, so deep that even now, his closest friends are surprised by the outpouring of love from all over, from all kinds of people. Heath's gift was to touch the heart and soul of people he met, any where, any time, any one. He touched me through the character of Ennis, in a way that no one else could. If Jack was the key that opened Ennis' heart and released the passion and love there, then Heath was the key that opened my heart, as I am sure, he was to many others.
After the shock of loss, now comes the hard work, of making life work with the feeling of emptiness still fresh, still hurting. But it is not so hard, when we have the many happy memories of a life lived without regret, without wasted minutes.
I found a video the other day, while browsing youtube in random, and thought right the way that it was perfect for someone I knew who could use it at that moment. I sent it to him, but did not realize that I was the intended recipient. It is now one of my favorite songs. It is one of a few songs that I listen to everyday, to draw strength, to gain energy, and to remind myself to remember the good memories with smiles and laughter, not tears and grief. There is a time for everything, and now is the time to live life as Heath lived it. It is hard to believe that it's only been 80 days. But if we can go around the world in 80 days a century ago, then we can turn a page over the grief, and begin a new journey of honoring Heath with our joy of living life as he would want us to live, full of optimism, filled with energy, and radiating love and sincerity.
Here is the link to the video at youtube.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0
The song is called My Wish, by Rascal Flatts. Here are the words, which are also in the video.
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take.
But more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
this is my wish
i hope you know somebody loves you
may all your dreams stay big
(Repeat)
(Chorus)
:ghug: to everyone here :c)
Dear lance, as Raskal Fats concerned, one of my favorites is :
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away show the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most was being
so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do .
Ravenus made a beautiful and haunting video !!!
It's paired with a great song and the scenes from BBM, absolutely,painfully amazing... You can see Heath's devotion to the role that is Ennis.. heartbreaking..
RIP my sweet angel :\'( <^(
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vVHbm89jYKw
May you never take one single breath for granted
Wow, when you really sit down and listen, it could remind you so much of Heath, especially when I read the line above :-\\
I absoultly LOVE this song!
About 4 years ago, I went into a lyrical dance class and for the 1st time did a dance for the resitatal so this songs means so much to me so thank you LC for putting it on and FC for reminding us of this beautiful song ^f^
This is my favorite part that especially makes me think of Heath :\'( :\'(
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
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La lumière du jour semble s’estomper lentement et la brise du soir frémit dans les cimes des arbres. Les faibles lueurs des restes du jour qui filtrent au travers des lourds nuages, annoncent avec certitude la poursuite de ce temps qui passe. Le frémissement des feuilles du vieux chêne rythme cet instant, où, à chaque seconde, mon âme semble flâner et se dissoudre avec les parfums que la nuit si proche semble déjà libérer sous les assauts du vent.
Mes cheveux balayent mon visage à la cadence des bourrasques du vent, la fraîcheur de la nuit qui est si proche me fait penser qu’il va bientôt pleuvoir. Au loin le grondement de l’orage naissant ricoche jusqu’à moi, et ça et là j’aperçois la végétation se courber sous les rafales chaudes et humides du vent du soir. Un sentiment de solitude s’empare de moi, et malgré l’agitation de cette nuit qui tombe, je te vois toujours venir à moi, comme ce premier jour où j’ai su que l’on allait s’aimer. Maintenant, la puissance des grondements du tonnerre fait vibrer tout mon corps, tout mon esprit, et ce tourment de la nature ressemble bien à celui de mon âme. Malgré l’agitation de cette nuit, je me rappelle que quelque part, là haut, derrière les nuages il y a cette étoile qui scintille toujours, cette lumière qui me guide au travers de l’obscurité.
J’éteins la douce lueur de la lanterne suspendue, et, avec l’agitation encore tumultueuse de ce soir, je vais apaiser mon esprit en glissant jusqu’à toi au travers de mes rêves.
Au gré de l’ivresse des vents et des rafles de pluie, dans cette petite maison au parfum d’antan, je revois toujours ton image avant que la nuit ne ferme trop vite mes paupières.
Un regard lumineux, un sourire et des évocations sonores se mêlent en une poursuite folle de souvenirs sur lesquels mon esprit pourra enfin s’assoupir pour soulager ma peine.
Daylight seems to be fading slowly and the breeze in the evening shudders in the treetops. The faint light of the remains of the day filtered through the heavy clouds, announce with certainty the continuation of the passing time. The trembling leaves of the old oak pace this moment, where every second, my soul seemed to wander and dissolve with fragrances that night seemed so close already released under the onslaught of wind.
My hair sweep my face at the rate of gusts of wind, the coolness of the night, which is so close makes me think it will soon rain. In the distance the roar of the storm until nascent rebound to me, and here and there I see the vegetation bending under the hot and humid gusts of wind in the evening. A sense of loneliness seizes me, and despite the turmoil of the night falls, I see you always come to me, as the first day I knew we would love. Now, the power of the rumbles thunder rocked my whole body, but my mind and the torment of this nature looks good to those of my soul. Despite the turmoil last night, I remember that somewhere, up there behind the clouds there is the star that shines always, the light that guides me through the darkness.
I turn of the light the gentle glow of the lantern suspended, and, with the unrest still tumultuous tonight, I will calm my mind until you rolling through my dreams.
At the discretion of the exhilaration of wind and rain sweeps in this small house in the fragrance of yesteryear, I always remember your image before the night closes too quickly my eyelids.
A look bright, a smile and evocative sounds mingle in a mad pursuit of memories on which my mind can finally fall asleep to relieve my pain.
Mikele(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fbbm2%2F005BBM_Jake_Gyllenhaal_044Custom.jpg&hash=1b9e6447595b6517103ad77aa3224ec1823af26b)
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Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
The Mamas and the Papas - Dream a Little Dream of Me
Amber eye
Sudden silence
The world stops turning for a moment
Starts again but jerkily
Our screams are so loud that
nobody can hear them:
The amber eye is closed
And looks now upon worlds
we are not part of
Flashes words words flashes
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the open heart
the lithe mind
the sudden laugh
or the shy glances
Mighty waves
crashes in
Sharp cliffs underneath
Must keep afloat
All of us that remain
A pause a stillness
With gentler waves in sunset
where many feet
are soothed
after weeks of endless pacing
Tears and laughter
fuses with water
creating underwater rainbows
of joy and pain
Flashes words words flashes
Still
Neverending
And none of them connected
to the hole in the ozone
the limber one left behind
Nor to the one less shadow
that is cast on the ground
Or to the mittens
that no longer has hands in them
And in the eye of the hurricane
A square of concrete
Stepped on
By baby’s feet
Stepped on once
And now stepped on forever
With him
And without him
Some pictures I took last Autumn in N.Y.C. they make me think of our Sweet Angel... :-\\
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Miss ya Cowboy! :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg240.imageshack.us%2Fimg240%2F1833%2Fheatharchibaldportraitis4.jpg&hash=b36b0f416532324c11f8a1955a21baf32b3b1889) (http://imageshack.us)
Today I went to the city, the Art Gallery, stood looking at Heath's portrait, somewhat eerie/haunting, very difficult to grasp that it was the Heath we love. The hardest part was seeing the tiny tattoo with the name 'Matilda' below his left breast. When the tears started to well and the headache came over me I turned around and left, I couldn't concentrate on walking around seeing the other paintings. :(
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Vivre à coté de l’autre
Et partager sa vie
Aimer tout ce qu’il est
Son odeur ses gestes aussi
Avancer cote à cote
Et s’arrêter ici
Au milieu des regrets
Et de tout c’qu’on s’est dit
Le souvenir de l’autre
Est tellement précis
On l’entend on le frôle
On caresse son ombre la nuit
Le temps pousse à la faute
Et on en paie le prix
Avoir le premier rôle
Et puis plus rien aujourd’hui
On est si peu de chose
Quand l’autre s’en va
Quand le manque s’impose
Quand on a plus le choix
On apprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là
On refait son décor
On range les photos
On a peur quand on sort
On se dit que c’est trop tôt
On est mal dans son corps
On ne se trouve pas beau
L’impression d’être mort
Sans l’autre contre sa peau
On est si peu de choses
Quand l’autre s’en va
Quand le manque s’impose
Quand on a plus le choix
On apprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là
On est si peu de choses
Et tellement à la fois
Quand le manque s’impose
On est plus vivant que l’on croit
On comprend tant de choses
Quand l’autre n’est plus là
Plus là
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Living next to the other
And share his life
Love is everything it
His gestures also smell
Advancing side by side
And stop here
In the midst of sorrow
And all expressed what was
The memory of another
Is so accurate
She is also heard on the verges
It cherishes its shadow at night
The weather was pushing for misconduct
And it is paying the price
Having the lead role
And then nothing today
There is so little
When one goes
When the lack needed
When you have no choice
We learn so many things
When one is no longer there
Over there
We re-decor rooms
We put away old photos
We are afraid when we go out
It may be said that it's too early
There is evil in his body
It is not beautiful
The impression to be dead
Without the other against her skin
There is so little
When one goes
When the lack needed
When you have no choice
We learn so many things
When one is no longer there
Over there
There is so little
And so at a time
When the lack needed
There is more alive than we thought
It includes many things
When one is no longer there
Over there
Frédéric Lemer
Thank you to everyone who keeps encouraging me to write and post more. I was deeply shocked the first time I saw the painting. In fact, I had to switch the page off, either by clicking the back button, or closing the browser tab. I can't recall what I did. I just remember seeing it a few days after Jan. 22, and was so shocked, and scared by it, that it made me feel uneasy for days. Having the interview with Vincent explaining the motivation behind the different aspects of the design was like having this forum to discuss the movie after Brokeback Mountain. All the pain and emotions overflowing had a place to go, had a name, had reins.
I really appreciate the opportunities to explore this and other topics so freely, and with so much support. I think it is why I am finally coming to terms with the sadness and grief. I felt that last night, even though I could not recall any of it in the morning, I had a dream of being in the presence of Heath. It was not Ennis. I think it was my intense focus on Four Feathers, and the painting, to understand Heath better, and finally, all the weeks of news articles, tributes, and everything, all came together, and I saw the iceberg beneath the surface, I FELT the presence even in his absence. It is hard to explain, but for days I have been feeling this presence. I think I finally understand what it means, to always remember, to always have Heath in my heart. I hope this will never end.
Heath is always in my heart. I don't have to feel sad or to cry in order to know that he's there. I hardly cry now... although I still get goosebumps when I think back on that terrible night when I just heard the news, the reports and the pictures that kept pouring from the tv, the awful shock. One of the worst nights of my life. But I don't have to be in a state of shock and sadness and choked up with tears as a proof that I remember him, all the time. And I don't have to think about him all the time to know that he's in my heart. Although there isn't a day when I don't think of him. I loved him a lot, I still do, I guess I always will. More than anything else I wish I could've known him in real life, but in some way I feel that I do.
Watching Four Feathers with the director's commentary, I heard something that we already know, and I paraphrase:
The difference between an actor and a great actor is what he can put behind a simple line, all the emotions and subtext that goes with it, and Heath is a great actor.
He also talked about the deep friendship Heath developed with Wes Bentley and Djimon Hounsou, and how after a successful ninth take of an emotionally powerful scene with Djimon Hounsou, Heath asked him as a favor to do a tenth. And it was done Heath's way in the final cut because all the emotions in it were so much more powerful.
In two scenes with Wes Bentley, the two of them were so immersed in each other's performances, that time went unnoticed until the scene was done. And when the final five-page scene was cut to one page, the two of them protested, and "huddled" together for four hours, before performing the next morning. It was like the two shirts in Brokeback Mountain.
Then there is the scene with Ethne, at the end, when she said, "I love you, but I can't." The sadness and pain expressed on the quietly listening face of Heath, was comparable to his performance in the diner as Cassie ran out the door. Yet, the subtle differences revealed the character's long journey from military school through the desert in Africa.
Heath always brought something extra to all the roles he played.
This is not from me, I found it on the internet, but I thought it was beautiful.
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This is a wonderful tribute:
http://nottheredbaron.deviantart.com/art/Heath-and-Heather-75602428
Thank you Anaconda for finding the link for us.
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Tribute
I met Heath Ledger in 2000. I was working on From Hell and he was shooting A Knights Tale which were both being shot in and around Prague.
It was one of the best and worst times of my life - I was in a Hollywood movie, shooting scenes with Johnny Depp and Robbie Coltrane but behind all the glitz and the glamour there was a sour taste to the whole experience: I (unlike many of the other actors working on the film), had been out in Prague for nearly three months, it was lonely living out of a hotel room and I had terrible anxiety and self doubt with regards to my part in the movie itself - coupled with some unpleasant incidents on set, I felt very isolated and vulnerable.
One evening during that time, some of the actors from my film had arranged to meet some of the actors from the other film at a night spot in Prague and I happened to be in that very same bar when they arrived. Out of everyone who was there, it was Heath who asked me if I would like to join their party, some of the guys had said hello to me when they arrived and Heath had deduced I must have been working on the other film and that I was on my own.
I had a really great time that night, and on a couple occasions Heath invited me over to his apartment to hang out with his friends. It was on one of those occasions that this photo was taken. Heath had discovered that I was an artist and that I was also a photographer and he had with him an old bashed up camera which he handed to me and asked if I wouldn't mind taking some shots of him and Heather Graham.
That will be my enduring memory of him - how he was completely genuine and his startling kindness - he made me feel included when I had been excluded and made my memories of Prague a great deal happier than they might have been... I can't imagine how devastated the people who knew him well must be.
I wanted to share this with the dA community as it's been reported that far right extremists intend to picket and disrupt his funeral. Know this, Heath Ledger was a good person, a kind person: please don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. His loss should be mourned, not mocked.
Rest in peace Heath...
We have a song in Hebrew called "What shall I bless". It's about a guy who dies too young. In Israel this song associates with our many young soldiers who get killed in battles, and they play it every year on the radio on Rememberence Day. But it doesn't have to be about dying in a battle, it can be about any young guy who dies before his age. I remember it'd been read in my cousin's funeral, he was killed 21 years ago by an accident, he was only 23 years old.
Anyway, these lyrics remind me so much of Heath, I tried to translate them to English. I omitted one verse about the boy becoming a soldier, because it's not relevant to Heath at all, but the rest of the song just makes me think of Heath, I even have an image in my head to go with it.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%2Fvanityfair4.jpg&hash=68b27fb8aed3be99ba405ae857b5b684b3f91d3c)
What Shall I Bless
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This kid? Asked the angel.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This kid? Asked the angel.
And blessed him with a smile which is like the light,
And blessed him with big, seeing eyes
To see every flower, living creature and bird
And a heart, to feel all the sights.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This teen? Asked the angel.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This teen? Asked the angel.
And blessed him with legs to dance to no end
And a soul to remember all the tunes
And a hand picking shells on the beach
And a listening ear for both grown-ups and kids.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This man? Asked the angel.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed,
This man? Asked the angel.
I've given him all that I'm able to give
A song, and a smile, and legs to dance
And a gentle hand, and a shivering heart
And what shall I bless you more?
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed?
This kid? Asked the angel.
What shall I bless him, how shall he be blessed?
This kid, This young boy?
This boy, now he's an angel
No more shall he be blessed
God, God, God –
If only you've blessed him with life.
Sometimes you hear a song and immediately think of Heath.
Today I was listening to the radio and heard the song "Everybody's Gotto Learn Sometime"
I already knew the song but it gave me goosebumps.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi237.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff160%2FGriesmeelpudding%2Fjonworth007.jpg&hash=5e16991286d7aa13c3f7893a3a41660f3cf8389b)
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
Will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
The Korgis - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime
That happens to me all the time Anaconda.
Like this one..."Never Had A Dream Come True"
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you
I guess this one is a little bit more about Ennis and Jack
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc126%2Flancecowboy%2Flove.jpg&hash=336f29b730f92a9770345dfcbac5026ebf1c1f9e) It is hard to imagine, only three months ago, not even 100 days,
that you were planning to work right here
It is hard to let go, of all that you have yet to do,
that only you could do with understanding and with passion
It is easy to think, that you have not yet gone,
but only resting, still hanging around
It is easy to pretend, all the movies I have not yet seen
are your latest creation
But no matter how hard I try,
nothing has changed.
You are still legend
You are still here
only a few minutes over here and it will be three months... but i think everyone will agree we still know you are near keeping a watchful eye on your loved ones smiling down at the love being sent your way, im sorry i dont have much to say here my message is in my heart and isnt that of words i just hope you get it. well heath, see you again someday. we miss you.
:h) Hello Brokies,
this is Megalyn08 :). Here in Italy is already April 22, that means already three months since Heath's passing away. :\'( I can't avoid thinking about it, although I still find it absurd. During these three months I joined this forum and read so many beautiful posts and tributes to Heath. I watched movies, read articles, watched videos (and made one) on You Tube. Everything in order to honor one of my favorite actors gone too, too soon. I felt I had to say "thanks" to him in some way for all the strong and deep emotions he and Jake made me feel through BBM's images and words. In another post I said that after having crossed Ennis and Jack's path I've never been the same again, and I confirm it. That's why I'll be forever grateful to Heath for playing Ennis Del Mar and to Jake for playing Jack Twist. <^( <^(
Often in these months I hoped I could wake up and discover that was just a nightmare and all was ok. But it wasn't and it isn't. :\'( As Ennis said once, "if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it". :\'(
I like very much Heath's special smile, I often say it, and this is the way I wanna remember him forever. My heart will always flipflop thinking or watching Ennis and Jack's tender and wonderful love-story, it will always continue getting warm inside before the second tent scene and the flashback during their last meeting, I will always miss him, but I wanna remember forever his smile. It's too special. This is another way for me to say "thanks" to him. <^( <^(
I wanna also say "thanks" :t) to you all members of this beautiful BBM Family for all the things you share....songs, poems, pictures, thoughts. Everything so lovely!! <^( <^( <^( I am so glad to have met you. :cr) ^f^ :)
Love from Megalyn08 :ghug:
Slowly I realise that he is gone,
Only some pics and movies will remain,
Reality has hurt our hearts,
Reality is merciless and it don't care,
Our sweet cowboy rest in peace,
We'll be forever bound by him,Unforgettable Heath Ledger
:ghug:
Simone
3 months and I miss you more each day....
3 months and my grief is hurting,
3 months and it feels like yesterday. :\'(
RIP, sweet angel.
Memory Lane
by Marian Jones
There is a place in every heart,
They call it Memory Lane,
Where thoughts of loved ones lost
Forever will remain.
God made this special place
When He first created man,
For He knew it would be needed,
As part of our life's plan.
He knew when loved ones left us,
We'd need some time to heal,
To come to terms with sorrow
And the loneliness we'd feel.
So when you lose a loved one
And your life is filled with pain,
The comfort of their presence
Will be found in Memory Lane.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2FHeath%2F001127Heath.jpg&hash=d4a307ab0daedd1b21e2be742a37ea5ad382acdf)
Yesterday I watched "A knight's tale".
I got to the part when he writes that love letter... and I heard those words... "Today, the pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle.... I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to."
I couldn't help it, the tears just rolled down my face.
After the movie I looked at his photos, and I couldn't stop crying.
Heath, you have no idea how much I miss you.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FAKT%2FAKT11.jpg&hash=7af8a0060cff8d41d1c4449e7a6498275a3d6625) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FAKT%2FAKT7.jpg&hash=bae47063ef211953995f2c9d0080fcfb7f940262)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi86.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk116%2Flil_dwarf_611%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FHeathshootings92.jpg&hash=a2baf8e3a80f9191da69f2bad7a7cec1f00d0dc9)
It's still so hard for my to realize that it's been 3 months already
I lay in my bed last night, imagine what it's gunna be like when we say 6 months, 12 months, 5 years
He impacted us SO much, I can barly stand it
Today, on facebook, there is a application called "Daily Hunk"..I was starlted to realize who was on it today
All the comments where praises, sorrow for a man that left us too soon
He impacted so many people though he was only here 28 years
I just hope we can all stand up, and carry his legacy on...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi90.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk248%2FGenesisRogue%2FHeaven.jpg&hash=2fd6d3e2816683b353d6bed033ce21248b47bd84)From heaven where you rest, look how much we are still loving you
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FAKT%2FAKT11.jpg&hash=7af8a0060cff8d41d1c4449e7a6498275a3d6625) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FAKT%2FAKT7.jpg&hash=bae47063ef211953995f2c9d0080fcfb7f940262)
~Kiss from a rose~
There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the grey.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
~ Seal ~
I'm sorry to steal your pictures Keren, but they reminded me so much of this song.
And the song and the pics fit so well together.
Thank you for posting Keren :ghug:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg155.imageshack.us%2Fimg155%2F3954%2Fstorybookhs9.jpg&hash=876e61c4e3658f4c625cfdb98ba9ee31e9b5b6c1)
Don't you remember? You taught me.
I am the one who can help you
without expecting an exchange
and you can always count on me.
Don't you need a real friend?
Heath & Jake forever best friend
Jack, I swear....
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg291.imageshack.us%2Fimg291%2F2609%2Fbbmpixhp5.jpg&hash=5f198a79000929ac64cbffdeddbb16e1be6828e7)
"Storm clouds may gather
and stars may collide
but I love you
until the end of time"....
I was driving the car today and suddenly this song played on my CD, I just kept repeating it on an on all the way until I got to work...the first thing on my mind was Ennis/Heath... I hardly could see the road...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2FBBM%2Fvlcsnap-5127406.png&hash=71a48e3ca52546cacaeef497a88bc7cfcebe567c)
First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
by Ewan MacColl.
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.
The first time ever I kissed your mouth
And felt your heart beat close to mine
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command.
And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love
It would last till the end of time my love
The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI7gzXz1cHo
(p.s. can anybody make a BBM video with this song ,please??)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc126%2Flancecowboy%2F100days.jpg&hash=aacf69a239303c4385adeb717340be6ec51253d4)
You gave me the understanding of a life time
You created a character that reflects so much of me inside
Yet so transformed by your strength, your wisdom, your love
that I cannot but be lifted up as well,
as I watch Ennis grew out of his shell
as I watch him learn to see himself, through your eyes
Just as Ennis learned to smile and laugh with Jack
away from the cold cruel world, in the cold mountain air
I have learned to smile and laugh with you
while I wait, thinking what the cold cruel world lost
when we lost you one hundred days ago.
Not a day goes by, without a thought of you.
Not a day goes by, without thinking what we lost
Not a day goes by, without thinking the beauty you created
Not a day goes by, wihtout remembering the beauty that you reflect
in all that you do, in all that you are
Not a day goes by, without your smiling face,
bringing both smiles and tears
i'm still crying everyday when i see his pics or when i read every thot of everyone who miss him as much as i do...i miss him so much...my best friend is sick about heath ledger and i really donno with who i could talk...and i thot here i can find people who love him as much as i do...i was waching casanova and i was so happy...at the end of the movie i cried even if i saw it 2 imes before:)) it was just beautiful...btw casanova was the first movie with heath ledger wich i saw...i love painting...and i took picturesc on the tv screen just to make a portrait of heath:)) i was very happy:p.then i start doing it...i finished it 2 days later in the morning....that evening i was waching the news...than my happiness became a silent cry...i refused to belive such a stupit thing...my beloved heathdied because of an overdoze...he was not a junkie...god he made a movie (candy) helping the fight with the drogs:((...then the doctors said it was because of the doctors...i've became obsesd my ringtone is the song th wings:((...it's so sad...i miss him a lot...he was just lie a friend to me:( i'm listening to "i stil cry" it's such a sad song...i thing about him everyday when i listen it...i will post the lyrics:(... :\'( :\'( :\'(I Still CryI`m making flowers out of paper
While darkness takes the afternoon
I know that they won`t last forever
But real ones fade away to soon
Chorus:
I still cry sometimes when I remember you
I still cry someitmes when I hear your name
I said goodbye and I know you`re alright now
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry
It`s just that I recall September
It`s just that I still hear your song
It`s just I can`t seem to remember
Forever more those days are gone
Chorus:
I still cry sometimes when I remember you
I still cry sometimes when I hear your name
I said goodbye and I know you`re alright now
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry
I still cry sometimes when I rememeber you
I still cry sometimes when I hear your name
I said goodbye and I know you`re alright now
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry
But when the leaves start falling down I still cry
I Still Cry
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fbbm2%2Fedmxo2.jpg&hash=0ebdda61af1d0488fff34e3e63f35c2d1e192938)This is the end of everything, this is the end I know.Chris Isaac
This is the end of everything, take your love with you when you go.
This is the end of happiness, this is the end dreams.
This is the end of everything, it's the end for you and me.
I don't know, what to do.
In my heart I still love you.
I don't know, what to say.
I will always feel this way.
This is the end of everything, this is the end I know.
This is the end of everything, take your love with you when you go.
I've been avoiding this thread for my own well being but that's shot to hell so..I'm about 4 pages behind now. Anyway we left a memorial in Carson Park in Eau Claire this past weekend during the Brokie meet. I won't give the play by play (some Brokies are working on something) but Keren chose a perfect spot for him overlooking the water. It's in this spot that looks like it was just carved out for this purpose. Pauline did a lovely reading and Barb placed the wreath in the ground. :\'(
This is from when we first left it:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080809.jpg&hash=574147f32a7eee2cc71d47a15ea8b2c16fb78db8)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080816.jpg&hash=5485796050043616f3bdbfcf8bf9c04fdc983f9f)
A few of us went back later to visit and reflect and the sun was shining right on it:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080843.jpg&hash=81569e0ac32b4e6f4edccdc0e2023859fcb4085b)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080827.jpg&hash=f93cbfc444568b9e6697a451b62f643f8bae0a9d)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080829.jpg&hash=85605f96afd2a8b78ac3c7e42244621990280c72)
And before we left for the airport, Barb and I went back and visited Monday morning and spent a long time there. We each took a coin and made a wish before throwing the coins into the lake.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080944.jpg&hash=f1dcbccd4132f275acf05ed11b33c0ab96bd6ea8)
His view
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080921.jpg&hash=0a9369ec6e155a4772423d4fc1de89953b3ecf14)
and the view from the top
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2Fmeet%2520and%2520greet%2FP1080955.jpg&hash=b86e383886b3aa9cb6b4ff51c93bc7f4e7ee60c4)
So he's surrounded by light all day and the sounds of birds singing and water softly lapping against the bank :\'(
I would love to build a memorial with some Brokies. I was where his body laid in that chapel in Los Angeles the morning after, but I didn't know he had been mourned there. It is just a place I find peace. I'll have to let my tears and words be my memorial for now. Lucky are those who came together and found a way of laying something down to find some peace.
jessi
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2FIMG003.jpg&hash=ea8343cf97137641fc54895e2e6a0b7f8cc31145)
Where can I build a memorial,
place stones and flowers for you,
far away from shore,
miles out to sea,
for you never just tread at the edge?
Where can I place tear soaked stones,
in middle of a desert where sun shines brightest,
and endless miles to roam, where great beauty
is hard to find,
the rarest of all hoarded?
Where can I bow in pain, choke on sobs,
build my memorial for you,
a mountain, in fields of wildflowers where not one
shows a glance of your greatness, or
a forest,
is there a tree magnificent enough, so tall and sturdy,
to put stones beneath, or
prairies...great plains washed pure enough for your compassion,
understanding,
my love?
Sweet angel,
my eyes and senses have been blessed
with heavenly sights,
this earth,
more magnificence than my soul should know,
I've seen,
but none,
not one,
worthy enough to place a stone
in memory.
Sweet angel,
all I have,
lifelong love
and thoughts,
heart full of your wonder, memories,
my words,
singing of you,
my memorial, sweet baby,
how, oh Lord how,
can I build a memorial for you?
jessi
5-10-08
forever
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi241.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff1%2Ftitabeille_photos%2FMagazines%2520sur%2520Heath%2520Ledger%2FInLovingMemory.jpg&hash=598422d07fb22794c140f637691875aea5226367)
For you dear brokies. I have cut a lot of first pages magazines to make a "patchwork"..: Hope you'll enjoy it.
I still miss him...And what about you ?
A lot of thanks to Alicia, Zankou and LD...I have a lot of other magazines and soon, I"ll do other "patchworks" for you dear brokies :^^)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi241.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff1%2Ftitabeille_photos%2FMagazines%2520sur%2520Heath%2520Ledger%2FNumerisation.jpg&hash=05b732ceb9608ea2182937ecaf069eeb1df6cf04)
That pic again...even if it has been posted before, because He is so wonderful on it ^f^
We still love you dear Heatcliff Ledger, we'll never forget you, I swear.
I had a dream of Heath last night. I was a friend of the family, and was hanging out with Heath, Michelle and a number of others at a party. (I don't remember Matilda being there.) I was so aware of having the most serious hots for Heath and so I was avoiding eye contact, though often standing close, etc. Let me tell you, he was such a presence in the room. Definitely "larger than life." Then, a very strong moment at the end when we sat together and finally our eyes met. Nothing to do with the "hots" at that moment, just of a very powerful connection. End of dream... And I'm glad I had it. Like a moment of hello and goodbye perhaps.
kathy
Asali and I made this tribute video for Heath, the video footage and some pictures are from our meeting in Eau Claire, for now we were only able to upload it to livevideo.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2Feauclaire%2FDSCN0886.jpg&hash=827164e15996bd1e5eb4b1443f93f22ea97df9f7)
This is what Asali read during the video, this is the poem on the wreath made by LuvJackNasty
In Our Hearts
(author unknown)
We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
And the days before that, too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.
God has you in His Keeping.
We have you in our Heart.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2Feauclaire%2FDSCN0896.jpg&hash=6c743c5119c0b2d18335ffc4326d595865e8dbc7)
And these are the significance of the flowers used by LuvJackNasty
Pink Carnation: I'll never forget you; gratitude. The carnation is the flower of January
White Roses: Reverence and remembrance
Daisy: Loyal love; youth. The daisy is the flower of April.
And this is the video on livevideo
http://www.livevideo.com/video/19C76F821D10454F91FE240BD83BA49A/tribute-to-heath-at-eau-claire.aspx
Huh, may we suggest to have tissues ready? :-\\
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fnormal_0057E8-1.jpg&hash=d733cf5bff4f4cfdfac167743c5de30a494cda9f)
I thought of you and how you love this beauty,
And walking up the long beach all alone
I heard the waves breaking in measured thunder
As you and I once heard their monotone.
Around me were the echoing dunes, beyond me
The cold and sparkling silver of the sea --
We two will pass through death and ages lengthen
Before you hear that sound again with me.
Sarah Teasdale
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi59.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg308%2Fmeluvjacob%2Fheath.jpg&hash=539e9a12f2be6e2937cde932ad96e0862d5c8549)In all your looks you've always been beautiful;but not as much as your soul.Short life has been yours;but always full with projects,ideas and LOVE.
REST IN PEACE,SWEET EYES ANGEL.
Hello friends. :^^)
RL has been very demanding and I haven't been able to visit this thread much over the last few days. Now that I have caught up, I just have to say that I'm overwhelmed and so heartened by all of the wonderful things you have expressed. The love and appreciation for Heath and for each other can be felt pouring out of the computer screen. It is, once again, an amazing tribute to the people who brought us BBM and the family we have created here in honor of that. :ghug:
Thank you for all of the videos, collages, poems and personal thoughts you have posted. Knowing that we share these feelings really is such a comfort. Tony, this was beautifully stated:
Dear jessi - so beautiful and most of all, so heartfelt. It's human nature to want that memorial place we can go, to remember. But the only one I know of that will last, is us. I'd love to see that place we could go, but strangely enough, or maybe not so strangely, we are, ourselves, the memorial to Heath. Each in our own way. The outside world would never understand. Again, keep writing, jessi - for us and our sweet angel.
And it echoes the same idea that Michelle shared, when she said that "we are all laying memorial with each word here."
Can you imagine a better tribute than to have so many people from all around the world celebrate your spirit and your memory, and carry that celebration forth in their own lives? He is a lucky man, to have left such a legacy, and we are lucky people, to have been the recipients of it. :ghug:
A very early morning to you all
This weeks been tough..just when I was beginning to believe that I'd managed to get my head around it and accept that Heath is not longer here..every advert break during my guilty pleasure of Hollyoaks (A UK soap) has had a trailer for Brokeback Mountain ahead of it;s terrestrial premiere on Sunday ..and there he is living and breathing ..his pictures in all the listing mags and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach again and find myself back in a state of disbelief waiting to wake up
But I cling on to my belief that he's out there somewhere looking in and walking alongside he loved dearly. But also as well in better world not visible to our eyes yet. And yes it hurts that we can't see him, but one day we will again. But he will not be forgotten by those of us he left behind, who simply loved him from afar and let him into our lives through his films. We all post because he had an impact on our lives. Through his work and the way he went about his life he taught us so many important lessons and mrals that the greatest tribute we could pay to Heath is to incorporate those ways and values, not to mention his love of life into our own lives. Follow our dreams..make every second count, love and be true to ourselves. Heath didn't just change his own stars through his lifestyle and the films he chose to make, he changed ours too. And those of us, lucky enough to be here and pay attention during Heath's time here will never let what he achieved be forgotten. I'm sure in fifty, maybe even a hunderd years, he'll be seen as one of the all time greats, but we were the lucky ones who got to watch as it happen.
And though ways of the Universe we simply cannot fathom, I like to think he hears our thoughts about him, our prayers, that he saw all the tributes left outside his apartment and all around the world, that he was there on the beach that day with his friends and that he ses every post about him on forums and every video. And while I'm sure he in true Heath fashion would be embarrased by it, is inside beaming with the love thats has been shown for him and the tributes paid to him. And with a smile, and a twinkle in his eye, off he goes on his skateboard.
So yes, I like to believe he sees every post that is here. And I feel truly honoured to be a part of this forum, even though I haven't posted much due to real life getting in the way, and to be honest feelign sometimes, I had nothing to say that hadn't already been said a thousand times better. I just wished I joined a long long time ago, after I'd seen Brokeback to have joined in on all the discussions then. But this place is a remarkable part of Heath's legacy. And I hope it long continues. For as I read post over post that astounds me, with it's beautiful poetry and thoughts,and pictures, I can not be more grateful that all you wonderful people out there around the world have been brought together here and through your words and actions paying the biggest compliments to our prince among men, our troubled cowboy, our inquisitive storyteller, our Casanova, our evil Joker - for he's all of these and so much more - the beautiful spirit that is Heath Ledger.
(Sorry about the length)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fmm58%2FTinsel_Silvera%2F9500503_gal.jpg&hash=09ff6b366b0435ee977fba55057fcd7f0518bf7d)
Today I saw somebody who looked just like you
He walked like you do I thought he was you
And as he turned the corner I called out your name
I felt so ashamed cause it wasn't you wasn't you
You are everything and everything is you
How can I forget when each face that I see
Brings backs memories of being with you
I just can't go on living life as I do
Comparing each one with you
Because they just won't do
They're not you
You are everything and everything is you
Kim Carnes
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi99.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl302%2Fcouture25%2Fheath.jpg&hash=1eaa2d631fabef2e731cf8f8c7b9ee7024fa073c)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv108%2FAmy07%2Fatributecopy.jpg&hash=0a26d1c6c2ad2eaa4531f34e323705a4a521e41d)
4 months ago you began another journey to another place that is now your home.Although you live in thousands of little homes:our hearts.I miss you so much I can't hardly stand it... :^^)
4 months since u are dead...4 fu**ing months.it;s unfair...u are my fav actor and u are not here to make for me new movies.to make me laugh cry or be happy.i won't know how u would look when u would be old....i am so sad that i can tell u my sweet angel.aniway thank you for coming in my dreams and talking with me and i think that u are sad and happy in the same time.happy that u had matilda and sad cause u won't see her as a teen as a mother or as a wife...i guess it's horible...love u a lot my wonderful angel...
For my sweet Casanova Heath
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi237.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff160%2FGriesmeelpudding%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FHeathLedger.jpg&hash=473955340031e1ba2475bc5ab7dcb12c4ec25758)
I had closed the door upon my heart
And wouldn't let anyone in,
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
But, that would never happen again.
I had locked the door and tossed the key
As hard, and as far as I could,
Love would never enter there again,
My heart was closed for good.
Then you came into my life
And made me change my mind,
Just when I thought that tiny key
was impossible to find.
That's when you held out your hand
And proved to me I was wrong,
Inside your palm was the key to my heart...
You had it all along.
Miss you baby
Love of my life, you hurt me
You've broken my heart and now you leave me.
Love of my life can't you see,
Bring it back, bring it back,
Don't take it away from me,
Because you don't know, what it means to me.
Love of my life don't leave me,
You've stolen my love, you now desert me,
Love of my life can't you see,
Bring it back, bring it back,
Don't take it away from me
Because you don't know, what it means to me.
...Back - hurry back,
Don't take it away from me,
because you don't know what it means to me(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%2FtributeforHeath5.jpg&hash=a6a914d0bdebedf402817c10e756529e7684ca63)May the sun always shine on you baby(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%2FHeathsview2.jpg&hash=baba0ee90c906a6627afeab11e413dec6db872a2)
OMG, Keren and Marj.... :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( That's so precious and heartbreaking...... :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapu.mabul.org%2Fup%2Fapu%2F2008%2F05%2F22%2Fimg-222245r5e6n.jpg&hash=a291f0586b9ade6a4deb12679e30b7045d268e6b) (http://mabul.org/)
I cannot believe it's been 4 months. I was stunned because when I woke up this morning, I didn't even realize what day it was. Then, all of the sudden in my 1st class, it hit me. I couldn't do anything but sit there. So I did, but I closed my eyes and gave a short little prayer and kissed the wristband on my right wrist. I wear it everyday and everyday I feel that he is with me and I carry a piece of him in my heart.
Heath, may you be humble, and calm in your new home, and may you never forget how much we love you.
4 months, damn..
Last Friday I went to my cousin's memorial, he was killed 21 years ago, when he was 23... we went to his grave and stood there, and his sister read out loud something that she's wrote. She told how, when she was a kid, she saw her neighbours crying over the grave of their son who's been dead for 10 years and she asked herself, 'do you still cry after 10 years? Does it still hurt that much?' And now, standing in front of her brother's grave she said, "21 years later I can tell you: Yes, it still hurts so much." And they all cried, his parents and his sisters. I stood there and couldn't help thinking about Heath. We love him, and we cry over him, but we didn't really know him in real life... how much time is it gonna take for the pain to lessen? Some day it's not going to hurt that much, is it? Years from now... but for his family, his parents and his sisters, the people who were a real part of his life and he was a part of theirs - this pain is never going away.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi156.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft10%2Fthe_full%2FStars%2520-%2520Arts%2FWallpaper%2FWallpaper-Heath-Ledger-Paper.jpg&hash=f64f3b4b7c1afac7ab19d00bde63beb5cdeebeae)A SO GREAT TALENT AS YOURS SHOULD BE BY OUR SIDE TO GIVE US ALL THE EMOTIONS YOUR ROLES MADE US FEEL.BUT SOMEONE IN THE HIGH HAS WANTED YOU TO PERFORM AN ETERNAL ROLE IN HEAVEN...
All through this memorial thread, there've been occasional wonderings and, yes, insecurities, about saying you have loved someone you never met. A person can feel like : "What's wrong with me? I'm grieving all these months later over someone who never knew I even existed and who I never even sat down and talked with, even one time."
Well, there had to have been those, amongst the many thousands he knew personally, who didn't have an overwhelming love for him. He just wasn't their type. No harm there. And as for those who were very close to him and DID love him, it's possible they missed at least a little bit, so close to the trees they did not see the forest. So there would be room for those who never met him, but saw an overview, from a distance, and were therefore maybe able to see Heath in ways that day-to day living could distract from. That can't be ruled out.
So then the question is, did you love him and do you still grieve him? And if the answer is yes, that love is as legitimate and real, in its own way, as that of those who knew him up-close. No doubt if you HAD met, there would have been adjustments to make, and more practical judgments, but the love would still be there, even with the adapting to the day-to-day person.
All am saying is, if you loved him and never met him, and that holds up through the years, it is a legitimate love, formed from a distance, untested by the realities of personal contact, yes, but still real. That can happen. I also think, if there's anything after this life, that love would be accepted and returned. The fact that you DID love, and that it held up, is the only relevant fact, not whether you met. I hope this might be considered as possible by those who still are suffering, and, please, never rule anything out. Real love...would always be returned, once known.
Finally, Heath's tracking of Nick Drake, showed empathy and maybe love, not obsession. He never met Nick Drake, but did identify a soul he thought worthy of investing in, emotionally. He wasn't embarrassed to pursue and embrace a person never personally known. He felt a connection. And so, for those who feel that same connection with Heath, he left you the answer, for he had been there, himself.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi247.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg141%2FFlogsPasion%2FHEATH%2520LEDGER%2Fbgp1.jpg&hash=105f5a27c76a7a1a0ed0b9d09e93456e1d8e254e)Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there: I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints off snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain
Do not stand by my grave and mourn
I am the dew-flecked grass at dawn
Where tranquil oceans meet the land
I am the footprints in the sand
To guide you through the weary day
I am still here, I'll always stay
When you wake up to the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there: I did not die
So many beautiful posts here. I still have to go back and read a few pages but all of the ones stemming from Tony’s post of loving and mourning one we have not met hit home.
It is absolutely possible to feel that way and that is evidenced by all of who gather here.
As Lasmusica said, we got to see him in the various incarnations of characters, photos and interviews. We got to know the parts he let us know and that is really no different than the people we know in “real life”. And we are learning even more about this beautiful soul through the people that did get the privilege of encountering him, even briefly, while he was still amongst us.
There are some that feel this is unnatural or even unhealthy and that is fine- they are entitled to their feelings and by the same token so are we. I had spoken to my oldest friend who got rather unnerved by those that would judge. She isn’t a member here but did see BBM with me and totally gets this forum and in her words “When I heard about it I was sad for him, for his daughter, for his family and friends and sad for all of you on the forum because I know what he means to you (all of us) and what he brought to you.” There was more but she feels it is totally natural and sees nothing odd about the way we all feel and I know she means that because she’d have told me the opposite if she felt it. And due to certain things, I did speak about it with my therapist last week and long story short she feels the same as my friend- there is absolutely nothing wrong with mourning this loss. She had even called me on that night in January to check on me when she heard the news. I had told her about the memorial we left in EC and she thought it was wonderful, in some ways healing and that no one can quantify someone else’s grief- how they grieve, how long they grieve, who they mourn or even why we do. She said it is totally normal especially considering that he meant something in our lives.
When I was in California a whole lifetime ago, my main goal was to go visit Marilyn Monroe’s grave to pay my respects- which I did and I had my walkman and played “Candle in the Wind” and this was a woman who was dead almost a decade before I was even born. I guess that is not really necessary to include in my ramble here but for some reason I felt like saying it. And I guess it kind of goes to the point that we can care for someone we never knew. I know personally I still cry on Sept 11. I (fortunately) didn’t know one person lost that day but did that make me any less sad or heartbroken? No. I cried over Oklahoma City, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami etc and I didn’t cry for the moment, I followed those stories and wept for those I never knew existed, for a long while.
Do we need to actually know someone to feel anything for them? No, at least IMO. There is a difference in that we had a connection to him, felt we knew him through different mediums and do we love him? You bet. Do we need to justify our feelings? Nope. And I, for one, am so glad to have this place that allows us to express ourselves freely, where we are never alone, to be with those that understand and to not question or be questioned about our feelings. :ghug: to everyone
Twenty-two weeks later
You are still here
I can pretend you went somewhere
Doing a shoot in a location far far away
But the reality of missing you
Hit once in a while like a ton of bricks
When out of the blue
A line in a news article saying
You meant to walk the Great Wall with your friends
Would put me into tears and thoughts of you return
For days and days again
I can pretend you went away
Making more great movies and so I wait
For the movies to come out, and I wait
Buying your masterpieces like Candy and Monster's Ball
Pretending they are still new and fresh
But the heart sees through all pretenses
And nothing can hide the missing of you
Twenty-two weeks or twenty-two years
When the cold cruel world lies and cheats and steals
I think of your warm smile, and feel that you are near
I see the sun and the sand and the surf on the shore
I see the happy sweet life in Shelter
And feel again what you intended us to be
You are as real now, as you ever were, as you alway will be
That' s wonderful,Andrew;thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Heath with us¡ :^^) Yes,twenty-two weeks that seemed so unreal when we thought about that January 22nd.Something like a bad joke,that we can understand nor accept although we know that,unluckily,it's true...I think of your warm smile, and feel that you are near...It's where he's now,in our minds,in our souls,in our hearts,forever. :\'((https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi46.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff150%2FLawtowns_Brasileira%2FHeath321.jpg&hash=cc704028cae5a202c86537f9edbce2d7dd56fa89)
I had an experience in school today as well Emelie..Today, for over 3 per., all the Junior student had to go to the Auditorium for a Presentation on Drunk driving. The speaker was an truly amazing man, he got everyones attention, making us laugh, and make us cry (even guys). He was a retired police man, and he told us of experiences he had encountered over the years. Such as boy, named Michael, who was hit by a car, resulting in a head on collision with a tree. He was pronounced dead at the scene. He was only 17 and was a week away from graduation. He wanted to become a caretaker for underprivileged children. It took the speaker awhile to calm down while he told the story, especially when he told about his dad's reaction. I could only begin to image what my family would've gone through. He went through other stories as well and finally, before his time was up, he put on a CD and the song "Forever Young", played through the speakers. That really got to me..
After the man spoke, someone else came up. I'm not sure if I told you this story before but a girl in my school, named Angelica, was only 14, when she hit by a man under the influence of heroine, from the side of the car. Her mom began to speak to us, holding back the tears with every world she spoke. Again, I couldn't even try and imagine what she was going through. They took her to the hospital but nothing could be done, and she died, the same week that Heath was found dead, in his hotel apartment.
I know that most of this had nothing really to do with Heath, well, not until I saw this girl walking back to her seat. I presumed she was one of the girl's friends, because she was wearing a shirt which was in memory of her. I'm not sure what it said on the front, since she was pretty far away, but as she started to leave and go back to her seat, I saw, in big red and black letters "FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS". Immediately, I looked down at my wristband. It was almost the same as FC's quote, "For a moment in our lives, forever in our hearts". Except in the front, it had said "Gone but not forgotten". I know it's not much but it made me think, a lot. I thought, why, do these people, who could've changed the world, who were good people, have to be the ones to be taken so quickly from us? No matter if its someone we knew all our lives, or someone we had never met, they somehow, made a difference in our lives. And in that moment, I realized what my wristband is all about. Sure, it is a tribute to Heath, but the deeper meaning, is a tribute to a young person, innocent but bold, and old soul that only, for a short while, got their chance to shine. Heath, Angelica, Michael, all seemed like they were old souls, all looked at the world in a different way, yet was never able to go on with their plans...why?
Since this is the "In Loving Memory" thread, we should keep the memories "Loving"
We are all different people who mourn in their own way.
We can't say how people should cope with their feelings, so it's nobodies business but theirs.
The best thing we can do is support each other in our feelings and be there for each other.
And I for one, am very happy to have such supporting people with me.
Whether they dream, write down their thoughts or just want to remember him, we should respect their feelings.
So Heath baby, this one is for you, because I want to remember you with a smile!!
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi237.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff160%2FGriesmeelpudding%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fbw-heath50.jpg&hash=b5bcd807b73050592b834a753f5b16a26881ae05)
your smile can light my life
your smile can make it happy
so smile.
your smile
your smile can turn me up side down
your smile can get me back
so smile.
your smile gives me the strength
your smile makes me forget my weakness
so smile.
your smile is the fountain of felicity
your smile is full of so much cheer
i would love to be under that the fountain
for ever
so smile.
I find this thread and some of the views expressed increasingly worrying. It may be legitimate to mourn the loss of perceived potential but beyond that I think one should not go.
I saw this and truly began to fear responding....fear that I'd say something in anger and annoyance that I would later regret, so I'll try keep this as short as possible.
First, I see that I'm behind in responding to this, it was said, people responded, now lets move on. Except I think it's important to point out why I'm behind in responding. It's because I don't spend all day, everyday, sitting in Heath's memorial thread crying and screaming WHY! I come here when I need to come here, and that's why this thread still exists, because people's need to come here still exists. And if someone else no longer gets that need...then stay out of here. Just like when people didn't like Brokeback existing, if you don't want to see it, turn the channel.
I think it's really sad that there seems to have been a line drawn across the entire ennisjack forum dividing those that agree with the memorial thread, and those that don't. This isn't what brought us to this site, and it is not what continues to hold us here. What brought me here personally was a want, and a need, to go to a place and not be judged for loving and respecting something that is much bigger than myself. What I found here was a group of people that have given me a whole new perspective on loving and respecting my own self, and my beliefs...as well others'.
Do I see a post sometimes and think, "wow, they really seem way too upset about someone they didn't know personally"? Yes I do. Then a song, or a film, or something comes on, and suddenly I'm really upset, and that judgement of others completely dissapears, and I regret ever having that judgement in the first place. We have no right to decide what is an acceptable mourning period for others anymore that we have the right to decide who lives or dies. Maybe there is higher power that has the right to decide those things, I certainly hope there is, but I seriously doubt if he does, he has an ennisjack account.
This thread is not about judgement, it's about the love and loss of someone who was very real, and talented.
I did not "perceive his potential" I simply appreciated the fact of it's existence.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi258.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh264%2Fjessicat80%2FHL%2Fheath_making_morning_yearning.jpg&hash=de0ac9fd5878912fe4e34b960eb6f2983c26a2c2)
M Scott Peck said that a community is where people can disagree gracefully, can fight and argue, and remain a family. It is a place where everyone can be a leader, and a follower. It is a place where above all else, the individual is respect as much as the group. It is a place where shared values bind everyone's actions and motivation together function in a cohesive consistent pattern, like a dance.
I have just witnessed this community in action, and it's beautiful. Thank you everyone. You dance beautifully.
:ghug: <^( :^^)
Why do I love this place? Let me count the ways; let me count the individuals here... :ghug:
Sometimes, I think life goes on
Listening to Shelter's happy tunes
Feeling the warm caress of the sun
Enjoying the ocean breeze in my hair
Watching the golden sunset on my way home
Then I read about Ennis and Jack
Then I find an old interview of Jake's
And another old interview of Ang Lee's
And I wanted to find one of Heath's
And I realized, the absence of the interview
And I felt, the absence of the man
And I am grateful to remember
And I am thankful to share a happy sunny day
With the memory of the absence of the sunny smile
That warms my heart for all the rest of my days
I was glancing through one of the movie rag magazines and came across a lovely picture of Michelle and Matilda walking along a street in NYC. Matilda was wearing a little sundress, and the look on her face was 100% Heath. That was time for a cry. This little child will always be a reminder of our buddy; she carries his persona on her face. Will she be like him in any other way? Probably, since genetics are so powerful. So, in the midst of the darkness brought by Heath's absence, Matilda brings us light, joy and fond memories of her daddy.
We can continue to grieve; however, we need to look for ways to heal, too.
I am worried that I will not be able to attend a theatre showing of TDK. Everytime I see a poster of Heath as The Joker, I cry. I want so badly to see the film, but feel it will open up all the wounds again. (Just some ruminations from my sick mind.....)
Ok, tell me if I'm being goofy here, but Tony gave me an idea when he said that maybe we could wear a ribbon or a particular color as our own symbol when we go to see TDK. What if we simply all wore something stripey, in honor of Heath's fondness for stripes and the wonderfully odd way that he wore them?
Again, if that's goofy, it's ok to say so. Just a thought that popped into my head. And it doesn't require a particular uniform code, so we could all participate in our own way. What do you think?
im up for that :), i can go buy a stipy sweater... with orange and greay stipes :P, i love that sweater :P
I love it, Barb!! In fact I have something stripey already!! <^( <^( <^(
I think its a great idea Barb!!! :clap: I'll definitely wear something striped/brightly coloured.....I love this idea.
Great idea, I'm up for stripes :clap:
Yay. :clap: Now I just have to figure out which stripes to wear. :s)
If I wear jeans, I'll have a ton of stripey socks to choose from!! But I want the stripes to be on show.... ;D ;D
Me too Christie. ;D
I think I'll take a picture of me at the theater in my stripes. :)
That's so cool.....but dont expect a pic of me!! ;D But I'll take a pic of my stripes...
That'll do. O0 ;D
Well, since that pretty much discribes over half my wardrobe, I'd have to say, I'm in :)
...and don't forget the dirty shoes ;D I'll wear my yellow sneakers :)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapu.mabul.org%2Fup%2Fapu%2F2008%2F03%2F08%2Fimg-0108128vy5x.jpg&hash=12039e28412deec3fd77dcc798e86b5a6db9e5a7) (http://mabul.org/)
YAY for scruffy shoes!!! My shoes are naturally like that I dont have to do anything to them. I have a pair of doc martens I've had for years that will be perfect... :)
Ohh, dirty shoes...but I dont have any...I guess I have to fix that ;)
Oh yeah, dirty shoes!! I can manage that with all the rain we have here these days!! Wonderful!!! I'm gonna be Heath now, well, girl version. <^( <^( <^( I'm so excited!!
There's no problem with old shoes;I'll look for them in my old object's wardrobe ¡ :) But I don't know when I'll find something striped,because I think I have nothing... :-\\
well how about something thats brightly coloured, instead, not necessarily striped?
Do you have a paint brush, or a magic marker? ;D
FlowerChild, you're on a roll. A ribbon is for tidal waves in Asia, cancers, POW's, etc, and are very legitimate, but one more ribbon says nothing - striped clothing says: Heath. But now I have to go burrowing through old clothes until I find something sufficiently bohemian. Oh, what the heck - I'll show up WITH stripes, WITH a ribbon, and if I can figure out what Matt's Heath bracelet is like, will get me one of those,too. Plus the sunglasses.
Am serious. OK, I may just do the stripes. Depends on who I go with and what their tolerance level is. FlowerChild...this one works. Thanks.
I love it Jess! ;D
I have been known to decorate an occasional shirt with permanent marker.
But really, even a little ribbon with stripes, or as christie said, something that's brightly colored. It's the thought, not the outfit, that counts. :)
I have some stripey socks and will be sure to wear them to the viewing :)
Oh the sunglasses, I saw red ones the other day and I wanted to buy them so badly just because Heath had them...well now I have another reason to buy them ;)
Bought 'em Monday ;D
Oh Michelle, please take a pic of you wearing the socks! ;D(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi258.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh264%2Fjessicat80%2FHL%2Fheath-ledger-waldo-socks.jpg&hash=20c11d636513a56844e11e3fe2aaf22311e55e9a)
That's a good idea, Tony, and I hadn't thought of it. Wear a ribbon, or our ennisjack Heath memorial button, or something. I will do that.
kathy
OK, need to find striped socks now, huh? ???
I went in closet and chose a favorite stripey blouse :)
kathy
Great post, Tony! I WILL force myself to see TDK at the theatre. Who would pass up a chance to see Heath on the big screen? But I'll be going alone, since none of my friends share my taste in movies when they vere off the beaten path of romantic comedies! Actually, I can't wait to see it, but wish I had a bunch of brokies to go with. Oh, pitiful me....LOL
I have a stripey shirt and stripey socks, I'll make sure to wear them. That's a wonderful way to honor him, thanks for the idea Barb.
Lamusica, you might consider going outside your circle of friends, fess up to being a Brokie, and scout around for an acquaintance, maybe even from your church, for what should be....an expedition. You might be surprised at who just might be interested. But, either way, if you have to go it alone (which may also happen, for me, too), leave an empty seat beside you. Brokies are never really alone. Pat the seat, with a smile, settle in. We'll be there. As for me, I will be greatly interested in your take on Heath's performance and the film itself, and will be looking for your reaction on the TDK thread. Much love-Tony.
I haven't posted on here in awhile! I just read everyone's recent post and I love the idea of wearing something significant when going to see TDK. For some of the members that are confused, the Heath braclet, was an idea I had about a month ago in which I sent to Emelie in Sweden and Matt in England. I also have 4 friends who are wearing it at my school. I had more but they have been misplaced through my house, but I'm hoping to find them again soon!
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"For a moment in our lives, forever in our hearts"
I love the idea of wearing a striped shirt or something similar to that! My mom might have striped socks, because I know I sure don't ;D I'll ask my friends what they think about the idea because on the weekend TDK comes out, 10 of my friends, are all going to see the film together. I'm hoping to get a picture with all of us together, possibly wearing the Heath bracelets, in memorium of our beloved Heath.
over the last few days my grieving has changed somewhat, i mean i still miss heath like crazy and im still obviously upset about everything. but i feel now that well when i think of heath its from the view of remembering him and waiting to see him again not from the old place of wishing i was with him now and tat being dead would just be easier. i think it was about a week ago these changes started to begin. but now i feel i can have a smile on my face when i say "heath i miss you, see you again someday".
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa55%2Fsuarezsanchez%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2520In%2520Memoriam%2Fheathqi6.jpg&hash=10cdf784b914016495516d8790d43a2fa8dc5403)Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are ...Fragment of "To where you are",by Josh Groban
I found this picture of Lily Cole and her tattoed heart - the one she and Heath's other fellow cast mates had tattoed in his memory.
I hope you can see it clearly enough.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2FBrokeback%2520Mountain%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fscan23-6-200819h33m58s.jpg&hash=b052127a7d83972463ef96d150e8256c60c55f69)
It's nice to actually have a good close up pic of the tattoo, it's so hard to see Verne's, but it also kind of feels like she's showing it off( I don't think she is, it just appears that way because the photagrapher zoomed in).
I think if I ever got something, I would want it where is wasn't so obvious, you know...just for me. But I don't think I will, I just don't want something that reminds me of him to become common place, like, you just get used to seeing it to the point that the meaning is not there anymore. I don't know.
Has anyone ever gotten a tat to remember someone; did the feeling last?
Oh, and these are the sunglasses I got for the premiere, I love that a bunch of us are wearing things that remind us of him <^((https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi258.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh264%2Fjessicat80%2FHL%2Fheath-ledger-red-sunglasses-03.jpg&hash=bb3590c60b1df1d7ce7d2de1ffe1b9bb8d070bd0)
Wristband from Lis and I got the glasses today <^( <^( <^(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2F2008-06-25-58881.jpg&hash=dadef9262b6b09b37ccca62f429d946e6f8ccdc1)
Someone said that its not so bad
Someone said that the tears will stop
Soneone said that it will get better
Someone said that now its time to stop with the crying
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2FphotoshootseriesG1.jpg&hash=90dc22d6ae14fb50785bb2bc83e22b9629f5ef96)
I said that this is bad
I said that the tears wont stop
I said that it wont get better, because he’s not comming back
I said that I cant stop crying
My friends and I do not just weep.
It’s not only a somber vigil that we keep.
We celebrate our memories
And share our smiles and tears.
We honor one we care about
And will throughout the years.
And on the days it hurts too much,
We always know we’ll find
A shoulder to lean on,
An ear to listen,
A loving and open mind.
A heart full of love is not a bad thing
And friends who will share that
Are a wonderful blessing.
So thank you my friends
for the gift of your love,
and telling me here I have nothing to prove.
It’s so nice in these times to not be alone.
I cherish you all, and this beautiful home. :ghug:
HELLO,I´m new here and I was fan of Heath.I can`t believe that he is dead.. Though it has been already a six month..I´m sorry about my bad english.I hope that I can talk here with you. :)
IVE BEEN A FAN OF HEATH LEDGER SINCE I FIRST LAID EYES ON HIM IN 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU HE JUST OWNED THE SCREEN AND SHOT TO THE STARS HIS PERFORMANCES GOT BETTER AND BETTER AND SOMETHING LIKE BBM AND BATMAN I CAN ONLY USE A WORD LIKE TRANSCENDANT HE WAS FRANKLY BRILLIANT :clap:HUMBLE AND WILLING TO NOT RELY ON JUST BEING THE BLOND PRETTY BOY SOME IN THE BUSINESS WANTED HIM TO BE AFTER 10 THINGS, AND SO HIS DEATH HIT ME HARD HIM AND JAKE WERE ONE OF THE FEW WHO I TRULY BELIEVED TO BE READY TO MOVE PASSED THE BRADS,WILL'S TOM'S AND GEORGE'S JUST AS THAT GROUP MOVED PAST THE REDFORDS,NICHOLSONS,HOFFMANS AND THE REST ITS JUST A NATURAL PROGRESSION THEREFOR WHEN I WENT OUT OF MY APT IN NYC TO RUN A SIMPLE ERRAND AT THE DRUG STORE I BELIEVED THAT THE ONLY BIG NEWS OF DISSCUSSION WOULD BE THE NOMINATIONS FOR WHICHEVER AWARDS SHOW THAT ESCAPES ME AND THAT AMY WINEHOUSE VIDEO ::) I CAME HOME THE KEY WAS STILL IN THE DOOR AND I ONLY HAD ONE FOOT INSIDE WHEN MY BROTHER SAID UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS BUT THEY FOUND HEATH LEDGER DEAD! :-\\ :\'( I WAS STUNNED AND MADE HIM REPEAT AT LEAST 15 TIMES AND IT STILL DIDNT REGISTER THAT COULDNT BE POSSIBLE NOT WHEN HE HAD SO MUCH LEFT TO GIVE TO THIS WORLD AS A PERSON BUT A FATHER AS WELL :\'(WHICH IS THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF ALL I GENERALLY HAVE A HARD TIME WHEN A YOUNG PERSON DIES FAMOUS OR NOT SO THIS WAS NO EXCEPTION MAY HE TRULY REST IN PEACE AND I WISH HIS FAMILY, MICHELLE AND BABY MATILDA AND FRIENDS ALL THE PEACE AND HAPPINESS THEY CAN FIND AND A HUG FOR ALL HIS FANS :ghug:
Ok, bear with me. I think this is going to be a little garbled. I found some videos on imdb today and one of them was from the 2006 AFI Awards. I'd seen this footage before and settled in to enjoy it again. It's funny and sweet and I was laughing and smiling. It was five minutes in before I realized there was a tear in my eye as well. The point being that this is how it happens so often, for me anyway. It just sort of sneaks up on you, even in those moments that you're just enjoying the memory or celebrating his spirit. And it's not a big display, and it doesn't ruin the moment. I think it's just an indication that you cared about him and your body has the instinct to still feel those things and express them even when you're not consciuosly aware of it. I don't know if that made any sense. It's just the thought that popped into my head when I noticed it. Then the rest of the video was a little more bittersweet so the tear fit right into the tone. This it the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wYrn6tOhN0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wYrn6tOhN0)
Then I watched the next video that was posted and now my little tear turned into a big puddle. It is beautiful and heartbreaking. I'd recommend tissues. I'm sorry if it hurts, but I couldn't not share it. :ghug: to all. Thanks for listening to me ramble.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvXAdmNaaGE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvXAdmNaaGE)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fbbm2%2Fhl17.jpg&hash=79cd827ce7fa6f43a02243ce91351f91c0c5e1da)
Le temps qu’il nous reste
Quelle importance le temps qu'il nous reste
Nous aurons la chance de vieillir ensemble
Au fond de tes yeux vivra ma tendresse
Au fond de mon cœur vivra ta jeunesse
Comme une prière du temps de l'enfance
Ces mots sur tes lèvres me donnent confiance
Je nous imagine ta main dans la mienne
Nos moindres sourires voudront dire je t'aime
Mais l'un de nous s'en ira le premier
Il fermera ses yeux à jamais
Dans un tout dernier sourire
Et l'autre en perdant la moitié de sa vie
Restera chaque jour dans la nuit
Son cœur bien sûr battra mais pour qui mais pourquoi
Ton pas résonne la porte s'entrouvre
Mon cœur bat plus vite et je te retrouve
Quand nos mains se tiennent j'oublie tout le reste
J'ai l'impression même que le temps s'arrête
Mais l'un de nous s'en ira le premier
Il fermera ses yeux à jamais
Dans un tout dernier sourire
Un jour l'un de nous sera trop fatigué
S'en ira presque heureux le premier
Et l'autre s'en tarder viendra le retrouver
Je nous imagine ta main dans la mienne
Nos moindres sourires voudront dire je t'aime
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fbbm2%2Fnormal_0057E8.jpg&hash=0dc502d1cac2fd8be714959597cf344f303ded4e)
The time we have left
How important time we have left
We will have the chance to grow old together
At the bottom of your eyes live my tenderness
At the bottom of my heart will live your youth
As a prayer in children time
These words on your lips give me confidence
I imagine us your hand in mine
Our smiles least want to say I love you
But one of us will be the first to leave
He closed his eyes forever
In a final smile
And another losing half of his life
It remains each day in the night
His heart beat, of course, but for that but why
Your footstep resonate the door is open
My heart beats faster and I'll find
When our hands are held I forget everything else
I have the feeling that the clock stops
But one of us will be the first
He closed his eyes forever
In a final smile
One day one of us will be too tired
And will go almost glad the first
And I will soon come and let's meet
I imagine us your hand in mine
Our smiles least want to say I love you
Selfish angels,
why?
a thousand years
your blink,
our
tens and tens of lifetimes
each
measured by forever,
lived a minute
you just couldn't wait?
I hope our tears
stain your wings,
salt the crystal sea,
our painful cry
echo beyond celestial music.
Selfish angels,
why?
I just got this in my email and thought i'd share. Apparently George Carlin (may he RIP) wrote this right after his wife died.
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?
George Carlin
Touching Shoulders
There's a comforting thought at the close of the day,
When I'm weary and lonely and sad,
That sort of grips hold of my aching sore heart
It bids it be merry and glad.
It gets in my soul and it drives out the blues,
And finally thrills through and through.
It is just a sweet memory that chants the refrain:
"I'm glad I touched shoulders with you!"
Did you know you were brave, did you know you were strong?
Did you know there was one leaning hard?
Did you know that I waited and listened and prayed,
And was cheered by your simplest word?
Did you know what I longed for that smile on your face,
For the sound of your voice ringing true?
Did you know I grew stronger and better because
I had merely touched shoulders with you?
I am glad that I live, that I battle and strive
For the place that I know I must fill;
I am thankful for sorrows, I'll meet with a grin
What fortunes may send, good or ill.
I may have great wealth, I may not be brave.
But I know I shall always be true,
For I have in my life that courage you gave
When once I rubbed shoulders with you.-Unknown-
Today I miss him more than ever.
Yes Tammy, it's wonderful and hits me on so many levels. :\'( <^(
Especially:Did you know you were brave, did you know you were strong?
Did you know there was one leaning hard?
Did you know that I waited and listened and prayed,
And was cheered by your simplest word?
Did you know what I longed for that smile on your face,
For the sound of your voice ringing true?
Did you know I grew stronger and better because
I had merely touched shoulders with you?
It's so hard for me to express sometimes all the ways my feelings about Heath converge with my feelings about all of you, and the changes that have occurred in my life since what he and Jake (and Ang and Annie) did. The pieces of me that were reopened by BBM, and revitalized and healed by knowing you, are profoundly grateful for what he and Jake did (and the gracious way they did it) and how that touched me. Two years later, I really feel that I did grow stronger and better because I had merely touched shoulders with you, and in some extended way, with him. And for that, I am more thankful than you, or he, will ever know.
%) friends. Truly. And Heath too. And I don't give a damn anymore if people don't understand that.
Sorry, I'm very tired right now. But I meant every word. :ghug:
I am a person who finds it unacceptable when a young person dies famous or not its not a natural order rather it be accident, murder, illness, whatever I felt the same way when it was the singer AAliayah, Brandon Lee, John F.Kennedy Jr., Tupac, Biggie Smalls and they all died within the last 12 years and you know what I still feel the lost because each of them had something to bring to music,movies and politics that is sorely needed right now and it will be no different in 10, 20, 30 years when I look back and see Heath Ledger's name added to this sad list they say time heals all wounds I'm not sure about that anymore
I don't think the hurt ever goes away; it just becomes incorporated with the rest of who you are, and you carry it with you along with all of the wonderful memories that gave you a reason to hurt when you lost that person. And all of the lessons you learned, or the things you felt, help shape who you are for the rest of your life. Do I wish it were different? Oh God yes. Do I wish it didn't hurt? Of course. Would I have missed this ride, and feeling the things I feel about him, for anything in the world? Not a chance. He's worth the pain. And having all of you in my life makes it all that much more worth it. :ghug:
It's still hard for me to believe and realize he's not in this world anymore. His death was so sudden and tragic. I loved Heath, he was such a wonderful actor. He would have only gotten better with age and it pains me to know he will never be able to show us that.
I'm sorry for the deaths of those young people, so many more, so many, yet the loss doesn't take my breath, make my gut feel much like Ennis in that alley, haunt me. He was incredibly special.
jessi
To quote Jack Twist: "There ain't ever enough time"
However, long we live, we have a tendency to get lazy and adopt do it tomorrow attitude. But life's too short whether we live to 28 or 82 or over a 100.
We'll never understand why any young person is taken way before their time and when we lose an older loved one we still ask if only I'd had one more chance, one more drink etc. But the world's a mysterious place & to not have that mystery would make our lives unnecessary.
Best thing we can do is make the most of every second (as Heath did in my opinion) & love those around us.
Hopefully, what awaits us after this life is a little more relaxing.
I love how everyone share their thoughts in here, it really shows Heath the respect, that he truly deserves.
Time has passed, and I still can't freaking believe, that he's gone. I am probably never going to understand, why this had to happen. Heath was an extraordinary actor, he was truly unique and inspirering. Of course, I didn't knew him in person. But in the shows he was in, interviews with him and stuff like that - I really got the feeling, that he was really smart, but yet shy in some way. He was not like other actors, he knew what he was doing. it's hard to describe, but to me he really was like no other actor in the world. It is so unfair, that he is not here anymore - There is no doubt about, that he'll always be remembered.
10 things I hate about you was on TV last night - It is one of my favorite movies, and I just lost control and started crying. It's freaking unfair, that I now have a hard time enjoying Heaths amazing work, because it reminds me of his death and makes me cry like crazy. I'm never going to stop watching his movies though.
And Brokeback mountain is the best movie, I have ever seen in my entire life. It has taught me a lot about love and life. It's an amazing movie for him to be remembered by. And it's for sure, that he always will be remembered. And he'll always live through his daughter, family and those, who were close to him.
Heath, hope you have a sky up there to hold on too. :\'(
BTW, ~) - I don't speak English that well, I'm from Europe. Hope it's not completely wrong. Just really wanted to join and share some thoughts about this talented, amazing guy. Cause he deserves all the thoughts in the world.
:\'( Having just joined the forum, I have been wiped out by the sentiments I have been able to see, both in the numbers and content. Its almost six months later and the pain still is the same. I thank everyone for sharing their sentiments.
I have only read this in one other place and have been surprised to not see it mentioned again. In the last scenes, when Ennis finds his shirt inside Jack's (in Jack's closet), with Jack's shirt holding his, I lost it. Then later in the last scene in the trailer when you see the shirts reversed, with Ennis' shirt on the outside holding Jack, I lost it again. Both scenes were so touching, and I read that the changing of the shirts was Heath's idea, not Ang Lee. Sometimes it is still hard to separate Heath from Ennis. RIP Heath, you will be in our hearts and memories for such a long time to come.
It's still three days before his six-month anniversary, and I am at the point where Heath is surreal, a legend that has lived forever and will live forever in his movies. I watched A Knight's Tale again, and the first part of Brokeback Mountain (before the FNIT), and surprisingly few tears came. While watching the movie, Heath is still alive, and vibrant and real. It is only afterwards, out of the blue, reading tributes to his movies, and thinking about something he quoted, that sadness descends like a fog over a noisy city, and the silence speaks loudly of the impact of the man whom I've never met, but will forever love.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi72.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi170%2Ftydrukuke999%2FCelebrities%2Fwallpapers%2F9d15c632.jpg&hash=3ada0f3684db84391ba9429414dea929f9cc3dfe)[SIX MONTHS WITHOUT YOU ALREADY;SIX MONTHS KNOWING THAT THERE'S A STAR THAT SHINES MORE THAN THE OTHERS.AND WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE THIS STAR,BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN CALLED TO HEAVEN SO THAT THE ANGELS ENJOY YOUR SKILLS.BUT SINCE THEN WE NEED THEM AND MISS THEM HERE...HEATH,WE SWEAR...
6 months.
I still wonder how is that possible, that you're not here. I still don't understand how, and why, of all the people in the world, how could it have happened to you. Why you.
I can't believe that I'll never see new photos of you in this or that event, attending premieres and film festivals, or just wandering around in the streets of Manhatten with Matilda on your shoulders, wearing your stripey clothes and bright colors. I can't believe that I won't see you walking the red carpet again wearing your old scruffy shoes. That I won't hear any new interviews with you, talking in that deep, low, sexy voice that I love so much. That I won't hear about any new movies that you're filming, and get all excited when I'm waiting to see your incredible talent shine on the screen again. That there won't be anything new to look forward to.
I know I've never met you, but I miss you so much.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%2FheathdirectingBensvideoclip-1.jpg&hash=037aff48206d9a57c330737c353c820cd9ef0862)
Heath you will always be remembered, in loving memory of you(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi237.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff160%2FGriesmeelpudding%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fheathledger4.jpg&hash=f04011246698b996560c6a9e9000204ae7e831ec)Brokeback Mountain was the first movie I saw
With you in it and it kept me in awe
Atfer that I was hooked on your face
On your big wide smile and your eyes full of grace
I saw every movie that you were in
And I fell in love with your infectious grin
Evening after evening curled up in my seat
I watched you, you made me complete
Then the news came that you died
I felt ripped apart, completely, inside
I couldn't believe that you were gone
And I cried my eyes out from dusk til dawn
It's been six months now and I still can't believe
That you are gone, but I am naive
You seem so alive now The dark Night arrived
It feels like you're here and that you survived
The Joker is one of your best performances so far
Including the role of Ennis, what made you a superstar
I haven't seen it yet, but I will in a day
And I know you won't disappoint me and blow me away
My sweet Heath I wish you were here
To hear the standing ovations at the premier
They are all for you and you deserve them so much
An amazing actor with a wonderful touch
I still miss you every single day
I hope you can feel our love and that you're okay
And although we are a thousand miles apart
I will continue loving you with all of my heart
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FEnnis2%2F005BBM_Heath_Ledger_025.jpg&hash=9254c8892970c6918678a1c0fbdae26a7de81ac2)
Miss ya cowboy!
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fcandle-2.gif&hash=304adb39a895f3cff96b21a32e7b69000ab51902)
I wasn't going to try and put thoughts into words today - it seemed too difficult to find words among the loss I have felt. But when I saw the tribute Chameau posted, the candles surrounding Heath on his horse, riding away, I admit I cried. I am 71 years old and this is the first time in my life I have been so touched by the loss of someone I never met in person. But I did meet him on the silver screen, the symbol of his craft. What he left us in Brokeback Mountain was a picture of a tormented, lonely person who wanted to love and be loved, and both didn't know how and was afraid to. In the role of Ennis del Mar Heath left us a legacy, that of a young actor committed to his craft as no one else I have seen in years. He was singularly able to reach out and touch the hearts of so many people so deeply that he will never by forgotten. The admiration, devotion and respect felt by so many is indeed a tribute to his memory, both as an artist and as a person. As time passes our tears may lessen, but there will always be a sadness in our hearts for his having been taken before his time, and our thoughts of what might have been. Rest in peace, Heath. ^f^
Some of the brightest stars shining in the heavens today burned out centuries ago. But though they are no longer alive, they continue to light our way, brighten our skies, and inspire our hearts. Beauty never dies; it is just sometimes seen from a greater distance.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn264%2Fbpoz%2FHeath%2F0805211121533377702.jpg&hash=52a83f2a8d3454fbfa2ab4c0a099b4bbab94cb54)
Barb :\'( :ghug:(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe163%2Fluvjacknasty%2FHeath%2Fnkc50.jpg&hash=edcfe8769b3bc0f29aa51ad83506c2efb9059473)
"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller
I took this pic on his last birthday at Cottesloe... omg.... I was crying so hard after that.... :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg234.imageshack.us%2Fimg234%2F8128%2F0005acq9bp0.jpg&hash=61e79851ac96fb701ce2ba11cbbe1a4c45837cb4)
Ten months ago I watched you as Ennis
And my heart opened in ways that I never thought possible
Ennis was there to stay
And my life changed forever
Six months ago Ennis gave way
From the center stage in my mind
To make room for memories and tributes of you
The person I never knew
Yesterday when I put on the button in public
In Memory of You
Today when I told people why I go to your movies
And meet others from this place
I know you will be here, for good.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FBrokeback%2FBrokebackpressToronto15b-1.jpg&hash=b6f780bdac501fff07315178e47c1c3ae20087e3)
"...You've captured my love
Stolen my heart
Changed my life
Every time you make a move
You destroy my mind
And the way you touch
I lose control and shiver deep inside
You take my breath away...
...So please don't go
Don't leave me here all by myself
I get ever so lonely from time to time
I will find you
Anywhere you go, I'll be right behind you
Right until the ends of the earth
I'll get no sleep till I find you to tell you
That you just take my breath away"
(You Take My Breath Away - Queen)
I don't know what happened today, darling, maybe it's the joker and the promotion everywhere but I was watching your photos and videos and then I started uncontrollably crying. I can't believe you are gone, love. You were so beautiful and sweet. Everytime I see your gentle brown beautiful eyes I am captured in pain. You touch my inner being anytime I see your photos or hear your voice. I cannot watch your movies since then. I haven't. I don't know if I am ever gonna be able. Brokeback would definitely kill me. Such a pain that movie brings and the thing you are dead it would be too much to handle.
I wanna tell you that I love you. I love you very much with all my heart. I can't stop crying beloved, it is so unfair you are gone and . . . what comes to my mind? Why you and not someone else? I shouldn't be thinking like that but I can't help myself.
I know you must be somewhere, in other dimension, I believe you didn't leave. I hope this place is something nice and pri´vate where you are not inruded by the Hollywood frenzy. I love you. I am so happy I had discovered you for myself before you passed away.
I love you, truly from my heart. N.
As time goes on, am having fewer bad Heath days. They are now fairly rare, but I have one today and am not sure if this belongs in this thread or the other one.
Am kind of angry, as it sinks in that, in his last few years, Heath was accumulating....enemies. It's been lightly mentioned in this forum, the obvious ones, particularly the weird religious cult churches that made the early formal memorial services, and even the funeral arrangements in Perth, a nightmare as far as security.
But there's been more that's come out, over the months. Heath had been speaking up against Australian involvement in the war in Iraq. He also was wild for the Sea Shepherd's group and was planning to do a documentary film on them. That hardly sat well with the U.S. government, since the FBI had asked congress to define them as an eco-terrorist outlaw organization.
And then there was his emerging opposition to the huge construction project in Brooklyn, which has been described as the biggest development project in any city, ever. Big money.
He was, then, becoming more of an activist, towards the end, and you can't do that without rattling the cages of powerful people. So, am a little angry. And I wonder... was that a smirk I saw on the police commissioner of N.Y.'s face as he held news conferences?
I don't know what we owe to Heath, these months later. Loyalty means different things to different people. I feel uneasy bringing these matters up.
And am not pursuing them. But, to me, loyalty means not forgetting what was important to him and also remembering there were those who did not like where he was headed. If that puts me in the doggie-house, well, it won't be the first time. Saying he was a good guy is so easy to do. Saying why he was a good guy, that he had a conscience, may not be to the liking of some.
Tony, let me start by saying that I'm glad to hear you have fewer bad Heath days. I think we all want that, don't we? To remember him with a smile, not with sadness... which is not always that easy, but we all want to get there eventually, and I believe Heath would've wanted that too.
I have a lot of appreciation for people who voice their opinions and fight for what they believe, even if other people might not approve of that. Naturally, I mainly appreciate that when they fight for the same things that I believe in... ;D There is a song by Mama Cass, called "Make Your Own Kind Of Music", that I love very much. The chorus goes like this:
"You've gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along".
I believe that Heath was the kind of person who made his own kind of music, whether other people liked it or not, and a part of it was becoming more of an activist and voicing his opinions out loud. When you do that you risk making enemies... or maybe enemies is a strong word in this case, I would say opponents. I'm sure not everyone liked what he had to say (yes, I remember that interview when he made his opinion about the war in Iraq very known and clear) but isn't that the way of the world? We can't all have the same opinions and when you voice out your beliefs, not everyone's going to like them. Don't let that get to you. But you're right, Heath was a man with a conscience, and I appreciate that about him.
And on that day, the Father looked down and said 'HEATH, MY SON,YOU LOOK TIRED. YOU HAVE DONE SO VERY WELL WITH THE MANY TASKS I HAVE SET FOR YOU'.
'AND NOW, IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO COME HOME'.
'I HAVE SET WATCH OVER YOUR DAUGHTER, MATILDA, AND MY ANGELS COME EVEN NOW TO LIFT YOU HERE TO BE WITH ME'.
And Heath looked around one last time, smiled, and said, 'THANK YOU, FATHER, I'M COMING :)'.
Just watched "The Dark Knight" last night.
Heath, you did it again. You blew me away!!
I've only been swept off my feet like that once before - by Ennis.
I thought I was going to cry, but there wasn't really time, you know? ???
The Joker was phenomenon and everytime he left the screen, I was waiting for his next appearance. Through the entire movie there was death quiet (except when everyone was laughing at The Joker, he was terrifying but hilarious at the same time) , everyone listened intensely and was totally into the movie.
When the credits were listed in the end, everyone started to get up and leave, but I really wanted to see Heath's name in the credits!! Everybody was pushing me, but I moved reeeeeeeeealy slowly and kept my eyes on the screen. I just had to see his name, I don't really now why... And I got to, just before I literally got pushed out of the room (sorry, folks).
But it was a mindblowing experience... Heath, you did it again...
Pour les jours silencieux, où j'écoute tomber la pluie,
Et les matins frileux qui me font regretter nos nuits.
Pour toutes ces différences qui créent l'indifférence, depuis,
Pour les heures passées à regarder tourner l'ennui.
Et les trésors cachés qu'on enterre à jamais sans vie,
Pour tous les souvenirs qui s'ennuient à mourir, et puis,
Plus je pense à toi et plus encore je m'aperçois
Que le temps qui passe ne me guérira pas.
Rien ne te remplace, je manque de toi, je meurs de toi,
Et je m'aperçois que tu manques à l'espace.
Pour cacher mes erreurs que je commets par cœur, et si,
Au profit du bonheur, j'échangeais la douleur sans bruit.
Pour ces sommeils qui dansent, comme des récompenses enfuies,
Comme le bleu des nuances devient gris de souffrance, aussi.
Pour les soleils violets que tu dissimulais meurtrie,
Et les rires empruntés qui te raccrochaient à la vie.
Plus je pense à toi et plus encore je m'aperçois
Que le temps qui passe ne me guérira pas.
Rien ne te remplace, je manque de toi, je meurs de toi,
Et je m'aperçois que tu manques à l'espace.
Laisse-moi respirer, juste une heure encore,
Cette fleur fanée, puisque la mort ennemie a pris l'amour d'une vie.
P. Fiori
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fnormal_0057E8-1.jpg&hash=d733cf5bff4f4cfdfac167743c5de30a494cda9f)
For quiet days, when I listen to the falling rain,
And morning cautious that I do regret our nights.
For all these differences that create indifference since
For hours spent watching turn boredom.
And the hidden treasures we bury forever lifeless,
For all the memories that are bored to death, and then
The more I think of you and more I realize
Whether the passage of time does not heal me.
Nothing replaces you, I miss you, I die for you,
And I realize that you lost space.
To hide my mistakes that I commit a heart, and if,
For the benefit of happiness, j'échangeais pain without noise.
For those who sleep dance, as rewards fled,
As the blue shades of gray is suffering, too.
For purple suns that you dissimulais wounded,
And the laughter that you borrowed raccrochaient to life.
The more I think of you and more I realize
Whether the passage of time does not heal me.
Nothing replaces you, I miss you, I die for you,
And I realize that you lost space.
Let me breathe, just one hour,
This flower fanée since the death enemy took the love of a lifetime.
There's a song in Hebrew, that a well known Israeli songwriter named Ehud Manor wrote to his daughter many years ago, when she was little. It's called "My Second Childhood". Every time I hear it now, I think about Heath and Matilda. It reminds me so much of the great love he had for her, and when I hear this song I imagine sometimes that it's Heath singing it to his little girl. He could've written these words himself, I think he would've identified with them completely. This song became associated with Heath to me. I only wish that he could've gone through his second childhood with her, and see her growing up to be three years old, and four years old, and five years old...
I tried to translate the lyrics to English, any mistakes are mine.
This is my second childhood,
Whatever you'll give me I'll take
This is my second childhood,
With you.
This is my second childhood,
The burden of years has been forgotten
This is my second Childhood,
My heart is opening.
Through your eyes daughter,
I see and re-discover the world
Through your hands I'll learn
To touch the ocean waves again.
Through your lips daughter,
A new flavour to the words
And with you I'll grow up again without fear
We're already three years old.
This is my second childhood,
Whatever you'll give me I'll take
This is my second childhood,
With you.
This is my second childhood,
The burden of years has been forgotten
This is my second Childhood,
My heart is opening.
Through your songs daughter,
I'll learn again to listen to the creation
In your footsteps I'll walk
On the way to the Seven Wonders.
In your smiles daughter,
There's a new morning to the nights
And with you life has a reason –
We're already four years old.
In your looks daughter,
I'll learn to love again without thinking
In your tears I'll shiver
Like the end of the world is near.
In your hugs daughter
A thrill goes through my body
And with you I'll seek another day
And we're already five years old.
This is my second childhood,
Whatever you'll give me I'll take
This is my second childhood,
With you.
(If anyone wants to hear the song, here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym27UQX5Pxc )
Now that I have seen TDK, I know for sure that this movie had NOTHING to do with Heath's tragic passing.
Every scene he's in in the movie reeks with his joie de vivre. Despite the vileness of the Joker, Heath was loving this experience. He was freed up; he finally had a role that he could mold in any direction he wanted because the Joker was so totally unbound by any human rules or strictures. I really believe Heath loved playing this character, and I can see NO evidence at all that this could have contributed to his depression or illness. I think that's just BS some media nerds cooked up to sell more press. If for no other reason than that, I am glad I saw the movie because now I know his death was not attributable in any way to this film or this role. He was truly at the height of his career. God bless our boy!
I was just wondering what this world would be like if each of us could touch just one person the way Heath has touched million/bill.
Katharine Hepburn once said in an interview when asked what made her a great actress.
"I don't know what it is. Some kind of electricity or something. But I got it."
I think that sums up Heath Ledger nicely....boy did he ever have it.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2FBBM%2FEnnisBBM.jpg&hash=69004b73ef77cd4932ac112acabce8048f6b3e04)
All I can say, it's not getting easier as I thought.. I feel the sadness, now, even more then before .
Heath, I swear.... :\'(
I finally saw The Dark Knight today and it hit me so much I can't stop crying again. He was so great, so unigue. I cannot get his image out of my eyes, still seeing him, crying at the destiny's unjustice. That is just not fair. He was just so talented. He totally blown me away. He stole my every sight, my every thought, my every feeling as the Joker. It was a real masterpiece I was witnessing and the pain of him unable to shoot any other movie in the future is just too much to bear.
I feel such love, such deep frustrating painful love for him. No release for me, no release from pain.
I must tell it to you, darling once again. I love you so much, Dear darling, I am so unhappy and heartached. I wish nothing but you coming back and LIVE.
I feel like again being in the place of no hope, no relief. You gone, your beautiful person, being, gone forever. It is just so tragical. The world seems so dark, so helpless now, I am lost in love and pain. I am crying forever and never stops crying for you, Heath angel.
I will never undestand the ways of fate. You have been taken. It shouldn't have been. All I know with my entire being that you shouldn't have died in your prime. It is not RIGHT, I will never understand it.
And I love you, even more now, my love is not fading with you being gone. I feel like I have never ever loved any actor more than I love you now.
Sleep well, my love, I cannot.
Your Ennis, your Joker will never be forgotten.
In Heath's memory....
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi327.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk478%2FKawaiiRainie%2FHappiness.jpg&hash=5476751f98952b44756383e9c09ec8757f5692f7)
Dear Heath, I give you a present : all the brokies's love for you, all our memories for you, all our veneration for you, all of our gratitude for yo, all of our endless pain for you, we miss you too much :\'( :\'(
Heath, I hope you are peaceful where you are ^f^
7 months already :(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi252.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh34%2Fveroniqu8%2Fsadness.jpg&hash=2b421cc6d9cb7e2aad2f72d865816d9c698a365b) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi520.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw322%2Ffo_shaww%2Fheath_ledger.jpg&hash=93d9a9d82d97c6f7aab7bc8691f781982110b5ad)
I can't believe it !
7 months ! :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi520.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw322%2Ffo_shaww%2Fheath_ledger.jpg&hash=93d9a9d82d97c6f7aab7bc8691f781982110b5ad)
I can't believe it !(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi285.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll60%2Fkrisboop%2Foeiltrisre.gif&hash=3cc1929683acf498e01353001d49f91c82c02619)
http://wearethemasses.com/dedicationheath/index.html
Edit to add: This is a video that Heath's friends from The Masses made in his memory. It's amazingly beautiful and contains videos and photos that we've never seen before... prepare tissues.
I already posted this on the Summer Olympics thread, but thought it would be nice to be posted here.
Someone posted this on their live journal.
Our young Australian team of Gymnasts have given a name to each of their leotards in a way of identifying them. They have the 'Sugar Glider', the 'Bush Fire', the 'Great Barrier Reef' amongst others. They also have one called 'Heath' in memory of him. “The top of the leotard has gold swirls on it, reminding us of Heath’s curly hair,” one of the gymnasts said.
Here's a picture of one of the Australian gymnasts performing at the Beijing olympics - wearing the leotard named in Heath's memory.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2F080522dashajoura2.jpg&hash=92cb875fbfd9f1d497a2213af8bf2fc7916ac712)
For the last month, I tried to focus on Ennis
And not feel the loss of you
But no matter how hard I try
There is always something that reminds me
You left a legacy that will live long after you
And the sadness returns with the tears
I have learned in the past week
To embrace that sadness
To let it drive me in living Brokeback again
I am glad to be reminded
When I watch videos of you
And rejoice in the tears that come
You are forever loved.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh257%2FEllemeno_2006%2F2266619025_b7cfa7499d.jpg&hash=6ce87c6d47be497822ab0a7fa83ca0886fa6ade6)
At Dogtown Skates in Venice, California
:\'(
Today in school we saw a movie about "don't drink and drive" and they played a song called "Jag Fick Låna En Ängel" (I Got To Borrow An Angel) and all I could think of was Heath when I heard that song. The movie was very sad and the song didn't make it better and I started to cry and with the song and everything I didn't know what to do so I just broke down in tears and everything just came out, Heath and other things and...I don't know, right now I feel empty. I keep looking at pictures of Heath and my eyes start to fill with tears and I just cant stop. It hurts so much that I cant breath sometimes :\'( :\'(
I translated the lyrics from Swedish to English if you're interested in the song
You smile to me one last time
You were so calm, like you had already left
You saw the I was scared
I got to borrow an angel
That spread their light in every breath
You were taken from me to soon
I got to borrow an angel for a short time
You gave me everything a heart can give
You still live inside of me
You said don't be scared
But tell me, how can anyone every be ready?
I got to borrow an angel
That spread their light in every breath
You were taken from me to soon
I got to borrow an angel for a short time
My angel
I got to borrow an angel
You spread your light in my life
In every breath
You were taken from me to soon
I got to borrow an angel
I got to borrow an angel
For a short time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=248Tlr2_ZBs
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Heath was taken from us to soon, but he will always be our angel :\'( <^(
The down-to-earth boy
who somehow sprouted wings to fly
Your talents took us with you
on a wild ride across the silver sky
Your loving compassion captured us
soul, heart, and forever
There is no turning back
from our journey together on love's road
There is only joy and tears
companions of soul's flight to Neverland
The sight of your face, the sound of your voice
the memories of you, enough to last for eternity
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn264%2Fbpoz%2FHeath%2FBBMVenicefilmfestival36.jpg&hash=88a18786e4d2d2320ffa15efbe636ebdb6042ab1)
Just a moment in an ordinary day
I pause mid stride and don’t know why
out of nothing it seems, unbidden by me,
I feel a tear well up in my eye.
I stop to wonder why I’ve thought of you now,
your smile a picture in my mind.
No matter how I try, I don’t know how
to leave the memory of you behind.
Then it comes to me as I think of the day
and realize with a start
it’s the 22nd of another month
and I feel a jolt to my heart.
So I take a breath and move on with my day,
knowing you’ll be there in my thoughts all along.
Remembering someone with love in your heart
can simply never be wrong.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi177.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw204%2Fasukadranzer%2Fledger.gif&hash=9c731eaf991290e30b4540f38780170a989a167f)Eight months without you here,but feeling you're a presence that looks after us from your new home...
Heath,I swear...
On this, the eight month marker of the world being a lesser place, I felt compelled to write something, anything to purge myself of some of the sorrow the 22nd seems always to bring with it.
For Heath
Your life, sweet man, was a precious gift to the myriads you touched,
To all of us who cherish you and love you oh so much.
Your dear, sweet ways, your gentleness, your kindness knew no bounds,
Your brilliance and your beauty, they'd power to astound.
Consummate and gifted, beyond your years too wise,
Your heart, your mind, your very soul emanated from your eyes.
Your art brought joy into the world, it galvanized our hearts,
A gift to us I've treasured, right from the very start.
Your heady days of starting out...
I'm glad your life knew charm.
I pray you knew deep happiness,
And found a sense of calm.
I pray your heart of hearts rejoiced
In the blessings of your days,
And fathomed how much you were loved -
Much more than words can say.
Through jousting days and fairy tales,
Wyoming skies of blue,
Your life was blessed and touched by God
This, I know you knew.
In Gotham nights and sleepless times,
Your mind grew slowly jaded
I watched on broken-hearted
As your brown-green eyes, they faded.
Outwardly, you seemed forlorn, adrift upon an ocean
Of fearsome waves and undertows and darkening emotion.
But inwardly, I do have faith, that you remained unharmed...
The outside world could not seep through with Tilda in your arms.
In this, dear Heath, some small, small solace we can surely own,
To know that you had so much love, to know you weren't alone.
Thus we can reflect, sweet Heath, thus we can rejoice.
But how I miss your gorgeous smile, the cadence of your voice.
Although it pains me endlessly to know that you're not here,
I treasure what you've given us...that I hold so dear.
Indeed, our hearts are lifted now,
With a tender, graceful calm
To know that you're now dwelling
In the bliss of angels' arms.
-Rest, sweet one, be at peace-
During my lunch break today, I got to fixating on the beautiful sound of Heath's name...and felt compelled to write something for the name that means "vast, open moor" and has such a beautiful respiratory quality to it.
Heath
Soft, your name,
It's like a breath,
Respired, as a sigh
...Heath...
Soft, and also ageless,
A moor of untamed thyme
And flowering, purple heather
Blooming sweet and free.
Precious, is the name
Of he who wore it
Like a glove
...Heath...
It seems to whisper airily,
It seems to speak to love
In a timbre of wild heather,
Blowing in the wind
Stately, is your name,
A manor on the heath.
A sound so soft yet full of might,
...Heath...
It haunts my Wuthering Heights
And the vastness of the heather
Growing with the thyme.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi88.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk188%2Frshill1223_65%2Fzzzzzzzzz11111xo5.gif&hash=2e8ed77b14ca06f9732cc64dc52ef8adeb1f9ded)You are always in my heart dear Heath Ledger
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Watch over you
(Alter Bridge)
Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love
I try to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go
And who is gonna save you when I'm gone?
And who'll watch over you
When I'm gone?
You say you care for me
But hide it well
How can you love someone not yourself?
And who is gonna save you when I'm gone?
And who'll watch over you
When I'm gone?
And when I'm gone who will break your fall?
Who will you blame?
I can't go on let you loose it all It’s more then I can take
Who'll ease your pain?
Ease your pain
And who is gonna save you when I'm gone?
And who'll watch over you?
And I will give you strength when you’re not strong?
Who'll watch over you when I've gone away?
Snow is on the ground
Winter's come
You long to hear my voice
But I'm long gone
Tonight I called out your name
The thought of you
Was carried on the wind
And it echoed through the canyon like a train
Winding on home to me again
I can almost touch your face
It`s almost like your never went away
Heath,
Everywhere I go
I can feel you all around me
In the sunrise, in the moonlight
I breathe you in like the air
You`re everywhere
I walked through the forest green
Far from all the chaos and the noise
And the river she sangs to me
I could swear it sounded like you`re voice
There to comfort me
Soothing as a gentle breeze
Everywhere I go
I can feel you all around me
In the sunrise, in the moonlight
I breathe you in like the air
You`re everywhere
Everywhere I go
I can feel you all around me
In the sunrise, in the moonlight
I breathe you in like the air
Oh I breathe you in like the air
You`re everywhere
Heath
I just came back from Brussels, from seeing my brokie family there, and you were there with us, like I carried you there with me.
Watching the movie again was both beautiful and painful... I started crying a few minutes after it started just from looking at you and thinking how beautiful you are. Watching every little nuance, every subtle expression, every move, thinking how talented and amazing you were there, giving life to Ennis. Watching the movie is not the same for me again since you left us, all of a sudden different lines have extra meaning ("is there anything interesting up there in heaven?") and I find myself crying not only for Ennis and Jack, but for you.
It was amazing to see how many forum members wore stripey socks - or anything else with stripes on it. I had my Joker socks and striped gloves, both gifts from my wonderful friends. I kept seeing you in every street corner, in every shop window. In the shirts and the crazy hats that you used to wear (and we'd point and say "oh, Heath would love this one"), in the yellow Dukati parked on the pavement (just like yours), in the man who walked by us carrying his little daughter on his shoulders. You were everywhere.
You're in my heart, wherever I go.
<a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/heathy%20ledger/DotTheDeranged/HEATHY.jpg?o=7" target="_blank">(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi206.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb115%2FDotTheDeranged%2FHEATHY.jpg&hash=9636e0fc46ef81ba548e620d06a4ed0a2e303370)[/url]
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg83%2Famtamburo%2FHeath%2FHeathTribute.jpg&hash=102bb387376afb4ce263401b1f9188bb0600a3e8)Heathcliff Andrew Ledger
April 4, 1979 - January 22, 2008
~Without your beautiful light, the world will forever be a darker place~
Haven't posted in here for a while, but I just had to respond to this, it's just so true. He's just everywhere.....I loved that you listed happy things Keren, like clothing style, and a man walking with his daughter on his shoulders....I love that while they can make us hurt a bit, the things that remind us of him also make us smile.
I will be 28 years old tomorrow....in a little over 9 months I will have lived longer than you were able to Heath....and that's just not fair.I will never be able to look at anything with stripes again and not smile...at least a little.
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Here are a couple of sonnets I wrote for Heath. The first one, I wrote after seeing him on the big screen in The Dark Knight, and the second one, very shortly after his passing.
I felt inspired to put them in sonnet form as a nod to his role in Ten Things, as his love interest writes one about him for class.
Cinematic Sonnet
Like tidal waves capsize a raft
So grief sweeps o'er me,
As I sit here dazzled by your craft
Before the silver screen.
Oh that it could be a gate,
A threshold you could cross.
Oh if you could cheat cruel Fate
Replenish us your loss.
Alas, the silverscreen's a wall
Impregnable as brick
You won't waltz through it - it's a pall
For this my heart is sick
The star has truly left the stage
And flown free of the earthly cage.
Goodnight, Sweet Prince
Goodnight, sweet prince, and bon boyage
So long, farewell, goodbye.
Robbed from us, thy sweet visage
Who knew thy time was nigh?
Goodnight sweet prince, adieu, adieu
They'll sing thee to thy rest.
That thee would drift, who knew, who knew?
Oh, how could one have guessed?
Sweet prince, goodnight. Goodnight, goodnight!
Goodnight until the morn.
Let seraphim and angel-flights
Sing thee to thy dawn
Sweet Prince, thou art the very best
Dwelleth in thy heav'nly rest.
A Villanelle for Heath - He Went So Gentle
(My response to the great Dylan Thomas Villanelle, "Do Not Go Gentle")
He did go gentle into it, into that good night -
He knew not that he'd have to fight the dying of the light.
He went so gentle into it, the dying of the light
How could he prepare to fight
The dying of the light?
He did go gentle into it, into that good night.
Wish he'd known he'd have to fight,
Then he'd have the might....
He went so gentle into it, the dying of the light.
As winter thieves the sunrays bright,
So Death did steal your Life.
He did go gentle into it, into that good night.
Death - a thief with jealous spite.
HE DIDN'T KNOW TO FIGHT
He went so gentle into it, the dying of the light.
So brave was he, at heart a knight,
...If he'd only known to fight...
He did go gentle into it, into that good night,
He went so gentle into it, the dying of the light.
*I love the incanting quality to Villanelles, and think Dylan Thomas' one to be one of the greatest. I hope I haven't committed a travesty of any sorts in attempting to refer to it in mine...
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The morning sunrise spread her wings
While the moon hung in the sky
Held the sea in your hands
And happy everafter in your eyes
Couldn't leave you to go to heaven
I carry you in my smile
For the first time my true reflection i see
Happy everafter in your eyes
Every star in the night
Promises the dawn
I will be there if you fall
To ever so heavily rest upon
All that i can give you
Is forever yours to keep
Wake up every day with a dream
And happy everafter in your eyes
Happy ever after is in your eyes
Happy Everafter In Your Eyes - Ben Harper
Written for Matilda
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In a day like today you left us...Nine months have already passed,like a pregnancy full with sorrow and pain that gives birth to an infinite hole in our hearts.We're not fathers or mothers,but orphans of your talent,your beauty and your intelligence.Rest in peace,our sweet eyes cowboy... :\'(
You're welcome, dear Alicia. You write like an angel. I too am always saddened when this date rolls around; I guess we all Brokies are.
I'm so sorry to hear a Brokie passe away, too, this year. I was unaware of this, and offer belatedly my condolences to Rajel's friends. A hard year for ennisjack, to be sure.
On the ninth month marker of the loss of sweetest Heath, I'd just like to post this beautiful poem by Victor Hugo, "Tomorrow, At Dawn". It's sadly sublime, and one of my favourites.
Here it is in it's original French, followed by an English translation:
Demain, dès l'aube, à l'heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Vois-tu, je sais que tu m'attends.
J'irai par la forêt, j'irai par la montagne.
Je ne puis demeurer loin de toi plus longtemps.
Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit,
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Triste, et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.
Je ne regarderai ni l'or du soir qui tombe,
Ni les voiles au loin descendant vers Harfleur,
Et quand j'arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe
Un bouquet de houx vert et de bruyère en fleur.
Tomorrow, at dawn, at the hour when the countryside whitens,
I will set out. You see, I know that you wait for me.
I will go by the forest, I will go by the mountain.
I can no longer remain far from you.
I will walk with my eyes fixed on my thoughts,
Seeing nothing of outdoors, hearing no noise
Alone, unknown, my back curved, my hands crossed,
Sorrowed, and the day for me will be as the night.
I will not look at the gold of evening which falls,
Nor the distant sails going down towards Harfleur,
And when I arrive, I will place on your tomb
A bouquet of green holly and of flowering heather.
Yes, 'tis sad indeed, Alicia. :\'( It always made me so sad even before associating it with Heath... So now it's even sadder to me.
Just did a couple of my own (even if it probably is unwise to post them right next to Hugo's...)
Lunar Elegy
The Moon has brought it round again
For a ninth and sorrowed time
And I would that my words could give you
The bouquet in my mind.
Claire de Lune
Claire de Lune
Oh light of the moon
Your beauty is sallow
This night
Where teardrop shapes
Abound
And crescent shapes
Mark
A date so wintry blue
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I only wanted you
They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.
On this day I have no words... I'll let the photos speak for me right now
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These are different tributes from ennisjack members around the world
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9 months. 9 months ..........
I still can't can't believe you are gone.
I am listening to your voice at your Santa Barbara speech right at this very moment and still finding a reason for you leaving us so soon.
With that very clear voice. how would anyone say we will never hear that voice again?
Every words are so clear and keeps me clinging to those words one by one. one by one Heath....
How I wish to hear more .. how I wish to hear you more.
I just can't let you go..................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdaWA2OBALI&search=heath+ledger
AUDIO. Heath Ledger . Santa Barbara Speech
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20173623,00.html
It's hard to believe 9 months had passed already... :\'( To everyone who need it :ghug:
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Anything interesting up there in heaven?
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Nine months damn... Nine months...
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Miss ya Cowboy!
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Just sendin' up a prayer of thanks . . . .
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I just can't let you go Heath... you're in my mind. you're in my heart....
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My heart is empty. Will it ever get better?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqbcV39Sq1o
directed by Heath Ledger
I love seeing these photos of him directing the video. God he had so much in him, so much talent, so much to give.
ELLEN DEGENERES: "He was good at anything he did. He and Michelle came over to the house once, and they were really late because he was directing a Ben Harper video. He was coming straight from that and he was telling us about it and how much he loved it. And then we played poker and he proceeded to take all of our money."
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: "He was good at sports. He was good at directing. He was good at painting. He was good at taking pictures. He was good at building things. It could be infuriating to a lot of his friends--I mean, he had a talent for everything that he put his mind to, pretty much, so he didn't know limits. Maybe he had never been told that he couldn't do something, so everything was possible for him."
TODD HAYNES: He shared with me some rock videos that he'd made. They are so extraordinary. He was so gifted beyond what we'd already seen. The last one I saw that he made was to a Nick Drake song. He did it in one day in London. He went out and shot it in black and white--it's the only video that he himself appears in. It is just a stunning piece of work. He had an instinct.
SEAN PENN: Heath was not simply a quiet and gifted actor who liked to go surfing, though that is how I primarily knew him in life. In the time we spent together, we spoke a bit about family, about travels, but most of all, about film. Yet, in his unassuming way, he never revealed to me the visual poet of the first order who I discovered watching the film clips he directed, music videos and such, after his death. His talent does speak volumes of the kind man, the loving father, and, in fact, the brilliant and gifted guy I really missed out on--that we all did in the long run. Heath might have been a giant.
This is the 1st poem I have written for Heath. It means a lot to me. I have poured my heart out.HEATH
You are a sweet breeze that makes our hearts rejoice everyday
We are so fortunate that you passed our way
You are gone and we are soar
You left us so much love and hope
We are glad that you were here
There is so much joy in our tears
Your face reflects the depths of the Ocean
Your presence is felt as a light longing to be found
We can’t thank you enough for being with us
Your journey has made our lives more enriched and loved
We need you even more so much
Don’t ever leave the shadow we have in us
It sometimes feels like there is a hole in our heart
The pain of you going has broken us apart
Like our souls are longing to be touched
Life is never the same for either of us
You are with us at every step
We are still here and always will be at the same place
By
Cleo
Tonight it's Halloween,that means mainly a funny fête for you; but for us,here,it's the time when we remind our beloved ones who have left us.And today I've heard "Hallelujah" on TV,a simple commercial ad that used this song,but I've reminded Heath. :\'( And I've felt like posting it here-even if it has already been posted before-as a tribute,not only to him,but to all these persons we've lost in our life.God grant they'll be with us this night and always... :ghug:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD5VGQuCm1g (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD5VGQuCm1g)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv108%2FAmy07%2Fatributecopy.jpg&hash=0a26d1c6c2ad2eaa4531f34e323705a4a521e41d)I HOPE THAT YOUR JOURNEY IS PEACEFUL,HEATH...
It's 6:15 am here, I've just woken up, but even before I get any caffeine into me I feel the need to come to this thread...I've just woken from the most vivid dream about Heath to the worst kind of shock that he's gone and I just feel torn apart. It feels much the same way I imagine Ennis must have felt those times he awoke to that wet pillow.
I know he's gone. I do. And yet...remembering the fact just upon waking somehow drives it shockingly home, makes it all the more poignant and real and heartbreaking. Being in that state of pre-consciousness, not quite awake or asleep...well, for me all thoughts and perceptions in that state are very intense, so to be hit with the remembrance that Heath is gone in that half-conscious state first thing in the morning has just really devastated me. It's shocked me anew.
My heart feels smashed and I can't stop crying. Not a good way to start the day. :\'(
God, I miss him.
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HEATH,I HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND THE NICEST CLOUD WHERE YOUR SOUL CAN REST.WHERE YOUR SWEET EYES CAN COMPARE WITH ANGEL'S EYES.MY POOR BABY... :\'(
I always feel compelled to write something for Heath on the 22nd (or 23rd, actually, in Oz), and this month was no different. :\'(
Mourning Mist
A mirage, your face,
when I awoke
when I rose on this
morning.
It cast a haze upon my day,
this date of quiet
mourning.
A haze of you
of beauty and sorrow
a mist of joy and mourning,
a seaspray of sadness
a smoke of happiness
like dense fog in the morning.
Beautiful.
Wretched.
Exquistite and awful,
profound, condensed, concealed.
And ever there beneath life's noise,
so quiet, like the morning.
The haze grows denser
it aches so much
This tenth month of the mourning.
I can't believe it's been ten months.... Almost a year. It's gone so quickly for me, but in other ways, also slowly and sadly. I've said this before but I'll say it again: I'm so thankful to all you wonderful people for understanding that the grief is so real. Most of my real-life friends expect me to just get over it, and don't seem to realize how profound the loss is for all of us that loved and worshiped him so much. Thank you all. :ghug:
I think I talked here after Barack Obama was elected for president of the US, and said how I thought Heath would've liked that. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought that.
This is Michael Stipe during a performance in Austin TX, dedicating his song Until The Day Is Done to his friend Heath (it's a very political song from R.E.M's new album). I saw another video with this dedication before but the quality was too poor and I couldn't understand what he said. Here I could here it.
"Number one, I know that Austin came out strong for Barack Obama and I wanna salute you for that.
Number two, I just wanna say that I'm really sick to death of politicians telling me what I should be afraid of and what I should fear.
And number three, I'm gonna dedicate the first song to a man who heard this song and loved it, and his name is Heath Ledger. this is called Until The Day Is Done".
These are the lyrics:
The battle's been lost, the war is not won
An addled republic, a bitter refund
The business first flat earthers licking their wounds
The verdict is dire, the country's in ruins
Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
As we've written our stories to entertain
These notions of glory and bull market gain
The teleprompt flutters, the power surge brings
An easy speed message falls into routine
Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
A voice whispers "Son,
The blessed vision comes."
What have I done
What have I done
So hold tight your babies and your guns
Forgive us our trespasses, father and son
Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH8Umb7WBFw&feature=related
Miss you more and more every day Heath. You are always on my mind and always in my heart... :\'(
Same here, Emzan. Same here. :ghug:
The other day the sadness struck me all of a sudden at work, and I had to take a little break for a moment, during which I made this picture. I ended up kinda liking it:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2Ftaken_0002-1-1.jpg&hash=a64872f64a19c1b8d6e4110225bce03778ff9915)
I hope our angel has found peace and joy.
I dreamed last night: I was in a cool small local grocery story in Brooklyn (about the size of Monroe's store). I saw Matilda buzzing around having fun and being more cute than the law allows. I thought, cool, this is a very safe place, where she's free to roam around and can't be hurt. Then I saw Michelle, doing her shopping. I kind of maneuvered myself near her, just another shopper. I said hi, started to talk to her, and she said, "write to my agent if you want..." [I guess like "if you want an autographed picture" or whatever]. I said, oh I don't want anything, I just wanted to say how much I like and love and respect you and your work, and of course I want to say how sorry and sad I am about Heath. So we started talking -- it was very beautiful, and some tears and hugs. We talked about Brokeback Mountain, also. Then Matilda came back. Such a darling funny girl, I can hardly stand it. Michelle talked about her; I played with her. Then, Matilda did one of her "tricks." She turned into a rabbit! A little small one on the floor. Then she popped back up into her little three-year-old girl self again.
What I thought at the time in the dream and when I just woke up, was reincarnation. Whether we believe in that literally or not, there was Matilda, who is a reincarnation of Heath if we want to call it that; and the rabbit, I felt like was Heath also. We can see him in Matilda, and we can see him anywhere we look, at the animals and the trees and the sky and the stars...
kathy
My dear friend Steffi, aka Cornflakes, went to NY when she learned that Heath had died. She lives in Germany and she went all the way to NY just to be some hours in front of Heath’s house. She got a plane, cried in front of the tributes to Heath and then returned to Germany. She only spent there a day. Her love for Heath is endless and beyond any limit, as you can see.
Sometime after that she felt the huge need to go and see Heath’s homeland. That way maybe she could feel closer to Heath. She went to Australia in April this year. She took this pic in Cottesloe, Perth April 4th 2008. I think it’s beautiful and made me cry when I saw it first time. Heath loved the ocean...and I almost can see him there, surfing the waves.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapu.mabul.org%2Fup%2Fapu%2F2008%2F12%2F03%2Fimg-233542d3oof.jpg&hash=97b64cace789087a92b7757b2c80911ca86cefdb) (http://mabul.org/)
A poster on the street in L.A.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%25202%2FPosteronthestreetinLA.jpg&hash=b2bf7383858192eea6c721e3cdf7635909e3331a)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi149.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs48%2Fjill_coble%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2F-Heath_Ledger.jpg&hash=a60585c0fed43515a7a553f3c823f34aab41d667)Time does not bring relief
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go - so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, 'There is no memory of him here!'
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.
Edna St Vincent Millay (1892 -1950)
Thinking of you and your family this Christmas Day. I hope they're able to find some measure of joy and peace.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FChristmasHeath.jpg&hash=510c61c3a581b5a215c499e7da31e22333f7bc98)
Miss you Heath... :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2FFoto0018.jpg&hash=26a23618ed52302ee436dbe87eea110ab8fcac9b)
http://www.mp3lyrics.org/n/neil-young/old-man/
Neil Young Old man Lyrics:
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
Twenty four
and there's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.
Love lost, such a cost,
Give me things
that don't get lost.
Like a coin that won't get tossed
Rolling home to you.
Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.
Lullabies, look in your eyes,
Run around the same old town.
Doesn't mean that much to me
To mean that much to you.
I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I'm all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.
Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Lyrics: Old man, Neil Young [end]
The lyrics are very simple but they became meaningful to me since it is one of Heaths favorite song...especially this words...
....I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I'm all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.
Just felt like posting...came home from the doctor's today and had ET on while I was eating dinner and when they talked about stars they lost in '08, Heath was the first one mentioned, having clips such as from the Brothers Grimm, saying in an interview with Matt Damon, "I hope my life will have a happy ending" and then a Brokeback clip with Ennis saying, "Well I guess I'll see ya around?"..And then the song, the song was the worst because I remember the night after Heath's death crying because of that song. Angel by Sarah McClain. It all definatly made me realize how hard the one year anniversary of his death is going to be on me and many Brokies still mourning his death :\'( :\'( :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz160%2FTheBestKayDee%2Ffilms%2FBBM%2FTill_The_Divorce%2Fcap1003-4.jpg&hash=6e9e9f9a00ac3416d680a2e847cb227d0cf8da40)
I thought things would get better with time
I guess a year isn't enough time
It still hurts so much that you aren't here
I love you more then I thought I did and I hate that you had to die before I realised that
There will never be another Heath Ledger for me, there is just one Heath, and thats you.
Thank you for the little time you were here, something inside me happened when I saw your smile
I just wish that I still could have that feeling. Now when I see your smile it makes me miss you more and my heart breaks in a million peaces again.
I will never forget the day you left us. It was like something died inside of me.
Still, I'm very happy for the time you were here and made me and so many other people happy and that you shared your gift with us. You are truly amazing and will never be forgotten.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi256.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh166%2FEmzan%2F10thingsshoot010.jpg&hash=9c834c1a4b9e888f28b49174a255305f8bb586e4)
This is the last day of 2008... in fact, here in Israel it's going to end in a little over an hour. I can't say that I'm sad to see it ending, because it's been a very hard year for me. I don't even remember the first three weeks of 2008, I only know that on January 22 the world had turned upside down for me. If you ask me what happened this year I have only one thing to say: we lost Heath. And losing him is what this year was about to me.
I was going through the articles and the tributes that I printed over this year, and I came across the voice mail that Heath left for an Australian editor exactly a year ago, on December 30, 2007, when he came home to Australia to spend Christmas and the New Year with his family. He wanted to thank the Australian press for respecting his privacy during that visit.
"I don't know whether it's a conscious thing or an unconscious thing, giving me space and respecting my privacy. It's just been awesome, and I've had the most beautiful time back here and being able to see all my friends and family, let alone the press and the people within the community of Perth, it's been so lovely.
"It's really enabled me to be a boy again from home and feel like I'd never left. Like I said, I'm not sure whether it's a conscious decision on the paper's part or not to kind of give me this space, but they have, and I truly, truly thank them for it, and it makes my life a life when I come back here.
"I know you're probably not the man to print this, but you can certainly pass this on to your compatriots, and that's really it, just sending my love and thanks to the city of Perth because it's truly been an incredibly therapeutic and a much-needed trip home, and just that little touch has made it all that more special to me.
"So feel free to use this message as my interview as such, and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and certainly a Happy New Year.
"If I don't speak to you before I leave, I will no doubt be talking to you probably next year when Batman comes out - and Batman goes down in fact.
"Thanks for listening to my longwinded message - like I said, feel free to use it and pass it on to someone who can type it out, and thanks again."
That was the last time Heath was home with his family, and he never got the chance to talk to that editor again, certainly not "next year when Batman comes out". My heart hurts so much when I read these lines because this year he's not here to celebrate the New Year. And this is just not right. It breaks my heart.
:\'(
Truth is, I don't miss Heath....because he's ALWAYS with me.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi230.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee199%2Fsepptember%2FNeverseenHeath.jpg&hash=97e5dd6a790fe84d8740571e7c78b7ae42a99c38)
Got you, babe; safe in my heart, forever.
I had a dream about Heath last night. You know how it is, when you've dreamed of someone, or when you've just spent time with someone in reality as far as that goes, you keep thinking of them the next day. All day today I felt as if I'd actually spent time with him. It was like feeling his presence still, kept coming to me all day. Of course, because of the People's Choice awards news and all, I saw his picture or name a lot today. Anyway, a very strong feeling all day...
The dream was nice, sweet. It was a Star Trek convention, and at first I felt like I was seeking him out to hang out with him, but then realized he was also seeking me out to hang out with. I thought in the dream maybe he was hanging out with me because he didn't know anyone else there. But no matter -- we just were having fun, wandering around. There was also a few moments of spark and heat...best kept in my own memory thank you very much. Then, we got separated and I couldn't find him. I went to the room I thought he was in, but he wasn't there...then the dream turned into scenes where I was telling some friends I had dreamed of him...
kathy
Today I went out with all that snow to just get a paper for my dad. I was there so damn cold waiting for my turn to pay when I saw it. The cover of one of most important magazines here in Spain, the one that only talks about famous and rich people and their lives, loves, houses and clothes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There Heath was. It was some of his latest pics. Heath with Ramos, one of his two friends he created Masses with.
He was so beautiful. Smiling, bared foot, with old jeans, looking at the screen of his laptop or angling his hands to try and find the best position to film.
But what punched me was the words, big words, in the cover.“Almost a year. We miss you.”
God, I wanted to cry then and there…..And I forgot about the cold and the snow for a moment. In fact, I felt like burning inside. But it was not fire, but a huge sadness, that bit me sharp and red hot.
This is gonna be a hard time for us. Heath is gonna be everywhere. And I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FHeath188-1-1.jpg&hash=53089866bef8c8dfa00cab42212d82f88bf47a18)
In the 13 January 2009 - Daily Poll from IMDB.... the question was:
What was your main reason for tuning into the Golden Globes on Sunday?
one of the answers was: I watched the show to see if Heath Ledger would win a posthumous award.
guess what I voted for .....
I'm so proud of you, and I do hope that you see all the respect you getting here, from where you are, above...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAngels_and_Demons%2F3d-angel-3.gif&hash=7ae0b655d1c7df21499ec22d7ad4e271b1d5ed26)
Tonight my recurrent insomnia has kept me up into the wee hours, and I felt compelled to sketch our beloved boy, or at least attempt to -- I'm no artiste and haven't really sketched or painted since high school, so I'm more than a little rusty. %&)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2Fennis017.jpg&hash=609eab76a924bc05823665edb95368a8e6766715)
Still miss him so much. :\'(
Here are a couple others I did of Heath recently, in BBM character.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2Fennis003.jpg&hash=9f262ccb10cee5fa48d0d926f8a859ac6529548a)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2Fdz016.jpg&hash=da5a6ef8fea6fade8d275c8eeae0b013a209dde9)
I certainly am out of practice and need to improve a TON, but Heathy is a beautiful practice-subject! The perfect model. <^( <^( <^( <^(
I'm sure I won't mind spending hours sketching that gorgeous face. :) :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FHeath%25203%2FHLMissing-youTM-1.gif&hash=93148ce45274d3545fd19e4f7951262d8ff9ea5e)
:ghug: Cleo :ghug:
It's morning here, and I've not long been out of bed. I'm not sure if I was dreaming of Heath or not, but the first thought in my mind as I woke up was an an image of him from the final scene of Candy. I could almost hear that beautiful voice as if it were right there. It was saying, "When you're granted a reprieve, I think you should remember...how thin it really is." Just like he said in the film.
I don't know why, but it just pierced me. That scene always makes me cry, as it is...when Heath cries, I cry, always without fail,...but this was far worse, more deeply felt for some reason.
And what makes it more...I don't know...I'm not even coherent or awake yet...but I suppose what I'm trying to say is that the feeling was just so strong, and what makes it even more poignant is that I had "Shelter For My Soul" in my head at the same time. The haunting and beautiful song from Ned Kelly that has always moved me something fierce.
Man, I still can't shake the intense feeling that this has left me with.
Anyway, just needed to vent. Apologies for spamming the thread for the second time with my half-asleep, incoherent ramblings at 6:30 am...
On this day last year, our Heath was still here and that just hurts so much to consider. He was here, but only had four days left in this world. :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FHeathLedger-RIP.png&hash=5bcc8522981ffd77b76bb607f270cb5a0aa7bebb)
something i made...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi110.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn96%2Fbbmbrokie%2Fheath-ledger-40-2.jpg&hash=b85bfebc3620cc2e6328fa4e8b0f28a7153f3697)
I'm an emotional mess this morning. I stayed up pretty much all of last night to watch Obama's Inauguration, and to make my Anniversary tribute for Heath, for my YouTube channel that's dedicated to him. The pride and joy of seeing the new American President being sworn in, and the pain of making the Heath tribute have combined to leave me feeling an odd elixir of mixed emotions.
But I think, more than anything, what hurts is that Heath should have been here for this historic day. He should have been here to witness something so pivotal, something that would no doubt have pleased him immensely. :\'(
Sigh. Long, drawn-out, sad sigh.
I don't know. I can't seem to stay away from this thread lately; I keep spamming it up with my ramblings. I guess I just need to think out loud about all this, or I fear I may burst or something.
Well, here's the tribute I made tonight. I'll surely do another on the 22nd, and will post that here, too.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=iAsCdIcZeew&feature=channel_page
I will just keep this in my pocket all day tomorrow... It is one like I made that we left in the desert last March.
kathy
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi143.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr148%2Fksxks%2Fbbm%2FHL79-0801.jpg%3Ft%3D1232600149&hash=f74ec6b92c3d77ffbaf877c0d462751e7dda09c1)
One year already?
Over the year, I wonder if sadness has any expiration date. Could it last longer because of more love or quickly disappear with less? Simply not so. I know eventually I have to let you go but I just don’t know how. My sadness never disappears for your leaving. Instead, time forces it to quietly slip into a corner of my heart and often hits me off guard. It makes me miss you even more. On this day of your parting a year ago, all I can think of is - I don’t want to say goodbye.
I understand now why Ang Lee only needed to stare at you for 45 minutes without you even speaking a word for the role of Ennis Del Mar. The entire YOU spoke louder than anything. Thank you for being you and giving us this life-changing experience of Brokeback Mountain. I know one day I will see you in the place where blue bird sings with whiskey spring. I will be honored to have some drinks with you.
For now - whenever my sadness strikes, I will be looking for the brightest star in the sky. Fly free with your wings.
:ghug: to everyone and your heartfelt words. Here is my little tribute to Heath for what he has given us.
(https://ennisjack.com/video/heath.gif)
Beautiful one and great idea. I will carry this with me - something we took away from the desert.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2Fvegas%2FIMG_3856a.jpg&hash=18759ee0e3b3fbd6251a2b671d17a89b49ac134b)
Ethan, the banner is amazing but owhh. so sad...!! :\'( :\'( :\'(
YES..t's been a year already..(sigh) but it feels like yesterday, :\'(
such an unbelievable thing, it's hard for me to put it to words... I could say it better in my language.
תהיה נשמתך צרורה בצרור החיים... ת.נ.צ.ב.ה.
R.I.P. my sweet angel in the camp up the mountains in heaven,(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fbonfirecampfire.gif&hash=d985e8a6de34c8ec834ca0326425a125532052de) (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fcandle-4.gif&hash=61238e453949a7425bbe5a6a508521857d1f06ab)
To all the brokies on this sad anniversary of yearning, I offer my love and hugs to everyone!!
:ghug: :ghug: :ghug:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2Fhpv1515%2Fhugs.gif&hash=8d333926964060105551224ff9200ef1aec3f81f)
One year. one year in which you were always on my mind. at this hour last year you were still alive, I wonder what you were doing. I wonder if you were asleep or awake. one can never tell, with you. I wish I could turn back the time and be there and stop you before you took those pills, and tell you what they were going to do to you. You had no idea. you just wanted to sleep...
Thank you for everything that you've given us, for sharing your special gifts, for shining so bright. Rest in peace my love.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%25202%2FmemorialsfromHeathsflat1.jpg&hash=3343ca916b090700dd78af1257753144382ddf6d)
Our beautiful boy - I miss you so much. But I'm sending up a prayer of thanks for everything you gave us and the memories which will never die.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh26%2FNoReins%2FSendingAPrayerOfThanks2.jpg&hash=ad7313faa3cb35a1c437b41930a8c035b6dc13ee)
Is there anything interesting up there in heaven? :\'( :\'( :\'(
:ghug: :ghug: :ghug: :ghug: :ghug: :ghug: to everyone, today and always.
It is a hard day, but at least we have this place, and each other.... :ghug: :ghug:
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2FBrokeback%2520Mountain%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fshalli2.jpg&hash=d2d8a675aa8b71ae909eee7f0fa045e530913535)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp186%2Floreent%2Fheath%2Fheath-ledger-1.jpg&hash=168141765fa2e3d8602bd77c762c877673e132f1)
memorials from Brokies
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(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi81.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj237%2Fchristiegwood%2FBrokeback%2520Mountain%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fheath2-1.jpg&hash=7877584601819021b523df3b35e8e11b032faa56)I miss you
Miss you so bad
I'm wearing my stripey gloves...IN LOVING MEMORY
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still
And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I lit this at my place...
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dear friend,
i write to you because i saw that you are not here anymore...and because you are gone...and i don't know how to tell u what i feel if not this way.i'm glad that know u can have fun without sufering...now you can be happy all the time and now u can not cry animore.so that is good.i'm sure u're having a great time up there in heaven.i hope u're not to busy with your funs up there.becose when we are going to come in there after u u will not have one second to rest muhahahahaaaa:)) u know how many people love you?u should be proud of yoursef this means u made a good job down here.u were a beautiful person inside and of course outside,a wonderful daddy,a loveble lover,an adored son,a trustful friend,a caring brother and a workaholic wich for us it was really good cos i am obsesed with your work...or me you have been an artist,my inspiration,my help when i was down and your optimism really helped me.i learned from your words,experience and from yor life u helped me seeing the beauties of this life and u made me realize ho important is to live every second like u did.4 all this and much more i wanted to thank you and i wish u to have fun for eternity like u always wanted.i love u my dear friend and i know that one day we'll meeti in a way or another!!!!
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(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi484.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr206%2Flucierose04%2F43.jpg&hash=350ba361cb5aea2e0bd21ccb7a08b702c062e889)It's a year since your memories are in our heart
It's a year since that night with so much loneliness,
since that silent shout that died inside your neck,
since that endless journey with no coming back,
since you filled with sorrow your vital pack.
Everybody,then,had been blind to see
the answer that shadowed your amber eyes.
Nobody,then,could give you a courage's stick
to lean on while walking for your stony path.
You were then like a lonely Ennis del Mar,
always longing for what could have been,
without the strength to recover the "it is"
of the only truth that kept you alive...
In exchange,someone far beyond the Earth
called you that night to enlighten his world
by enjoying your talent and your youth.
And then you began to play your new role,
far away from us,but full with hope...
It's a year since the Universe has a new star
that shines much more that the rest.
It's a year since we keep on looking at the sky,
where this light frames kindly your face.
And,although we know you are in the light breeze
that caresses and watches Matilda's sleep,
we'd want you here,to be in your own Brokeback,
riding strongly along the happinness way,
even if a reality serves us of some relief:
that you're riding forever along with Jack,
...It's a year since our gardens have a plant
that is growing day by day inside our veins
and that is watered constantly with our tears.
We all feel this plant is named after you: HEATH.
I posted this words in another thread too, but I felt that together with Heath's photo today, it would mean much more!
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It was around this hour, a year ago...
My beautiful boy, I will always love you.
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It has been a year...
It was a cold winter day
When you were taken away.
But through your life and your art
You will always be in our hearts.
We celebrate you now
As you receive the praise you’re due.
And mourn the hole you left
On the day that we lost you.
So many things call you to mind:
A glimpse of a star,
The echo of a song,
The sight of striped clothes,
We feel you with us still.
You didn’t leave us behind.
366 days could never be enough
To heal all the hurt or dry all the tears.
But we will keep moving forward,
Carrying you with us through the years.
You left a footprint on our universe
With your creative gifts and generous heart.
You will forever remain
Our cowboy,
Our Casanova,
The knight of our heart.
In love and fond memory for a beautiful soul who branded himself on all our hearts.
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Don't stand by my grave and weep,
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond's glint in the snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
In the soft blush of the morning light
I am the swift bird in flight.
Don't stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there,
I did not die.
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One year ago, at this same hour I received a call from a Brokie sister here...
...then I knew the unthinkable happened, at first I was numb.
The tears came later,
they are still flowing.
There's a hole in my heart since you left,
You know whut?
You changed my life.
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Thank you Heath!
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Quote from Chris Nolan,
accepting Heath's Golden Globe Award
for Best Supporting Actor
" He will be eternally missed but
he will never be forgotten."
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Little darlin'....I miss you more than ever today. I miss you and love you and I wish you were here with all of my being.
I wish, too, that I could give each and every one of you that's hurting today the warmest, tightest hugs ever. I'm sending my love out to all of you. :ghug:
I had expected this day to be hard, but just not this hard. It's morning here, and I woke up crying, and knew instantly that I wouldn't be going to work today.
The first sound I heard as I got up was Heath's name on TV, and in my mind's ear. I saw his father being interviewed by the Australian Today Show's Richard Wilkins, and felt so crushed I couldn't breathe. Kim Ledger said that none of the family members have been able to erase Heath's phone number from their phones because it was so easy to believe, at times, that he was simply away on location, and that they almost expected him to call them sometimes. I just can't say how much that devastated me...
I felt the need to write a couple of poems about this sad day.
Winter Sun
We've made the journey round the Sun
In an orbit made of blue,
We've traveled round the Sun one time
Since the day it set for you.
The sad, cold Sun, she gazes down
From the empty vault of sky,
Her wintry rays
Throughout this day
Just cannot come nigh.
The pale orb in that arc above,
That vast, and boundless space,
She reaches wanly down to us
But cannot warm Earth's face.
Year To The Day
A year to the day
My alarm this morn
Was not a shrill, thin
Sound.
Instead, a vise around my
Chest
A winch so tightly
Bound.
Year to the day
A summer morn
But winter
Nonetheless,
'Twas winter then
'Tis winter now
'Tis winter in my
Chest.
It's a year to the day
I hear your name
The first sound of the
Morning,
Upon my lips
And on TV
This date of saddest
Mourning.
A year to the day
But no less hard
Our hearts are no less
Pained,
A year to the day
But the pain, it blooms
It never seems to
Wane.
It grows like heather on the moors
Blooms unbound,
Untamed
Girt by purple heather
But
There's beauty in the
Pain.
Your father there, upon my
Screen
A whole year to the Day
He can't erase your number yet
In case you'll call today.
Year to the day
My heart cracks more
To a pulp it has been
Beaten.
The sunshine
Casts sad rays upon
My breakfast left
Uneaten.
It's a year to the day
I can't let you go
I cannot let you go
I love you, Heath
And miss you, Heath
I will not let you go.
A breeze outside it stirs the
Trees
A summer, winter
Breeze
Upon this zephyr I'll send my love
Let it drift to heights above
With heavy hearts, the show goes on,
Your presence lights the way.
But what I'd give to have you back
This year unto the day.
Thank you all for your comfort by your words and simply being here. As one of Heath's favorite songs, I know he is singing this to all who love him dearly.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZtQh5EIgWQ
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Thanks for everything,
lil' darlin'
See ya' round.
I'm sat here with a candle burning and Lords of Dogtown on and I struggle to comprehend Heath's not in this world anymore and that he's been gone a year. Plenty of tears have been cried today in sadness and then pride over the Oscar nod.
This day was always going to be hard, but I'm glad to see I'm ot the only one who found it harder than they could have imagined.
The why question is one I'm sure haunts most of us and will never ever be answered. Why someone who had given/shared so much and yet still had so much left to do was taken so young. The list of things we'd give up in a heartbeat to have him back.
Heath changed our stars and lives forever. I'm grateful that I lived in Heath's time and got to see an actor grow and take on a wide variety of roles, constantly challeging himself and his audience/fans. He'd rather do a small indie type film with a story to tell than the big blockbusters for a fast buck. He seemed a throw back to the old school of acting like Brando and Paul Newman and made him unique and standout from his peers. He's left an incredible body of work, that will ensure he is never forgotten, even by those not even born yet.
And his personality - a geuinely down to earth gentle giant - open minded and harmless. Funny and self depricating. Big hearted. Someone who knew his roots and kept friends and family close to his heart. A guy who threw himself wholeheartedly into everything he did.
I really can't believe its been a year - seems like only yesterday, and as I've said before, still seems like a dream. For me, the best way to honour Heath, is to live as he did. Live for every second and follow our dreams. And let him to continue to inspire us in different ways.
I've rambled enough now, you've all been in my thoughts today, as has all of Heath's family & friends. There's some beautiful words been said and poems written by folks here..that I like to think are raising a smile somewhere. Long may this place continue.
To Heath, where ever you are right now, you are missed more than ever, but will always be in our hearts and thoughts. Take it easy out there. Till we meet again x
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I "wrote" this last year for the newsletter...and wanted to post it again....I am using some of Heath’s quotes from his movies, I am sure you will recognise some of them. They are modified to fit my message, and I sincerely hope I am not offending anyone by using them so freely. I apologize in advance.
When something like this happens you are lost. You don't know who you are anymore and what you're capable of.
But if you can't fix it, dear brokies, you gotta stand it.
Through his work, Heath’s talent, youth and beauty will last forever.
Some quotes will always make me smile, others have just started to make me cry.
Today, the pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle.
I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.
Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to.
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart... we carry your heart, we carry it in our hearts.
It's because of you Heath, that we are like this! We've always loved you. You've changed things... forever.
There's no going back. There ain't no reins on this one.
...and I guess we'll see you around, huh?
Rest in peace,
Your faithful squires.
I thought I was fine but why hadn't I remember about the banner? Wow, just to see that banner being placed again makes all the memories of his death so much more...real.
Today, amoungst only a select few of my close friends, I did a day of silence for Heath. I walked through my classes without saying a word. Of course, there were times when I HAD to talk but for the most part, I was silent and I let everyone know why. I wrote a note saying about Heath's death and the silence and too many people gave it back to me saying, "Has it been that long?"..many were so shocked that a year as passed. I can't believe it as well. I always wondered what it would be like and here it is and I don't know what to do or how to react. I will try to stay positive but I know, the feelings of loss will rush back to me.
Heath, I hope you're peaceful up there heaven and looking over all of us, especially your daughter. You ment the world to us with your strength, your willingness to take on life by the reins, and for just being you. And by this, your work, your passion, your outlook on life, you will always be remembered.
I thought I was fine but why hadn't I remember about the banner? Wow, just to see that banner being placed again makes all the memories of his death so much more...real.
Today, amoungst only a select few of my close friends, I did a day of silence for Heath. I walked through my classes without saying a word. Of course, there were times when I HAD to talk but for the most part, I was silent and I let everyone know why. I wrote a note saying about Heath's death and the silence and too many people gave it back to me saying, "Has it been that long?"..many were so shocked that a year as passed. I can't believe it as well. I always wondered what it would be like and here it is and I don't know what to do or how to react. I will try to stay positive but I know, the feelings of loss will rush back to me.
Heath, I hope you're peaceful up there heaven and looking over all of us, especially your daughter. You ment the world to us with your strength, your willingness to take on life by the reins, and for just being you. And by this, your work, your passion, your outlook on life, you will always be remembered.
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When a good man dies
The earth nods, heaves a sigh
And goes right back to work.
Perhaps selling improvisations
Or taking on impossible odds,
Grandiose dreams by sheer force
Of will become reality.
Who ever would have believed this script
In a world where the brisk business
Of birth, death, renewal and chance
Comes in on the money every time.
When a good man dies
The earth nods, heaves a sigh
And just goes back to work.
You can’t trick fate
But you can mold it with passion,
Bend it by ambition
And turn it toward a better world.
(Author ... Unknown)
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I guess I thought you'd be here forever
Another illusion I chose to create
You don't know what ya got until it's gone
And I found out a little too late
I was acting as if you were lucky to have me
Doin' you a favor I hardly knew you were there
But then you were gone and it was all wrong
Had no idea how much I cared
Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Living without you
It's all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break
After all of these weeks
I'm still tryin' to shake it
Doin' much better they say that it just takes time
But deep in the night it's an endless flight
I can't get ya out of my mind
Being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
I don't want to
Being without
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting any easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to you
You're a hard habit to break
Chicago - Hard Habit To Break
(tinkering by Roco)
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Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong there in heaven...
Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay there in heaven...
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong there in heaven...
TEARS IN HEAVEN ... by Eric Clapton
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Since you've been away
I've been down and lonely
Since you've been away
I've been thinking of you
Trying to understand
The reason you left me
What were you going through?
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
Ooh ooh
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
As I look around
I see things that remind me
Just to see you smile
Made my heart fill with joy
I'll still recall
All those dreams we shared together
Where did you run to, boy?
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
Ooh ooh
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
Sometimes I've wondered
I didn't understand
Just where you were trying to go
Only you knew the plan
And I tried to be there
But you wouldn't let me in
But now you've gone away boy
I feel so broken hearted
I knew the day we started
That we were meant to be
If only you'd let me!
I've cried so many tears
Gotta face now all my fears
We let time slip away
I need you boy
Here today!
There was so much you gave me
To my heart
To my soul
There was so much of your dreams
That were never told
You had so much hope
For a brighter day
Why were you my flower
Plucked away
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
Ooh ooh
I'm missing you
Tell me why the road turns
("Missing You" - Diana Ross)
Wanted to come spend some time with all of you who know just what today means. To cry some and to share. Am greatful to have this place to be. To remember Heath. Dont know what to say other than what has already been said over and over.
Thank you, Heath, for all the things you never even knew you did for me.
^f^
:f) :c)
A year went by so fast..Yet I always remember you, even more so during my classes where I constantly play with your wrist band.
Hope everything is amazing up there in Heaven for you, Heath.
Cause it sure seems like hell most of the time down here.
I know you are much bigger than I can ever imagine
Your love touched more people than I will ever know
Yet from time to time out of the blue
I feel your presence and your touch
Like lightning that strikes me flat
And I know my life is changed
For the better, again, forever
Because you were here
Because you are in me
Love you, Always
Today when I was going to school I took one of the newspapers on the bus and on the front page there was a picture of Heath as the Joker and it said "will he get the Oscar?"
I started to cry, not much, but enough to make the woman how sat behind me ask if I everything was alright. I said no and she took my hand and said that it will probably be okay and then she smiled at me. I thought that was very nice of her.
When I arrived at school my friend stood there and I guess she could tell that I had been crying because she just opened her arms and gave me the biggest hug and said that she was there if I wanted to talk. I really have the best friend ever! There are no words that can describe how much she have helped me trough this year...The same goes for everyone on here. Without you I don't know what I would have done so I just have to say thank you all so much %)
And thank you to Heath, without you I would have never met so many nice people.
So many have spoken here, there are no words that wouldn't be repeating. But all our thoughts are alike, we all miss him.
I recently welcomed a hurting Brokie to the forum and told him to be patient, it all would ease over time and the pain would go away, leaving the good memories in its place.
Well, so far I have been terribly wrong. My heart is still cracked and I still feel the pain, the loss for a man I never knew, and what he left us to remember, and how he brought so many people together in their sorrow and in his memory.
Feeling the pain and sorrow may not happen as often, but it is still as strong as ever. And the tears flow just as freely. But thats OK with me, because the memory of Heath and all the wonderful moments he gave us will always be there to give me smiles and comfort. And just like it does for so many others.
Thank you, Heath, for everything!
Heath, this is for you...
http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvIOqmjtXQM
Till my body is dust
Till my soul is no more
I will love you
Love you
Till the sun starts to cry
And the moon turns to rust
I will love you
Love you
But I need to know
Will you stay for all time
Forever and a day?
And I'll give my heart
Till the end of our time
Forever and a day
And I need to know
Will you stay for all time
Forever and a day?
And I'll give my heart
Till the end of our time
Forever and a day
Till the stars fill my eyes
And we touch the last time
I will love you
Love you
I will love you
Love you
I will love you
Love you
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%25202%2Fblackwhite59.jpg&hash=ccc1b5c1c23647356ffe4fa0e51ae2ccd12f95a0)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi85.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fk46%2Fheathledgercentral%2Ftoheath.jpg&hash=4934c5a19a823aa7034f6df154d24bb1e6c19f4a)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnsa04.casimages.com%2Fimg%2F2009%2F01%2F24%2F090124040236410412.jpg&hash=c6bf1c623159a7622790b3588f40af31876a444b) (http://www.casimages.com)Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,--so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him...
By Edna St. Vincent Millay
:\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
(Thank you, Lola, for sharing this with us)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FBrokeback%2FEnnisinblue-1.jpg&hash=cd9a5100619a6137e1d3bfb83f8f3b0630e63aea)
I watched the part from "10 things I hate about you" where Julia Stiles reads her poem... and it put me in the mood of writing a little something of my own.10 Things I Love About You
I love your deep brown chocolate eyes,
All the emotion that they show
I love your dimples when you smile
And the way your whole face glows.
I love your low and sexy voice
your deep laughter when you joke
I love how your hands go everywhere
Every time you start to talk.
I love your shy and humble ways,
How down to earth you are
I love your liberal, open mind
And your generous, gentle heart
I love your wacky style of clothing
Bright colors & stripes instead of suits
I love it how on red-carpet events
You wear your scruffy boots ;D
I love your rare and special talent,
Your passion for your art
The way your acting brought me joy
But also broke my heart.
But I hate it that you've gone away
And the world turned cold and black
And I hate it that with all this love
I still can't bring you back.
:\'( :\'( :\'(
Sorry for not keeping up with the warmth and excitement in this forum. I guess you could say that I went AWOL. :-\\
I wrote a poem a few months after Heath took off on his own. I tried to make it universal in scope, but I was thinking of Heath.
Left Wanting to Say
You left before I knew it,
I couldn't say good-bye.
I know you couldn't help it,
But I wished to see you fly.
You're out among the galaxies,
Dimming them with your light,
A brightness never fading leaves
A trail of glitter and might.
If I had only told you,
Would it make a difference now?
Your wonder and art were true,
Lasting pieces of you which howl.
I'm sure you guys more than anyone could interpret this
I'm on my way to an Oscar Night party in San Francisco.
I will be wearing my Heath Ledger shirt, and I made the insciption from the memorial into a name tag.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2Flastscan.jpg&hash=048e1ba52291b3c94cb71fa14c8fde073ad26338)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi275.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fjj282%2FSanFranciscoJohn%2FHL%2FPlaques.jpg&hash=43d6cae3780af762ead6b63d0dc6aae7e0faf0e6)
I love the quiet beauty of our pix with poems page, my refuge, I'd never written poetry 'till BBM, but I hope no one minds if I slip one in here.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi92.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl1%2Fjessi_040%2Fcusl01_heath0008-1.jpg&hash=21b45690abaf3e794a802c2f583fafc66bf53990)
Rest in love deep in my heart.
The wake of your spirit
washes over days
and sunsets are richer, dawns nearer.
Deep in my heart,
part of my soul,
your spirit ripples.
I'm like one tiny insignificant star,
where your wonder shines on.
One of many,
one of the least, tiniest of all,
here with my fingers,
there with my voice,
deep in my heart
your legend goes on.
jessi
2/22/09
I made this video dedicating to all of you and celebrating Heath's life and accomplishment. Thank you all for your heartfelt thoughts.
Below is the link to YouTube.(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe266%2Fethanwow%2Fpost%2Fheath_award.jpg&hash=0e6bdbcff84acc6e41d89e1b5752ba6a6fa3be58) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_T500KcaiY)
:ghug: you are all welcome.
Here is the link to download (right click and save the link as)
http://ennisjack.com/video/heath_award_tribute.wmv
With the approaching thirtieth birthday anniversary for Heath Ledger,
this song takes on new meaning for me, echoing the quote from Kahlil Gibran:
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
The song says, "how does a memory last this long
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends"
The song is not released yet, but you can hear it on http://myspace.com/musicsand in the profile playlist.
So I Can Feel You Again - by Ryan Laird
i never listened to the sound of rain
that i don't miss you i don't see your face
it's never what i need cuz what it does to me
it's always the same
a million pictures running through my mind
i reminace on all the better times
clear as a summer night i know that i can never fight
there is nothing to gain
it takes a hold on me so strong
how does a memory last this long
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learnt to love the pain
so i can feel you again
myabe i'm selfish not to let you go
and it goes againt everything i know
i am just not ready to stop loving you any time soon
if god has just give me my way, you'd be here with me today
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learnt to love the pain
so i can feel you again
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learnt to love the pain
so i can feel you again
i can feel you again
South Perth, 14/03/09
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg24.imageshack.us%2Fimg24%2F2293%2Fp1010125t.jpg&hash=06ad62ebc7ded3acd8c7cde292c8a1eda1475a60)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi508.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs324%2FCRUSHxLiFE%2Fheath-ledger-.jpg&hash=e18752653c9fb8cc610e89dd58fe44c421d635e3)14 MONTHS ALREADY...
TIME IS PASSING,BUT THE FEELING IS INCREASING...ALWAYS ON MY MIND.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi356.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Foo2%2FBatMan1223%2Fheath-1.gif&hash=c4237dfac66b1929a1fc5ff35cc28953bf5e0ae7)14 Months...You are gone but still alive in my mind
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi67.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh313%2FDoNOTopenB4xmas2%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2FHeath_Ledger_231721m.jpg&hash=4d65472cb0f347b6c8476634c281e297c46c4f81)Death of a young person
No words can ease the heartbreak,
no tears or memories can take
away the loss of one who's gone,
of one you've loved since he was born.
No one can help us while bereft
from grief that one we loved has left;
has travelled from where we could see
to where his heart and soul fly free.
So when we're able to, we dwell
on all the love we knew so well;
and know that God has taken home
the one He loaned us for so long.
Joyce P. Hale
Todays it's Heaths birthday, I remember this day last year. I think I was still in shock that he was dead and I couldn't believe that he was really gone. I think the last couple of weeks I have started to accept that he is gone and I don't feel sad all the time and I don't feel like I want to cry every time I see a picture or a video of him, maybe because I have stayed away from pictures and videos of him for awhile.
Tonight there is a tribute for Heath on Swedish TV and I want to watch it but I'm afraid that I will loose it and feel the pain all over again and I don't know it I can take it. But I know myself, and I'm going to watch it anyway even if it hurts like hell. I don't understand myself, I didn't even know Heath, and still I feel like he was a part of my family and a piece of me died when he died. :\'(
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, HEATHWish you were here... :\'(
:\'( :\'( :\'(
Happy birthday our beautiful boy!
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi733.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fww340%2Fnanja1960%2Fbirthday09a.gif&hash=6a547430ea04b1b40e80d8c45c014c5391e02dc9)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnsa06.casimages.com%2Fimg%2F2009%2F04%2F04%2F090404023011471511.jpg&hash=013c2948a664de32745e71f3e6b2119d4bc31292) (http://www.casimages.com)All I am missing is you
I go to places we liked to go
I do the things we liked to do
Familiar faces we both new
All I'm missing is you
Don't ask me how I'm getting along
Cause there's really nothing new
Everything's about the same
Since you've gone
All I'm missing is you
The same old memories are just as strong
Same old dreams don't come true
That same old feeling goes on and on
All I'm missing is you.
Don Williams
Heath, wherever you are, honey, I hope you feel more strongly than ever before our love for you on your Birthday.
Happy Birthday, baby. I'd give anything to have you here on your milestone 30th birthday...
Something I just wrote now, as I listened to the light rain on my roof and thought about our darling boy.
April rain is needling down
The windows are forlorn
It should have been a milestone -
This date that you were born.
The Autumn night, it cries for you
Are Perth's skies, too, forlorn?
And the vault above your Northern home -
Is it weeping this Spring morn?
Dispersed throughout the Hemispheres
We that loved you, love you still
And quietly we celebrate your Day
Springtime warmth, Autumn chill
The April rain beckons me
Through the window panes forlorn
I think I'll wander into it
Bless this day that you were born.
Heath's birthday today (it's already over here in Australia, while for our European and American Brokies, it's in full swing) inspired me to get the word "Love" tattooed on my wrist this afternoon. I'd thought about getting a replica of the heart he drew, or a little dragonfly like he had or just something else to symbolize him, but I ended up thinking that the unequivocal most precious word in English would be able to symbolize not only Heath himself, but all he stood for, too. So this way, inspired by him, partially representing him, this tattoo is an umbrella for, well, pretty much anything and everything important to me. Family, friends, Brokeback Mountain, all of you guys. A little word covering such an expansive girth.
Thank you, Heath, for continuing to be my inspiration.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2Ftatt001.jpg&hash=528be981f6bdadf8ebab8599157f6946b2ca1a32)
My Deartest Heath,
Happy Birthday to u my Angel..
I know that u r in heaven and u know that u r loved by all of us..
We miss u and always will...
You r very precious to us and r always in our prayers and thoughts..
God will hold u in his arms forever...
Our hearts know what we have lost and it seems like impossible sometimes..
We get a strong feeling that u r still there and then we r right also because u r there in our hearts forever..We will never let u go..
We miss your physical presence so much that its hurts alot...
Lots of luv to u forever and ever our Sweet Angel...
Happy 30th Birthday Heath! <^( ^f^ &**) %)
Sometimes it's hard to believe your still not here. On days like today, for a just a moment, I think you are - smiling and blowing out your 30 candles. May all your prayers and wishes come true, even from the heavens above.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi150.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs84%2Fseahawk10%2Fheath-ledger.jpg&hash=ba8b104447e7c8abae1e71d38e59fad885dd1701)Destiny Choose
Didn't expect it, to arrive so soon,
I don't think I'm ready, as I stare at the moon.
Always believed in forever twenty-one,
Where is my youth with that eternal fun?
Constantly thinking about what is ahead,
During long drives in traffic, repeatedly dread.
Focused and ready to enhance my Career,
Share insights with friends, over a beer.
Life at 30, they expect the right course,
I dream of freedom, with mountains and horse.
So much advice, they try to confuse,
I clear my mind, my own destiny choose.
By Martin Dejnicki
Heath,I wish that your life at 30,in your new home up in Heaven,has its right course also.At least,you have now your freedom...
One of the sweetest things about Heath is the way he communicated with his fans. Some of you may not know it, but on several occasions Heath left messages on fansites and thanked his fans.
I've been spending time on the Dr. Parnassus forum that Theresa set up, and I'd like to thank all the members there who posted messages from Heath, that they'd come across and saved over the years. I thought I'd share some of them with you.
This message from Heath was posted on 16 September 2002 - this is the link to the site, and if you scroll down you can see the message at the bottom of the page (thank you rolie for finding it!)
http://www.heathledger.net/_main/component/option,com_easybook/Itemid,47/startpage,40/
Heath 16 September 2002 02:00 |
Hi Jayne and SCOTT! just joking Skye. It was fun meeting you guys in Toronto. My first time to visit a fan site dedicated to myself. Feels strange. I looked around and you guys have so much info on me it's amazing. A lot of photos too. I'm very flattered. Just want to say thank you very much for all your time and effort. Jayne you are a great web designer. I hope to see you again sometimes in the near future. Perhaps the next premiere. My sister or myself will get in touch with you. To all my fans, thank you for supporting me and Jayne's site. Peace, Heath
This one was posted on Heath Ledger Central, a site that was run by Theresa, a big fan and a personal friend of Heath. She also ran the site "Addicted To The Movie Candy", a site that helped to promote the movie Candy and helped it get a wider release - same as she's doing now for Heath's last movie. During that time Heath also sent personal messages to members who's been particularly active and helpful on the Candy site, he was very appreciative of the efforts. He posted this message on HLC on Jun 26 2006, 07:25 PM, under the name HAL:
HAL
post Jun 26 2006, 07:25 PM
Post #1
I have just stopped over at the Addicted To The Movie Candy blog and forum. Have you seen that place. Really cool! I love that header with the swimming pool. Fascinates me how it looks like water. Very pertinent I think too.
I wanted to thank everyone who is registering there on the forum. This project is very dear and a lot of work but it means a lot to everyone involved. Good going on joining and helping.
I hope you are all well and happy. I hope you enjoy Candy, I'm really proud of this film.
All is well and fine with me and mine and I hope the same for all of you.
Also, T asked me to address something that she says has become an issue. Yes Jake and I are really friends though neither of us gets why that is a deal and yes we see each other. You know how the press is, they never think we might just be having the same kind of friendship as anyone else, most of life is normal not a movie script and because they are not looking for the normal they don't even notice what happens right under their noses. Old Hollywood manufactured romances and friendships just don't exist past the movie set if at all. When told that it had become an issue I was really confused by it's importance. But that's the press for you. If you can't say something nice, great you will sell more publications. It's so funny.
Hope you are well and happy.
Peace
Heath
This message was posted on the I'm Not There site on Feb 8 2007, 10:05 PM.
Wow. Everything looks great. It has been a while since I've been able to stop by and see how it's going. You have all done a lot of work and it looks fantastic. Thank you for all of your hard work and support.
I wanted to stop in and say hi before things get so busy.
Keep up the good work, you're going to love this movie.
I really like the section about faith. You are becoming pros at this. You've all become great friends too and that's so important. Be good to one another.
Peace
Heath
Well... I've got a surprise for you honey. your messages (at least one of them) may have been deleted, but they're not lost. Remember you passed the message on to Christie because Heath couldn't pm her personally? well, she saved it, and so did I, and here it is. Heath's message to our froggy.
I am by for a visit with T and we have been going over the site together and she has been talking to me about all of you who have helped so much. I didn't want to let this time pass without personally thanking you for all you have done and for standing by Candy like you have. I don't know if all of you realize what an impact you have had, but it has been huge for a little movie like this and we all appreciate it so much.
T tells me you will see the film this weekend in London. I hope that you like it. It's a really great story and I'm very proud of it.
I also wanted to tell you how nice it is to see a Brokeback Mountain site like ennisjack. T took me there earlier today and I was really pleasantly surprised to see something so different from the rest. It's a very cool place and you should be very proud of it.
I tried to reach your friend Christine but it didn't work. T says that her message box is full. So would you please tell her and Maxine how much I appreciate everything they have done. Have fun in London.
Be well and happy
Peace
Heath
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn264%2Fbpoz%2FHeath%2Fheathleaves.png&hash=b472f1a05d8d0b6abea8388f7c5de19d3aa77194)
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
~Robert Frost~
This one is a little more upbeat. I meant to post it on his birthday but didn't want to feel like I was 'overposting.'(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn264%2Fbpoz%2Funicorn_heath.jpg&hash=7f13fa8952638186bbbf4b42bbbef483f55a9196)
I hope you are in a peaceful and happy place.
We feel you here still and will love and remember you always.
Look in on us now and then, will you?
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi484.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr206%2Flucierose04%2Fheath4.gif&hash=becb237306e5d76177882e2093b21d53902dc260)The Forever Friend
On my own, but mostly the savannah,
Where the tumbleweeds fade away and die,
Before the glassy sun burns a summer of crystals,
The glistering waters of the high seas
Of which was so far a place as of where vultures roam.
I looked around but you weren't anywhere...
You used to say that you would never die,
But I took the wrong meaning into my heart.
Now the sea is wild with despair,
Deep blue like a prairie of flowers blue,
Where all children of God rest in eternal peace.
I saw you at the end,
You and I, brother and sister of nature,
Brother and sister of heaven and earth,
Your usually calm and heavenly eyes full of tears,
Bitterly falling one after one into a river,
Then the river of life turned red in blood.
My eyes watched in horror.
Slowly and deadly your heart became poisoned,
You disappeared without saying good-bye,
Not a word came out of your mouth.
You became like desolation in its grave.
When once the skies were a realm of stars
And the sun shone brightly in summer skies,
You were there to share the calmness;
But now I stand here in midst of the tall grass
And only the savannah remains.
Artur Hawkwing
La mort n'est pas l'obscurité, c'est une lampe qui s'éteint car le jour se lève.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj30%2Fmikele1%2Fbbm2%2F476787903_4397f3db83_bCustom.jpg&hash=09fa3e0b52b7267feb31a4c468c751e249727752)
Death is not darkness, it is a lamp that goes out for the day rises.
I just feel like I have to get it out or I'm going to burst. I need to know that I'm not alone in this...
Today is the 22nd again... 16 months without our boy. and today his last movie, The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus, is screened for the first time in Cannes festival.
Some people have already seen it this morning, more are going to watch it tonight. I'm sitting here, waiting anxiously for the reviews, and this waiting is nerve-wracking and I feel like I'm going to burst into tears any minute now. ok, I'll admit it, I'm already crying.
This is the last movie, Heath. That's it baby. There won't be any more. This is the last chance we'll ever get to see you on the big screen again in a new role. To hear you speak in your beautiful voice lines that we haven't heard before and sweep us off our feet into a new magical world. There will be interviews and press conferences, but you won't be there. There will be photos and we'll see Terry and Johnny and Jude and Colin and everybody else, and there'll be a big black hole where you were supposed to be. No one is able to fill that hole, no one.
I want to see this movie so badly, but I'm also dreading it because I'm afraid I'm going to cry through the whole damn thing, knowing that it's really over.
I've just read this among the reviews that are starting to come out:
As Gilliam’s “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, the filmmaker said Ledger almost co-directed the film.
“Heath was enjoying himself so much, and he was ad-libbing a lot, which I don’t normally allow ... but Heath was just brilliant at it, and he got everybody else going,” Gilliam said. “Everybody was just energized by Heath. He was extraordinary. He was almost exhausting because he had so much energy.
“That just passed on to everyone else. Everyone’s part grew because they were full of Heath’s energy,” Gilliam said. “What I thought was interesting was to watch people filling the void that Heath left. Everybody was just growing to make sure that there was no void left in the space that Heath had left us.”
The movie closes with the dedication: “A film from Heath Ledger and friends.”
:\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
I don't often come to EJ although I've been a member forever, but this morning I felt the need to sneak in and just unload some of the weight in my heart. Bear with me, folks.
As Heathens go, I'm one of the older ones around, and my more maudlin moments I sometimes think that's a good thing because it means I'll probably head off into the next great adventure sooner than most other fans, and then - if I'm lucky - I might find out why Heath left us, find out what he's been up to, maybe even get to say hello again. Some days it gets that bad. Mostly I just miss him miss him miss him miss him.........
The premiering of Dr Parnassus this weekend has brought all the waves of sorrow crashing down upon me yet again. I feel directionless. I know I should be out there, talking up the film and giving Heath the last hurrah that he deserves but more often than not I just want to curl up and have a good cry.
He was a beautiful man and he deserved to have a long and beautiful life. The great big hole he has left in so many lives is evidence of how wonderful he was. I miss him.
I think I'll go and light a few candles and then pull myself together and give the Dr P bandwagon another push.
Bye for now.
I can't read those! You say it too beautifully... Sometimes I get a hard feeling that I can't take this... Then I come here and read those... Pain doesn't leave me, I bet it never does... But, as cruel it is, it really helps - to know I'm not alone... So many else are thinking same thoughts as me... Why, oh why he had to leave... I think it's the farthest thought... Like you guys said - he was so, so beautiful man and he'd definitely deserved a long and beautiful life. But we can't change what's happened, we can't never have him back... But it worms my heart, to know, I'm so not alone... What I'm trying to say... Thank you for sharing this horrible pain, without finding this amazing forum I could be much worse condition right now... I'm not saying this just to make you feel pride or something, I'm just telling how I feel right now... So, thank you.
And to Heath...
I miss you every day.
I hope we would have you back.
It's never gonna happen...
I miss you, darling,
more than ever.
:\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi484.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr206%2Flucierose04%2F133.jpg&hash=204fe0587395f213fe0ce88364d3da69e2c63939)Missing you is hard to do
I should have held your hand
When you told me to you know
I should have been more happy
For what I lost is so uncontrollably
I love you more
Then word can say
I miss you more and more
Each day
I think of you
And wish you were here
Making my tears
Disappear
Without you now
You must know
That know matter what I do
Or where I go
I will always think of you
In good times and in bad
You were there for me
When I needed a hand
You were there for me
When I needed to breath
Please wait for me
In heaven you see
For my day will come
If it does
And when it happens
Will you hold my hand
Will you see me too
Will I still be
The best to you
I will prove to myself
That I am the best I can be
And every time I think of you
I will make it through
Another day will pass you see
For the love,lust,and Happiness
You have brought to me
That can't change
No never too me
Brittany Ann Craddock
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc126%2Flancecowboy%2FEnnisHeaven2.jpg&hash=4bc5c943cd13ff43fd34288b7db48ac6171e10c1)Remembering is more than memory
Remembering is more than memory
Feelings that return as real as before
Loving that never ends
Remembering is more than memory
Feelings that bring tears as well as joy
Sorrow is just preparing smiles to take root
Remembering is more than memory
Feelings that real never go away
Loving is as natural as can be
Remembering is more than memory
Feelings that bring smiles also bring tears
Sorrow waters the soil so flowers will bloom
Remembering is more than memory
Feelings that strong cannot be hiddened nor ignored
Loving is to honor in words and in deed,
... as well as to never forget
Remembering is more than memory
... is loving you like this, always.
At first the dictum in german words and than I wil try it in english. If someone find a better words, please translate! Thanx!
Menschen treten in unser Leben und begleiten
uns eine Weile. Einige bleiben für immer,
denn sie hinterlassen ihre Spuren in unseren
Herzen.
Now the translation:
People come into our lives and guide
us for a while. Some will stay for ever,
because they leave their traces in our
Heart.
17 months already(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi553.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fjj388%2FMarnold2007%2FRIPAngel.png&hash=ba2262d05571ad9245a89c2b0c36a491279053dd)(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi123.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo281%2FFiachaa%2FValkyries-Vigil-L.jpg&hash=cc4e1ddbca497253121f0f882fc10c1695abc000)Forever young
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.elpais.com%2Frecorte%2F20080414elpepucul_2%2FLCO340%2FIes%2FHeath_Ledger_durante_visita_Madrid_imagen_archivo.jpg&hash=9e4832597932921a3c43583cb4e4844db65a8151)Goodbye At Last
by Barbi D
Saying goodbye is never easy
It's the hardest thing to do
But what hurts even more
Is not the chance to say it to you.
Yesterday is just a memory
Our laughter was sunny and bright
Then clouds started to gather
For you were no where in sight.
You were my first real love
And this I will never forget
How you left without a warning
No good-byes, my only regret.
Wherever I may be now
Always searching for another so true
To place my world of emotion
Handing my love to someone like you.
If again I must go there
And experience all the pain
I would do it in a minute
For all the good I would gain.
No matter what my wrongs
You offered only love
Until the day you left me
For your new home up above.
I know you still are with me
Your love is within my heart
Though life is no longer present
Our souls will never part.
This is given to you in honor
Of all that we did share
I just wanted you to know, dear,
How much I really did care.
18 months. Who would have thought that this is how it would end... :\'(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx206%2Fbarkank%2FHeath%2520general%25202%2FHeathcollage47.jpg&hash=aa623ed12425ae7269f40d309cfd79277957e7d5)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi731.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fww313%2FsweeT_reVenge_x3%2FHeath%2520Ledger%2Fheathledger_1051.png&hash=6b6fb4f2d2d8c0326f9d3d4d4b9bb0e7be7ea2c9)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi606.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ftt149%2Fjodhduhamelfan%2F3515q8z.gif&hash=597ac28a267f8f73ca84d1adf3a0b6f28ae1b45c)
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe234%2Fboreanaz12%2Fboreanaz12-3%2FMwma-12u-1.jpg%3Ft%3D1238966737&hash=f75cef73efa40e2c9271d966f0cd36f0eb875563)By Boreanaz12REST IN PEACE,OUR SWEET EYES ANGEL...
I've just read the interview Michelle has done for Vogue..its very moving. She talks very eloquently about her loss and how she is trying to deal with that and bringing up Matilda alone.
There was a quote from her that really brought a tear to my eye:
".....but every time I really miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at her."
:\'( :\'( :\'(
http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/2009_October_Michelle_Williams/ (http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/2009_October_Michelle_Williams/)
I did a one day round trip Saturday to Toronto to meet MissisaugaRed and... watch the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus at the Toronto International Film Festival.
Click on the picture below to go to the thread where we started to post about the event.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Ftiff.jpg&hash=e74e4ff51439d1e9bf28e2bba6345b70d5aa7eb2) (http://ennisjack.com/index.php?topic=12652.msg967796#msg967796)
Farewell and thank you Heath!
:_(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff328%2Fangelyspikeforever%2F0a801280256132178384.jpg%3Ft%3D1234033044&hash=649e5fc5187e40e547cdeaadb886e9ea81011e3e)
Gosh, I haven't been to this site for quite a while, not since the anniversary of Heath's death, but again I find myself drawn here with the release of the film. I had the TV on in the background the other day when suddenly I heard Heath's beautiful and distinctive voice and it turned out to be an advert for the film, and my stomach lurched. Oh Heath, all the old emotions are being stirred up again. Just needed to share it with you guys because I know you get it.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi34.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd116%2FKairiPrime%2FHeath.jpg&hash=78527fc16bbc884a63c34ff646d3c2d705d2cc19)
Sometimes I look at the name of this board and just this phrase, "In Memory Of Heath Ledger" is like a punch to my heart. It's like I can't believe that I'm reading these words, it's not right. It shouldn't be. How is it possible? And all of a sudden it sinks in, and I start crying just from reading the title of this thread.
I came across this item in today's Globe and Mail (Toronto):
An Australian rapper who was a boyhood friend of Heath Ledger has released a music video the star directed shortly before his death.
N'fa Forster-Jones posted the 3-minute,31-second clip for his song Cause an Effect on his YouTube and MySpace pages on Thursday
Forster-Jones, who had been friends with Ledger since they were toddlers, said the video was shot in one day in the garage of Ledger's beachside apartment.
This is the link to the video, it's great to hear everything that N'fa has to say about Heath and their working process. They were friends since they were kids and he makes a beautiful tribute here.
Making of video 'Cause An Effect' (dir-Heath Ledger) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqWHqDwCn-I&feature=player_embedded#normal)
** There is one pap shot in the video. Since it's only one photo in a video of over 10 minutes and we figured this is something worth sharing with the members, the mods have decided to allow it.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi484.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr206%2Flucierose04%2F10.jpg&hash=18495cb4d79e3a79fe8bb0412f52dacc3f454f3a)22 MONTHS WITHOUT YOU,MY LOVE;YOU KEEP ON SAILING IN THE SEA WHERE NOBODY FEELS THIS SORROW THAT SURROUNDED YOU IN YOUR LAST TIMES.NOW YOU'RE HAPPY FOREVER...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdeppimpact.freeforums.org%2Fdownload%2Ffile.php%3Fid%3D411&hash=a03622907343cb0ed82ad9a32d25dc9e08bf5485)
:_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_(
I love you sweet Cowboy Heath!!!!
:_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdeppimpact.freeforums.org%2Fdownload%2Ffile.php%3Fid%3D412&hash=42477bcade4fb9afb63a1f05ede64de3160bcce6)
:_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe234%2Fboreanaz12%2Fboreanaz12-3%2F0a1371220566_2049508.gif%3Ft%3D1237297915&hash=0568c199ca9f5d5f202265b2e61549d16efefb6c)I remember leaving A Knight's Tale early
and sneaking in to see Pearl Harbor,
the former just not being serious enough
for me at the time. I wanted something
big, dramatic, epic-in-scope, like Gladiator
or Braveheart, something inspirational.
Pearl Harbor was a bust - I kept guessing
at endings I thought would come but never
did. A few years later I saw Ned Kelly at
a house owned by some people from a church
I used to attend religiously.
I was the only one who really dug it, I think, for more
than Orlando Bloom or for Ledger's curly locks
and so on. Here was the inspiration I was
looking for, the sympathetic antihero
trying to make things right. Then there
was The Brothers Grimm, a great film to look
at if nothing else, with its earth tone reds
and grays, its trees straight out of Sleepy Hollow.
Looking back I think I saw every one of his
movies with a different girl, from 10 Things
which I saw with my sister. You could trace
my entire romantic development by the
curve of his career. And now he's gone.
It's strange how things can affect you that
you know probably shouldn't. How the absence
of someone you rarely even think about,
let alone know, can make you feel your own
mortality. But it happens. Heath Ledger is dead.
No more movies, no more dates who stare
at Ledger's head two stories tall. All that's left
are the DVDs, remnants, memories of things
that used to be brand new, unseen. Years later
I saw A Knight's Tale in its entirety and was
impressed by Ledger's acting, especially toward
the end when his character refuses so adamantly
to give up, to give in and run away, to quit.
Heath Ledger's dead, and I'm afraid there'll be no sequel.
By Simon A. Thalmann
I don't want to say goodbye
Let the stars shine through
No, I don't want to say goodbye
All I wanna do is live with you
:_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_( :_(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi46.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff150%2FLawtowns_Brasileira%2FHeath321.jpg&hash=cc704028cae5a202c86537f9edbce2d7dd56fa89)TWO F!@#$G YEARS WITHOUT YOU...DAMN ¡
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi655.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fuu277%2Fkeren_b_photos%2FHeath%2520general%2FmemorialsfromHeathsflat1.jpg&hash=be98ff455fb6fa1d27a721815e60bc42d7187e20)
"Brokeback mountain" had left in me an immense sorrow,
an unbearable cognition how irrecoverable the time is...
Once you let the chance slip away, you can never get it back.
Coz it passed.
Coz it floated away in the fast river of life.
I was devastated beyond the human's limitations.EnnisHeath had gone without me knowing him well,
without me enjoying his fabulous talent when he was alive.
I truly felt his greatness only when he was already gone.
So irreparable time! So much sadness in me...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp186%2Floreent%2Fennisjack%2FSNIT12.jpg&hash=756b4d2bf8a9024a897684aa11e0c575ba567f81)
Little darlin, rest in peace
in my loving heart,
like this, always ...
I remember that it was very late here in Spain,so I was going to bed; but in the last moment,as if I have guessed that something has happenned,I went to my email account to take a last glance.And then I saw in my yahoo account first page the news...
My first reaction was not believing it and entering here to ask to tell me that it wasn't true,that it was some kind of stupid joke that somebody has done here in Spain because information didn't arrive well from USA...The following day was horrible,even if my Brokie coworker and me counted with the understanding and help of the rest of mates in our office,as I already explained in its moment...
And now that two years have passed,sometimes I have the same feeling; that everything has been a nightmare,a bad joke or an stupid marketing invention.And that some day he will appear telling that he had needed to escape from Hollywood noise and gossip to find himself...What a nonsense,no?.But if it were true... :_( :_( :_(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdeppimpact.freeforums.org%2Fdownload%2Ffile.php%3Fid%3D445&hash=b97b860519eca76dbdf1126bd36ccd8339471e7e)
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
-"Smile" Sung By: Michael Jackson(R.I.P.)
No matter how many months and years I've left this beautiful site, no matter how many new emticons I see here when you write a message, no how many new members join and others are lost, and no matter how many years it's been since Heath Ledger's death, I still will remember how this place was my first home.
This place was where I grieved, where I felt comfort, and where I made new friends during the months after Heath's untimely death.
I remember where I was when Heath died. In my living room, playing a handheld game that I had just found and hadn't played in years. Mom was on the computer and dad was watching the news. I was too focused on the game when my mom told me to look up at the TV screen. Then she typed up something online and showed it to me. It said that Heath was found dead in his Soho apartment. I immediatly asked to go and I was the first one to post on here about it. I was speechless and my heart dropped that day. I must've been on here the rest of the night just watching the news expand around the world. It was heart-breaking.
Last night, at 12:00 in the morning on Janurary 22, 2010, I was in a movie theater looking up and seeing Heath Ledger on my screen..alive and incredible. It was the very last showing of the Imaginarium at our local theater. Everyone that I went with praised the film but the most popular comment abou the film was..."Why did he have to die?". I told everyone later on that night (we were sleeping over a friends house) that it today was the day Heath died, and everyone was stunned. I still remember him..and always will.
It might be two years, but Heath will forever be in my heart.
Miss ya cowboy...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fc2-1.jpg&hash=19e1415d3597a08784f4be23b76b4959fcd6bfab)
...I will always remember you.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi63.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh137%2Fchameau_7%2FHeath%2Fe7.jpg&hash=1f4b775bea0367eb52fd5aab386e4509e99c0c34)
Where I live it has been raining all week, it is like the heavens are crying. And then today the sun broke through and it made me feel a little better. I thought of these wonderful words by Eric Clapton:
Tears In Heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please
Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.
* Dear Sweet Heath you will always be loved & missed *
I felt very sorry that on the 22nd I was away camping, sans internet access. Exacerbating the already-there sadness that I'll doubtless always feel on the 22nd of January, was the keen awareness that I couldn't be here at camp, sharing my feelings with my Brokies, like I did on the first anniversary of our Heath's passing.
So, this is the first chance I've had to come pay my respects, and it does pain me that they come late. :(
Well...what to say; I miss him and love him still, we all do. :_(
Although two years have served to - very gradually - lessen the intensity of the pain and grief, they have not managed to make me love him less. The contrary. Two years without Heath's bodily presence have only served to grow my love for him. The grief is quieter these days, I've reached as much "acceptance" as I probably ever will, but I love him more than ever. The quieting of the intense, overwhelming grief of the first year deprived of Heath - which almost overshadowed, in a way, my love for him - has allowed me to feel closer to him, to feel him around more strongly, and see him in everything around me. In the absence of that crushing grief that is always the strongest in that first year, I no longer exactly feel like he is even gone. How can I truly feel he is gone, when I can feel his beautiful spirit around me whenever it is I take a moment to sense it?
We love you, Heath, just like this, always.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FHeath%25203%2Fwallpaper44.jpg&hash=ec61b716aa7b6e6587f7ffe93362b776bd6e9f9b)
I felt very sorry that on the 22nd I was away camping, sans internet access. Exacerbating the already-there sadness that I'll doubtless always feel on the 22nd of January, was the keen awareness that I couldn't be here at camp, sharing my feelings with my Brokies, like I did on the first anniversary of our Heath's passing.
So, this is the first chance I've had to come pay my respects, and it does pain me that they come late. :(
Well...what to say; I miss him and love him still, we all do. :_(
Although two years have served to - very gradually - lessen the intensity of the pain and grief, they have not managed to make me love him less. The contrary. Two years without Heath's bodily presence have only served to grow my love for him. The grief is quieter these days, I've reached as much "acceptance" as I probably ever will, but I love him more than ever. The quieting of the intense, overwhelming grief of the first year deprived of Heath - which almost overshadowed, in a way, my love for him - has allowed me to feel closer to him, to feel him around more strongly, and see him in everything around me. In the absence of that crushing grief that is always the strongest in that first year, I no longer exactly feel like he is even gone. How can I truly feel he is gone, when I can feel his beautiful spirit around me whenever it is I take a moment to sense it?
We love you, Heath, just like this, always.
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi331.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl442%2FMooTheMoose%2FHeath%2FHeath%25203%2Fwallpaper44.jpg&hash=ec61b716aa7b6e6587f7ffe93362b776bd6e9f9b)
I don't remember if that video was shared here, but Heath is so sweet and happy in that one <^(
What Hurts The Most (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNbhFMhYYrw&feature=rec-r2-2f-8-HM#noexternalembed-normal)
Two days ago, I watched BBM for the first time....I have been in a daze ever since. I feel like I was a shadow on the wall, watching the most intimate passions that belonged to only two people...
Film is a way to tell a story...Story telling has been an art probably since the beginning of man. This story has a very sad effect on me...
I had never seen a Heath Ledger film before... Now, I see why he is so missed. This poem came to mind, it is from another story told in cinema - 4 Weddings and a Funeral.
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W H Auden
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi867.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab235%2Fheathledgerfan_2009%2Fl_4a1d5e77ace404c06c09b6c04ca6e108.jpg&hash=2e3b2dbc17d9d1c5b99517ed2f61a5b74644ac18)A SWEET EYES ANGEL'S SMILE...THE MORE MONTHS PASSED,THE MOST ALIVE YOU ARE INSIDE US.WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. :_( :_( :_(
Why didn't God trust just one person on earth
To fix the mistake heaven forgot to catch...
Eyes like two perfect Milk Duds…
With the smile of a Golden Retriever...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi781.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fyy98%2Fjoraejean%2Fgoldenretrieversmile.jpg&hash=926a26169d33f8c82c14ec7d22400a39dd383c45)(t)
Thinking of Heath, reminded of this song, echoing the quote from Kahlil Gibran:
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain."
The song says, "how does a memory last this long
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends"
The song is not released yet, but you can hear it on http://myspace.com/musicsand (http://myspace.com/musicsand) in the profile playlist.
So I Can Feel You Again - by Ryan Laird
i never listened to the sound of rain
that i don't miss you i don't see your face
it's never what i need cuz what it does to me
it's always the same
a million pictures running through my mind
i reminisce on all the better times
clear as a summer night i know that i can never fight
there is nothing to gain
it takes a hold on me so strong
how does a memory last this long
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learned to love the pain
so i can feel you again
maybe i'm selfish not to let you go
and it goes against everything i know
i am just not ready to stop loving you any time soon
if god has just give me my way, you'd be here with me today
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learned to love the pain
so i can feel you again
so i just hold you down a road that never ends
and i just keep you in my heart that never mends
and now i have learn to love the rain
and then i learned to love the pain
so i can feel you again
i can feel you again
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi13.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa252%2FBecca0821%2Fheath.jpg&hash=9965d4c2d568a5a206a09b2d1e53996373bcc9b4)
ALREADY 29 MONTHS...TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW,BUT IT CAN'T TAKE YOUR MEMORY FROM US.REST IN PEACE,MY SWEET ANGEL...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi484.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr206%2Flucierose04%2F276a.jpg&hash=4cabd240b6b61714a2a2b972441f579165733e40):_( :_( :_( :_(
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe234%2Fboreanaz12%2Fboreanaz12-3%2F0a1Mwma-10C-1.jpg%3Ft%3D1237932061&hash=b8b5df1e63fdde150499a38d0f0a2302ad6cce4b)TIME IS PASSING,BUT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE IN OUR MINDS AND SOULS...
Dear Alicia, your picture is wonderful !(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv732%2FmackenzieO4%2FGIFS%2520October%25202010%2Fabh7w3.gif&hash=1207054d12752321fa5e0a821f48d66ac51495ed)
He is still alive in our hearts O0
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe234%2Fboreanaz12%2Fboreanaz12-3%2F0a1Mwma-102-1.jpg%3Ft%3D1237736884&hash=91748e8e534f2dd8194b718cc1892302e89882f5)SO FAR AWAY AND,HOWEVER,SO CLOSE...