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The Movie & Story => Characters, Quotes & Scenes => Topic started by: tpe on Apr 02, 2008, 07:32 AM

Title: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 02, 2008, 07:32 AM
The sexual roles played by both Ennis and Jack in the different BBM sex scenes (e.g., SNIT) had been discussed in one of the thread, and it is probably appropriate to start a new thread for this topic.

Would you say that Ennis played the passive role in SNIT?  Do you think that he always assumed an active one, or was he more versatile.

The same questions can be asked of Jack.  For instance, did the SNIT as shown in the film imply that Jack sometimes played the active role when he had sex with Ennis?

Please remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 02, 2008, 08:53 AM
The sexual roles played by both Ennis and Jack in the different BBM sex scenes (e.g., SNIT) had been discussed in one of the thread, and it is probably appropriate to start a new thread for this topic.

Would you say that Ennis played the passive role in SNIT?  Do you think that he always assumed an active one, or was he more versatile.

The same questions can be asked of Jack.  For instance, did the SNIT as shown in the film imply that Jack sometimes played the active role when he had sex with Ennis?

Please remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions...


Well, we've already discussed this topic in great lengths in the other thread, and sorry if I went off topic there. I said I would put it to rest, so I'm just keeping my word on that. We already agreed to disagree, and I can live with that.  :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 02, 2008, 02:12 PM
I agree with you Athena!!!  ^f^

Thomas, we were getting a little bit stressed with this topic, so we agreed to put this one to rest, and now...well, here it comes again, and we are so tired, you know, because we've already discussed this topic in another thread....

Thank you so much if you understand.  :^^)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 02, 2008, 02:15 PM
ive been mainly just an on looker at this topic but... i think it should just be left alone for now at least maybe when some new members join it will get active again but i think the sex in BBM is totally open to interpretation so there is no use in arguing :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 02, 2008, 03:27 PM
I think the key to discussions like this is just to lay out what you think, and try to discuss things in the light of differences.

We'll leave the discussion open to others, if they wish to have their say.  Only, don't insist that we all have to agree with each other.  :)

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 02, 2008, 03:39 PM
 I agree. Please leave the topic open for anyone who would like to post on it. If those above choose not to discuss it further, that;s their perogative. No one is forcing anyone to post. I find the topic very inticicing and interesting.The topic includes scenes OTHER  roles and sex scenes other than Jack and Ennis here. It would be unfair to leave others out if they wish to participate in the disscussion. Who's arguing? Were merely having a passionate discussion. Thanx tpe, your 8).
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 02, 2008, 03:42 PM
I agree. Please leave the topic open for anyone who would like to post on it. If those above choose not to discuss it further, that;s their perogative. No one is forcing anyone to post. I find the topic very inticicing and interesting.The topic includes scenes OTHER  roles and sex scenes other than Jack and Ennis here. It would be unfair to leave others out if they wish to participate in the disscussion. Who's arguing? Were merely having a passionate discussion. Thanx tpe, your 8).

oh yer i wasnt asking for it to be closed its just ive noticed some members have been getting a bit hot under the collder over disagreements it all seems fine though now :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 02, 2008, 04:02 PM
 Obiviously we are passionate people and that's fine.

 I'm intrigued by Jack's role in FNIT. The SS refers to him "riding more than bulls. That could be taken more ways than one. What he had in mind by initiating FNIT is open for speculation, but he was the one who seemed to have prior experiences with some type of sex here. Women? or men.? Both?  He was just a little taken aback by Lureen's forwardness in the car, but I think he was bottom here too, though he did like the direction she was  going. I feel he suspected strongly/guessed right about Ennis though in FNIT. These two scenarios though different, gives some insight into what Jack felt his role was. He was willing to be both top or bottom, but I feel he preferred the bottom role the most.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 02, 2008, 04:20 PM
Obiviously we are passionate people and that's fine.

 I'm intrigued by Jack's role in FNIT. The SS refers to him "riding more than bulls. That could be taken more ways than one. What he had in mind by initiating FNIT is open for speculation, but he was the one who seemed to have prior experiences with some type of sex here. Women? or men.? Both?  He was just a little taken aback by Lureen's forwardness in the car, but I think he was bottom here too, though he did like the direction she was  going. I feel he suspected strongly/guessed right about Ennis though in FNIT. These two scenarios though different, gives some insight into what Jack felt his role was. He was willing to be both top or bottom, but I feel he preferred the bottom role the most.
:s) i think i might agree :) but i do think he was top sometimes :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: jackster on Apr 02, 2008, 04:54 PM
I'm intrigued by Jack's role in FNIT. The SS refers to him "riding more than bulls. That could be taken more ways than one. What he had in mind by initiating FNIT is open for speculation, but he was the one who seemed to have prior experiences with some type of sex here.

Just to be a stickler here, but I feel it's important - the "riding more than bulls" phrase by Annie comes in the motel scene in '67, which is of course four years after FNIT of '63. I think the only hint we have that Jack had any more real sexual experience in 1963 than Ennis (who admitted his innocence) was Jack's statement regarding "fellas' like you an' me march off to hell" that prompted Ennis's remark. Jack could have been as virginal as Ennis, just more embarrassed to admit it, huh? He really did seem to "take charge" SNIT though, and he put the moves on Ennis with pretty good authority that looked like he knew what he was doin' - but of course as Annie says - "No instruction manual needed" Ennis did OK FNIT with no "priors". The plot lines between the SS / film script /movie can be very confusing here.

Now, Jack may have discovered it was a lot of fun (since he kinda' took to it pretty well) and in the four years '63-'67 did do all kinds of bull riding.
 ;)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 02, 2008, 04:56 PM
Just to be a stickler here, but I feel it's important - the "riding more than bulls" phrase by Annie comes in the motel scene in '67, which is of course four years after FNIT of '63. I think the only hint we have that Jack had any more real sexual experience in 1963 than Ennis (who admitted his innocence) was Jack's statement regarding "fellas' like you an' me march off to hell" that prompted Ennis's remark. Jack could have been as virginal as Ennis, just more embarrassed to admit it, huh? He really did seem to "take charge" SNIT though, and he put the moves on Ennis with pretty good authority that looked like he knew what he was doin' - but of course as Annie says - "No instruction manual needed" Ennis did OK FNIT with no "priors". The plot lines between the SS / film script /movie can be very confusing here.

Now, he may have discovered it was a lot of fun (since he kinda' took to it pretty well) and in the four years '63-'67 did do all kinds of bull riding. ;)

ver good euphamism :P
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 02, 2008, 08:33 PM
Just to be a stickler here, but I feel it's important - the "riding more than bulls" phrase by Annie comes in the motel scene in '67, which is of course four years after FNIT of '63. I think the only hint we have that Jack had any more real sexual experience in 1963 than Ennis (who admitted his innocence) was Jack's statement regarding "fellas' like you an' me march off to hell" that prompted Ennis's remark. Jack could have been as virginal as Ennis, just more embarrassed to admit it, huh? He really did seem to "take charge" SNIT though, and he put the moves on Ennis with pretty good authority that looked like he knew what he was doin' - but of course as Annie says - "No instruction manual needed" Ennis did OK FNIT with no "priors". The plot lines between the SS / film script /movie can be very confusing here.

Now, Jack may have discovered it was a lot of fun (since he kinda' took to it pretty well) and in the four years '63-'67 did do all kinds of bull riding.
 ;)

You have a real good point there. I've always wondered if Jack was a virgin too. We know Ennis was, but people assume Jack wasn't simply because he seemed to know what he was doing. He really could have been a virgin, and perhaps him appearing to have some experience and initiating things with Ennis may only be because Jack was simply the one with the outgoing personality.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 02, 2008, 08:34 PM
You have a real good point there. I've always wondered if Jack was a virgin too. We know Ennis was, but people assume Jack wasn't simply because he seemed to know what he was doing. He really could have been a virgin, and perhaps him appearing to have some experience and initiating things with Ennis may only be because Jack was simply the one with the outgoing personality.

hmm  posibly and it doesnt take much experience to initiate a sex act by putting a hand on you erection lol its not rocket science its quite plausible jack was also a virgin.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 03, 2008, 01:09 AM
You have a real good point there. I've always wondered if Jack was a virgin too. We know Ennis was, but people assume Jack wasn't simply because he seemed to know what he was doing. He really could have been a virgin, and perhaps him appearing to have some experience and initiating things with Ennis may only be because Jack was simply the one with the outgoing personality.


I agree with you Athena. Maybe Jack had not experience....But if Jack was not virgin, if he had experience, I think it was with women. In the SS and in the film, before the separation for 4 years after BBM, we have no clue to say Jack has had sex with men. Annie told us that Jack has been "riding more than bulls" , but during those four years without Ennis. Before that I don't think Jack was with men. But, well, it's only my perception.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 03, 2008, 04:10 AM
  Here I go again....That's the thing  I love about this film, it leaves so many open-ended questions and at the same time, suggestive.

 I happen to feel Jack  was'nt a virgin. When Ennis admitted his virginity, Jack seem surprised and  quite amused. He did'nt take the opportunity to express his own. In stead , he hands Ennis more whiskey.  ;) ;) Ennis decides to *take the night off*, stay in camp and get wasted with  Jack.Jack led, let's face it, he initiated FNIT which took much courage and suggests some experience seducing another man. "Fellas like you and me" , marching off to hell" already mentioned by jackster ,also suggests some *worldly" experience that warrants " his march into hell" "Waving at the girls in the stands", no doubt at least one waved back on the rodeo circuit.  The man was gorgeous,  Jack comes across to me like a guy, who 'd sneak threw a girl's window at night, while daddy slept with the shotgun under the bed. :)  He could be adoringly charming and still act wild and crazy, but loving Ennis did settle him .

Their sexual roles mirrored their personalities in my opinion, Ennis, somewhat open, but limited , reluctant in  his actions ( You could lead him to water, but you can't make him drink  %(). Jack more open and free, more daring to take chances and dreams of making things better and better for those he loves.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: jackster on Apr 03, 2008, 06:03 AM
You're absolutely right AF, the scenario you layout could work just as well as any other. This is what makes this film truly great art to me, it not only permits, it DEMANDS a variety of valid interpretations.

(Ennis . . . You could lead him to water, but you can't make him drink).

Love this horse analogy. Guess he wus purty thirsty that first night Jack lead him that water, huh?
 O0  O0
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 03, 2008, 07:06 AM
Like a man who finds an oasis in the desert. I say he was limited...not crazy  ;) :*( :cr)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 03, 2008, 07:36 AM
I agree that it's quite open to interpretation as to whether Jack was a virgin or not, with men or women.

I don't think that his initiating things in either FNIT or SNIT necessarily gives us any clues there either. I think that plenty of us have had experience with or as virgins where everyone was able to figure things out pretty well without any prior experience. As AP said, "No instruction manual needed."

As to roles and who did what, I don't know that we got a lot of clues about that either beyond the FNIT. Far as I can tell (aside from Ennis's issues with identifying as being "queer"), it could have gone either way. And even taking those concerns into account, human beings are capable of all kinds of denial. I think just the fact that Ennis spent 20 years moving heaven and earth whenever he could to meet up and make love to another man, and still told himself that it 'wasn't like that', speaks volumes about his ability to separate their relationship from the rest of his sense of identity.

I guess that's my way of saying any of you could be right in your interpretations. :) I'm leaving that one as undetermined in my book.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 03, 2008, 07:38 AM
Reading your posts, I am reminded of the phrase "riding more than bulls" in the ss.  This does seem to indicate a more active role, no?

Of course, the Motel scene as shown in the film is a bit more ambiguous as to who played the active and passive role...

Another strong indication (for me anyway) is the logo on the tractor that Jack was shown to be riding.  The logo spelled "versatile".  One can argue that this term could indicate Jack being active with Lureen/women and passive with Ennis, but the term is usually used in the context of gay relationships.  In this context, it would seem to imply that Jack also took on the active role, as well as the passive.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 03, 2008, 10:07 AM
I tend to think that Jack had some previous sexual experience,and this is not marked exactly for the actions he took,but for the way he did them.His sexual initiative marked a security that -almost- only can be guided for the experience,for little that this can be;bearing in mind that it would be very difficult for a virgin boy in that age and environmental circumstances to act without this security behind with another boy.It's a feeling I have,not only because he's the most outgoing and,somehow,bold of them,easier to reveal even his most intim reactions...I'd also like to speak about this phrase that has been remarked some times in this thread:-"Fellas like you and me march off to Hell"; it maybe can be OT,but it doesn't seem so to me.I've always wondered what Jack meant with this:if he was only referring to "boys of our social class",or it's implicit some kind of allusion to his supposed sexual life-as you say,AF,he's surprised for Ennis virginity,but also reveals IMO,some hidden pleasure before the possibility of being his first lover-.Or maybe is a kind of checking Ennis out about his possible homosexuality,because the signals each one of them were sending maybe were unseen for Ennis,but not for Jack...In any case,all these behaviours are telling me that he had already had his "first time" and that his role could be interchangeable.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 03, 2008, 10:13 AM
I tend to think that Jack had some previous sexual experience,and this is not marked exactly for the actions he took,but for the way he did them.His sexual initiative marked a security that -almost- only can be guided for the experience,for little that this can be;bearing in mind that it would be very difficult for a virgin boy in that age and environmental circumstances to act without this security behind with another boy.It's a feeling I have,not only because He's the most outgoing and,somehow,bold of them,easier to reveal even his most intim reactions...I'd also like to speak about this phrase that has been remarked some times in this thread:-"Fellas like you and me march off to Hell"; it maybe can be OT,but it doesn't seem so to me.I've always wondered what Jack meant with this:if he was only referring to "boys of our social class",or it's implicit some kind of allusion to his supposed sexual life-as you say,AF,He's surprised for Ennis virginity,but also reveals IMO,some hidden pleasure before the possibility of being his first lover-.Or maybe is a kind of checking Ennis out about his possible homosexuality,because the signals each one of them were sending maybe were unseen for Ennis,but not for Jack...In any case,all these behaviours are telling me that he had already had his "first time" and that his role could be interchangeable.

Maybe when Jack said "Fellas like you and me march off to hell", I always feel he was talking about himself being homosexual, and that he had a strong feeling Ennis was homosexual too, so he said "fellas like you and me".
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: jackster on Apr 03, 2008, 10:16 AM
"Fellas like you and me march off to Hell"; it maybe can be OT, but it doesn't seem so to me. I've always wondered what Jack meant with this: if he was only referring to "boys of our social class",or it's implicit some kind of allusion to his supposed sexual life . . .

Speaking as an expert in these matters ( ::) ) . . . I've always figured this meant drinking, swearing, taking the Lords name in vain, etc. etc. Since his mother "believed in the Pentecost" I figured he was instructed to believe that all the things bad boys did was a ticket to hell. Sex may or may not be a part of Jack's experience here at this point, but we know for sure he was good a swearing and drinking. Sex probably too, at least attempted sex and the desire for sex, which to many is also a ticket to the same warm environment. JMHO.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 03, 2008, 10:21 AM
Maybe when Jack said "Fellas like you and me march off to hell", I always feel he was talking about himself being homosexual, and that he had a strong feeling Ennis was homosexual too, so he said "fellas like you and me".
Speaking as an expert in these matters ( ::) ) . . . I've always figured this meant drinking, swearing, taking the Lords name in vain, etc. etc. Since his mother "believed in the Pentecost" I figured he was instructed to believe that all the things bad boys did was a ticket to hell. Sex may or may not be a part of Jack's experience here at this point, but we know for sure he was good a swearing and drinking. Sex probably too, at least attempted sex and the desire for sex, which to many is also a ticket to the same warm environment. JMHO.

I agree with both of you,because on one hand,allusions to their way of living and/or to "be a sinner"-with women-are logicals in their context.But I´ve always had the feeling ,on the other hand,that in this phrase there was implicit another allusion to homosexuality;it was a kind of "discovering" what Ennis could feel about this,according to his answer to this "fellas like you and me".
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 03, 2008, 10:34 AM
Sometimes I think that we lose sight of the fact that these two characters were not educated men.  Their scope of knowledge probably did not jive with their individual experiences.  That being said, I have always held the belief that the character of Jack had previous homosexual encounters.

I would not say his relative aggressiveness in the sex department came from a personality issue, but as has been stated previously, from a certain comfort level due to his previous experience(s).  I think that Jack was the (for lack of a better term) "wilier" of the two men, and there is every reason to believe his comment about being sinners was partially designed to prod Ennis into revealing something that he (Jack) may have been suspecting or hoping for.  Up to that point in both the film and the written story, Ennis had done nothing to even let Jack know that he may possibly be gay.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 03, 2008, 10:36 AM
Sometimes I think that we lose sight of the fact that these two characters were not educated men.  Their scope of knowledge probably did not jive with their individual experiences.  That being said, I have always held the belief that the character of Jack had previous homosexual encounters.

I would not say his relative aggressiveness in the sex department came from a personality issue, but as has been stated previously, from a certain comfort level due to his previous experience(s).  I think that Jack was the (for lack of a better term) "wilier" of the two men, and there is every reason to believe his comment about being sinners was partially designed to prod Ennis into revealing something that he (Jack) may have been suspecting or hoping for.  Up to that point in both the film and the written story, Ennis had done nothing to even let Jack know that he may possibly be gay.
hmmmm maybe  :s) quite possibly actually
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: jackster on Apr 03, 2008, 10:37 AM
Of course we know how Ennis interpreted it when he replied:

 "Speak for yourself, you may be a sinner, but I ain't yet had the opportunity"

So he thought it was sex, no doubt. Hetero or Homo, isn't spelled out.
But he sure had a cute smile when looked at Jack!
 O0
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 03, 2008, 10:40 AM
Of course we know how Ennis interpreted it when he replied:

 "Speak for yourself, you may be a sinner, but I ain't yet had the opportunity"

So he thought it was sex, no doubt. Hetero or Homo, isn't spelled out.
But he sure had a cute smile when looked at Jack!
 O0

I didn't interpret it that way when I first saw it or read it.  I assumed he Ennis took Jack's comment in general terms, and responded in kind.  I don't think he had enough deceit in his soul to read that far into Jack's comment.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 04, 2008, 08:07 AM
I see that the discussion is going in the direction about prior sexual expereince and persumed virginity before BBM, which is a bit tangent to the sicussion of sexual roles.  Would you think this is OT or is it related to the current discussion? 

If not exactly related and if you would want to continue discussing thisw in greater depth, should we open another thread about this topic?

I can't recall if the topic had already been created some time ago and is somewhere here...


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 04, 2008, 08:12 AM
I think that discussing their sexual history is quite relevent in shedding light on their individual sexual identities at the time when he story took place.  JMO
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 04, 2008, 08:22 AM
I think that discussing their sexual history is quite relevent in shedding light on their individual sexual identities at the time when he story took place.  JMO

The "Was Ennis Gay" and the equivalent Jack threads also have extensive discussions revolving around sexual identity, but I think you mean that their sexual history is relevant to whether they were active or passive? 

The primary question at hand is whether or not each one took on a rigid sexual role (passive vs. active) or whether they were more versatile.  When we discuss their possible sexual histories, perhaps we can make a direct connection to this question?

I'll wait for additional input/comments.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 04, 2008, 08:25 AM
The "Was Ennis Gay" and the equivalent Jack threads also have extensive discussions revolving around sexual identity, but I think you mean that their sexual history is relevant to whether they were active or passive? 

Yes that is what I meant  :)

The primary question at hand is whether or not each one took on a rigid sexual role (passive vs. active) or whether they were more versatile.  When we discuss their possible sexual histories, perhaps we can make a direct connection to this question?

If we are talking about specific sexual activities, then I don't think there was much flexibility...to put it in delicate terms, I don't think Ennis slept in the bottom bunk...EVER.  Yet, I also think that the foreplay they engaged in was very fluid in regards to who was being comforted and who was comforting.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 08:27 AM
The "Was Ennis Gay" and the equivalent Jack threads also have extensive discussions revolving around sexual identity, but I think you mean that their sexual history is relevant to whether they were active or passive? 

The primary question at hand is whether or not each one took on a rigid sexual role (passive vs. active) or whether they were more versatile.  When we discuss their possible sexual histories, perhaps we can make a direct connection to this question?

I'll wait for additional input/comments.


i beleive for no particular reason that both ennis and jack both gave and recieved thats just what i think that was just the way i percieved things. we seen in FNIT that jack received but in SNIT who knows jack was on top kissing, did he stay there for the sex?
and as for the motel scene Ennis looked like he had been the passive partner by the way he was leaning in on jack but again we dont know nothing is certain.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 04, 2008, 08:28 AM

Yes that is what I meant  :)

If we are talking about specific sexual activities, then I don't think there was much flexibility...to put it in delicate terms, I don't think Ennis slept in the bottom bunk...EVER.  Yet, I also think that the foreplay they engaged in was very fluid in regards to who was being comforted and who was comforting.

OK then.  It is relevant to a discussion of roles.

And you have put out clearly your views as to versatility, or lack thereof.  ;)


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 04, 2008, 08:30 AM
i beleive for no particular reason that both ennis and jack both gave and recieved thats just what i think that was just the way i percieved things. we seen in FNIT that jack received but in SNIT who knows jack was on top kissing, did he stay there for the sex?
and as for the motel scene Ennis looked like he had been the passive partner by the way he was leaning in on jack but again we dont know nothing is certain.

Fair enough.  I do feel that there are things in those scenes that could suggest this.  :)


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 04, 2008, 08:40 AM
Fair enough.  I do feel that there are things in those scenes that could suggest this.  :)


Yes I agree with this also, but if I may insert a  bit of personal (hopefully not too) information here:  When it comes to that one activity, I am undeneiably a giver, and have never been a receiver, yet in the midst of passionate foreplay, you would never know that.  I think Ennis may have wanted that, but because of his own internalized homophobia, he would never let that happen.  IMHO
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 04, 2008, 08:44 AM
Yes I agree with this also, but if I may insert a  bit of personal (hopefully not too) information here:  When it comes to that one activity, I am undeneiably a giver, and have never been a receiver, yet in the midst of passionate foreplay, you would never know that.  I think Ennis may have wanted that, but because of his own internalized homophobia, he would never let that happen.  IMHO

This is where I think experience and sexual history comes in.  If one were relatively new/fresh/untried, then perhaps roles have not yet hardened into conventions. 

Interesting point you draw with homophobia.  I think I understand what you mean here.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 04, 2008, 09:00 AM
I agree that this is a possibility, given Ennis's general perceptions and the possible impact they could have on such choices.

I also don't know enough about why any individual chooses or prefers one role over the other, so I can't speak to that.

As to the various scenes that have been referenced as possible clues in this, I have to agree with Scott that what takes place before or after does not necessarily reflect or reveal who was in which position during.

I hope this made sense.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 09:02 AM
I agree that this is a possibility, given Ennis's general perceptions and the possible impact they could have on such choices.

I also don't know enough about why any individual chooses or prefers one role over the other, so I can't speak to that.

As to the various scenes that have been referenced as possible clues in this, I have to agree with Scott that what takes place before or after does not necessarily reflect or reveal who was in which position during.

I hope this made sense.

it did but me being a stuborn aries wont budge from what i think just yet :P
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 04, 2008, 09:43 AM
Don't worry - we're not asking you to. :)

(Good thing, too, because I can be the queen of stubborn sometimes :i - sorry, OT)


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 04, 2008, 09:48 AM
I really feel it wasn't always one way, it really doesn't make sense to me for them to be always one way. I believe that during the time he was being passionate and intimate with Jack, Ennis wouldn't be thinking of homophobia, because those were the moments he was truly free to be himself, and they both weren't thinking of who was "dominant" or "passive"...they just let things happen. So I believe Jack was on top some of the times, and Ennis was on bottom some of the times, and vice versa...that's the way I see it, and I believe their foreplay was very indicative of that.  But I don't want to stress us all out and start another argument, with pages and pages so I've already said we can agree to disagree on this one.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 09:52 AM
I really feel it wasn't always one way, it really doesn't make sense to me for them to be always one way. I believe that during the time he was being passionate and intimate with Jack, Ennis wouldn't be thinking of homophobia, because those were the moments he was truly free to be himself, and they both weren't thinking of who was "dominant" or "passive"...they just let things happen. So I believe Jack was on top some of the times, and Ennis was on bottom some of the times, and vice versa...that's the way I see it, and I believe their foreplay was very indicative of that.  But I don't want to stress us all out and start another argument, with pages and pages so I've already said we can agree to disagree on this one.
i agree with you on both points :) i beleive they were interchanging in their roles in sex and i also agree to agree to disagree  :i that was confusing lol.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 04, 2008, 09:58 AM
What about the women in BBM? I mean, Lureen definitely seems to be someone who knows what she wants. Cassie seemed like that too.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 10:00 AM
What about the women in BBM? I mean, Lureen definitely seems to be someone who knows what she wants. Cassie seemed like that too.
haha lureen seemed to be in control in the back of that car lol alma was always very passive and cassie looked as if she would have been quite active :P
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 04, 2008, 10:04 AM
I just enjoy hearing the various points of view, whether they're likely to change my mind or not. As long as they're expressed with respect to the other members and their own perceptions, I'm happy. :) Sometimes I see things in a new way after these discussions.

For me, with this topic, whatever my speculations or impressions might be, I feel comfortable leaving this as an unknown variable in the story. Just as we only got a glimpse into their SNIT, I will close the tent flap and give them their privacy here as well.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 10:07 AM
I just enjoy hearing the various points of view, whether they're likely to change my mind or not. As long as they're expressed with respect to the other members and their own perceptions, I'm happy. :) Sometimes I see things in a new way after these discussions.

For me, with this topic, whatever my speculations or impressions might be, I feel comfortable leaving this as an unknown variable in the story. Just as we only got a glimpse into their SNIT, I will close the tent flap and give them their privacy here as well.
agreed the sex isnt nearly as important as the love which we know was beautiful  <^( lol
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 04, 2008, 10:07 AM
haha lureen seemed to be in control in the back of that car lol alma was always very passive and cassie looked as if she would have been quite active :P

Yeah, Alma's nature strikes me as passive even though she does try to initiate things with Ennis. Alma wasn't the type of person who was really comfortable with sexuality, unlike Lureen and Cassie. Do you think Lureen caught Jack by surprise?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 04, 2008, 10:10 AM
Yeah, Alma's nature strikes me as passive even though she does try to initiate things with Ennis. Alma wasn't the type of person who was really comfortable with sexuality, unlike Lureen and Cassie. Do you think Lureen caught Jack by surprise?

yea she did lol i could see in those beautiful eyes of his he was thinking "i waited longer thn this before FNIT man shes fast", lol
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 05, 2008, 06:00 AM
Lureen is a question?  No matter how aggressive she was at first, there was a slow erosion of the relationship as the years went on.  Jack seem to blame it on her and continuing interest in the business.  So what it was that made her find solice in an "adding machine" than her husband?

Alma, Lureen and Cassie, from what I see, couldn't compete with intensity of Jack and Ennis relationship, even though their saw each other only a "once or twice" a year. 

Jack and Ennis was so totally unaware how they affected the women in their lives.  The indifference Ennis showed Alma, as he rolled off Alma, the distance between Jack and Lureen, and the inability of Cassie even being able to get a clue at what made Ennis tick, she had to ask Alma, Jr.   

All these women were caught up in the wake of the love these two men had for each other.  The sexual aspect of Jack and Ennis couldn't be touched or matched by any of these women.   No matter  what went on with Jack and Ennis, the battle within Ennis, Jack simmering impatience, it didn't diminish the need for both had for each other, and I think it was all set aside, when they laid down with each other, and roles could have been interchangeable, or maybe no roles at all.  It could have been just that touch, that sound, an intake of breath that could have determine what would go on between them at that moment. 

Just my take.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 05, 2008, 06:42 AM
Lureen is a question?  No matter how aggressive she was at first, there was a slow erosion of the relationship as the years went on.  Jack seem to blame it on her and continuing interest in the business.  So what it was that made her find solice in an "adding machine" than her husband?

Alma, Lureen and Cassie, from what I see, couldn't compete with intensity of Jack and Ennis relationship, even though their saw each other only a "once or twice" a year. 

Jack and Ennis was so totally unaware how they affected the women in their lives.  The indifference Ennis showed Alma, as he rolled off Alma, the distance between Jack and Lureen, and the inability of Cassie even being able to get a clue at what made Ennis tick, she had to ask Alma, Jr.   

All these women were caught up in the wake of the love these two men had for each other.  The sexual aspect of Jack and Ennis couldn't be touched or matched by any of these women.   No matter  what went on with Jack and Ennis, the battle within Ennis, Jack simmering impatience, it didn't diminish the need for both had for each other, and I think it was all set aside, when they laid down with each other, and roles could have been interchangeable, or maybe no roles at all.  It could have been just that touch, that sound, an intake of breath that could have determine what would go on between them at that moment. 

Just my take.

F*ckin' beautiful.  ^f^  :cr)  :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: jackster on Apr 05, 2008, 08:35 AM
F*ckin' beautiful.  ^f^  :cr)  :)
I'll second that MHG.  O0
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 05, 2008, 02:27 PM
Lureen is a question?  No matter how aggressive she was at first, there was a slow erosion of the relationship as the years went on.  Jack seem to blame it on her and continuing interest in the business.  So what it was that made her find solice in an "adding machine" than her husband?

Alma, Lureen and Cassie, from what I see, couldn't compete with intensity of Jack and Ennis relationship, even though their saw each other only a "once or twice" a year. 

Jack and Ennis was so totally unaware how they affected the women in their lives.  The indifference Ennis showed Alma, as he rolled off Alma, the distance between Jack and Lureen, and the inability of Cassie even being able to get a clue at what made Ennis tick, she had to ask Alma, Jr.   

All these women were caught up in the wake of the love these two men had for each other.  The sexual aspect of Jack and Ennis couldn't be touched or matched by any of these women.   No matter  what went on with Jack and Ennis, the battle within Ennis, Jack simmering impatience, it didn't diminish the need for both had for each other, and I think it was all set aside, when they laid down with each other, and roles could have been interchangeable, or maybe no roles at all.  It could have been just that touch, that sound, an intake of breath that could have determine what would go on between them at that moment. 

Just my take.

Yes, that's true. And it wasn't just the sexual aspect of it. It's the whole true, deep, pure love that Jack and Ennis had. No woman (or man) in their lives could ever, ever come even a little bit close to that. It was an epic love. Ennis and Jack could never feel the love they had for each other for anyone else, that's why it was indeed true love. They were truly each other's soulmates.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 05, 2008, 02:41 PM
Yes, that's true. And it wasn't just the sexual aspect of it. It's the whole true, deep, pure love that Jack and Ennis had. No woman (or man) in their lives could ever, ever come even a little bit close to that. It was an epic love. Ennis and Jack could never feel the love they had for each other for anyone else, that's why it was indeed true love. They were truly each other's soulmates.
yep they had the truest love ive ever seen or heard off :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 05, 2008, 03:39 PM
I get the feeling this was'nt Lureen's first rodeo , and Cassie was no wall flower waiting to be plucked. Alma, she's another story, but these women went after who they wanted, which made it even more convenient for the boys. They did'nt have to pursue them traditionally, but their strong-willed personalities may have posed a more dangerous scenario for Ennis and Jack. Except for Alma's case, suspecting is one thing, knowing for sure is another. They only had to tell one person, a friend, a mother etc..., and the story gets bigger on down the line. Though I see both Cassie and Lureen as agressive women, there are still expectations when it came to men sexually. Just imagine if Ennis was married to Cassie instead of Alma during the reunion scene. No doubt, that scene would have gone very differently than it did. It would not be pretty.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 05, 2008, 03:45 PM
I get the feeling this was'nt Lureen's first rodeo , and Cassie was no wall flower waiting to be plucked. Alma, she's another story, but these women went after who they wanted, which made it even more convenient for the boys. They did'nt have to pursue them traditionally, but their strong-willed personalities may have posed a more dangerous scenario for Ennis and Jack. Except for Alma's case, suspecting is one thing, knowing for sure is another. They only had to tell one person, a friend, a mother etc..., and the story gets bigger on down the line. Though I see both Cassie and Lureen as agressive women, there are still expectations when it came to men sexually. Just imagine if Ennis was married to Cassie instead of Alma during the reunion scene. No doubt, that scene would have gone very differently than it did. It would not be pretty.

Well the cops would have been called out that night.  With Ennis explosive temper it would have been a frying pan  or 30.30 in Cassie's hand that night. 

Seriously, neither of them got a beat on either man, Cassie or Lureen.  Strong personality is all well and good, but if someone is not letting you near them, what good does it do?  In the long run, how well did they know deep down the men in their lives?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 05, 2008, 04:48 PM
I get the feeling this was'nt Lureen's first rodeo , and Cassie was no wall flower waiting to be plucked. Alma, she's another story, but these women went after who they wanted, which made it even more convenient for the boys. They did'nt have to pursue them traditionally, but their strong-willed personalities may have posed a more dangerous scenario for Ennis and Jack. Except for Alma's case, suspecting is one thing, knowing for sure is another. They only had to tell one person, a friend, a mother etc..., and the story gets bigger on down the line. Though I see both Cassie and Lureen as agressive women, there are still expectations when it came to men sexually. Just imagine if Ennis was married to Cassie instead of Alma during the reunion scene. No doubt, that scene would have gone very differently than it did. It would not be pretty.

Well, first off, Ennis wouldn't have "pursued" anyone anyway. He was very much someone who played by the rules (except when it came to Jack, of course). It's why Ennis was a virgin when he was engaged to Alma...very much playing by the rules of a traditional society. Alma was quite the traditionalist as well. Cassie and Lureen, of course, as well as Jack, all quite the maverick personalities. I do agree, that although Cassie wasn't a traditionalist...seeing Ennis was in love with another man would have been huge...she would have probably gone down those stairs right in the middle of their kissing! Yeah, Ennis's secret would definitely have been no secret for long.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 05, 2008, 05:28 PM
Speaking about the women in the film...uh..I think is OT, but well, I don't know where to talk about this....(help me, please?  ^f^ )

We everybody knows that Jack liked men, but in Texas, during the rodeo where Jack met Lureen, when Lureen winked at Jack after Jack gave her the hat, Jack's face is all gooey, dreamy. He looked at her all shy and happy, and when she was riding away he was looking in her direction, smiling softly and with "that" face, you know. I mean, you can tell he liked Lureen. Please look at that face carefully. I know everybody thinks that Jack only wanted her for her money, but in that scene Jack looks at her sweetly. And later, in the bar, he was looking at her all the time BEFORE the barman said to him that his father had money. Maybe Jack liked women too....I wonder...  ???  ???

And I noticed that Jack made the first move with Ennis and Jimbo, the clown, but with Lureen he was all shy. First at the rodeo (he looks so innocent there, almost like a child) and then in the bar, unable to go to where she was, and unable to say a word when she spoke to him finally. So, was Jack more confident with men?  ???  ???

I have so many doubts here.  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 05, 2008, 05:45 PM
Speaking about the women in the film...uh..I think is OT, but well, I don't know where to talk about this....(help me, please?  ^f^ )

We everybody knows that Jack liked men, but in Texas, during the rodeo where Jack met Lureen, when Lureen winked at Jack after Jack gave her the hat, Jack's face is all gooey, dreamy. He looked at her all shy and happy, and when she was riding away he was looking in her direction, smiling softly and with "that" face, you know. I mean, you can tell he liked Lureen. Please look at that face carefully. I know everybody thinks that Jack only wanted her for her money, but in that scene Jack looks at her sweetly. And later, in the bar, he was looking at her all the time BEFORE the barman said to him that his father had money. Maybe Jack liked women too....I wonder...  ???  ???

And I noticed that Jack made the first move with Ennis and Jimbo, the clown, but with Lureen he was all shy. First at the rodeo (he looks so innocent there, almost like a child) and then in the bar, unable to go to where she was, and unable to say a word when she spoke to him finally. So, was Jack more confident with men?  ???  ???

I have so many doubts here.  ::)  ::)

i often wonder if what jack had for lureen was similar to what i have for jake a love out side the sexual preference  :s) but obviously it still wasnt as strong as his love for ennis.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 05, 2008, 06:01 PM
 He did seem attractted to Lureen, found her beautiful, but it was she who actively pursued him. Looks to me like she had her heart set on him, alone and appears to turn down other pursuers in the bar. He kept looking, she kept looking, but it was she who made the *mating call* I wonder if she had'nt came over, would he have gone to her? When Jack was left to actively pursue someone, it was a man. I feel men were his preference.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 05, 2008, 06:42 PM
He did seem attractted to Lureen, found her beautiful, but it was she who actively pursued him. Looks to me like she had her heart set on him, alone and appears to turn down other pursuers in the bar. He kept looking, she kept looking, but it was she who made the *mating call* I wonder if she had'nt came over, would he have gone to her? When Jack was left to actively pursue someone, it was a man. I feel men were his preference.

I agree.  Jack's personality was definitely not "Ennis like", but after the "Jimbo" disaster Jack was not taking any chances.   Jack lonely, probably missing Ennis, needed to connect with someone anyone.  And Lureen set her sights on him, and went in for the kill.  And Jack let's face it, broke, hungry and lonely, he was easy pickins.  Is this a moral dilemma some might see it that way, but not if you're hungry, how long Jack resisted his need for a man, you're guess is as good as mine. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 05, 2008, 11:53 PM
Lureen was a little temptress alright. Texas style! I had the same look Jack had on his face when she whipped off that bra. heellooo .  ;)Can't really blame her from the looks of Jack, but Jack had already experienced the love of a life time. He was lookin right, gorgeous, yes, but she did'nt really know him.  he married her , but did he really know her? I don't think so.  I agree, he was so broke, diectionless  and hungry+ Ennis had done it, why not? I think he liked her a whole lot, but love? Nah, not imo.They were so young ,and that breeds foolishness and ignorance as well. The marriage had no solid true basis. Jack was still in love with Ennis, the opposite of Lureen  in every way.  Lureen felt she could have it all, a gorgeous guy to show off to Texas society, money and a great carreer , the perfect set up right? Wrong.
 I feel every experience , including sexual ,he had with her would  be compared to the one he cherished.  Don't think it came close to what he really wanted. Came back hoping to work with Ennis again the following summer true to his word. Not the actions of someone who's found love, lost love, and moved on.  Only four yrs. later he can't stand it any longer and seeks Ennis out again.

 4 yrs, A time period that does not really suggest longevity in a marriage of those times, but must've seemed  a lifetime to Jack who I feel, always felt he would re-unite again with Ennis ,the only one who completes him in every way. love that scene in the motel room where he claims he did'nt know thet gonna "git into it agin", then has to  admit he redlined it all the way...That grin <^( <^( Marriage to the beautiful rodeo champ Lureen, and family life, left much to be desired I feel  he eventually came to resent her because she was'nt Ennis.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: athena0204 on Apr 06, 2008, 01:52 AM
Lureen was a little temptress alright. Texas style! I had the same look Jack had on his face when she whipped off that bra. heellooo .  ;)Can't really blame her from the looks of Jack, but Jack had already experienced the love of a life time. He was lookin right, gorgeous, yes, but she did'nt really know him.  he married her , but did he really know her? I don't think so.  I agree, he was so broke, diectionless  and hungry+ Ennis had done it, why not? I think he liked her a whole lot, but love? Nah, not imo.They were so young ,and that breeds foolishness and ignorance as well. The marriage had no solid true basis. Jack was still in love with Ennis, the opposite of Lureen  in every way.  Lureen felt she could have it all, a gorgeous guy to show off to Texas society, money and a great carreer , the perfect set up right? Wrong.
 I feel every experience , including sexual ,he had with her would  be compared to the one he cherished.  Don't think it came close to what he really wanted. Came back hoping to work with Ennis again the following summer true to his word. Not the actions of someone who's found love, lost love, and moved on.  Only four yrs. later he can't stand it any longer and seeks Ennis out again.

 4 yrs, A time period that does not really suggest longevity in a marriage of those times, but must've seemed  a lifetime to Jack who I feel, always felt he would re-unite again with Ennis ,the only one who completes him in every way. love that scene in the motel room where he claims he did'nt know thet gonna "git into it agin", then has to  admit he redlined it all the way...That grin <^( <^( Marriage to the beautiful rodeo champ Lureen, and family life, left much to be desired I feel  he eventually came to resent her because she was'nt Ennis.

Yes, you said it all. In the beginning, Jack liked Lureen. It wasn't love, because Jack already had one true love, Ennis, of course, but there was a liking towards Lureen that Jack must have felt. Like the liking someone has for a nice friend. Their marriage had everything to do with Jack being broke and feeling like he didn't know where he was going in life. Lureen's motives for marriage...exactly like you said. She thought Jack was part of having it all...a gorgeous guy to have waiting for her at the end of a long day at work. Little did she know his heart was elsewhere...and eventually that feeling of liking that Jack had for Lureen in the beginning turns to resentment and a feeling of being trapped because as you said...she's not his one true love, nothing can ever come close to the power and depth of true love. Jack belonged with only one person, his soulmate, Ennis.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 06, 2008, 08:24 AM
He did seem attractted to Lureen, found her beautiful, but it was she who actively pursued him. Looks to me like she had her heart set on him, alone and appears to turn down other pursuers in the bar. He kept looking, she kept looking, but it was she who made the *mating call* I wonder if she had'nt came over, would he have gone to her? When Jack was left to actively pursue someone, it was a man. I feel men were his preference.
I agree.  Jack's personality was definitely not "Ennis like", but after the "Jimbo" disaster Jack was not taking any chances.   Jack lonely, probably missing Ennis, needed to connect with someone anyone.  And Lureen set her sights on him, and went in for the kill.  And Jack let's face it, broke, hungry and lonely, he was easy pickins.  Is this a moral dilemma some might see it that way, but not if you're hungry, how long Jack resisted his need for a man, you're guess is as good as mine. 

Lureen was a little temptress alright. Texas style! I had the same look Jack had on his face when she whipped off that bra. heellooo .  ;)Can't really blame her from the looks of Jack, but Jack had already experienced the love of a life time. He was lookin right, gorgeous, yes, but she did'nt really know him.  he married her , but did he really know her? I don't think so.  I agree, he was so broke, diectionless  and hungry+ Ennis had done it, why not? I think he liked her a whole lot, but love? Nah, not imo.They were so young ,and that breeds foolishness and ignorance as well. The marriage had no solid true basis. Jack was still in love with Ennis, the opposite of Lureen  in every way.  Lureen felt she could have it all, a gorgeous guy to show off to Texas society, money and a great carreer , the perfect set up right? Wrong.
 I feel every experience , including sexual ,he had with her would  be compared to the one he cherished.  Don't think it came close to what he really wanted. Came back hoping to work with Ennis again the following summer true to his word. Not the actions of someone who's found love, lost love, and moved on.  Only four yrs. later he can't stand it any longer and seeks Ennis out again.  
4 yrs, A time period that does not really suggest longevity in a marriage of those times, but must've seemed  a lifetime to Jack who I feel, always felt he would re-unite again with Ennis ,the only one who completes him in every way. love that scene in the motel room where he claims he did'nt know thet gonna "git into it agin", then has to  admit he redlined it all the way...That grin <^( <^( Marriage to the beautiful rodeo champ Lureen, and family life, left much to be desired I feel  he eventually came to resent her because she was'nt Ennis.

I agree girls. I've always thought that Jack liked Lureen because she was beautiful and kind, and he was so alone, missing Ennis, broke and hungry, after the Jimbo humiliation, far from home, without friends, needing to connect with another human being, needing friendship and companionship, someone to caress him and love him. When you are drowning in the sea you hold whatever you can reach, even if that is a nail burning hot, if you know what a mean. Loneliness and hunger...so much for that Jack 20 years old.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 06, 2008, 08:27 AM
I agree girls. I've always thought that Jack liked Lureen because she was beautiful and kind, and he was so alone, missing Ennis, broke and hungry, after the Jimbo humiliation, far from home, without friends, needing to connect with another human being, needing friendship and companionship, someone to caress him and love him. When you are drowning in the sea you hold whatever you can reach, even if that is a nail burning hot, if you know what a mean. Loneliness and hunger...so much for that Jack 20 years old.

hmm true
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 07, 2008, 06:40 AM
I agree girls. I've always thought that Jack liked Lureen because she was beautiful and kind, and he was so alone, missing Ennis, broke and hungry, after the Jimbo humiliation, far from home, without friends, needing to connect with another human being, needing friendship and companionship, someone to caress him and love him. When you are drowning in the sea you hold whatever you can reach, even if that is a nail burning hot, if you know what a mean. Loneliness and hunger...so much for that Jack 20 years old.

Yes,I agree too,even if I think that there was a component of some sexual attraction also in Jack's side.She was beautiful,young,sexy,the perfect companion for someone,indeed,so lonely and sad for having lost his true love as Jack was.There was enough basis as to build a more or less strong relationship,because it's more than possible than Lureen fell for him,even in a very frivolous and superficial way-of course,not a solid basis enough as to build a marriage...-.After that,both of them was the perfect partner for each other; as you said,for Lureen,Jack was a gorgeous boy to introduce to society,who was a hard worker-bearing in mind the economical side of their marriage,that soon became practically the only one-and,why couldn't it be? could represent a kind of rebellion against her father's strict rules,making her own life in her own home with someone old Newsome didn't like too much,moreover.And for Jack,his wife represented a security-both social,economical and sexual; in this case,against gossip and suspicious glances-,a very necessary smokescreen when he decided to look for his real love,Ennis.He knew very well,and as we see some years after,that two married men are less in the hurricane's eye than two singles and/ or divorced.But I really think that,in the beginning,there was some kind of attraction for both sides.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 07, 2008, 06:58 AM
What about the women in BBM? I mean, Lureen definitely seems to be someone who knows what she wants. Cassie seemed like that too.

I suspect that Lureen took charge most of the time, although I am quite sure shw was always on the receiving end.  ;)

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: sassym on Apr 07, 2008, 12:25 PM
hmm  posibly and it doesnt take much experience to initiate a sex act by putting a hand on you erection lol its not rocket science its quite plausible jack was also a virgin.
I've always felt that a 19 year old Jack in 1963 was as virginal as Ennis, but that he recognized his attraction to Ennis and Ennis's attraction to him, shown so wonderfully by Ang in the film.
 I remember  being 19 (^) and  with the  attraction those two boys had for each other, coupled with daily interaction, and living in close quarters, FNIT was inevitable.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: sassym on Apr 07, 2008, 12:33 PM
Lureen is a question?  No matter how aggressive she was at first, there was a slow erosion of the relationship as the years went on.  Jack seem to blame it on her and continuing interest in the business.  So what it was that made her find solice in an "adding machine" than her husband?

Alma, Lureen and Cassie, from what I see, couldn't compete with intensity of Jack and Ennis relationship, even though their saw each other only a "once or twice" a year. 

Jack and Ennis was so totally unaware how they affected the women in their lives.  The indifference Ennis showed Alma, as he rolled off Alma, the distance between Jack and Lureen, and the inability of Cassie even being able to get a clue at what made Ennis tick, she had to ask Alma, Jr.   

All these women were caught up in the wake of the love these two men had for each other.  The sexual aspect of Jack and Ennis couldn't be touched or matched by any of these women.   No matter  what went on with Jack and Ennis, the battle within Ennis, Jack simmering impatience, it didn't diminish the need for both had for each other, and I think it was all set aside, when they laid down with each other, and roles could have been interchangeable, or maybe no roles at all.  It could have been just that touch, that sound, an intake of breath that could have determine what would go on between them at that moment. 

Just my take.
That's the most beautiful thing I've read in a long long time. Glad I came over today:)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 08, 2008, 07:50 AM
I've always felt that a 19 year old Jack in 1963 was as virginal as Ennis, but that he recognized his attraction to Ennis and Ennis's attraction to him, shown so wonderfully by Ang in the film.
 I remember  being 19 (^) and  with the  attraction those two boys had for each other, coupled with daily interaction, and living in close quarters, FNIT was inevitable.

It is entirely plausible that Jack was also virgin prior to the summer of 63 -- what we think of as hints of expereince may just be a facade.  If this were indeed the case, then it is also probable that sexual roles reamined ambiguous/not set for both of them when they met.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 08, 2008, 07:52 AM
It is entirely plausible that Jack was also virgin prior to the summer of 63 -- what we think of as hints of expereince may just be a facade.  If this were indeed the case, then it is also probable that sexual roles reamined ambiguous/not set for both of them when they met.



We would need to specify whether we are discussing movie or book Jack.  In the book, it was narrative, not dialogue, that hinted at Jack's pre-1963 sexual past.  The would give more credence to it being fact not interpretation.  The movie (as is the case with so many of these discussions) was far more ambiguous.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 08, 2008, 07:57 AM
We would need to specify whether we are discussing movie or book Jack.  In the book, it was narrative, not dialogue, that hinted at Jack's pre-1963 sexual past.  The would give more credence to it being fact not interpretation.  The movie (as is the case with so many of these discussions) was far more ambiguous.

Yes, the movie is much more ambiguous -- although I do think there were hints in some of the scenes that would lead us to believe that he did have some prior experience (if we are to believe that Jack was actively finding a way to get both of them to spend the night in the camp at the same time, for example).

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 08, 2008, 07:58 AM
Yes, the movie is much more ambiguous -- although I do think there were hints in some of the scenes that would lead us to believe that he did have some prior experience (if we are to believe that Jack was actively finding a way to get both of them to spend the night in the camp at the same time, for example).



Simple but true, but this thought hit me...are we coloring Jack's motivations with our own experiences of subtle sexual manipulation?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 08, 2008, 08:05 AM
Simple but true, but this thought hit me...are we coloring Jack's motivations with our own experiences of subtle sexual manipulation?

We probably are.  There is enough ambiguity with both Jack and Ennis for this to be rendered quite probable.  In the case of Jack, in particular, I am convinced that each of us views his motivations in some form of personal lens.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 08, 2008, 03:03 PM
Yes, the movie is much more ambiguous -- although I do think there were hints in some of the scenes that would lead us to believe that he did have some prior experience (if we are to believe that Jack was actively finding a way to get both of them to spend the night in the camp at the same time, for example).




I don't know well why Jack wanted Ennis to stay in the camp, but he wanted that for sure. First he was bitching about Aguirre and when Ennis told him about change roles he said that the TWO of them should sleep in the camp. Then Ennis said again that he would be happy up with the sheep at night, and Jack gave him a look and said to him that he was not gonna sleep much up there, like trying to persuade him to stay. That very day when Ennis was by his horse getting ready to leave, Jack said AGAIN that he was not gonna sleep much, like saying "stay here".

I see that as Jack wanting Ennis to sleep in the same tend with him, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, that doesn't mean that Jack wanted sex or that Jack had experience in sex.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 08, 2008, 04:16 PM

I don't know well why Jack wanted Ennis to stay in the camp, but he wanted that for sure. First he was bitching about Aguirre and when Ennis told him about change roles he said that the TWO of them should sleep in the camp. Then Ennis said again that he would be happy up with the sheep at night, and Jack gave him a look and said to him that he was not gonna sleep much up there, like trying to persuade him to stay. That very day when Ennis was by his horse getting ready to leave, Jack said AGAIN that he was not gonna sleep much, like saying "stay here".

I see that as Jack wanting Ennis to sleep in the same tend with him, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, that doesn't mean that Jack wanted sex or that Jack had experience in sex.

Jack wanted Ennis to sleep in the same tend with him because he was looking for sex with him since he felt attracted from the very moment they met...That's something already known,even if they ALSO had a strong friendship.And,on the other hand,Jack showed some slightly obvious seduction's skills,maybe too many in the Case's of homosexual seduction for the first time-a 19 years old boy can be prepared for this with girls,but not always with another boy,and much more in that age...-.However,yes,it results a little ambiguous,above all in the movie.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 08, 2008, 07:36 PM
I think it was Ennis who really wanted to stay in camp that night, and made the decision "its too late to go up to them sheep".    Ennis growing attachment to Jack all started when he lost the food.   Jack was nonjudgemental, he was concerned about Ennis's well being, and when Ennis wanted to stick with beans, Jack saw it differently, saw a lot of things differently.   Ennis may have not understood what he was feeling, but he was feeling something for his new friend.  And from that moment on wanted to be near him.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 09, 2008, 07:32 AM
Good points here.

As Tammy said, Jack "designing" it all doesn't necessarily mean that he had sexual experience beforehand, although it does hint at him being more calculating -- something we see a lot with people who are a bit more experienced.  As MPJ noted, Jack seemd to be more well versed in the art of seduction.  Although I msut agree with MG in that I felt that Ennis did also want to stay the night during the FNIT, even though I would tend to think that Ennis was probably less experienced or inexperienced...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 09, 2008, 12:24 PM
Good points here.

As Tammy said, Jack "designing" it all doesn't necessarily mean that he had sexual experience beforehand, although it does hint at him being more calculating -- something we see a lot with people who are a bit more experienced.  As MPJ noted, Jack seemd to be more well versed in the art of seduction.  Although I msut agree with MG in that I felt that Ennis did also want to stay the night during the FNIT, even though I would tend to think that Ennis was probably less experienced or inexperienced...

Oh,I didn't explain myself well enoughˇ: I also feel that Ennis also wanted to stay with Jack during FNIT.I've never said the contrary,in fact...I only was answering to Tammy's post where she was speaking about how Jack seemed to insist to have Ennis stayed in the camp.But only about Jack's wishes in this sense,what it's obvious,at least for me,that was also shared by Ennis.The only difference was that Jack,always more demonstrative and open,knew better how to get this; letting aside the fact that he surely had some previous experience and more seduction's abilities,consequently.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 09, 2008, 01:04 PM
I think it all depends on what exactly was going through Jack's mind when he said " you'll freeze your ass off when the fire dies down", and Ennis's having yet had the "opportunity" to experience sex.. Jack was trying to coax Ennis into the tent then. Was he concerned so much that Ennis was cold and "hammering "his teeth,?  Maybe,or was it  something more? Why was he still up in the middle of the night when the fire did die down? Just could'nt sleep I guess. Nah, I feel Jack put 2 and 2 together when Ennis decided to stay in camp with him that night. Feel he figured Ennis wanted something to happen from the the moment he confessed his lack of "opportunity". and knew Ennis was never gonna make that first move. Ennis's insistence on sleeping outside the tent is telling, tells me that Ennis knew Jack wanted him in the tent for a reason. other than "warmth". I feel he did'nt know when, but I think he anticipated something from Jack. He was holding back as Ennis does alot, but when Jack all but demanded he "get in here" he goes in. Jack ends up snuggled back up against Ennis with PLENTY of room left in the bedroll on his side. Warmth? or a calculated step by Jack on the way to his seduction in FNIT? The camera angle makes a point to show this. When Jack finally does make  his move, it is an insistent, dertermined one. Ennis puts up a brief struggle, but readily gives in to what he knew would happen eventually. It just took a little *prompting* from Jack to get this episode underway.Sounds calculating on Jack's part, but Ennis's decision to stay in camp goes against his strict *work ethic* but presents Jack with the opportunity they both sought to have. None of this proves that Jack had *first hand* experience, but imo he sure looked like he knew what he was doing. His attempt to pick up the rodeo clown, post Brokeback  to me, says this is not something a near-virgin would do. I think he'd done it before with success, but it "nobody's business but ours". Who could blame him, Ennis was giving off all sorts of signals + he (t) ;) was a walking dream come true.   My take on it.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 09, 2008, 04:24 PM
Mmmmm, I have doubts here. I know that Jack wanted Ennis to sleep in the tend with him (I said that in my previous post) and I also know that Ennis wanted too. But I think what led them to FNIT was all premeditated but what happens that very night in camp not. I mean, of course Jack wanted to have Ennis in the tend, but I think that when he said " you'll freeze your ass off when the fire dies down”, he meant it. That was true, Ennis will die of cold!!! And I think when he said “get in here” he was really concerned about Ennis being so cold. We all saw how worried and concerned was Jack during the bear incident. He loved Ennis and he wanted him to be OK, so I think that, yeah he wanted Ennis to sleep with him, but he really wanted Ennis to be warm and safe too. Jack was so loving and caring, don’t forget it. Of course, then he did the right movements because the situation was perfect, but I think that night he was not calculating. When we saw him in the tend he was not open eyes, thinking, just waiting for Ennis like SNIT. He was half asleep, trying to really sleep, and he seemed some “annoyed” when he couldn’t sleep because of Ennis hammering, or maybe he was annoyed because the stubborn Ennis was cold out there for not wanting to sleep in the tend by his side. I don’t know well, but being caring and open like Jack was and fight for what you want doesn’t mean that you are calculating or you are an experienced seducer. And I’m NOT saying that Jack was virgin, but I think that there are a lot of people out there who has not experience in some things and they go for them not matter what. I see that all time at work: people doing things so confident, to be promoted, when they are scared too and they have no idea of what they are doing. I see that everyday with my friends in love. There are so many young couples where the two of them have no experience and one of them always does the first move and act like he/she knows what to do and how to do it. Seduction? Yeah, but there are 15 years old teens who are good seducers and there are people 40 years old who are not able to do what Jack did. Sometimes when you want something you do anything to get what you want, knowing or not what to do. I call that to be brave. Jack was that all his life.

I agree with all your posts. I’m only trying here to show that maybe Ennis went there not only because he wanted Jack but also because he was cold; and Jack not only called Ennis to had him there with him, but because he didn’t want his friend to freeze his ass. Sometimes the most simply things are the true. I give them and their good faith and friendship some credit. Just MHO.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 09, 2008, 04:53 PM
well put tammy i too beleive part of the reason jack told ennis to come in the tent that night really was out of concern for his friends helth because of the cold not just simply because jack wanted an oppertunity to lure Ennis in for sex.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 09, 2008, 05:13 PM
Ennis to me is a classic passive aggressive, (I hope I'm using it correctly).   It was too late to go to the sheep,  he stays in camp, Jack's offers the tent for the night, he chose to sleep outside, when the fire goes out,  instead of relighting it, he makes noises knowing full well Jack wasn't going let him sleep in the cold.   Jacks makes his move, Ennis takes over.   I may sound cynical, but I'm not, These two were headed for a collision, (using a term that one of our brokies coined in his own tread),  that led to what happened that night.   JMO.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 10, 2008, 05:13 AM
Ennis to me is a classic passive aggressive, (I hope I'm using it correctly).   It was too late to go to the sheep,  he stays in camp, Jack's offers the tent for the night, he chose to sleep outside, when the fire goes out,  instead of relighting it, he makes noises knowing full well Jack wasn't going let him sleep in the cold.   Jacks makes his move, Ennis takes over.   I may sound cynical, but I'm not, These two were headed for a collision, (using a term that one of our brokies coined in his own tread),  that led to what happened that night.   JMO.

Yes,you're right in that the collision was unavoidable between the two of them,and that they have been looking for them some time ago.But for me the problem isn't as much about words and/or actions they did that night,but as about many former others...I mean,they have been sending signals in many ways long before,what was more evident in the hours prior to FNIT.In Ennis case,the first move would never have been done,and Jack was afraid to scare him if his own more open and bolder way of being led him to a too sudden approachment.
So,that afternoon they began to speak,to make jokes...and to drink during hours and hours.Ennis left his duty of going up the mountain with sheep to be with his friend,both consciously and unconsciously;maybe he knew that alcohol takes a lot of inhibition away and he played the game until the end.And Jack didn't ask him to do his duty because he also wanted to be with him,so,in exchange,he full Ennis can with whiskey or gave him the bottle again and again,and the other accepted; Jack also knew the alcohol effects,and how this could help to his intentions,so,he also played the game until the end.
And in this end,both of them were drunken but not enough as to not knowing what could happenned,what Ennis wished and was afraid about at the same time...For this reason,he didn't want to go to the tent from the beginning,until the cold-yes,I'm innocent here,but I guess the cold made Jack ask him to enter in the tent and made Ennis do it,in spite of his fears...-until the cold obliged him to make what he wished,and what he knew was going to happen soon.It's to say,for me,the sharing of the tent was an innocent and logical conclusion to some former hours that led to FNIT,during which their behaviour was premeditated and,so,not so innocent.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 10, 2008, 07:15 AM
Mmmmm, I have doubts here. I know that Jack wanted Ennis to sleep in the tend with him (I said that in my previous post) and I also know that Ennis wanted too. But I think what led them to FNIT was all premeditated but what happens that very night in camp not. I mean, of course Jack wanted to have Ennis in the tend, but I think that when he said " you'll freeze your ass off when the fire dies down”, he meant it. That was true, Ennis will die of cold!!! And I think when he said “get in here” he was really concerned about Ennis being so cold. We all saw how worried and concerned was Jack during the bear incident. He loved Ennis and he wanted him to be OK, so I think that, yeah he wanted Ennis to sleep with him, but he really wanted Ennis to be warm and safe too. Jack was so loving and caring, don’t forget it. Of course, then he did the right movements because the situation was perfect, but I think that night he was not calculating. When we saw him in the tend he was not open eyes, thinking, just waiting for Ennis like SNIT. He was half asleep, trying to really sleep, and he seemed some “annoyed” when he couldn’t sleep because of Ennis hammering, or maybe he was annoyed because the stubborn Ennis was cold out there for not wanting to sleep in the tend by his side. I don’t know well, but being caring and open like Jack was and fight for what you want doesn’t mean that you are calculating or you are an experienced seducer. And I’m NOT saying that Jack was virgin, but I think that there are a lot of people out there who has not experience in some things and they go for them not matter what. I see that all time at work: people doing things so confident, to be promoted, when they are scared too and they have no idea of what they are doing. I see that everyday with my friends in love. There are so many young couples where the two of them have no experience and one of them always does the first move and act like he/she knows what to do and how to do it. Seduction? Yeah, but there are 15 years old teens who are good seducers and there are people 40 years old who are not able to do what Jack did. Sometimes when you want something you do anything to get what you want, knowing or not what to do. I call that to be brave. Jack was that all his life.

I agree with all your posts. I’m only trying here to show that maybe Ennis went there not only because he wanted Jack but also because he was cold; and Jack not only called Ennis to had him there with him, but because he didn’t want his friend to freeze his ass. Sometimes the most simply things are the true. I give them and their good faith and friendship some credit. Just MHO.  ^f^

 I see what your saying, believe me ,and I ,by no means intend to undermine the fact that  Jack was a caring,  nuturing individual. He proved it many times throughout the film.
 It was in the scene where Jack is singing and talking about his mother that Ennis decided he was'nt going back to the sheep. It was still light out. He could've cut short their time and left, he chose to stay. He was with Jack and decided to take a night off and spend it with him. Next time we see him, he's so drunk, he can't stand.  It's dark by the time he's crawling around on his hands and knees. Certainly now, not only is  it too late, He's in no condition to ride a horse anywhere!. Not saying that Jack was not concerned for Ennis's health,  Ennis was shivering cold when the fire died down. but opportunty to be with Ennis at night together did'nt come along often. . I'm sure Ennis was no stranger to sleeping in the cold, but  maybe the word *calculating* has some evil , negative overtone.  I'm not implying that Jack was doing/did anything wrong. Jack wanted him in the tent with him. to be close. Maybe I should say ,he took advantage of the opportunity givin him.

I feel Ennis was between wanting to be lured in and not wanting to be lured by Jack, but he was'nt gonna crawl in on a suggestion that he would freeze to death. Yes, Jack was concerned, but I think Ennis sensed something more. I  feel that his insistence on staying outside the tent, suggests that he was'nt quite ready to trust the situation.. He was drunk and not in control of his faculties. Perhaps he did'nt trust himself at that point, opting for an extra blanket and riding out at first light. What he thought could happen, did happen,  something they'd both thought about. They were falling in love. Their different  reactions  leading up to this were  beautiful , natural,, honest, and sincere, and yes... suggestively seductive. Jack wanted to be Ennis's first lover and v/v  so I think they both sensed something would happen , both wanted it to happen though they took different approaches getting there. I don't doubt their faith and friendship at all, but I feel on this night, the chance  to express his love was there and Jack took it and Ennis  eventually followed suit.  Speculation but,,,just sayin..Thanx. ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 10, 2008, 07:21 AM
Oh,I didn't explain myself well enoughˇ: I also feel that Ennis also wanted to stay with Jack during FNIT.I've never said the contrary,in fact...I only was answering to Tammy's post where she was speaking about how Jack seemed to insist to have Ennis stayed in the camp.But only about Jack's wishes in this sense,what it's obvious,at least for me,that was also shared by Ennis.The only difference was that Jack,always more demonstrative and open,knew better how to get this; letting aside the fact that he surely had some previous experience and more seduction's abilities,consequently.

Sorry for misunderstanding you, MPJ.  :)

In this regard, at the very least, we can say that Jack took more of an active role, and Ennis a passive one.  This is mirrored in the reunion 4 years later.

This sort of gets me thinking again about the women in their lives.  Cassie and Lureen definitely were definitely "active" in the pursuit of their men.    The case of Lureen is of course interesting, since Jack clearly takes a "passive" approach to the relationship, if not sexually in bed.  As someone mentioned, the sex scene in the truck is interesting precisely because it is Lureen who is on top of Jack -- the "language" of the scene is quite suggestive, IMO.



Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 10, 2008, 07:24 AM

Thanks, aintfoolin, Tammy, and zankou.  :)

Ennis to me is a classic passive aggressive, (I hope I'm using it correctly).   It was too late to go to the sheep,  he stays in camp, Jack's offers the tent for the night, he chose to sleep outside, when the fire goes out,  instead of relighting it, he makes noises knowing full well Jack wasn't going let him sleep in the cold.   Jacks makes his move, Ennis takes over.   I may sound cynical, but I'm not, These two were headed for a collision, (using a term that one of our brokies coined in his own tread),  that led to what happened that night.   JMO.

I stand partially corrected.  This is indeed a more precise way to describe Ennis.  In the reunion scene, for instance, although Jack is the one who takes the initiative of re-establishing contact, it is Ennis who sets the tone of the meeting with that opening kiss...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 10, 2008, 05:42 PM
I see what your saying, believe me ,and I ,by no means intend to undermine the fact that  Jack was a caring,  nuturing individual. He proved it many times throughout the film.
 It was in the scene where Jack is singing and talking about his mother that Ennis decided he was'nt going back to the sheep. It was still light out. He could've cut short their time and left, he chose to stay. He was with Jack and decided to take a night off and spend it with him. Next time we see him, he's so drunk, he can't stand.  It's dark by the time he's crawling around on his hands and knees. Certainly now, not only is  it too late, He's in no condition to ride a horse anywhere!. Not saying that Jack was not concerned for Ennis's health,  Ennis was shivering cold when the fire died down. but opportunty to be with Ennis at night together did'nt come along often. . I'm sure Ennis was no stranger to sleeping in the cold, but  maybe the word *calculating* has some evil , negative overtone.  I'm not implying that Jack was doing/did anything wrong. Jack wanted him in the tent with him. to be close. Maybe I should say ,he took advantage of the opportunity givin him.
I feel Ennis was between wanting to be lured in and not wanting to be lured by Jack, but he was'nt gonna crawl in on a suggestion that he would freeze to death. Yes, Jack was concerned, but I think Ennis sensed something more. I  feel that his insistence on staying outside the tent, suggests that he was'nt quite ready to trust the situation.. He was drunk and not in control of his faculties. Perhaps he did'nt trust himself at that point, opting for an extra blanket and riding out at first light. What he thought could happen, did happen,  something they'd both thought about. They were falling in love. Their different  reactions  leading up to this were  beautiful , natural,, honest, and sincere, and yes... suggestively seductive. Jack wanted to be Ennis's first lover and v/v  so I think they both sensed something would happen , both wanted it to happen though they took different approaches getting there. I don't doubt their faith and friendship at all, but I feel on this night, the chance  to express his love was there and Jack took it and Ennis  eventually followed suit.  Speculation but,,,just sayin..Thanx. ^f^

Beautiful post AF, as always!!  ^f^

I see what you're saying here. In fact, I said almost the same, that Jack was really concerned but he did the right movements because the situation was perfect, and of course, he wanted Ennis to sleep with him. I've never doubted about it. It was just I didn't believe that everything was "planned" or something like that.

I agree with you.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 11, 2008, 05:40 AM
In the reunion scene, for instance, although Jack is the one who takes the initiative of re-establishing contact, it is Ennis who sets the tone of the meeting with that opening kiss...

Exactly tpe,  Jack might have tried to guide things,  but Ennis unknowingly charters the course.   And it was this way throughout their relationship.  and it wasn't planned, or thought of.   If Ennis knew what was up with Jack that when he was in camp  that night with Jack, and tried to play "hard to get" or even had caution signs in his mind, than for me that kills it. 

But from the start to end  of this love affair  it was an uncontrolled, unknowing reasons why he was drawn to Jack, and when Jack touches him that night, no plans, no instruction book, but it was something he couldn't help, or even wanted help, it was what it was.

Like tpe pointed in the reunion,  Jack reach out after four years, but with Ennis's "you bet"  it happened all over again.  When Ennis hugged Jack, and but  then slammed him against the wall and passionately kissed him, that trigger was pulled.  But not one time did Ennis ever actively, knowingly, or even plans, all he needs is Jack near him. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 11, 2008, 07:35 AM
This is I think a fundamental difference between their roles: Jack mediatated on their roles and in the case of Ennis, it was all largely spontaneous and uncontrolled.  There is something elemental In Ennis's approach, whereas Jack's can be so lyrical -- almost like a piece of music.

The difference is seen very beautifully in the Dozy Embrace.  Ennis makes this most tender of gestures to Jack -- almost instinctively and unconsciously.  But it is Jack that mediatates on the scene, and gives t a unique significance.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Scott6373 on Apr 11, 2008, 08:06 AM
I can easily see this topic spinning off into a "Who was in control of this relationship?" tangent.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 11, 2008, 06:49 PM
 The sex scenes in the film between Alma and Ennis also gave some insight into what Ennis felt his sexual role meant. First he has a habit of flipping people over to his advantage. He'd flip her over just as he flipped Jack in FNIT taking the more dominant position without consent. . Then in the second scene , to her reference to birth control, or lack of it, Ennis  gives the impression that sex with her was only for pro-creation purposes. I may be reaching but well...are'nt their other ways to prevent pregnacy other than abstaining completely? Certainly it speaks to Alma's frustration concerning Ennis's lack of job prospects to support more children but she had to guess what was really going on here. It was Alma's call but Ennis seemed content to be celibate except when it came to Jack. I think he'd found his preference with Jack cuz he shared so much more with him. Therfore, more fulfilling.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 11, 2008, 08:45 PM
The sex scenes in the film between Alma and Ennis also gave some insight into what Ennis felt his sexual role meant. First he has a habit of flipping people over to his advantage. He'd flip her over just as he flipped Jack in FNIT taking the more dominant position without consent. . Then in the second scene , to her reference to birth control, or lack of it, Ennis  gives the impression that sex with her was only for pro-creation purposes. I may be reaching but well...are'nt their other ways to prevent pregnacy other than abstaining completely? Certainly it speaks to Alma's frustration concerning Ennis's lack of job prospects to support more children but she had to guess what was really going on here. It was Alma's call but Ennis seemed content to be celibate except when it came to Jack. I think he'd found his preference with Jack cuz he shared so much more with him. Therfore, more fulfilling.

I agree wholeheartedly with you.   Sex with Alma was a duty, Jack pure passion and Love.   But did Ennis approach both in the exact same way?   With Jack Ennis risk being vulnerable.  he could easily flip Jack over, and then totally succumb to Jack.  That's the difference. Don't you think Ennis may have needed that, he was like a clenched  fist most of his life, hammering at what he calls a life, but with Jack that's all gone for a week, once or twice a year.  Why is it so hard to see that Ennis himself can lay down with the one person that meant any thing to him, and totally be taken over and wanted it.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 12, 2008, 07:22 AM
I agree wholeheartedly with you.   Sex with Alma was a duty, Jack pure passion and Love.   But did Ennis approach both in the exact same way?   With Jack Ennis risk being vulnerable.  he could easily flip Jack over, and then totally succumb to Jack.  That's the difference. Don't you think Ennis may have needed that, he was like a clenched  fist most of his life, hammering at what he calls a life, but with Jack that's all gone for a week, once or twice a year.  Why is it so hard to see that Ennis himself can lay down with the one person that meant any thing to him, and totally be taken over and wanted it.   

beautiful words mg i agree :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 14, 2008, 08:16 AM
Scott's warning is of course interersting, having read the latest posts by MG and AF.

There is certainly a difference, and I must say that even in the FNIT where we see Jack take on a passive role, you get the sense that he was very much in control of the situation.  I guess this does happen in relationships, where the passive partner drives and shapes the desire in the other.    The question of sexual role and sexual control can be distinguished from each other in certain instances, IMO.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 14, 2008, 05:57 PM
Scott's warning is of course interersting, having read the latest posts by MG and AF.

There is certainly a difference, and I must say that even in the FNIT where we see Jack take on a passive role, you get the sense that he was very much in control of the situation.  I guess this does happen in relationships, where the passive partner drives and shapes the desire in the other.    The question of sexual role and sexual control can be distinguished from each other in certain instances, IMO.



Yes, Jack had control on that first night, when Ennis flips him over and Jack lets him. Then what of the second night when Jack lays Ennis down, and Ennis lets him.  Both had control of the other, and roles played out.  Maybe it was a sense that each had for the other, at that moment one would succumb to the other.

Just a thought.  (may not be a good one).     

Just a thought.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: bearhugman on Apr 15, 2008, 12:06 AM
Hi, I don't know how relevient this is to this thread, but it seems assummed that there was sex involved that second night, to be honest it didn't cross my mind that they would f*** that night! The second night was, for me, about everything but sex.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 15, 2008, 02:10 AM
Hi, I don't know how relevient this is to this thread, but it seems assummed that there was sex involved that second night, to be honest it didn't cross my mind that they would f*** that night! The second night was, for me, about everything but sex.

Notions of being passive/submissive aside, I have to say that I LOVE this post. Thanks manbearpig (South Park flashback, just kidding  ;D ) bearhugman  :c)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 15, 2008, 07:14 AM
I felt that the second night was about everything, including sex, IMO.  You see in the SNIT Jack taking the role of mentor -- as an active agent, no matter what "position" he ended up in.

MG's comment about FNIT can very much be extrapolated to the SNIT, IMO.  Here we distinguish between "apparent" and "intrinsic" roles, if you get what I mean...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 15, 2008, 09:44 AM
I felt that the second night was about everything, including sex, IMO.  You see in the SNIT Jack taking the role of mentor -- as an active agent, no matter what "position" he ended up in.

MG's comment about FNIT can very much be extrapolated to the SNIT, IMO.  Here we distinguish between "apparent" and "intrinsic" roles, if you get what I mean...

SNIT was about everything,including sex,yes;but the difference lies in making love,not just having sex.And IMO,in both nights,Jack is in control of the situation,as a "teacher"-let's say so...-;even in FNIT,when it seems as if Ennis was playing a more dominant role,he really is following the path that Jack has marked previously.This has taken the initiative in something that after Ennis will end in an active,but secondary role.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 16, 2008, 06:38 AM
I feel that had there been a banana hanging from a tree just in front of the tent that night, come morning that banana would be missing  :i
Just kidding, I think they made love including sex. Take care.  ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 16, 2008, 07:05 AM
SNIT was about everything,including sex,yes;but the difference lies in making love,not just having sex.And IMO,in both nights,Jack is in control of the situation,as a "teacher"-let's say so...-;even in FNIT,when it seems as if Ennis was playing a more dominant role,he really is following the path that Jack has marked previously.This has taken the initiative in something that after Ennis will end in an active,but secondary role.

I agree: "making love" is of course the meaningful manifestation of the sexual act, as opposed to a manifestation of raw animal desire. 

I also agree that Jack was in "passive" control during the FNIT, in contrast to Ennis's more visceral reaction.  Good distinction you draw here, MPJ.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 16, 2008, 07:11 AM
Just kidding, I think they made love including sex. Take care.  ;D

Certainly, it included all the bells and whistles, in a meaningful way...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 17, 2008, 04:08 AM
Reading MPJ, and tpe  made me think of  final confrontation, and Ennis hesitation in telling Jack his plans to change the date of their next meeting.  His caution look, biting his nails.  He had control for a short time, but than Jack took away or took it back.  He let it be known that he could and did go to someone else, which made Ennis loose that very control he thought he had.  Then when Jack wished he could quit Ennis, this was something Ennis couldn't handle and brokedown.  When tpe wrote:

I felt that the second night was about everything, including sex, IMO.  You see in the SNIT Jack taking the role of mentor -- as an active agent, no matter what "position" he ended up in.

MG's comment about FNIT can very much be extrapolated to the SNIT, IMO.  Here we distinguish between "apparent" and "intrinsic" roles, if you get what I mean...



I kind of understand what MPJ and tpe were talking about.  The illusion of Ennis's control, and the reality of Jack's control. 

Am I close?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 17, 2008, 06:58 AM
Reading MPJ, and tpe  made me think of  final confrontation, and Ennis hesitation in telling Jack his plans to change the date of their next meeting.  His caution look, biting his nails.  He had control for a short time, but than Jack took away or took it back.  He let it be known that he could and did go to someone else, which made Ennis loose that very control he thought he had.  Then when Jack wished he could quit Ennis, this was something Ennis couldn't handle and brokedown.  When tpe wrote:
 
I kind of understand what MPJ and tpe were talking about.  The illusion of Ennis's control, and the reality of Jack's control. 

Am I close?

You are quite close, MG.  You said it very well and very clearly -- I am apt to be quite cryptic at times, I know.  But ift would seem that after a while, Jack did seem to have the upper hand in this regard.   But it probably brought Jack very little happiness or relief.  His needs were simple and singular: he wanted Ennis badly, no matter what the sexual roles were.

 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 21, 2008, 03:59 PM
Indeed, it was Jack who took the inititive in most cases. I don't feel he conciously realized just how much control he did have over Ennis. Ennis was for the most part reactionary. Yes, he actively particiated, but it was Jack who initiated FNIT, the reunion, and also sought Ennis out in the divorce scene etc... Had he not initiated FNIT, I wonder how long it would have taken Ennis to *get it*? Would SNIT ever happened? Ennis was reacting to what Jack had initially shown him. Though Ennis knew of Earl and Rich, it was Jack who brought the reality home to him. That two men really can have sexual feelings for each other and not only that, but that two men can fall in love, and express that love thru love-making. He presented love unconditionally to Ennis and Ennis absorbed it like a thirsty sponge.

I feel Jack helped Ennis realize his *true* calling in these trips . Ennis was focused on one thing when the times came. Throwing clothes in a bag with a excitment not often seen in his everyday life with Alma. This speaks of the control Jack had over Ennis, not only sexually, but emotionally. mentally, and every other way possible. Ennis needed Jack to control his life so he could react the way he needed to. It was essential that Jack showed up, if not, Ennis would be lost. What he got from Jack was what he needed to feel like a complete person, no matter what role he played sexually. The thought of loosing Jack brought on gut-wrenching agony and tears for Ennis. Maybe he could'nt show it to Jack in Signal, post-Brokeback, but he sure did in the confrontation scene. It's clear, who  really had control .  Ennis loved Jack, and twice broke down at the mere thought of loosing him . A true test of a life without Jack? Ennis could never pass it. MO.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 21, 2008, 04:47 PM
Beautiful AF!! I quote the whole thing. But I think Ennis had some power in their relationship too, you know, the short leash....They did or didn't what Ennis said all along. I mean, their relationship was based on Ennis rules: Meeting once in while, middle of nowhere, no way living together, I can't make it in August...Jack was tied.

I think they both had some control in different levels.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 21, 2008, 06:48 PM
Certainly Ennis had some control in the relationship as you say, timing the meetings, where, and when etc...but he  was walking that fine line between what he needed in his life and what Jack COULD withold if he so desired.  He was obviously living on the faith of Jack's love for him especially after the scene by the steam where Ennis admits "there's no reins on this one". Jack accepted the conditions at first, but grew increasingly tired of the pretense, but for Ennis, without Jack he could'nt be who he needed to be. could'nt be who he really was ,which had nothing to do with roles or rules in those moments in his life..

If Jack was to become so frustrated and not show up, where would that leave Ennis? It would'nt matter to Ennis who laid down the law. he would have been stripped of all control and power. He'd only know one thing, Jack was missing from his life because of whatever control he weilded. He was the one rejecting and hiding. Jack obviously was  always more accepting of his sexuality. From all appearences together, to Jack ,Ennis should be able to show his love the same way naturally, but Ennis had a few problems with his orientations. He'd be forced to make a choice. Jack's way or no way. What would  he choose to do? If Jack was to  cut the short leash and  take full advantage of the control ( really, the sheer power of unconditional love) he had over Ennis, to be with him  the way he wanted  him to be, or without him period, he would be putting Ennis's love for him to the test. Jack had his own fears too.

Could Jack or Ennis ever love this way again?,  find their roles with someone else, knowing one or the other was still out there somewhere? Could either quit completly? From what I see in the film , no. It took death to keep these two apart, and even then their love was reborn thru the shirts.  Jack again, preserving their love.

What ever understanding or mis-understandings they had. about each other , in the end , the  depth of their love  remained untouched . Just some ramblings...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 22, 2008, 05:49 AM
Certainly Ennis had some control in the relationship as you say, timing the meetings, where, and when etc...but he  was walking that fine line between what he needed in his life and what Jack COULD withold if he so desired.  He was obviously living on the faith of Jack's love for him especially after the scene by the steam where Ennis admits "there's no reins on this one". Jack accepted the conditions at first, but grew increasingly tired of the pretense, but for Ennis, without Jack he could'nt be who he needed to be. could'nt be who he really was ,which had nothing to do with roles or rules in those moments in his life..

If Jack was to become so frustrated and not show up, where would that leave Ennis? It would'nt matter to Ennis who laid down the law. he would have been stripped of all control and power. He'd only know one thing, Jack was missing from his life because of whatever control he weilded. He was the one rejecting and hiding. Jack obviously was  always more accepting of his sexuality. From all appearences together, to Jack ,Ennis should be able to show his love the same way naturally, but Ennis had a few problems with his orientations. He'd be forced to make a choice. Jack's way or no way. What would  he choose to do? If Jack was to  cut the short leash and  take full advantage of the control ( really, the sheer power of unconditional love) he had over Ennis, to be with him  the way he wanted  him to be, or without him period, he would be putting Ennis's love for him to the test. Jack had his own fears too.

Could Jack or Ennis ever love this way again?,  find their roles with someone else, knowing one or the other was still out there somewhere? Could either quit completly? From what I see in the film , no. It took death to keep these two apart, and even then their love was reborn thru the shirts.  Jack again, preserving their love.

What ever understanding or mis-understandings they had. about each other , in the end , the  depth of their love  remained untouched . Just some ramblings...

I quote everything but the last 3 words which in my mind are completely wrong.

Your post was the silhoutte of this story's heart, and it's still pumping in me as I type.

Needless to say, I agree with this. Thanks for putting it out like that, very very nice!  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 22, 2008, 07:06 AM
I do agree that for the most part, Ennis was largely passive or "reactionary" as AF has said.  His control over Jack was pretty much a passive control -- more about what he would not do or do in reaction to a proposal or opening introduced by Jack.  It is interesting that it mirrors certain strategies played out by weaker forces against a stronger force: yield or not yield if only to draw the other camp deeper in...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 22, 2008, 03:48 PM
Exactly tpe and OT, he was fragile in his control. could break at any givin moment where Jack was concerned. Only on the surface did he appear to have control over Jack in the relationship . He knew Jack was holding back due to his own fear and one might say Ennis selfishly played on that, but in reality the power really to make or break him imo lie with Jack.

 He just was'nt conciously aware of it. Ennis loved him, he was Ennis's world. Jack had Ennis that way as Ennis had to admit when he said " it's cause a you, I'm like this". Whatever he had done it was because of his need for Jack.  He may have been "nuthin or nowhere" , but he still had Jack. Jack had only unconditional love for him, but Ennis tried to control it, shape it, mold it, to some specification so he was able to deal with it in his conflicted mind instead of just letting it be.  Why mess with perfection? Fear.

Jack saw it as a natural thing that was evolving. Nature taking it's course. Ennis was doing everything he could to prove the love wrong, yet he was doing everything with Jack to prove it right. He showed for the trips, had sexual relations with Jack on those trips, made deals with current bosses , all so he could be there for Jack. sending Jack *mixed signals* . Did'nt make sense, so he assumes Ennis just "did'nt want it", or was playing a serious game with his emotions.  Maybe so, but imo Ennis may not have wanted it but he NEEDED it more than words could say.
 His actions did'nt jive with his words or his conflict. No wonder Jack got angry.

 Deep down inside though eventually I feel Jack did know what the problem was, the source of his frustration was knowing Ennis loved him as much as he loved Ennis, but could'nt get Ennis to the point where he could love him without fear or conditions. There was only so much he could do, this part Ennis had to fix himself. Could'nt force Ennis to feel something he could'nt feel, but it was was a fear Jack had that if  he abandoned Ennis to work it out on his own, he'd loose him forever.

 Had jack gotten over his own fear, back off and let Ennis come to him  in complete surrender, things may have turned out differently. Imo Ennis was'nt going anywhere , anyplace that did'nt involve Jack but Jack , though in his frustration thinking about quitting Ennis, he felt he  could'nt afford to take that chance. Maybe I'm wrong but. things were as they were,... He needed him just that much. MO.Thanx
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 22, 2008, 04:39 PM
Love your two posts AF. Totally agree. You really understood our boys....  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 22, 2008, 05:47 PM

...

 Deep down inside though eventually I feel Jack did know what the problem was, the source of his frustration was knowing Ennis loved him as much as he loved Ennis, but could'nt get Ennis to the point where he could love him without fear or conditions. There was only so much he could do, this part Ennis had to fix himself. Could'nt force Ennis to feel something he could'nt feel, but it was was a fear Jack had that if  he abandoned Ennis to work it out on his own, he'd loose him forever.

 Had jack gotten over his own fear, back off and let Ennis come to him  in complete surrender, things may have turned out differently. Imo Ennis was'nt going anywhere , anyplace that did'nt involve Jack but Jack , though in his frustration thinking about quitting Ennis, he felt he  could'nt afford to take that chance. Maybe I'm wrong but. things were as they were,... He needed him just that much. MO.Thanx

I am totally with you here. This reminds me of course of the last campfire scene when they're older. How I see it, everything Jack was saying or getting at there was the result of knowing this equation of love and needing it stimulated. Been there, done that personally. My chest was on fire during this scene and my tears were hot. It was so damn familiar.

Oh yes, he did
And I agree about Ennis in this regard. He needed Jack just this much, but with a heart nailed back in 2x4's it would take someone like Jack to burn through to him. Until then, Ennis is close to content with showing everyone an abandoned house. In his heart was the mirror to Jack's, but unfortunately Earl set a magnet upstairs, and while finding love has obviously affected Ennis, it had become more an immediate cerebral manifestation.. at least as far as the slavery to the outside world goes.

2 prisoners of love, one brashly pinned down by the past and the other needing out. The question is whether, when/if the other (Ennis) breaks out, the free one will make it out there waiting. I can understand the fear in both men, and your posts have furthered the insight to this.

 :c)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 23, 2008, 07:17 AM
Thanks AF, Tammy, and OT.

I do agree that Jack probably understood how much Ennis loved him, in his own tortured way.  Jack's dilemma was certainly maintaining confidence and trust that this love could be actively used to make Ennis see things in a different way.  Although seemingly active in many ways, it was in this crucial point that Jack played it too passively.  We are thus faced by passive resistance and equally passive determination.   It is in this way that I understand them to be prisoners of that love: a confusion/mismatch in their roles that brought them to a stalemate.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 23, 2008, 04:08 PM
Thanks AF, Tammy, and OT.

I do agree that Jack probably understood how much Ennis loved him, in his own tortured way.  Jack's dilemma was certainly maintaining confidence and trust that this love could be actively used to make Ennis see things in a different way.  Although seemingly active in many ways, it was in this crucial point that Jack played it too passively.  We are thus faced by passive resistance and equally passive determination.   It is in this way that I understand them to be prisoners of that love: a confusion/mismatch in their roles that brought them to a stalemate.



 Excellent post tpe , you are so correct! I feel he was so caught up in his love for Ennis that he could'nt see the forest for the trees. The big picture that required a more determined , focused attempt at getting Ennis to let go. A firmer hand. Again imo he really had the upper hand over Ennis. Just did'nt realized how to play that hand without scaring Ennis away. Ennis may have had his own *low startle point*, but like a skittish horse, Jack needed to use a firmer hand . Ennis was more than half way there. If anyone could have closed this deal , it was Jack. He held the key obviously. 2 cents more.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 24, 2008, 07:23 AM
Thanks AF.  I really think your calling to mind Proulx's symbolism behind the Jack Twist name is so apt in this discussion of roles.  In many ways, Jack was really the "rider" here -- the rider in the relationship.    In many ways, he certainly was in control, but he allowed passivity to get the better of him and lose this advantage. 

Did he last the 8 seconds, symbolically speaking? 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 24, 2008, 08:24 AM
Well it's so easy for us to think that Jack had any control in this relationship, but believe me, I've been there. Imo, he never thought he had any control. He was just hanging onto Ennis with all his might. He pushed here and there, and backed off when he feared Ennis would get skittish and bolt.

I think tpe's question about him lasting the 8 seconds is perfect, because my answer would be yes. He lasted the full 8 seconds because he rode it as long as he was alive. And just like with a bull, you know that you can never actually control the animal - you just hope that you can hold on and not get thrown.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 24, 2008, 12:04 PM
Fantastic all these last postsˇ  :clap: I really believe Jack was in control of the relationship in a more physical way-doubtless for me...-; but in an emotional,psychological and/or sentimental side,he took the control that Ennis and his reactions "allowed" him to have.And,on the other hand,for me is also clear that Jack-as Aintfoolin says-held the key of the relationship and his continuity; if it lasted so many years,it's because Jack knew more or less well how to cope with the situation,forcing Ennis to a point and relaxing "the leash" when his lover could feel himself too anguished and overwhelmed.Sometimes to be able to get something more from him,sometimes for not scaring him...In this sense,as in so many others,they were complementaries,although never completely.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 24, 2008, 04:23 PM
Well it's so easy for us to think that Jack had any control in this relationship, but believe me, I've been there. Imo, he never thought he had any control. He was just hanging onto Ennis with all his might. He pushed here and there, and backed off when he feared Ennis would get skittish and bolt.
I think tpe's question about him lasting the 8 seconds is perfect, because my answer would be yes. He lasted the full 8 seconds because he rode it as long as he was alive. And just like with a bull, you know that you can never actually control the animal - you just hope that you can hold on and not get thrown.

Beautiful Barb, I love it.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 24, 2008, 04:28 PM
Fantastic all these last postsˇ  :clap: I really believe Jack was in control of the relationship in a more physical way-doubtless for me...-; but in an emotional,psychological and/or sentimental side,he took the control that Ennis and his reactions "allowed" him to have.And,on the other hand,for me is also clear that Jack-as Aintfoolin says-held the key of the relationship and his continuity; if it lasted so many years,it's because Jack knew more or less well how to cope with the situation,forcing Ennis to a point and relaxing "the leash" when his lover could feel himself too anguished and overwhelmed.Sometimes to be able to get something more from him,sometimes for not scaring him...In this sense,as in so many others,they were complementaries,although never completely.

I love this line.  Its so true. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 24, 2008, 04:38 PM
I love this line.  Its so true. 

 :t) MGˇ I really think it's how Jack felt and acted so,so,so many times in order to please Ennis and try to please himself getting closer to his dreams accomplishment.But,tell me...don't you love all the post,huh?  ^-^   ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 25, 2008, 07:23 AM
Well it's so easy for us to think that Jack had any control in this relationship, but believe me, I've been there. Imo, he never thought he had any control. He was just hanging onto Ennis with all his might. He pushed here and there, and backed off when he feared Ennis would get skittish and bolt.

I think tpe's question about him lasting the 8 seconds is perfect, because my answer would be yes. He lasted the full 8 seconds because he rode it as long as he was alive. And just like with a bull, you know that you can never actually control the animal - you just hope that you can hold on and not get thrown.

I agree fully that it probably never crossed his mind that he was ever in control.  He could have been in control, but it never really crossed his mind to be in such a position, IMO.


"For how long?"

"For as long as we can ride it...  There are no reins on this one..."


He really took this to heart.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 25, 2008, 07:28 AM
Fantastic all these last postsˇ  :clap: I really believe Jack was in control of the relationship in a more physical way-doubtless for me...-; but in an emotional,psychological and/or sentimental side,he took the control that Ennis and his reactions "allowed" him to have.And,on the other hand,for me is also clear that Jack-as Aintfoolin says-held the key of the relationship and his continuity; if it lasted so many years,it's because Jack knew more or less well how to cope with the situation,forcing Ennis to a point and relaxing "the leash" when his lover could feel himself too anguished and overwhelmed.Sometimes to be able to get something more from him,sometimes for not scaring him...In this sense,as in so many others,they were complementaries,although never completely.

I can see your point.  Certainly, from the point of view of Ennis, Jack had all the things that gave him greater flexibility and more options.  Did Ennis scretly resent this, I wonder?  Perhaps he thought that Jack was more in control of his own destiny, not realizing that he {Ennis) held the missing piece for Jack's fulfillment.  I sense a bit of irony in all this...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 25, 2008, 10:49 AM
Thanks AF.  I really think your calling to mind Proulx's symbolism behind the Jack Twist name is so apt in this discussion of roles.  In many ways, Jack was really the "rider" here -- the rider in the relationship.    In many ways, he certainly was in control, but he allowed passivity to get the better of him and lose this advantage. 

Did he last the 8 seconds, symbolically speaking? 

I agree, but did he last the whole 8 seconds? I'd say he did.

 His times with Ennis can only be measured in moments. He hung onto the bull as Flower Child said and rode it out for 20 years. Once or twice a year was all he could get. He took it. Was a tough ride , at times hanging on some times on a wing and a prayer. .. It was the love he had for Ennis that sustained him

 Ennis is totally complicated, has his own way of figuring things. All his life Jack had known rejection, and even humiliation., now he's got bigger problems. He finds love, but the man he loves, finds a rejection and a humiliaton for who he is.  The very part of his lover he so desperatly needs.

 Jack was a winner. having  his love for Ennis  tested and was definitly not found lacking. It was proven  tried and true. When everything else in his life seemed out of control, it was the love and need for Ennis, It was  the one  sure thing he knew he had . It gave him hope against all hope  to keep trying. Ennis had no need to test Jack's love  or control for/over him.  Ennis's love and need for Jack WAS Jack's control. 8 seconds, such a short period of time to stay on a raging bull, but it can seem like eons. I think he won the the ride, but after 20 years still could'nt claim the prize.Thanx.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 25, 2008, 11:22 AM
OMG aintfoolin, that was beautiful, imo heartbreakingly accurate, and absolutely made me cry. :\'(  <^(

Thank you for such an insightful description. :^^)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 25, 2008, 12:07 PM
Thanks FlowrChild , Everytime I watch the film, I am so touched by Jack's human virtues. A true survivor.  %) %)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 25, 2008, 12:35 PM
 %) too.


You know, I think both these men have so much more going on with them than casual viewers tend to see. I think if you watch the film with not just an open mind, but an open heart, you have the chance to see so much more in them.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Apr 25, 2008, 01:20 PM
%) too.


You know, I think both these men have so much more going on with them than casual viewers tend to see. I think if you watch the film with not just an open mind, but an open heart, you have the chance to see so much more in them.

I agree, what we see in alot of cases is...ourselves. They took us on a journey, along the way, I felt every emotion I have. Jack and Ennis grabbed our hearts and to this day they still won't let go. They taught us that love sometimes hurts deep once it finds you , but that same love can bring a restoration of hope and happiness of a lifetime as long as we remember how we came to know it.Whatever the basis of Jack's love for Ennis was , he must have felt Ennis was worth waiting for.

 Though in the end he did'nt achieve fully what he sought to achieve , but I don't think he would have traded one moment of their time together for the world.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 25, 2008, 02:11 PM
I don't think he would either.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 25, 2008, 02:20 PM
I agree, but did he last the whole 8 seconds? I'd say he did.

 His times with Ennis can only be measured in moments. He hung onto the bull as Flower Child said and rode it out for 20 years. Once or twice a year was all he could get. He took it. Was a tough ride , at times hanging on some times on a wing and a prayer. .. It was the love he had for Ennis that sustained him

 Ennis is totally complicated, has his own way of figuring things. All his life Jack had known rejection, and even humiliation., now he's got bigger problems. He finds love, but the man he loves, finds a rejection and a humiliaton for who he is.  The very part of his lover he so desperatly needs.

 Jack was a winner. having  his love for Ennis  tested and was definitly not found lacking. It was proven  tried and true. When everything else in his life seemed out of control, it was the love and need for Ennis, It was  the one  sure thing he knew he had . It gave him hope against all hope  to keep trying. Ennis had no need to test Jack's love  or control for/over him.  Ennis's love and need for Jack WAS Jack's control. 8 seconds, such a short period of time to stay on a raging bull, but it can seem like eons. I think he won the the ride, but after 20 years still could'nt claim the prize.Thanx.

Utterly beautiful as always, AF!!  ^f^ You really know how to touch a heart.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: bearhugman on Apr 25, 2008, 07:17 PM
Well it's so easy for us to think that Jack had any control in this relationship, but believe me, I've been there. Imo, he never thought he had any control. He was just hanging onto Ennis with all his might. He pushed here and there, and backed off when he feared Ennis would get skittish and bolt.

I think tpe's question about him lasting the 8 seconds is perfect, because my answer would be yes. He lasted the full 8 seconds because he rode it as long as he was alive. And just like with a bull, you know that you can never actually control the animal - you just hope that you can hold on and not get thrown.
Just want to thrown in my two cents, and it may have been discussed elsewhere.
It seems to me that the more times I watch their first time on bb the more control of the situation Jack appears to have. He knows what he wants and he seems to know how to get it. But contrast that with his life after, from myself having hope in him, in his 'truthfullness' regarding his love for Ennis and maybe his sense of what is 'right' (for him), to dispare that, once he left Bb he like Ennis becomes just as much a product of their times and place. Jack does not appear to relearn/reawaken his (truthfullness to self ) over the coming years. Entering the eighties could have seen him live his life openly (as gay) in other cities and to be honest he may have been heading that way after 'the last' meeting'.
I perfer to have hope for Ennis as well,  a good example of the road travelled by some in Ennis's situation is a story  by Adam Sutton called 'Say It Out Load' This man over came the harshest internalised homophobia to become true to his sexuallity/self.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 25, 2008, 07:57 PM
I agree fully that it probably never crossed his mind that he was ever in control.  He could have been in control, but it never really crossed his mind to be in such a position, IMO.


"For how long?"

"For as long as we can ride it...  There are no reins on this one..."


He really took this to heart.



I always loved this.

I still find a link back to when they're sorting sheep and Ennis says to Jack: We gotta stick this one out Jack..

For how long

For as long as we can ride it

Ain't no reins on this one.


When they were sorting all the mixed up sheep after slacking off out there falling in love, metaphorically there were no reins. I think, despite how (un)aware Ennis was of his sexuality or attraction towards Jack, he could have been saying this from the moment they shook hands or sooner. Out on a limb, I also like to consider that Jack, from the moment he met Ennis, understood a possible true love was in this other man, and it would be a journey ahead towards the connection he'd make with Ennis. The verbalization and the signs of this force of nature were just trickling down a little Old Rose stream into an oasis of their love. And anytime spent outside of bathing each other here, was the time to dry and crumble and fall apart; in final confrontation, when Jack 'broke the rules' and wanted to bathe outside of that sparce oasis, Ennis indeed crumbled and fell to the ground and held by Jack, he had to confront the love between them. He had to, for the first time, mesh his fear and his love together and know that one does beat the other; fear is only the absense of love.
Later when this sinks through his stoic shell, he pursues jack via postcards, etc. But of course we know where that went. He with the shirts falls apart inside. Now he understands that what he feels naturally inside is as painful, heartbreakingly beautiful, real and more imporant than the paperbag he had carried along the way to an odd-job up on a mountain. What you feel is who you are and who you are is beautiful. I get that sentiment from him when he's in the trailer, adjacent Alma Jr., looking out the window quietly talking to himself, this self that processes the lost love before it does the immediate and practical.
Oh yes he has changed immensely.
Up on Brokeback, SNIT, I believe any thing ("roles" if we must) was open, very open. When you're bathing your lover, you want to clean them all the f*** over.)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 26, 2008, 06:24 AM
amazing post justin :), i loved some of your metaphors like the oasis and abthing that was such a great post :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 26, 2008, 06:30 AM
amazing post justin :), i loved some of your metaphors like the oasis and abthing that was such a great post :)

Thanks. There's a darkness and depth and slight spot of light in Ennis' eyes at the end in the trailer, isn't there?
Reminds me of 2 oasis in a dark dark desert with a tiny reflection of the moon in them.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 26, 2008, 07:18 AM
Ennis, as it was stated earlier was pretty complicated guy.  Trying to live his life, appearing conventional, loving Jack on the "down low", and thinking this all he could expect.  No matter Ennis's "low startle" point, not one time did he ever stop answering Jack's call to him.  Alma or Cassie couldn't quiet the need he had that was only Jack's.  Ennis actively defends Jack against Alma, the truth known he never stops seeing Jack.   He sacrificed that one good paying job, so he could at any moment be with him, and didn't understand why Jack turns on him.

Ennis handles things his own way indeed.  The "Earl and Rich" world, society,  was what he try to protect both of them from.   But Jack himself,  his commitment, his love, his body, was one thing that Ennis had a fear and great need for, but doubted that Jack had the same need for him.  He could kill Jack if ever found out that Jack would give himself to anyone else, or even think of leaving him.  But what could he do really?  No matter how hard Jack tried, or could have tried, talk to him, pushed him, stood on his head and whistle "Dixie", that wouldn't have been enough.  For Ennis the only way for him to understand that they were OK, was something he had to discover for himself, and understand for himself.

For Ennis it was "Will you leave me too?"  so many in his life left him already.

Just a thought.

  

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 26, 2008, 07:38 AM
great post MG parts of that really tugged on my heart strings
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 28, 2008, 08:11 AM
I agree, but did he last the whole 8 seconds? I'd say he did.

 His times with Ennis can only be measured in moments. He hung onto the bull as Flower Child said and rode it out for 20 years. Once or twice a year was all he could get. He took it. Was a tough ride , at times hanging on some times on a wing and a prayer. .. It was the love he had for Ennis that sustained him

 Ennis is totally complicated, has his own way of figuring things. All his life Jack had known rejection, and even humiliation., now he's got bigger problems. He finds love, but the man he loves, finds a rejection and a humiliaton for who he is.  The very part of his lover he so desperatly needs.

 Jack was a winner. having  his love for Ennis  tested and was definitly not found lacking. It was proven  tried and true. When everything else in his life seemed out of control, it was the love and need for Ennis, It was  the one  sure thing he knew he had . It gave him hope against all hope  to keep trying. Ennis had no need to test Jack's love  or control for/over him.  Ennis's love and need for Jack WAS Jack's control. 8 seconds, such a short period of time to stay on a raging bull, but it can seem like eons. I think he won the the ride, but after 20 years still could'nt claim the prize.Thanx.

OMG aintfoolin, that was beautiful, imo heartbreakingly accurate, and absolutely made me cry. :\'(  <^(

Thank you for such an insightful description. :^^)

I echo FlwrChild's thanks here, AF.  Very beautiful.  Yes, one can be a winner even as one falls in battle.  The fact that Jack's death did bring about a transformation in Ennis made all the difference.



Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 28, 2008, 08:17 AM
I always loved this.

I still find a link back to when they're sorting sheep and Ennis says to Jack: We gotta stick this one out Jack..

For how long

For as long as we can ride it

Ain't no reins on this one.


When they were sorting all the mixed up sheep after slacking off out there falling in love, metaphorically there were no reins. I think, despite how (un)aware Ennis was of his sexuality or attraction towards Jack, he could have been saying this from the moment they shook hands or sooner. Out on a limb, I also like to consider that Jack, from the moment he met Ennis, understood a possible true love was in this other man, and it would be a journey ahead towards the connection he'd make with Ennis. The verbalization and the signs of this force of nature were just trickling down a little Old Rose stream into an oasis of their love. And anytime spent outside of bathing each other here, was the time to dry and crumble and fall apart; in final confrontation, when Jack 'broke the rules' and wanted to bathe outside of that sparce oasis, Ennis indeed crumbled and fell to the ground and held by Jack, he had to confront the love between them. He had to, for the first time, mesh his fear and his love together and know that one does beat the other; fear is only the absense of love.
Later when this sinks through his stoic shell, he pursues jack via postcards, etc. But of course we know where that went. He with the shirts falls apart inside. Now he understands that what he feels naturally inside is as painful, heartbreakingly beautiful, real and more imporant than the paperbag he had carried along the way to an odd-job up on a mountain. What you feel is who you are and who you are is beautiful. I get that sentiment from him when he's in the trailer, adjacent Alma Jr., looking out the window quietly talking to himself, this self that processes the lost love before it does the immediate and practical.
Oh yes he has changed immensely.
Up on Brokeback, SNIT, I believe any thing ("roles" if we must) was open, very open. When you're bathing your lover, you want to clean them all the f*** over.)

amazing post justin :), i loved some of your metaphors like the oasis and abthing that was such a great post :)

I find it a most wonderful irony that it is a manifestation of a passive, hidden love (i.e., the shirts in jack's closet) that finally gets to Ennis.  Passivity can be powerful, especially when it is like grass bending before the strong wind.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 28, 2008, 08:20 AM
Ennis, as it was stated earlier was pretty complicated guy.  Trying to live his life, appearing conventional, loving Jack on the "down low", and thinking this all he could expect.  No matter Ennis's "low startle" point, not one time did he ever stop answering Jack's call to him.  Alma or Cassie couldn't quiet the need he had that was only Jack's.  Ennis actively defends Jack against Alma, the truth known he never stops seeing Jack.   He sacrificed that one good paying job, so he could at any moment be with him, and didn't understand why Jack turns on him.

Ennis handles things his own way indeed.  The "Earl and Rich" world, society,  was what he try to protect both of them from.   But Jack himself,  his commitment, his love, his body, was one thing that Ennis had a fear and great need for, but doubted that Jack had the same need for him.  He could kill Jack if ever found out that Jack would give himself to anyone else, or even think of leaving him.  But what could he do really?  No matter how hard Jack tried, or could have tried, talk to him, pushed him, stood on his head and whistle "Dixie", that wouldn't have been enough.  For Ennis the only way for him to understand that they were OK, was something he had to discover for himself, and understand for himself.

For Ennis it was "Will you leave me too?"  so many in his life left him already.

Just a thought.

I think Ennis perhaps never understood whay Jack loved him so.  Perhaps his passivity is but a manifestation of a strong insecurity: that he could not believe that Jack's love for him was REAL.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Apr 28, 2008, 10:30 AM
I think Ennis perhaps never understood whay Jack loved him so.  Perhaps his passivity is but a manifestation of a strong insecurity: that he could not believe that Jack's love for him was REAL.



i think you could be onto something here.

(side note: you know tpe its amazing how much you can say in just a few words. :))
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 28, 2008, 01:30 PM
I find it a most wonderful irony that it is a manifestation of a passive, hidden love (i.e., the shirts in jack's closet) that finally gets to Ennis.  Passivity can be powerful, especially when it is like grass bending before the strong wind.


Beautiful, tpe. The whole thing. ^f^ And this as well:


"Yes, one can be a winner even as one falls in battle.  The fact that Jack's death did bring about a transformation in Ennis made all the difference."


It really does, I think. Otherwise, the story would truly be a tragedy in every way. But instead it can give us hope, and I believe it allows Jack to rest happy, knowing that Ennis finally experienced and understood that.



Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 28, 2008, 04:20 PM

It really does, I think. Otherwise, the story would truly be a tragedy in every way. But instead it can give us hope, and I believe it allows Jack to rest happy, knowing that Ennis finally experienced and understood that.

I find it a most wonderful irony that it is a manifestation of a passive, hidden love (i.e., the shirts in jack's closet) that finally gets to Ennis.  Passivity can be powerful, especially when it is like grass bending before the strong wind.


I echo FlwrChild's thanks here, AF.  Very beautiful.  Yes, one can be a winner even as one falls in battle.  The fact that Jack's death did bring about a transformation in Ennis made all the difference.

Thomas and Barb, this is so true and damn beautiful. Thank you.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 28, 2008, 09:41 PM
I think Ennis perhaps never understood whay Jack loved him so.  Perhaps his passivity is but a manifestation of a strong insecurity: that he could not believe that Jack's love for him was REAL.

Not so much why Jack loved him, but that he was loved at all. Was it OK to have feelings of love? The one word that was never uttered.  Didn't the shirts prove to Ennis that it was?    He was loved.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Apr 28, 2008, 10:09 PM



It really does, I think. Otherwise, the story would truly be a tragedy in every way. But instead it can give us hope, and I believe it allows Jack to rest happy, knowing that Ennis finally experienced and understood that.





I love this.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 29, 2008, 07:52 AM
Thanks friends.

It really does, I think. Otherwise, the story would truly be a tragedy in every way. But instead it can give us hope, and I believe it allows Jack to rest happy, knowing that Ennis finally experienced and understood that.

Jack would have been very surprised that for all his attempts at getting Ennis to budge, it is that very thing he keeps hidden that finally gets to Ennis.  Why didn't Jack tell Ennis about the shirts?  My suspicion is that it revealed too much, made Jack feel too vulnerable.  Yes, he would have been happy also to see that this passive manifestation of his love -- secreted for years -- succeeded when his more direct attempts failed.

Not so much why Jack loved him, but that he was loved at all. Was it OK to have feelings of love? The one word that was never uttered.  Didn't the shirts prove to Ennis that it was?    He was loved.   

Yes, I think it is significant that the word is never uttered in direct connection with Jack. 

Perhaps Ennis never thought that his feelings (as well as Jack's) couldn't possibly be true love.  Perhaps he never really understood until the end what deep love was all about?  Or are we wrong in that he perhaps passively assumed it as a matter of fact?

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Apr 30, 2008, 05:32 AM
[quote author=tpe link=topic=13155.msg751613#msg751613 date=

Perhaps Ennis never thought that his feelings (as well as Jack's) couldn't possibly be true love.  Perhaps he never really understood until the end what deep love was all about?  Or are we wrong in that he perhaps passively assumed it as a matter of fact?

[/quote]

His question to Alma, Jr. shows us that the word love, the feeling of love, was becoming more of reality to him after Jack's death.   I think part of his torture was dealing with that feeling he had for Jack  was love, this is man who had a hard time dealing with his sexual need for him, let alone with the idea that all he feels for Jack was in the end,  love, and he was loved in return. It all was so risky for him, this man who was controlled, guarded, reserve.  This man who loved someone who could make lose all of that control, feared whether he was loved at all. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 30, 2008, 05:46 AM
His question to Alma, Jr. shows us that the word love, the feeling of love, was becoming more of reality to him after Jack's death.   I think part of his torture was dealing with that feeling he had for Jack  was love, this is man who had a hard time dealing with his sexual need for him, let alone with the idea that all he feels for Jack was in the end,  love, and he was loved in return. It all was so risky for him, this man who was controlled, guarded, reserve.  This man who loved someone who could make lose all of that control, feared whether he was loved at all. 

I agree with you,MG,in that Ennis problems come from the possibility that what he felt for Jack was love.His denials not only were about sharing his life with another man,but also about the feeling itself for this man.To wish sharing your life with someone you must be sure that you love that person; and that's what Ennis denied to himself all his life,denying his own feelings and wishes,disguising them with the name of "friend"-that in this case gets all its meaning in all senses-.These denials became fear and this fear ruled all his actions,feelings and thoughts: fear of loving and being loved,fear of the commitment,fear of society,fear of himself,and above all,one of his contradictions,fear of LOOSING but also fear of HAVING this man,the root of all his problems at the end...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 30, 2008, 08:01 AM
I completely agree with you guys on that. And I do believe that it was the shock of Jack's death that allowed him to see what he'd lost. It was enough to give him the strength to call Lureen, and then to go to Lightning Flat, which took so much courage on his part considering the man he was and the things he'd struggled with for so long.

Then finding the shirts showed him how much Jack loved him, had always loved him, and that what they had was indeed love, no matter what he'd been telling himself all those years.

The Ennis who walks into that kitchen with those shirts, fully intent on taking them with him, and the Ennis who says "Jack, I swear" is not the same Ennis who'd been fighting his own demons, along with society's, all that time. This Ennis knew and acknowledged that what he felt for Jack was love, and had the gift of knowing that Jack loved him, to help temper the loss and the regrets for what might have been.


I've been so moved by your posts. Thank you for sharing. ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Apr 30, 2008, 08:48 AM
I sometimes think that in the end, love also became something very unreal with Ennis -- the stuff of dreams, I guess.  In this case, the sexual dreams with Jack had become a substitute for the reality.  It is as if dreams became a sort of reality for him.  Would you agree?

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Apr 30, 2008, 09:33 AM
Oh absolutely tpe.


From the short story:

"....He might have to stay with his married daughter until he picks up another job, yet he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream............lets a panel of the dream slide forward. If he does not force his attention on it, it might stoke the day, rewarm that old, cold time on the mountain when they owned the world and nothing seemed wrong."

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Apr 30, 2008, 11:34 AM
I sometimes think that in the end, love also became something very unreal with Ennis -- the stuff of dreams, I guess.  In this case, the sexual dreams with Jack had become a substitute for the reality.  It is as if dreams became a sort of reality for him.  Would you agree?

I completely agree,Thomas: when you have nothing in real life,you're used to live of dreams for the present and future and of memories for the past.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Apr 30, 2008, 04:46 PM
I completely agree with you guys on that. And I do believe that it was the shock of Jack's death that allowed him to see what he'd lost. It was enough to give him the strength to call Lureen, and then to go to Lightning Flat, which took so much courage on his part considering the man he was and the things he'd struggled with for so long.

Then finding the shirts showed him how much Jack loved him, had always loved him, and that what they had was indeed love, no matter what he'd been telling himself all those years.

The Ennis who walks into that kitchen with those shirts, fully intent on taking them with him, and the Ennis who says "Jack, I swear" is not the same Ennis who'd been fighting his own demons, along with society's, all that time. This Ennis knew and acknowledged that what he felt for Jack was love, and had the gift of knowing that Jack loved him, to help temper the loss and the regrets for what might have been.


I've been so moved by your posts. Thank you for sharing. ^f^

Beautiful and touching. I feel like crying.

I sometimes think that in the end, love also became something very unreal with Ennis -- the stuff of dreams, I guess.  In this case, the sexual dreams with Jack had become a substitute for the reality.  It is as if dreams became a sort of reality for him.  Would you agree?


That's right about Ennis, Thomas. And OT, I especially relate to those words.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 01, 2008, 06:14 AM
I sometimes think that in the end, love also became something very unreal with Ennis -- the stuff of dreams, I guess.  In this case, the sexual dreams with Jack had become a substitute for the reality.  It is as if dreams became a sort of reality for him.  Would you agree?



Wouldn't you say AP put at the of ss exactly at what all you been saying, the dreams of Jack, the can of beans with spoon handle jutting out of it, that turned into tire irons.  His sheet wet, some times his pillow, the feeling of joy, the feeling of grief.   And the open space between what he knew, and what he tried to believe.

His love for Jack, his need sexually for Jack, and the ever present fear of tire irons.   All will be with him.   Do any of think he's even able to find that resolution, do you think he was even meant to find peace?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 01, 2008, 08:01 AM
Oh absolutely tpe.


From the short story:

"....He might have to stay with his married daughter until he picks up another job, yet he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream............lets a panel of the dream slide forward. If he does not force his attention on it, it might stoke the day, rewarm that old, cold time on the mountain when they owned the world and nothing seemed wrong."



The opening.  :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 01, 2008, 08:03 AM
Beautiful and touching. I feel like crying.

That's right about Ennis, Thomas. And OT, I especially relate to those words.



I think in many ways, each of us sometimes live in our dreams, and sometimes, we dream through life.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 01, 2008, 08:05 AM
Wouldn't you say AP put at the of ss exactly at what all you been saying, the dreams of Jack, the can of beans with spoon handle jutting out of it, that turned into tire irons.  His sheet wet, some times his pillow, the feeling of joy, the feeling of grief.   And the open space between what he knew, and what he tried to believe.

His love for Jack, his need sexually for Jack, and the ever present fear of tire irons.   All will be with him.   Do any of think he's even able to find that resolution, do you think he was even meant to find peace?

The dreams become a marriage of fear and love, don't you think?  And yes, I do think the dreams as described are very sexually charged.  The spoon and tire-iron are very phallic, IMO. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 02, 2008, 04:33 PM
I feel his dreams of Jack reflected his thoughts. I think it shows he thought of Jack often after his death. I can see him going to sleep hoping to have dreams of him. Maybe he found a profound sad peace within it over time. Also for him a way to keep Jack with him forever. Within his dreams of Jack, he can feel him again, that is the joy for him, but when he awakes it's back to hoping and thinking about him. There had to be so many things in his everyday life that took his mind back to Jack often. Various interactions with friends and loved ones , the mountain setting in the background  postcards and everytime he opened that closet. Reminders that Jack had been there. It all helps to shadow the regrets and no doubt , guilt he carried with him. For him, Jack was so close and yet so far everyday of his life. Perhaps whenever he wanted to feel close to Jack, he'd look to the mountain , or the shirts and find peace in them. In his  daydreams Jack's love once again lives. Jack's gift to him, the lessons of  a love and friendship so strong  that even death can't hold it.

 Wether he ever found true peace or not, that's what I'd  call ,a love everlasting.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 02, 2008, 04:47 PM
I feel his dreams of Jack reflected his thoughts. I think it shows he thought of Jack often after his death. I can see him going to sleep hoping to have dreams of him. Maybe he found a profound sad peace within it over time. Also for him a way to keep Jack with him forever. Within his dreams of Jack, he can feel him again, that is the joy for him, but when he awakes it's back to hoping and thinking about him. There had to be so many things in his everyday life that took his mind back to Jack often. Various interactions with friends and loved ones , the mountain setting in the background  postcards and everytime he opened that closet. Reminders that Jack had been there. It all helps to shadow the regrets and no doubt , guilt he carried with him. For him, Jack was so close and yet so far everyday of his life. Perhaps whenever he wanted to feel close to Jack, he'd look to the mountain , or the shirts and find peace in them. In his  daydreams Jack's love once again lives. Jack's gift to him, the lessons of  a love and friendship so strong  that even death can't hold it.

 Wether he ever found true peace or not, that's what I'd  call ,a love everlasting.


OMG AF!! You did it again. I quote your whole heartbreaking so beautiful post!! I'm moved to tears here.  :\'( :\'( :\'( I don't why but just in this moment you touched my heart so deeply with that image of Ennis and his dreams. Damn.  :\'( :\'( :\'( If I could say to you what I'm feeling in this very moment...... :\'( :\'(
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Tony on May 02, 2008, 06:15 PM
    Baby Tammy, Aintfoolin is on a roll.  On another thread, she just called the relationship between Jack and Ennis "a marriage of the heart".  And I just saw your post on the photo thread.  You guys are gonna do me in, so am outta here.  They loved, we loved....and it's a whole lotta hurtin'.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 02, 2008, 09:02 PM
Aww, thanx BT and Tony,. Their story is a sad  :\'(one that can bring so many tears, but there were also moments  of overwelming joy in their story. Moments that also brought tears to my eyes for them. For instance the now infamous reunion scene where hope and joy ruled.
 Neither one really knew what to expect. Jack, driving all the way from Texas on a wing and a prayer that Ennis will recieve him as he hoped he would, but never in his wildest dreams did he think his stoic, now married cowboy, would  bolt down those stairs, arms open before jack got to them, loose all control, and shed all modesty like he did and lay the greatest kiss in all  of moviedom  (t) :d)on him ,practically in the middle of the street of all places!  This was unbeleivible. Jack had to be swept off his feet , caught totally off-guard by Ennis's show of need for him after 4 long years and boy, did it show!  Neither could get close enough , as some have said.The longer Ennis waited in that apartment, the more anxious he became to see em. He had to be telling  himself and coming to the full realization that there trully was "no reins on this one" .
This one was real, Ennis sending up a prayer a thanks for his unexpected luck. His "rodeo" had finally returned, giving him that second chance to never again let him go again.  A chance to correct his mistake of "63".  Though they had to meet in the middle of nowhere, Ennis never did let him go again, until fate intervened, and even then, their love prevailed.
 And Jack, oh my, the thoughts that must have went thru his mind as he redlined it to Riverton, peddle to the metal when Ennis answered the postcard "you bet"  That said Ennis would see him and he could come but..... What would he find? How would Ennis treat him? Would he find Ennis a settled, happily married man, who wanted to put Brokeback behind him and just remain good friends? Put yourself in Jack's place and I'm sure you gotta smile. Ennis was thinking the army got Jack was was possibly killed in the raging war in Vietnam. But there he was, alive and well with that killer smile on his face, in his arms once again.

 It was so sweet to see this and I cried at their newly found  happiness of reunion. I feel that every stolen moment they had together  from then on was filled with this happiness and no matter what happened later on , nothing could take those moments away from them.Yes, there are many moments of sadness in the film where they paid the price for their love, an emotional rollercoaster,  and love definitly hurts sometime,  but remember SNIT and other moments when , outstanding  gladness filled them too. Jack and Ennis ..forever. Thanx. :ghug:
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 03, 2008, 09:40 AM
Aww, thanx BT and Tony,. Their story is a sad  :\'(one that can bring so many tears, but there were also moments  of overwelming joy in their story. Moments that also brought tears to my eyes for them. For instance the now infamous reunion scene where hope and joy ruled.
 Neither one really knew what to expect. Jack, driving all the way from Texas on a wing and a prayer that Ennis will recieve him as he hoped he would, but never in his wildest dreams did he think his stoic, now married cowboy, would  bolt down those stairs, arms open before jack got to them, loose all control, and shed all modesty like he did and lay the greatest kiss in all  of moviedom  (t) :d)on him ,practically in the middle of the street of all places!  This was unbeleivible. Jack had to be swept off his feet , caught totally off-guard by Ennis's show of need for him after 4 long years and boy, did it show!  Neither could get close enough , as some have said.The longer Ennis waited in that apartment, the more anxious he became to see em. He had to be telling  himself and coming to the full realization that there trully was "no reins on this one" .
This one was real, Ennis sending up a prayer a thanks for his unexpected luck. His "rodeo" had finally returned, giving him that second chance to never again let him go again.  A chance to correct his mistake of "63".  Though they had to meet in the middle of nowhere, Ennis never did let him go again, until fate intervened, and even then, their love prevailed.
 And Jack, oh my, the thoughts that must have went thru his mind as he redlined it to Riverton, peddle to the metal when Ennis answered the postcard "you bet"  That said Ennis would see him and he could come but..... What would he find? How would Ennis treat him? Would he find Ennis a settled, happily married man, who wanted to put Brokeback behind him and just remain good friends? Put yourself in Jack's place and I'm sure you gotta smile. Ennis was thinking the army got Jack was was possibly killed in the raging war in Vietnam. But there he was, alive and well with that killer smile on his face, in his arms once again.


 It was so sweet to see this and I cried at their newly found  happiness of reunion. I feel that every stolen moment they had together  from then on was filled with this happiness and no matter what happened later on , nothing could take those moments away from them.Yes, there are many moments of sadness in the film where they paid the price for their love, an emotional rollercoaster,  and love definitly hurts sometime,  but remember SNIT and other moments when , outstanding  gladness filled them too. Jack and Ennis ..forever. Thanx. :ghug:

Damn, Af, you make me cry even with your happy sweet posts.  :\'( :\'( :\'( What you said here is a huge beautiful truth, but hey, a very moving one, so... :\'( :\'( :\'(
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 03, 2008, 04:19 PM
Tickets to see this film should a came with a box of tissues,what a roller-coaster ride this was. ! So go on and cry, I've never cried at ANY film before, but this one got me.

Now for something very...ahem... delicate?

BBM sex scene we did'nt see is the motel room scene. Obviously the eventually made it to the bed cuz there they were, all snuggled up and Jack talking about 4 yrs. ;) ;) and swearing to god, he did't know they would get back into it again, then having to relent. Can you imagine this session? Talk about no reins. My god, there could'nt have been any rules here. (t) :d) 4 long yrs worth of pent up passion. I imagine the first time was over pretty fast., the second a marathon. (t) When we see them , they're taking a cigararette break. ;) Ennis looks very sleepy and content, now, some say you can tell by the hair who did what to whom, ;D,but I don't think roles were their first priority. %( I imagine they did it all at least one time!. <^( :cr)

The conversation afterwards  with Jack asking  "Old Brokeback got us good don't it"? and at that moment Ennis strokes Jack's arm as confirmation. This is what I love about Ennis, he complicated and reserved, but can say so much with one little gesture  or speak loud and clear without one word uttered ( maybe a grunt)such as this. A tribute to Heath Ledger's excellent craft and range as an actor. He totally immersed himself into this character , Ennis Del Mar. They both , he and Jake put heart and soul into these two characters Jack and Ennis and it is what we , the viewer sees coming thru so well. They made us laugh, cry, angry, and glad. i think Brokeback got us all good.  Artistic excellence, personified.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 03, 2008, 04:34 PM
Tickets to see this film should a came with a box of tissues,what a roller-coaster ride this was. ! So go on and cry, I've never cried at ANY film before, but this one got me.

Now for something very...ahem... delicate?

BBM sex scene we did'nt see is the motel room scene. Obviously the eventually made it to the bed cuz there they were, all snuggled up and Jack talking about 4 yrs. ;) ;) and swearing to god, he did't know they would get back into it again, then having to relent. Can you imagine this session? Talk about no reins. My god, there could'nt have been any rules here. (t) :d) 4 long yrs worth of pent up passion. I imagine the first time was over pretty fast., the second a marathon. (t) When we see them , they're taking a cigararette break. ;) Ennis looks very sleepy and content, now, some say you can tell by the hair who did what to whom, ;D,but I don't think roles were their first priority. %( I imagine they did it all at least one time!. <^( :cr)

The conversation afterwards  with Jack asking  "Old Brokeback got us good don't it"? and at that moment Ennis strokes Jack's arm as confirmation. This is what I love about Ennis, he complicated and reserved, but can say so much with one little gesture  or speak loud and clear without one word uttered ( maybe a grunt)such as this. A tribute to Heath Ledger's excellent craft and range as an actor. He totally immersed himself into this character , Ennis Del Mar. They both , he and Jake put heart and soul into these two characters Jack and Ennis and it is what we , the viewer sees coming thru so well. They made us laugh, cry, angry, and glad. i think Brokeback got us all good.  Artistic excellence, personified.



Totally agree!!  ^f^

And for sex scene missing and the passion that sure was there...... >:D >:D >:D let me quote Jack in the SS:

“Christ, it got to be all that time a yours a-horseback makes it so goddam good.   (t) (t) (t)

And Ennis was...

Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent...  (t) (t) (t) Jesus, what an image!!! :d) :d)

I think that says everything about how amazing the sex was!!
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 03, 2008, 05:43 PM
Totally agree!!  ^f^

And for sex scene missing and the passion that sure was there...... >:D >:D >:D let me quote Jack in the SS:

“Christ, it got to be all that time a yours a-horseback makes it so goddam good.   (t) (t) (t)

And Ennis was...

Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent...  (t) (t) (t) Jesus, what an image!!! :d) :d)

I think that says everything about how amazing the sex was!!
i think your right  (t)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 03, 2008, 06:40 PM
Oh...MY...GOD... these images, " spread-eagle, wet and STILL half tumescent? , &*&, That's it!  now ya gone and done it. I'm turning on the fan (t) (t) (t) And we've all seen Ennis "a-horseback" right?. He rides pretty damn good imo!  >:D >:D :cr) :c). They must have been everywhere , the bed, the floor, the chair....god at least they left the lamps upright and the curtains hangin..... and they both appeared to have a little shine to em. This had to be excellent, "gut-wrenching sex. god, now I'm sweating. %) :ghug:
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 03, 2008, 06:43 PM
Oh...MY...GOD... these images, " spread-eagle, wet and STILL half tumescent? , &*&, That's it!  now ya gone and done it. I'm turning on the fan (t) (t) (t) And we've all seen Ennis "a-horseback" right?. He rides pretty damn good imo!  >:D >:D :cr) :c). They must have been everywhere , the bed, the floor, the chair....god at least they left the lamps upright and the curtains hangin..... and they both appeared to have a little shine to em. This had to be excellent, "gut-wrenching sex. god, now I'm sweating. %) :ghug:

OMG... now im sweating too thinking of jack doing those things  (t) (t) (t) (t) (t)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 03, 2008, 07:18 PM
I guess with Alma it was part of the deal, with Jack it was straight up need.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 03, 2008, 07:31 PM
The "Was Ennis Gay" and the equivalent Jack threads also have extensive discussions revolving around sexual identity, but I think you mean that their sexual history is relevant to whether they were active or passive? 

The primary question at hand is whether or not each one took on a rigid sexual role (passive vs. active) or whether they were more versatile.  When we discuss their possible sexual histories, perhaps we can make a direct connection to this question?

I'll wait for additional input/comments.


IMO, i think they where versitile. i mean we know in SNIT ennis was the active role. but the way they were lying in the motel scene it appeared to me jack had been the active partner, also the way the ss describe the motel scene and the way everything is after it seems to me as jack was the active partner.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 04, 2008, 05:54 AM
IMO, i think they where versitile. i mean we know in SNIT ennis was the active role. but the way they were lying in the motel scene it appeared to me jack had been the active partner, also the way the ss describe the motel scene and the way everything is after it seems to me as jack was the active partner.

I see your point.

Those non verbal signals were working overtime right from the start of the reunion with the "kiss", Ennis need for Jack, and Jack, surprise, and maybe a bit of anger for Ennis not reaching out for him sooner, left Ennis spread eagle, spent, wet, and with a touch, or move by Jack, could make him start all over again, I could see Jack taking Ennis, and Ennis letting him, Jack would have wanted Ennis in everyway.  Don't you?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 04, 2008, 06:20 AM
I see your point.

Those non verbal signals were working overtime right from the start of the reunion with the "kiss", Ennis need for Jack, and Jack, surprise, and maybe a bit of anger for Ennis not reaching out for him sooner, left Ennis spread eagle, spent, wet, and with a touch, or move by Jack, could make him start all over again, I could see Jack taking Ennis, and Ennis letting him, Jack would have wanted Ennis in everyway.  Don't you?
i agree, i think there was likely no place on either body, no sensation that coukd be caused, that ennis and jack wouldnt want to explore IMO they wanted to know each other fully body and soul.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 04, 2008, 10:02 AM
Oh...MY...GOD... these images, " spread-eagle, wet and STILL half tumescent? , &*&, That's it!  now ya gone and done it. I'm turning on the fan (t) (t) (t) And we've all seen Ennis "a-horseback" right?. He rides pretty damn good imo!  >:D >:D :cr) :c). They must have been everywhere , the bed, the floor, the chair....god at least they left the lamps upright and the curtains hangin..... and they both appeared to have a little shine to em. This had to be excellent, "gut-wrenching sex. god, now I'm sweating. %) :ghug:


 ;D ;D ;D You got that right girl!!  >:D >:D >:D >:D

I'm a puddle on the floor!!!  (t) (t) (t) Jesus!!! Jack said that Ennis did it soooooo good...... (t) (t) (t) (t) Need a shower now....
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on May 04, 2008, 11:53 AM
What is this,huh? I'm away for 4 days and when I'm back,you're speaking about SEX in the motel sceneˇ And,what's worst,speculating about HOW THIS NIGHT WOULD BEˇ  (t)  (t)  (t)  
Imagine two persons who haven't could forget each other for four years and who finally find each other with the same passion,magnified for the time's passingˇ One of them-Ennis-who has learned a lot since his virginal times in BBM and the other-Jack-who has spent these years riding more than bulls... Mix it all and the result gets as long as your imagination could ˇ. I think this night there would be no rules,no prohibitions,no fears... (t)  (t)   (t)   (t)

(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz160%2FTheBestKayDee%2Ffilms%2FBBM%2FSiestamotelroomphotoPaulCarson.jpg&hash=ee67f2ea7614a8e63b47e8b303daa3019680e072)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 04, 2008, 01:17 PM
Exactly, no total submission or total domination of one over the other.  The one thing, the only thing that either could give each other is their bodies, and in the way the other wanted to have him or to be had.   And I think that what scared the heck out of Ennis, he knew where it came to Jack there was no control, or limits and so the rules of engagement for the future.  I just wonder was it out fear of discovery or his fear of what Jack does to him when he's near him.

 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on May 04, 2008, 01:29 PM
When I was speaking about no fears I meant neither fear of discovering new pleasures and practices,nor fear of anything Jack could do to make him obtain them.Being as Ennis was,surely in another times when routine could weigh more ,his masculinity's image could prevail,but I guess that not in that night...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 04, 2008, 02:21 PM
When I was speaking about no fears I meant neither fear of discovering new pleasures and practices,nor fear of anything Jack could do to make him obtain them.Being as Ennis was,surely in another times when routine could weigh more ,his masculinity's image could prevail,but I guess that not in that night...

I totally understand you, you're talking of Ennis and letting what happen that night happen.  His guard was down that night, passion ruled.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on May 05, 2008, 07:06 AM
I find it a most wonderful irony that it is a manifestation of a passive, hidden love (i.e., the shirts in jack's closet) that finally gets to Ennis.  Passivity can be powerful, especially when it is like grass bending before the strong wind.


I really like the cinematic motion this beautiful statement gives me,  Thomas.  ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 09, 2008, 01:27 PM
Thanks oragetruck.  :)  I have to say that passivity can be powerful, especially when the character (i.e., Ennis) isn't even aware of how strong a hold he has on things.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 09, 2008, 06:44 PM
It takes me awhile, tpe speaks of passivity of Ennis, I see it in that SNIT.  Sex was going to happen that night, both knew it, but how the sex would occur.  Ennis's passivity was indeed powerful that night.   

Jack taking touching his arm, taking the hat from his hands, and gently as he could kisses him, Ennis pulls away a little, then yields.  How did this effect Jack, what was it telling Jack?   Would Ennis always yield to him?   Was Jack the only person Ennis felt he didn't have to take, but could be taken. 

How much did this mean to a man like Ennis, to be held, made love to, and yielding to whatever Jack wanted, because in doing that he was loved, being loved, and giving that love in return.   There must be a point in men like Ennis where they feel totally vulnerable, and maybe in the arms of the one person who knows what they need, and gives it to them.

JMO. 

 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 09, 2008, 07:00 PM
It takes me awhile, tpe speaks of passivity of Ennis, I see it in that SNIT.  Sex was going to happen that night, both knew it, but how the sex would occur.  Ennis's passivity was indeed powerful that night.   

Jack taking touching his arm, taking the hat from his hands, and gently as he could kisses him, Ennis pulls away a little, then yields.  How did this effect Jack, what was it telling Jack?   Would Ennis always yield to him?   Was Jack the only person Ennis felt he didn't have to take, but could be taken. 

How much did this mean to a man like Ennis, to be held, made love to, and yielding to whatever Jack wanted, because in doing that he was loved, being loved, and giving that love in return.   There must be a point in men like Ennis where they feel totally vulnerable, and maybe in the arms of the one person who knows what they need, and gives it to them.

JMO. 

 
good post i think this is very plausible and likely IMO
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 12, 2008, 08:06 AM
It takes me awhile, tpe speaks of passivity of Ennis, I see it in that SNIT.  Sex was going to happen that night, both knew it, but how the sex would occur.  Ennis's passivity was indeed powerful that night.   

Jack taking touching his arm, taking the hat from his hands, and gently as he could kisses him, Ennis pulls away a little, then yields.  How did this effect Jack, what was it telling Jack?   Would Ennis always yield to him?   Was Jack the only person Ennis felt he didn't have to take, but could be taken. 

How much did this mean to a man like Ennis, to be held, made love to, and yielding to whatever Jack wanted, because in doing that he was loved, being loved, and giving that love in return.   There must be a point in men like Ennis where they feel totally vulnerable, and maybe in the arms of the one person who knows what they need, and gives it to them.

JMO. 

The way Ennis yields to Jack in the SNIT indeed strikes me as beautiful in that Ennis fully exposes his vulnerability to Jack as in no other time, except perhaps in his collapse close to the end of the last Confrontation.    It was a pure act of giving.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 12, 2008, 10:02 AM
The way Ennis yields to Jack in the SNIT indeed strikes me as beautiful in that Ennis fully exposes his vulnerability to Jack as in no other time, except perhaps in his collapse close to the end of the last Confrontation.    It was a pure act of giving.


yes a pure submision off all that he was its beautiful :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Raisa on May 12, 2008, 03:30 PM
The way Ennis yields to Jack in the SNIT indeed strikes me as beautiful in that Ennis fully exposes his vulnerability to Jack as in no other time, except perhaps in his collapse close to the end of the last Confrontation.    It was a pure act of giving.



I quote this. Beautifully put together.

Though in the movie we tend to see that Ennis is the more dominant, active in masculine way (sorry I don't have the right words),  SNIT shows something of his other side. I personally have always wanted to think that their roles weren't so tightly fixed, that there were versatileness. I haven't read much fan fic, but some, and after reading fic that shows Ennis predominantly active I have felt little bit disturbed, cos I felt somewhat other way. OK, it is totally a world of its own. In the original AP's story and movie I have seen/wanted to see more variations. Jack is the more flexible, the one who can take different roles - although I see him more submissive by nature - but I just can't see Ennis only dominant. this is what i think and how i want it to be in my imagination. ;)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 12, 2008, 07:37 PM
The way Ennis yields to Jack in the SNIT indeed strikes me as beautiful in that Ennis fully exposes his vulnerability to Jack as in no other time, except perhaps in his collapse close to the end of the last Confrontation.    It was a pure act of giving.



But don't you think, that perhaps it was more than just that one night that Ennis yields.  I think that's why Jack holds on for so long, that Ennis does yield to him, and more than once.  I don't think Jack was a man to be all the time dominated by Ennis, and I think Ennis wants to unclench that fist inside of him, and the only person he could do this was with Jack. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 13, 2008, 07:20 AM
I quote this. Beautifully put together.

Though in the movie we tend to see that Ennis is the more dominant, active in masculine way (sorry I don't have the right words),  SNIT shows something of his other side. I personally have always wanted to think that their roles weren't so tightly fixed, that there were versatileness. I haven't read much fan fic, but some, and after reading fic that shows Ennis predominantly active I have felt little bit disturbed, cos I felt somewhat other way. OK, it is totally a world of its own. In the original AP's story and movie I have seen/wanted to see more variations. Jack is the more flexible, the one who can take different roles - although I see him more submissive by nature - but I just can't see Ennis only dominant. this is what i think and how i want it to be in my imagination. ;)

Good point, Carmilla.  I do think that roles were not as tightly fixed as we sometimes tend to think, especially with reference to certain scenes.  SNIT is of course a wonderful example, as you point out. 

I also don't see Ennis as dominant in everything, although I will say that in the end, it is a matter of taste on how we choose to extrapolate their roles beyond the scenes and the story itself.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 13, 2008, 07:22 AM
But don't you think, that perhaps it was more than just that one night that Ennis yields.  I think that's why Jack holds on for so long, that Ennis does yield to him, and more than once.  I don't think Jack was a man to be all the time dominated by Ennis, and I think Ennis wants to unclench that fist inside of him, and the only person he could do this was with Jack. 

I agree, it is probably not just this one night, although everything else requires some extrapolation on our part, as I had said to Carmilla in my previous post.  SNIT is sympomatic of a certain flexibility in the roles each character played, I think.  I personally think that it was give and take, as far as both of them are concerned.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 13, 2008, 10:14 PM
Good point, Carmilla.  I do think that roles were not as tightly fixed as we sometimes tend to think, especially with reference to certain scenes.  SNIT is of course a wonderful example, as you point out. 

I also don't see Ennis as dominant in everything, although I will say that in the end, it is a matter of taste on how we choose to extrapolate their roles beyond the scenes and the story itself.


 In a general sense we can speak of  one of them as "dominant". Some one on top and some one on the bottom, "submissive". The one on top being  thought of as the dominant one.

  But really, just because one is *bottom* , does that mean that one was not in a dominant position?  Passive-dominance? There are so many variations and positions that warrant the lables "dominate "or "submissive", top or bottom. If it was *oral*, who would  be considered dominant? , giver or reciever?  Is either partner submissive? I feel both are giving and getting equally, can't have one, without the other.
 It stuck me that after what had transpired in FNIT, Jack was there, in full view of Ennis, undressing though within the tent, he knew Ennis was still in camp and Ennis watches him do it. Did Ennis see this as an invitation by Jack to join him again? A challenge of his will?  While Ennis sat on the log , he kept looking over at Jack taking off his clothes off . What's up with that? Jack just waited and Ennis came in. How much control did Jack have? I'd say alot!  seductive? yes but was he concious of what he did to Ennis? Seems to have Ennis pretty much figured out despite the converstion on the hill. Forget what Ennis says he is, the point is ...what's he gonna do...?What does Ennis do? ..exactly what Jack wants him to do. That's Jack's control over Ennis, concious of it or not. Ennis wants and needs Jack.

 Imo, it is all in their minds, what role they felt they were taking  wether it's Jack or Ennis, though Jack did have much control over Ennis without having to say a word. The terms *dominant* and *submissive*  have certain conatations imo, that one had more control over the other in this case ,in a physical sense.. Pychologically it's on a different level. It is more potent, more personally fuffilling.  One can say the whole theme  in the scene of SNIT was to show Jack's role  as the guider, the active one,  but that Ennis has certain personality traits that still  show him hesitant, unsure of  who he his , or why he is doing this,  but  also willing to explore  it further..  Content to have Jack take the lead.

 To me, it is a matter of how much control over  his body is he willing to give at the point of SNIT.  His comfort level. Enough to alow himself to be penetrated?  Well, I don't know,  This is Ennis, the same Ennis who can't hold Jack face to face because it's another  man he held, the same Ennis who swore he was'nt *queer* at first light..  Not to say there was'nt a  huge revelation , but  Ennis, conflicted within himself wether he can accept this  need for another man sexually on a continuous , unconditional basis.  What would that say about Ennis and who he was? Looking at it from the physical aspects of what he shared with Jack, he should have been able to admit he, Ennis Del Mar, was in love with a man , but why could'nt he?
 It's another part of the film that leaves  much open to speculation. Could Jack break through these barriers in one night because Ennis entered the tent??
 On the other hand, it's watch what Ennis  does, rather than what he says, but it's what he feels that matters.  Feel that Ennis and Jack are both very attracted to the * masculinity* in each other, making roles indistinguisable.  I think he entered SNIT having no idea what would transpire , but felt ready to find out for himself  if Jack was the one.To search jack's beautiful eyes for  more of discoveries  of an emotional ,and mental sense than physically.   Did Ennis "bottom" in SNIT?
I really don't know,, I'll concede there is a possility, but I still have doubts.

   Based on their personality traits basically ,Jack is more flexible and open to his role or choices ,sexual or otherwise, a part of his basic personality,, more freely accepting of any role he was asked to be in with Ennis, but I feel that  at no time did he feel unequal , or submissive during sex. in SNIT, he would taken things slow, but that's just my opinion., more of feeling each other out more establishment of certain "roles*, getting  Ennis used to a mutual understanding of what was happening to them mentally, though I feel some kind of sex took place.

  I do  think that eventually Ennis and Jack tried every position known to man , partaking freely  whenever ,or where ever they could get it. Equal in whatever role or position  they chose to take,  but ,... all over a period of time within that summer on Brokeback, then long term, thru the yrs.,  found their preference or niche. God, I wish there was a scene including them making love, when they get older....  Sorry, Rambling on, Just MHO. Thanx.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on May 14, 2008, 07:40 AM

....

  I do  think that eventually Ennis and Jack tried every position known to man , partaking freely  whenever ,or where ever they could get it. Equal in whatever role or position  they chose to take,  but ,... all over a period of time within that summer on Brokeback, then long term, thru the yrs.,  found their preference or niche. God, I wish there was a scene including them making love, when they get older....  Sorry, Rambling on, Just MHO. Thanx.

I really love your whole post, AF, but I'll just quote the last paragraph. In a crescendo, I feel the same here. I like how you've dug into what it is to be dominant/submissive, love the note about Jack not *feeling* submissive -- totally spot on. Ennis bottoming is as hard for me to put a finger on as it is to follow trails back to the root of being 'dominant' or 'submissive'. When the directors/writers of the film left SNIT open for interpretation, they really left us with four walls of open canvas. Thanks again for your post, really gives a lot to think about.
:)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 14, 2008, 07:47 AM

 In a general sense we can speak of  one of them as "dominant". Some one on top and some one on the bottom, "submissive". The one on top being  thought of as the dominant one.

  But really, just because one is *bottom* , does that mean that one was not in a dominant position?  Passive-dominance? There are so many variations and positions that warrant the lables "dominate "or "submissive", top or bottom. If it was *oral*, who would  be considered dominant? , giver or reciever?  Is either partner submissive? I feel both are giving and getting equally, can't have one, without the other...

Excellent point, aintfoolin.  There is a big distinction between dominance in a sexual role/position, and dominance in a relationship.  They certainly don't go hand in hand, for the most part.  And to be sure, there can be a controlling power in passivity -- what you call "passive-dominance."  This should not be strange or unfamiliar to those of us who have been in long term relationships, where sometimes, we see such a thing as passive control over a relationship. 

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 14, 2008, 07:48 AM
I really love your whole post, AF, but I'll just quote the last paragraph. In a crescendo, I feel the same here. I like how you've dug into what it is to be dominant/submissive, love the note about Jack not *feeling* submissive -- totally spot on. Ennis bottoming is as hard for me to put a finger on as it is to follow trails back to the root of being 'dominant' or 'submissive'. When the directors/writers of the film left SNIT open for interpretation, they really left us with four walls of open canvas. Thanks again for your post, really gives a lot to think about.
:)

Beautiful response, orangetruck.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 14, 2008, 08:44 AM
Jack felt it all along didn't he?  That leash that was around his neck, and Ennis ability with slightest pressure, can bring Jack to him.   Wasn't it the thought of Jack being with someone else was something Ennis couldn't handle.  How the lines got blurred.   When it got right to it, how each man didn't really understand how the other felt, but only saw it thought their eyes.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on May 14, 2008, 04:04 PM
I love all these posts and feel like quoting them all. Don't worry, I won't. But I will make note especially of what tpe said:

"There is a big distinction between dominance in a sexual role/position, and dominance in a relationship."

Absolutely. And the two do not necessarily have to correlate with each other. I have my own opinions about what constitutes dominance in sexual matters, and I've always been struck by how many people instinctively think that a person who 'tops' is necessarily dominant in the sexual relationship, because I've never seen it that way. But regardless of who has dominance there, it does not necessarily mirror who has dominance within the relationship. And of course sometimes (and I think very much in the case of Jack and Ennis) each person in the relationship might have an opinion as to who is dominant and they don't necessarily match up. It can be so ironic to find, after many years, that both felt the other partner had the control all along. This ties into what manhattangirl said as well.

And finally, like tpe, I just love what orangetruck said:

"When the directors/writers of the film left SNIT open for interpretation, they really left us with four walls of open canvas."
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 14, 2008, 04:09 PM

 In a general sense we can speak of  one of them as "dominant". Some one on top and some one on the bottom, "submissive". The one on top being  thought of as the dominant one.

  But really, just because one is *bottom* , does that mean that one was not in a dominant position?  Passive-dominance? There are so many variations and positions that warrant the lables "dominate "or "submissive", top or bottom. If it was *oral*, who would  be considered dominant? , giver or reciever?  Is either partner submissive? I feel both are giving and getting equally, can't have one, without the other.
 It stuck me that after what had transpired in FNIT, Jack was there, in full view of Ennis, undressing though within the tent, he knew Ennis was still in camp and Ennis watches him do it. Did Ennis see this as an invitation by Jack to join him again? A challenge of his will?  While Ennis sat on the log , he kept looking over at Jack taking off his clothes off . What's up with that? Jack just waited and Ennis came in. How much control did Jack have? I'd say alot!  seductive? yes but was he concious of what he did to Ennis? Seems to have Ennis pretty much figured out despite the converstion on the hill. Forget what Ennis says he is, the point is ...what's he gonna do...?What does Ennis do? ..exactly what Jack wants him to do. That's Jack's control over Ennis, concious of it or not. Ennis wants and needs Jack.
Imo, it is all in their minds, what role they felt they were taking  wether it's Jack or Ennis, though Jack did have much control over Ennis without having to say a word. The terms *dominant* and *submissive*  have certain conatations imo, that one had more control over the other in this case ,in a physical sense.. Pychologically it's on a different level. It is more potent, more personally fuffilling.  One can say the whole theme  in the scene of SNIT was to show Jack's role  as the guider, the active one,  but that Ennis has certain personality traits that still  show him hesitant, unsure of  who he his , or why he is doing this,  but  also willing to explore  it further..  Content to have Jack take the lead.
 To me, it is a matter of how much control over  his body is he willing to give at the point of SNIT.  His comfort level. Enough to alow himself to be penetrated?  Well, I don't know,  This is Ennis, the same Ennis who can't hold Jack face to face because it's another  man he held, the same Ennis who swore he was'nt *queer* at first light..  Not to say there was'nt a  huge revelation , but  Ennis, conflicted within himself wether he can accept this  need for another man sexually on a continuous , unconditional basis.  What would that say about Ennis and who he was? Looking at it from the physical aspects of what he shared with Jack, he should have been able to admit he, Ennis Del Mar, was in love with a man , but why could'nt he?  It's another part of the film that leaves  much open to speculation. Could Jack break through these barriers in one night because Ennis entered the tent??
 On the other hand, it's watch what Ennis  does, rather than what he says, but it's what he feels that matters.  Feel that Ennis and Jack are both very attracted to the * masculinity* in each other, making roles indistinguisable.  I think he entered SNIT having no idea what would transpire , but felt ready to find out for himself  if Jack was the one.To search jack's beautiful eyes for  more of discoveries  of an emotional ,and mental sense than physically.   Did Ennis "bottom" in SNIT?
I really don't know,, I'll concede there is a possility, but I still have doubts.


   Based on their personality traits basically ,Jack is more flexible and open to his role or choices ,sexual or otherwise, a part of his basic personality,, more freely accepting of any role he was asked to be in with Ennis, but I feel that  at no time did he feel unequal , or submissive during sex. in SNIT, he would taken things slow, but that's just my opinion., more of feeling each other out more establishment of certain "roles*, getting  Ennis used to a mutual understanding of what was happening to them mentally, though I feel some kind of sex took place.

  I do  think that eventually Ennis and Jack tried every position known to man , partaking freely  whenever ,or where ever they could get it. Equal in whatever role or position  they chose to take,  but ,... all over a period of time within that summer on Brokeback, then long term, thru the yrs.,  found their preference or niche. God, I wish there was a scene including them making love, when they get older....   Sorry, Rambling on, Just MHO. Thanx.

Awesome gorgeous post AF!!  :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: I totally agree with everything you said. And you know how I really feel about them having sex when they get older.... (t) (t) (t) (t)


I love all these posts and feel like quoting them all. Don't worry, I won't. But I will make note especially of what tpe said:

"There is a big distinction between dominance in a sexual role/position, and dominance in a relationship."

Absolutely. And the two do not necessarily have to correlate with each other. I have my own opinions about what constitutes dominance in sexual matters, and I've always been struck by how many people instinctively think that a person who 'tops' is necessarily dominant in the sexual relationship, because I've never seen it that way. But regardless of who has dominance there, it does not necessarily mirror who has dominance within the relationship. And of course sometimes (and I think very much in the case of Jack and Ennis) each person in the relationship might have an opinion as to who is dominant and they don't necessarily match up. It can be so ironic to find, after many years, that both felt the other partner had the control all along. This ties into what manhattangirl said as well.


Yeah, Barb, I think that is so Ennis and Jack. They both felt the other partner had the control.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on May 15, 2008, 02:30 AM
I love all these posts and feel like quoting them all. Don't worry, I won't. But I will make note especially of what tpe said:

"There is a big distinction between dominance in a sexual role/position, and dominance in a relationship."

Absolutely. And the two do not necessarily have to correlate with each other. I have my own opinions about what constitutes dominance in sexual matters, and I've always been struck by how many people instinctively think that a person who 'tops' is necessarily dominant in the sexual relationship, because I've never seen it that way. But regardless of who has dominance there, it does not necessarily mirror who has dominance within the relationship. And of course sometimes (and I think very much in the case of Jack and Ennis) each person in the relationship might have an opinion as to who is dominant and they don't necessarily match up. It can be so ironic to find, after many years, that both felt the other partner had the control all along. This ties into what manhattangirl said as well.

And finally, like tpe, I just love what orangetruck said:

"When the directors/writers of the film left SNIT open for interpretation, they really left us with four walls of open canvas."


 Great post, and I agree with everything  you and tpe said too. MG, right on the spot with the the way they saw so much only through their own eyes. Some invisable line there neither will cross, simply to say " I need you. If they say it out loud, some, control is perceived to be lost.

Within the relationship , just on the surface, Ennis appears to have control of things  well at hand, appears to have Jack wrapped around his little finger. He is the one instinctively seen as the dominant one , the one who is strongminded  and able to stand it. He is the one who lays down the law and holds that leash in firm grasp.  Has control, over the pace of the meetings, shoots straight, rides a horse like he was born there, etc, the perfect picture of "masculinity" and "dominance" , he  seemingly has ,comfortably within  his grip, Jack's destiny.

Jack is to  be totally faithful  to him in mind and body or else..  The short leash is working....for him... it's tightning around Jack's neck like a noose..  Restrained and hidden away, like being brought like the good china only on special occasions, once or twice a year.

But say for instance, just for instance,  JACK , turned the tables on Ennis, started changing the meeting times, started  having reasons to lessen the meetings, Jack, the one who is open and accepting of his sexuality,starts to have problems getting time off. Bobby needs him,  Jack, who drives hundreds of miles just to see him for a week,  suddenly begins to have mechanical problems with his truck. , Jack ,who sees an alternative to what Ennis feels is best for them, who has a dream on hold and long overdue, and is willing to carry it out with the right motivation..  Jack, who  has a better idea.  Can even admit, he needs company of a man though he "hardly gets it  from Ennis.  Not that he ever tried it, but He could wreak total havoc on Ennis's psyche.
 What Jack can withold from Ennis if he so chooses, cannot be measured  by who is dominant and who is'nt, but by who will survive when "percieved "dominance is put to the test.

 He only got a little taste of it in the confrontation scene when he thought Jack was quitting him.  Ennis was the one who was unable to handle letting go. He only has control...until Jack exerts his. When  Jack exerts his control, in any way that spells Jack quitting ,or Jack rejecting him, , like yeah sure, he really looked and acted like he was'nt foollin alright, , getting in Jack's  face like a bully, , threatening death on em if he found out anything else., but please really now.....like he's gonna really harm or kill Jack.  Probably FELT like it yeah ,but....

Jack had touched a nerve on a couple  of his major  insecurities that's all, , the saftey factor, and other men. and was'nt apologetic about being  left vulnerable to it..  Ennis acted like  Jack was unknowingly *off the leash* running wild and unrestrained through the Mexican bowerys, ...Not!..and Ennis is  purely  jealous.   his "percieved" control is threatened and challenged.    What  good are  "masculine" virtues  and "dominant" qualities, when within a few moments he is down on his knees holding on to Jack for dear life.  What he needs from Jack comes from within, all the way down to his conflicted soul.

 Below the surface,  he  so desperatley needed that little  soft face stroke Jack gives him in the "no reins on this one "scene by the river.  Certainly, Ennis's story  helped Jack to understand Ennis a little more and bought Ennis more time, while he wrestled with ths "thing", but he had to know, sooner or later, Jack was going to exert his control, and require  a more definitive answer to "for how long".  Jack could have simply said * were not Earl and Rich", challenging Ennis's reasons for not ranching up then , but did he? No , He acccepted for then ,and let it be for Ennis. Jack held his own leash on Ennis's heart  but held it loosely , giving him the space he needed, but  never let go. He gave Ennis what he wanted but, only that in which Ennis needed to live.  his unconditional freindship, and love. He knew when  Ennis  needed that to be enough...for that moment.. Just another example of Jack's "passive dominance" over Ennis.  Thanx.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 15, 2008, 06:21 AM
Each had dominance in over the other, in different ways.   Ennis dominance as far as the relationship went, "that leash" Jack felt said it all. Sexual dominance, Ennis couldn't resist Jack, but couldn't control him either, all he could do was threaten him. And each used exactly that in the final confrontation, which brought them back to the same place. The strain of the control one had over the other but no desire or the ability to break it.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 15, 2008, 07:36 AM
Jack felt it all along didn't he?  That leash that was around his neck, and Ennis ability with slightest pressure, can bring Jack to him.   Wasn't it the thought of Jack being with someone else was something Ennis couldn't handle.  How the lines got blurred.   When it got right to it, how each man didn't really understand how the other felt, but only saw it thought their eyes.   

It is true that Jack felt he was constrained by his love for Ennis -- most certainly in the later years.   But from the Last Confrontation, it did seem that Ennis was also emotionally dependent on Jack, and Ennis's jealousy was an indication of how strongly he felt and felt threatened by any such thing he would come to know. 

I guess I am leading you to the supposition that both of them "dominated" each other in certain ways -- and that the final confrontation occured because it became increasingly apparent that there was no more room to maneuver around these roles. 

It wasn't just a question of who gets what or who gets his way...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 15, 2008, 07:43 AM
And finally, like tpe, I just love what orangetruck said:

"When the directors/writers of the film left SNIT open for interpretation, they really left us with four walls of open canvas."


I do think that the metaphor of 4 walls of open canvas is very apt.  There certainly are constraints on any discussions pertaining to their roles; but within these boundaries, we can paint them in a way that speaks to us through our own individual experiences.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 15, 2008, 07:48 AM
Great post, and I agree with everything  you and tpe said too. MG, right on the spot with the the way they saw so much only through their own eyes. Some invisable line there neither will cross, simply to say " I need you. If they say it out loud, some, control is perceived to be lost.

Within the relationship , just on the surface, Ennis appears to have control of things  well at hand, appears to have Jack wrapped around his little finger. He is the one instinctively seen as the dominant one , the one who is strongminded  and able to stand it. He is the one who lays down the law and holds that leash in firm grasp.  Has control, over the pace of the meetings, shoots straight, rides a horse like he was born there, etc, the perfect picture of "masculinity" and "dominance" , he  seemingly has ,comfortably within  his grip, Jack's destiny.

Jack is to  be totally faithful  to him in mind and body or else..  The short leash is working....for him... it's tightning around Jack's neck like a noose..  Restrained and hidden away, like being brought like the good china only on special occasions, once or twice a year.

But say for instance, just for instance,  JACK , turned the tables on Ennis, started changing the meeting times, started  having reasons to lessen the meetings, Jack, the one who is open and accepting of his sexuality,starts to have problems getting time off. Bobby needs him,  Jack, who drives hundreds of miles just to see him for a week,  suddenly begins to have mechanical problems with his truck. , Jack ,who sees an alternative to what Ennis feels is best for them, who has a dream on hold and long overdue, and is willing to carry it out with the right motivation..  Jack, who  has a better idea.  Can even admit, he needs company of a man though he "hardly gets it  from Ennis.  Not that he ever tried it, but He could wreak total havoc on Ennis's psyche.
 What Jack can withold from Ennis if he so chooses, cannot be measured  by who is dominant and who is'nt, but by who will survive when "percieved "dominance is put to the test.

 He only got a little taste of it in the confrontation scene when he thought Jack was quitting him.  Ennis was the one who was unable to handle letting go. He only has control...until Jack exerts his. When  Jack exerts his control, in any way that spells Jack quitting ,or Jack rejecting him, , like yeah sure, he really looked and acted like he was'nt foollin alright, , getting in Jack's  face like a bully, , threatening death on em if he found out anything else., but please really now.....like he's gonna really harm or kill Jack.  Probably FELT like it yeah ,but....

Jack had touched a nerve on a couple  of his major  insecurities that's all, , the saftey factor, and other men. and was'nt apologetic about being  left vulnerable to it..  Ennis acted like  Jack was unknowingly *off the leash* running wild and unrestrained through the Mexican bowerys, ...Not!..and Ennis is  purely  jealous.   his "percieved" control is threatened and challenged.    What  good are  "masculine" virtues  and "dominant" qualities, when within a few moments he is down on his knees holding on to Jack for dear life.  What he needs from Jack comes from within, all the way down to his conflicted soul.

 Below the surface,  he  so desperatley needed that little  soft face stroke Jack gives him in the "no reins on this one "scene by the river.  Certainly, Ennis's story  helped Jack to understand Ennis a little more and bought Ennis more time, while he wrestled with ths "thing", but he had to know, sooner or later, Jack was going to exert his control, and require  a more definitive answer to "for how long".  Jack could have simply said * were not Earl and Rich", challenging Ennis's reasons for not ranching up then , but did he? No , He acccepted for then ,and let it be for Ennis. Jack held his own leash on Ennis's heart  but held it loosely , giving him the space he needed, but  never let go. He gave Ennis what he wanted but, only that in which Ennis needed to live.  his unconditional freindship, and love. He knew when  Ennis  needed that to be enough...for that moment.. Just another example of Jack's "passive dominance" over Ennis.  Thanx.

Sometimes, I think that Ennis was in control only so far as Jack let him dictate terms.  Ennis seemed oblivious to the control he had on Jack, partly because (I think) it wes Jack to allowed the terms to constrain him.  I think part of this is at the heart of what you say here. 

Jack allowed all this out of love, I believe.  Perhaps he should have also fought the constraints out of love.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on May 15, 2008, 08:21 AM
You guys blow me away. I love everything you've all said here.

I really do think, in terms of dominance or control over the relationship, the irony here is that neither of them ever truly had it, because for them love really was a force of nature.

Ennis may have wished he wasn't gay, or emotionally attached to another man, preferring to refer to their relationship as 'this thing' between them, but he never felt whole without Jack ("The fourth summer since Brokeback Mountain came on and in June Ennis had a general delivery letter from Jack Twist, the first sign of life in all that time" - which I take to mean not just the first sign of life from Jack, but also the first sign of life in all that time for Ennis), but as aintfoolin pointed out, he was desperate to keep things together for them in the final confrontation.

And Jack may have wished he "knew how to quit" Ennis, but he also knew that was just a wish and he too would do whatever it took to be with him, however frustrated or hurt he might be.

Ennis had the control in that he was the one that held the reins on the decision of whether to make a life together, but it was really only the illusion of control, because as long as he thought that was a choice he didn't have to make, he could never exercise that control. Jack had control because at any time he could have stopped following the 'rules' of their arrangement and rebeled against it, but again that's only the illusion of control. As much as people frequently wish he would have pushed Ennis harder, he wasn't able to make himself do anything that might result in losing what he had of Ennis.

So in the end, I think the control really belonged to the relationship itself. The force of nature that was their love and need for each other controlled them both from the moment they met until, presumably, the day that Ennis died. Within that context, I think they rotated dominance, much like when they wrestled on the mountain, one on top of the other as they rolled over and over with no control over their fall.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 15, 2008, 10:17 AM
Ennis had the control in that he was the one that held the reins on the decision of whether to make a life together, but it was really only the illusion of control, because as long as he thought that was a choice he didn't have to make, he could never exercise that control. Jack had control because at any time he could have stopped following the 'rules' of their arrangement and rebeled against it, but again that's only the illusion of control. As much as people frequently wish he would have pushed Ennis harder, he wasn't able to make himself do anything that might result in losing what he had of Ennis.

So in the end, I think the control really belonged to the relationship itself. The force of nature that was their love and need for each other controlled them both from the moment they met until, presumably, the day that Ennis died. Within that context, I think they rotated dominance, much like when they wrestled on the mountain, one on top of the other as they rolled over and over with no control over their fall.

Amazing post Barb!!!!  ^f^ You got me stunned here. Yeah, I think you're right here. Ennis had NOT control over that thing; he couldn't stop needing Jack. And Jack had NOT control, unable to quit Ennis in spite of all his pain. So then, LOVE had really control there. There was nothing they could do there. They were puppets in the hands of love.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on May 15, 2008, 10:44 AM
Amazing post Barb!!!!  ^f^ You got me stunned here. Yeah, I think you're right here. Ennis had NOT control over that thing; he couldn't stop needing Jack. And Jack had NOT control, unable to quit Ennis in spite of all his pain. So then, LOVE had really control there. There was nothing they could do there. They were puppets in the hands of love.

Great phrase,Tammy;simple,but directˇ :clap:  .They were puppets in the hands of love. That's what reflexes the best how they felt and how they're really were-how is anybody who is in love,one the other hand...-.No matter how each one of us was,how strong,sure of himself,aggressive,active,passive and so on;both in a physical and in a emotional sense.There was something that was above them always:the love they felt for each other.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on May 15, 2008, 11:08 AM
Oh my God, that's it exactly. Well said Tammy and mpj. <^(  Especially:


"So then, LOVE had really control there. There was nothing they could do there. They were puppets in the hands of love."  

And:


"There was something that was above them always:the love they felt for each other."



Thank you for putting it so well. :ghug:
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on May 15, 2008, 12:23 PM
%(  Thank you for understand it and feeling it so wellˇ.   :ghug:
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Raisa on May 15, 2008, 12:53 PM


I really do think, in terms of dominance or control over the relationship, the irony here is that neither of them ever truly had it, because for them love really was a force of nature.

So then, LOVE had really control there. There was nothing they could do there. They were puppets in the hands of love.

There was something that was above them always:the love they felt for each other.

   Exactly!   Now I'm in a puddle of tears.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on May 15, 2008, 01:09 PM
   Exactly!   Now I'm in a puddle of tears.

Raisa   :ghug:   :^^) 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 16, 2008, 04:08 AM
Flowerchild comes closest to how I understood it.  In my mind, each man had control but in different ways.  I think that Ennis had the emotional control, Jack had the sexual control.  You may know or not know what control you have over lover.  If you do they may say, "she know how to get to me".  And Jack and Ennis knew exactly how to get to each other.   And something like this after years of dealing with each other in the most intimade ways, of telling each other the most intimate secrets of their lives to each other, of  course they knew what hits to make and what hurts.   The final confrontation was about what hurts. 

Ennis just was standing there biting his nails as he told Jack he moved up the date, he knew what explosion was going to happen, the emotional storm that would follow,and  Jack didn't let slip his reasons for sex with others as an "ooops" moment, but that he wasn't Ennis, Jack knew this one thing would hurt Ennis. Each man had a leash on each other and pulled. 

I don't know if you agree with me that leash was the love they had for each other, and what bound them.  And don't get me wrong I don't mean this in a bad way, but just the way it was.   It's like couples we know in our lives, and we wonder "How in the world they stay together?", but they do, and couldn't really function without each other.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on May 16, 2008, 06:27 AM
Absolutely, that leash was their love and it was what bound them. I don't take it as a negative statement, just how it was. That same leash kept them constricted at times but also connected to each other, so it could never truly be seen as a negative. Without it, they wouldn't have been anchored. Just like an actual dog on a leash, he may pull against the restraint but it is there after all to protect him and keep him close to his owner. Their love (that leash) both protected and pulled at them, restrained them and freed them.

Sigh, sometimes love just isn't easy, is it?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 16, 2008, 07:34 AM
Amazing post Barb!!!!  ^f^ You got me stunned here. Yeah, I think you're right here. Ennis had NOT control over that thing; he couldn't stop needing Jack. And Jack had NOT control, unable to quit Ennis in spite of all his pain. So then, LOVE had really control there. There was nothing they could do there. They were puppets in the hands of love.

I agree, it is a very good point.  I certainly think that they had very little control over their love for each other, in the snese that in spite of everything that conspired to push them apart, they persisted. 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 16, 2008, 07:36 AM
I don't know if you agree with me that leash was the love they had for each other, and what bound them.  And don't get me wrong I don't mean this in a bad way, but just the way it was.   It's like couples we know in our lives, and we wonder "How in the world they stay together?", but they do, and couldn't really function without each other.


We hear about Jack talking about the short leash.  I think it was after Ennis broke down that he understood that Ennis was also tethered.  They were each other's pivot point, and they barely knew it.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on May 16, 2008, 10:04 AM
We hear about Jack talking about the short leash.  I think it was after Ennis broke down that he understood that Ennis was also tethered.  They were each other's pivot point, and they barely knew it.


i agree
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: cowgirlKt! on May 16, 2008, 11:33 AM
Absolutely, that leash was their love and it was what bound them. I don't take it as a negative statement, just how it was. That same leash kept them constricted at times but also connected to each other, so it could never truly be seen as a negative. Without it, they wouldn't have been anchored. Just like an actual dog on a leash, he may pull against the restraint but it is there after all to protect him and keep him close to his owner. Their love (that leash) both protected and pulled at them, restrained them and freed them.

Sigh, sometimes love just isn't easy, is it?

i totally agree everyone is coming up with some REALLY good points here! Well love is a strong powerful thing...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 16, 2008, 12:37 PM
Flowerchild comes closest to how I understood it.  In my mind, each man had control but in different ways.  I think that Ennis had the emotional control, Jack had the sexual control.  You may know or not know what control you have over lover.  If you do they may say, "she know how to get to me".  And Jack and Ennis knew exactly how to get to each other.   And something like this after years of dealing with each other in the most intimade ways, of telling each other the most intimate secrets of their lives to each other, of  course they knew what hits to make and what hurts.   The final confrontation was about what hurts. 

Ennis just was standing there biting his nails as he told Jack he moved up the date, he knew what explosion was going to happen, the emotional storm that would follow,and  Jack didn't let slip his reasons for sex with others as an "ooops" moment, but that he wasn't Ennis, Jack knew this one thing would hurt Ennis. Each man had a leash on each other and pulled. 

I don't know if you agree with me that leash was the love they had for each other, and what bound them.  And don't get me wrong I don't mean this in a bad way, but just the way it was.   It's like couples we know in our lives, and we wonder "How in the world they stay together?", but they do, and couldn't really function without each other.


Beautiful post MG!! I agree. But I wonder if they really told each other the most intimate secrets.....I don't think so, at least not when it's about their feelings for each other. Just my opinion. ^f^

Absolutely, that leash was their love and it was what bound them. I don't take it as a negative statement, just how it was. That same leash kept them constricted at times but also connected to each other, so it could never truly be seen as a negative. Without it, they wouldn't have been anchored. Just like an actual dog on a leash, he may pull against the restraint but it is there after all to protect him and keep him close to his owner. Their love (that leash) both protected and pulled at them, restrained them and freed them.
Sigh, sometimes love just isn't easy, is it?

I quote the whole post. That's love, that was love for Ennis and Jack, a leash to keep them constricted but to protect them too and keep them close. In my country we say: I can't live with you, but I can't live without you neither. You know, that love hurts most of the times, no matter how beautiful it is. My mother used to tell me that "who really loves you, always will make you cry". That's life, that's love.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 16, 2008, 05:40 PM
Tammy,

I'm thinking of the scenes on the mountain, Jack's relationship with his father, Ennis's confessing his virginity, we get a glimispes of these two men,.  Almost touching on what we're talking about.  Jack's emotional need, the sexual awakening of Ennis.  I may be wrong, but I don't know but it seem like those scenes hit at what made them tick.   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on May 16, 2008, 05:48 PM
Tammy,

I'm thinking of the scenes on the mountain, Jack's relationship with his father, Ennis's confessing his virginity, we get a glimispes of these two men,.  Almost touching on what we're talking about.  Jack's emotional need, the sexual awakening of Ennis.  I may be wrong, but I don't know but it seem like those scenes hit at what made them tick.   

Yea, yes MG you're right!!  ^f^ I was only saying that maybe they talked about every simply thing, about their problems, fears and wishes...their dreams and hopes, their secrets...but never about what they were feeling for each other, never about love...

Am I wrong? Just asking.... ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on May 16, 2008, 06:14 PM
Yea, yes MG you're right!!  ^f^ I was only saying that maybe they talked about every simply thing, about their problems, fears and wishes...their dreams and hopes, their secrets...but never about what they were feeling for each other, never about love...

Am I wrong? Just asking.... ^f^

Heck no you ain't wrong, you're right in just what you said, they never talk about things like that, remember in AP ss, "they never talked of the sex", how it the heck you don't about sex?  :i  or  the things you just pointed out.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on May 19, 2008, 08:17 AM
Tammy,

I'm thinking of the scenes on the mountain, Jack's relationship with his father, Ennis's confessing his virginity, we get a glimispes of these two men,.  Almost touching on what we're talking about.  Jack's emotional need, the sexual awakening of Ennis.  I may be wrong, but I don't know but it seem like those scenes hit at what made them tick.   

Interesting and certainly valid points.  They do seem to say something about what made them tick.  Specifically, Ennis's relative innocence and Jack's need of emotional anchor do prepare the way for waht was about to happen.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 26, 2008, 07:40 PM
Not to be too personal, but if there are any gay guys or knowledgable straight men or women posting, I have QUESTIONS!  Do roles ever change between partners, from being submissive, to being dominant, within the same relationship (ie., Jack and Ennis)?  And anatomically speaking, how was Jack satisfied physically if Ennis always served as the dominant partner?  Please don't kick me off this website; I am a bit sex-challenged!
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Ranchand1 on Aug 26, 2008, 10:30 PM
     Step away from that there whisky spring.

     Ah well Ill try to say something...

     The roles are varying in degree from relationship to relationship.  We have to define the roles as the relationship plays out.  Some men only like to be active <top> others will like to mostly/only recieve <bottom>.  There is usualy some flux even there.  Its as varried as anything else two men get together for.  From the one extreme "ONLY" do this, to the other "anything anywhere anytime."

     Men have a way of recieving much pleasure being the reciever in ways women don't, for the same activity.  An can get from A to Z doing it.

    For a more graphic introduction try google.  Or maybe someone else can be more....thorough.  Vague I know.

   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 27, 2008, 01:03 AM
     Step away from that there whisky spring.

     Ah well Ill try to say something...

     The roles are varying in degree from relationship to relationship.  We have to define the roles as the relationship plays out.  Some men only like to be active <top> others will like to mostly/only recieve <bottom>.  There is usualy some flux even there.  Its as varried as anything else two men get together for.  From the one extreme "ONLY" do this, to the other "anything anywhere anytime."

     Men have a way of recieving much pleasure being the reciever in ways women don't, for the same activity.  An can get from A to Z doing it.

    For a more graphic introduction try google.  Or maybe someone else can be more....thorough.  Vague I know.

   

Most informative!  A good friend, who works with a gay man, pretty much concurred with your input--that getting from A to Z (for Jack) can happen without extra effort from the top guy (Ennis).  I about wrecked my eyesight trying to see what Jack and Ennis were doing with BOTH of their hands during FNIT!  On some earlier posts, a few people wrote that Jack looked and sounded as if he were in PAIN:  I THINK NOT!  First of all, he was portraying a man who was hammered, totally aroused, and virtually salivating over Ennis from DAY ONE.  Secondly, from my own personal experience, it really doesn't hurt.  Thirdly, some heterosexual liaisons are initially more painful in general...for the woman.  In my opinion, the characters of Jack and Ennis, afterward, would be experiencing EUPHORICTRICITY (a new word {:>).
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Ranchand1 on Aug 27, 2008, 01:51 AM
     Your not alone patty.  I think more then a few wrecked there eyesite on that scene.  Pain oh ya.  But not enough to stop that train from rollin.  Specialy with only slick and spit.  I think thats how Annie described it.

     Would have taken a bear a porcupine and a sack of rattlers to stop them two in that tent on that night.   An a moose thrown in for good measure.

   To far?
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Aug 27, 2008, 07:19 AM
Not to be too personal, but if there are any gay guys or knowledgable straight men or women posting, I have QUESTIONS!  Do roles ever change between partners, from being submissive, to being dominant, within the same relationship (ie., Jack and Ennis)? 

Yes.

Quote
And anatomically speaking, how was Jack satisfied physically if Ennis always served as the dominant partner?  Please don't kick me off this website; I am a bit sex-challenged!

It is a question of recognizing it as a the g-spot, shall we say.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: FlwrChild on Aug 27, 2008, 10:52 AM
Well put, Ranchand and Thomas.

And pattyjean, being top or bottom doesn't necessarily indicate a dominant role in the relationship, only a preference in that particular regard.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Aug 27, 2008, 11:15 AM
Well put, Ranchand and Thomas.

And pattyjean, being top or bottom doesn't necessarily indicate a dominant role in the relationship, only a preference in that particular regard.

I agree,Barbˇ. :clap: IMO,dominant role is more a psychical than a physical question.In this concrete case,Jack was the dominant character in that he took the initiative,in both senses,even if Ennis could be dominant in a more "masculine" way.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 27, 2008, 11:39 AM
Thank you tpe, ranchand, and child:  TYVM for your most informative input!  Now I won't have to Google this topic:  If the Feds ever confiscate my laptop, I would not want THAT Google search showing up!  LOL

Jack's acting ability--gasping, heavy breathing, etc., were typical responses to the high-altitude fireworks, were they not?  So thanks to you three, we can throw out the concern about "discomfort"...for Jack, or anyone else...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Aug 28, 2008, 08:48 AM
Well put, Ranchand and Thomas.

And pattyjean, being top or bottom doesn't necessarily indicate a dominant role in the relationship, only a preference in that particular regard.

I agree,Barbˇ. :clap: IMO,dominant role is more a psychical than a physical question.In this concrete case,Jack was the dominant character in that he took the initiative,in both senses,even if Ennis could be dominant in a more "masculine" way.

I also agree.  That's a pretty good distinction, in fact.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Aug 28, 2008, 08:50 AM
Thank you tpe, ranchand, and child:  TYVM for your most informative input!  Now I won't have to Google this topic:  If the Feds ever confiscate my laptop, I would not want THAT Google search showing up!  LOL

Jack's acting ability--gasping, heavy breathing, etc., were typical responses to the high-altitude fireworks, were they not?  So thanks to you three, we can throw out the concern about "discomfort"...for Jack, or anyone else...

You're welcome, pattyjean!

Actually, it can be discomforting at times.  But one should note that this doesn't necessarily exclude pleasure.  In fact, any discomfort is probably overshadowed by the sense of pleasure, in most instances.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 28, 2008, 08:51 PM
     Your not alone patty.  I think more then a few wrecked there eyesite on that scene.  Pain oh ya.  But not enough to stop that train from rollin.  Specialy with only slick and spit.  I think thats how Annie described it.

     Would have taken a bear a porcupine and a sack of rattlers to stop them two in that tent on that night.   An a moose thrown in for good measure.

   To far?

IMO, not too far at all!  The infinite pleasure experienced by Jack and Ennis undoubtedly won out over the pain! ^f^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: atalley on Aug 28, 2008, 10:01 PM
Loved the porcupine, sack of rattlers and moose illustration Ranchand! ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 29, 2008, 10:36 AM
     Your not alone patty.  I think more then a few wrecked there eyesite on that scene.  Pain oh ya.  But not enough to stop that train from rollin.  Specialy with only slick and spit.  I think thats how Annie described it.

     Would have taken a bear a porcupine and a sack of rattlers to stop them two in that tent on that night.   An a moose thrown in for good measure.

   To far?

Ranchand:  This has got to be the best metaphoric post on this thread!  But I don't think the bear AND the moose would have fit in the tent at the same time:  Maybe one of those critters could have joined Jack and Ennis during SNIT for a high-altitude menage-a-trois!   ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Aug 29, 2008, 10:42 AM
I would have joined them in that night,and I'm not a porcupine nor a bearˇ  >:D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Aug 29, 2008, 11:08 AM
I would have joined them in that night,and I'm not a porcupine nor a bearˇ  >:D
id have joined also... but i hairy like a bear...and well i have a sack and a snake  ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: atalley on Aug 29, 2008, 07:09 PM
ooooooooh! ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Matt Nasty on Aug 29, 2008, 07:12 PM
ooooooooh! ;D
but i dont have the porcupine ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: chameau on Aug 29, 2008, 07:33 PM
If you don't mind Brokies this is going a bit off topic, huh? ???
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 29, 2008, 10:29 PM
If you don't mind Brokies this is going a bit off topic, huh? ???

Loved the "huh?" at the end of your sentence--Ennis used that euphanism when Jack was dismantling the tent in order to "bring 'em down".  Speaking of sexual roles:  In the reunion scene I loved the fact that Ennis was the one to initially proclaim his still burning passion for Jack by initiating that first explosive "best onscreen kiss of 2005"!  It seemed, at first viewing, to be very out of character for Ennis--considering the homophobic childhood he had experienced.  It took great courage for Ennis to throw Jack against the wall, knock his hat off and just plant one!   That sizzling embrace--the thrill of holding Jack again--after four years was more than he could handle!  The fear of discovery he had to hold at bay... :^^)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: atalley on Aug 30, 2008, 10:30 AM
At that point, I don't think courage had anything to do with it.  It was pure testosterone. ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Aug 30, 2008, 11:05 AM
Yeah, Ennis was not thinking in that moment, so he couldn't think about being brave. He was only "feeling". That was not courage but deep love, passion and above all desperation.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Ranchand1 on Aug 30, 2008, 02:31 PM
    Finally his lock found a key...or key found Jack's lock..

    I agree with desperation though.  I feel his need.

   
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 30, 2008, 08:30 PM
If you don't mind Brokies this is going a bit off topic, huh? ???

I still like that "huh?" chameau:  Was that intentional, since Ennis had used it in the movie?  I noticed it right away because you are Canadian, and I would have expected "eh?" instead, which I am inclined to use myself, living near the Canadian border.  This reminds me that the "huh?" preceded the pouting of Ennis sitting on the log and then on the hillside:  His anger at Jack (for reeling him into this heartbreaking intimate situation) boils over after Jack unintentionally gives him a bloody nose with his knee.  He responded with the hard punch, hoping to imply that he was in control!

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: chameau on Aug 30, 2008, 08:39 PM
(off topic) It was intentional and posted on purpose.  ^-^ (end of off topic)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: pattyjean on Aug 30, 2008, 08:57 PM
At that point, I don't think courage had anything to do with it.  It was pure testosterone. ;D

All right, all right--I agree with you!  Love your ID atalley, and I do understand it--as that was one riveting scene!  Even before Ennis ducked into the alley, I felt like I wanted to puke, scream, beat the wall, and sob for days!
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: smartestsonia on Aug 31, 2008, 04:12 AM
Loved the "huh?" at the end of your sentence--Ennis used that euphanism when Jack was dismantling the tent in order to "bring 'em down".  Speaking of sexual roles:  In the reunion scene I loved the fact that Ennis was the one to initially proclaim his still burning passion for Jack by initiating that first explosive "best onscreen kiss of 2005"!  It seemed, at first viewing, to be very out of character for Ennis--considering the homophobic childhood he had experienced.  It took great courage for Ennis to throw Jack against the wall, knock his hat off and just plant one!   That sizzling embrace--the thrill of holding Jack again--after four years was more than he could handle!  The fear of discovery he had to hold at bay... :^^)
so true..his character was living in so much fear..when the reunion after 4 years happened and Ennis met jack after 4 long long years all the feelings came back like a flood in his heart and his heart, mind and body got out of control.,.he just wanted to be impulsive for once in his life and just show jack through his action that how much he loved and missed him..that initiation is just so wonderful..jack too gets so overhelemd when he realizes that Ennis felt the same fire in him for 4 years...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: orangetruck on Oct 21, 2008, 06:40 AM
I still like that "huh?" chameau:  Was that intentional, since Ennis had used it in the movie?  I noticed it right away because you are Canadian, and I would have expected "eh?" instead, which I am inclined to use myself, living near the Canadian border.  This reminds me that the "huh?" preceded the pouting of Ennis sitting on the log and then on the hillside:  His anger at Jack (for reeling him into this heartbreaking intimate situation) boils over after Jack unintentionally gives him a bloody nose with his knee.  He responded with the hard punch, hoping to imply that he was in control!



Nicely put. :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Classic287 on Jan 06, 2009, 11:33 AM
The prostate gland, to be exact......
Yes.

It is a question of recognizing it as a the g-spot, shall we say.


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 06, 2009, 12:57 PM
Well, I just found this thread and love it!  ::) I know what are you thinking, but it's just that I asked myself the same question and had no knowledge how the things are going in physical love between 2 men.

 ??? ??? ???

But few posts in this thread gave me much better picture.... hm...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp186%2Floreent%2Fblushing.gif&hash=11d5a90cf135024a96f7ec48e48e470bbe5e87f2)


Ennis as a virgin took an active role in FNIT, and for him I suppose that was the way things are. Jack so willingly surrendered and let Ennis turn him around. For a guy like Ennis, who did it for the first time, that was the only way of making love that he knew of and he was not able to accept another role.

Anyway, thinking how they completely belonged to each other, how they loved each other and how they were devoted to each other, any kind of lovemaking should be possible, but to imagine Ennis in passive role - I just can't! I don't see him on all his four!

I can leave only a tiny possibility that he could take passive role much much later when he became comfortable about it. But at beginning of their physical relationship - Jack was always passive! IMO, of course.  :)


Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Jan 06, 2009, 01:09 PM
Anyway, thinking how they completely belonged to each other, how they loved each other and how they were devoted to each other, any kind of lovemaking should be possible, but to imagine Ennis in passive role - I just can't! I don't see him on all his four!


 ;D ;D Oh well, there are TONS of other postures that two guys can use to make love (you should read slash... >:D  >:D ). But I get what you are saying. I love Ennis as top and Jack as bottom, and, like you, I believe that in their first lovemakings Jack used to be the passive one. Truth is I often think that Jack was almost always the bottom one, because he accepted his sexuality and he had not as many problems as being gay like Ennis had. But, lots of other brokies think that Ennis often was bottom too. So who knows? We were not there to see what the real deal was, right? Oh yes, we wish!!!  ;D  >:D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 06, 2009, 02:06 PM
;D ;D Oh well, there are TONS of other postures that two guys can use to make love (you should read slash... >:D  >:D ). But I get what you are saying. I love Ennis as top and Jack as bottom, and, like you, I believe that in their first lovemakings Jack used to be the passive one. Truth is I often think that Jack was almost always the bottom one, because he accepted his sexuality and he had not as many problems as being gay like Ennis had. But, lots of other brokies think that Ennis often was bottom too. So who knows? We were not there to see what the real deal was, right? Oh yes, we wish!!!  ;D  >:D

Well,I should obviously inquire better about it!  ::)  ;D

Anyway, maybe it is better that we don't know everything about the story. In that way, we can always use our imagination (like I did in my fanfic  (^) )!!!  #)

But as I said, the way I see it - Ennis was up!  ^-^
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Lobsel-Vith on Jan 07, 2009, 02:24 AM
Well I've never really given it much thought but I had always thought that Jack was the passive while Ennis took the more dominant role. From points in the film, it always seemed that Jack would fit the shoes of the more passive in the relationship. Although I think my point would be sort of counter-balanced by the part where it would appear that Ennis is wanting to be held by Jack indicating that Jack might be the more active one... I'm sure that in relationships like this that even the active one would love to be held from time to time...
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 07, 2009, 03:05 AM
Well I've never really given it much thought but I had always thought that Jack was the passive while Ennis took the more dominant role. From points in the film, it always seemed that Jack would fit the shoes of the more passive in the relationship. Although I think my point would be sort of counter-balanced by the part where it would appear that Ennis is wanting to be held by Jack indicating that Jack might be the more active one... I'm sure that in relationships like this that even the active one would love to be held from time to time...

Lobsel,  #$# aboard!

I agree with you -sure that Ennis needed to be held by Jack, and I even don't see that from time to time. I believe that was regular betwee them. But inspite of being protective and tender with Ennis, Jack still could've been the passive side. I think...  ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 07, 2009, 09:10 AM
The prostate gland, to be exact......

Exactly.  :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 07, 2009, 09:16 AM
Well, I just found this thread and love it!  ::) I know what are you thinking, but it's just that I asked myself the same question and had no knowledge how the things are going in physical love between 2 men.

 ??? ??? ???

But few posts in this thread gave me much better picture.... hm...
(https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp186%2Floreent%2Fblushing.gif&hash=11d5a90cf135024a96f7ec48e48e470bbe5e87f2)


Ennis as a virgin took an active role in FNIT, and for him I suppose that was the way things are. Jack so willingly surrendered and let Ennis turn him around. For a guy like Ennis, who did it for the first time, that was the only way of making love that he knew of and he was not able to accept another role.

Anyway, thinking how they completely belonged to each other, how they loved each other and how they were devoted to each other, any kind of lovemaking should be possible, but to imagine Ennis in passive role - I just can't! I don't see him on all his four!

I can leave only a tiny possibility that he could take passive role much much later when he became comfortable about it. But at beginning of their physical relationship - Jack was always passive! IMO, of course.  :)

 ;D  Well, I can imagine Ennis in a passive role, although I admit that I am probably in the minority here.  ;)

Incidentally, there was a study done on gay sexual partners long ago.  One interesting thing noted was that in a lot of relationships where there was clearly a "dominant", more outspoken, or older partner, it was this partner who liked to play passive.  I found it quite curious until I began to observe the phenomenon in real life.  I am not saying that it is always the case, but the study nothes that it is more common that people suppose it to be...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 07, 2009, 09:22 AM
Well I've never really given it much thought but I had always thought that Jack was the passive while Ennis took the more dominant role. From points in the film, it always seemed that Jack would fit the shoes of the more passive in the relationship. Although I think my point would be sort of counter-balanced by the part where it would appear that Ennis is wanting to be held by Jack indicating that Jack might be the more active one... I'm sure that in relationships like this that even the active one would love to be held from time to time...

Welcome, Lobsel-Vith!

Your POV is certainly shared by many here, although I too noted the motel scene posture. 

Now, the question I pose to a number of you is this: even if there is a preferred role in the case of either partner, would you consider it possible/probable that they would sometimes switch roles?  This is much more common than people think...  You see such a scene in the recent French film, Les Témoins, which was presented in a way that I actually found quite typical -- when an older partner wants to please the younger and does this as a show of confidence/love.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0487273/

 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: myprivatejack on Jan 07, 2009, 02:05 PM
Welcome, Lobsel-Vith!

Your POV is certainly shared by many here, although I too noted the motel scene posture. 

Now, the question I pose to a number of you is this: even if there is a preferred role in the case of either partner, would you consider it possible/probable that they would sometimes switch roles?  This is much more common than people think...  You see such a scene in the recent French film, Les Témoins, which was presented in a way that I actually found quite typical -- when an older partner wants to please the younger and does this as a show of confidence/love.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0487273/
Yes,it can be...As a matter of fact,I was going to talk about the possibility of switching roles as a way for Ennis to show his wish to please Jack,and,as a result of this,his love for him.Even if I said in a former post that in the beginning of their sexual relationships and sometimes,when routine "weighed" a little more,Ennis sense of masculinity wouldn't allow him to be the passive so easily.But I also added that surely in SNIT,bearing in mind the circumstances,was more than possible that Ennis "lowered his guard",and IMO this could be applied to many other moments,why not?.Surely it wasn't Ennis favorite posture,and surely if he did it or not doesn't matter so much,because Jack,in the end,was really the "active and dominant"in their relationship-not necessarily in a physical sense...-.But more surely still,there was his love for Jack,and when things are like that,there're no rules.Just the rule of love.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 07, 2009, 02:23 PM
;D  Well, I can imagine Ennis in a passive role, although I admit that I am probably in the minority here.  ;)

Incidentally, there was a study done on gay sexual partners long ago.  One interesting thing noted was that in a lot of relationships where there was clearly a "dominant", more outspoken, or older partner, it was this partner who liked to play passive.   I found it quite curious until I began to observe the phenomenon in real life.  I am not saying that it is always the case, but the study nothes that it is more common that people suppose it to be...


If I understood correctly tpe, you say that dominant partner is surprisingly more likely to be a passive side. If so, isn't it the case with Jack ad Ennis. Jack was the one who initiated their relationship, he was the one who always console Ennis, who was more open to every aspect of their relationship. Also, he is the one who held Ennis in Motel, he is more promiscues... I see him in a way as a more dominant in psychological side.

But as I said, I can leave a tiny possibility for swapping position in later relationship.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Jan 07, 2009, 04:55 PM
I think it was a matter of control with Ennis. I don't know (scratching head) In FNIT he was making sure that he was the one in control flipping Jack over like that. He also did it with Alma .  I have no doubt that some "dominant" men switch roles sexually , but it depends on each indepenent couple In this case  I feel it gives some insight into Ennis's preferred role. To be on top, He is "dominant in all other aspects of he and Jack's relationship because of the way he felt about  himself being with Jack. He made all the rules  outside of sex. I have no reason yet why he would relinquish it during sex. As Loreen said ...Ennis on "all fours"? Sorry I still don't see him doing it. I also feel that Jack preferred it that way too. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's just my opinion. Thanx
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: babytammy7 on Jan 07, 2009, 06:26 PM
Agree, AF, yes sir.  ^f^ I'm a bottom!Jack's girl all the way. But, like I said before, a good bunch of other brokies think that Ennis was often bottom too. I respect them. Once I almost got kicked because I was WAY too much pretty sure that Ennis was only top and top and top.  ;D ;D ;D Now I see that it could be the other way around too. I still think that Jack was the bottom one, but, like I said to Loreen, we don't know for sure. The SS and the script have not even a line about their sexual preferences beyond FNIT. So I think that in our fantasies (yeeessss, I have fantasies about it.... ::)  >:D ) it can be whatever way we think they liked it. That way we all are happy.   <^( <^(


[size=06pt]Me with my top Ennis and bottom Jack.[/size] 
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: manhattangirl on Jan 07, 2009, 08:30 PM
Can I put my two cents in?  I can understand what loreen is saying,   I think Jack top from the bottom. It can be hard to determine in any relationship,  hetero or gay relationships, the dominant and passive roles. It can be so intimate, and can be surprisingly tricky  if just looked at from the surface.   JMO
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: Lobsel-Vith on Jan 07, 2009, 10:18 PM
Welcome, Lobsel-Vith!

Your POV is certainly shared by many here, although I too noted the motel scene posture. 

Now, the question I pose to a number of you is this: even if there is a preferred role in the case of either partner, would you consider it possible/probable that they would sometimes switch roles?  This is much more common than people think...  You see such a scene in the recent French film, Les Témoins, which was presented in a way that I actually found quite typical -- when an older partner wants to please the younger and does this as a show of confidence/love.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0487273/

 

I'm sure it's fully possible that they would, I think. I mean the last scene that they were together Jack was taking care of Ennis in a way that would appear dominant... I wouldn't doubt the possibility that they would change roles.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: aintfoolin on Jan 08, 2009, 04:04 AM
Agree, AF, yes sir.  ^f^ I'm a bottom!Jack's girl all the way. But, like I said before, a good bunch of other brokies think that Ennis was often bottom too. I respect them. Once I almost got kicked because I was WAY too much pretty sure that Ennis was only top and top and top.  ;D ;D ;D Now I see that it could be the other way around too. I still think that Jack was the bottom one, but, like I said to Loreen, we don't know for sure. The SS and the script have not even a line about their sexual preferences beyond FNIT. So I think that in our fantasies (yeeessss, I have fantasies about it.... ::)  >:D ) it can be whatever way we think they liked it. That way we all are happy.   <^( <^(


[size=06pt]Me with my top Ennis and bottom Jack.[/size] 

No one knows for sure , your right Baby Tammy. All opinions/perspectives  should be respected  and I do respect them too.

And yes, we have our fantasies, oooh boy do we, but to me , it's what Ennis felt in his  mind. Some say the mind is the greatest aphrodisiac.  IMO, who and how he  sees himself  or the way he wanted Jack to see him can blend  over into sexuality. Thought of himself as straight, masculine and yes, dominant. But  when it comes to sex, with Jack  it was such a deeply  personal act. Ennis or Jack can be whatever "role" they want to be in their minds.right? "riding more than bulls" can be percieved as Jack being *top* or *bottom* depending on the position.. Then " must be all that time a'horseback" can also make Ennis *top* or *bottom*. Depends on who's doing what.  It really does not matter which is thought of as the *dominant" one or the "passive" one for the mere words "top or "bottom" can belie/ contradict  their meanings on the surface.

The only thing  absolutly clear is that someone was riding someone. That, I will leave to those *spicy* fantasies you spoke of Baby Tammy, those "brilliant couplings" Loreen has posted below her opinions. <^( (t)  I bet they were both good lovers and we all have our preference. I'm an "Ennis is all That" girl and I find him definitly always on top of the mountains....oops ,...mountain. ;) ;) :)  >:D  My take.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 08, 2009, 04:55 AM
 ;D ;D ;D

I'll think later about the reply ... if any!

Now I just enjoy the thread from the bottom to the top and all the way back!  ;)

 #) #) #)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 08, 2009, 09:28 AM
I'm sure it's fully possible that they would, I think. I mean the last scene that they were together Jack was taking care of Ennis in a way that would appear dominant... I wouldn't doubt the possibility that they would change roles.

I too think it quite possible.  To be sure, I have also known people who will not consider another sexual role than that which they are used to...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 08, 2009, 10:00 AM
Yes,it can be...As a matter of fact,I was going to talk about the possibility of switching roles as a way for Ennis to show his wish to please Jack,and,as a result of this,his love for him.Even if I said in a former post that in the beginning of their sexual relationships and sometimes,when routine "weighed" a little more,Ennis sense of masculinity wouldn't allow him to be the passive so easily.But I also added that surely in SNIT,bearing in mind the circumstances,was more than possible that Ennis "lowered his guard",and IMO this could be applied to many other moments,why not?.Surely it wasn't Ennis favorite posture,and surely if he did it or not doesn't matter so much,because Jack,in the end,was really the "active and dominant"in their relationship-not necessarily in a physical sense...-.But more surely still,there was his love for Jack,and when things are like that,there're no rules.Just the rule of love.

It's quite interesting that to me also, jack seemed to have been -- outwardly -- the active one, and Ennis the passive one.  But sexual roles are certainly a different thing altogether. 

Certainly, there are no hard and fast rules save those that love dictates.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 08, 2009, 10:06 AM
If I understood correctly tpe, you say that dominant partner is surprisingly more likely to be a passive side. If so, isn't it the case with Jack ad Ennis. Jack was the one who initiated their relationship, he was the one who always console Ennis, who was more open to every aspect of their relationship. Also, he is the one who held Ennis in Motel, he is more promiscues... I see him in a way as a more dominant in psychological side.

But as I said, I can leave a tiny possibility for swapping position in later relationship.


Yes.  As I said in response to MPJs post, we can read it this way.  It depends on how we read Jack and Ennis.  To some of us, we see Jack as the softer side of the relationship, while Ennis ias the more rugged, the more masculine one.  But outwardly, we can also see Jack as the more outwardly active one.   

I don't want to make stereotypes, but Ennis fits more the "strong silent type" image, and in this sense, we can also think of him as the dominant side of the relationship.

No hard and fast rules, to be sure...



Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 08, 2009, 10:14 AM
I think it was a matter of control with Ennis. I don't know (scratching head) In FNIT he was making sure that he was the one in control flipping Jack over like that. He also did it with Alma .  I have no doubt that some "dominant" men switch roles sexually , but it depends on each indepenent couple In this case  I feel it gives some insight into Ennis's preferred role. To be on top, He is "dominant in all other aspects of he and Jack's relationship because of the way he felt about  himself being with Jack. He made all the rules  outside of sex. I have no reason yet why he would relinquish it during sex. As Loreen said ...Ennis on "all fours"? Sorry I still don't see him doing it. I also feel that Jack preferred it that way too. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's just my opinion. Thanx

Yes, I think almost all of us here would probably agree with Ennis's preferred sexual role.  Your point is good.  Certainly, I think in terms of many things outside of sex, it was Ennis who made the rules. 

Still, my point is that in some of the studies I had mentioned, the people who seemingly made the rules (as is usually the case with an older partner with a younger man) surprisingly didn't necessarily assume the active role, sexually speaking.  I am not saying that the stufy claimed this to be true all the time.  I think the study showed this as a surprising reult -- something that was not expected.

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 08, 2009, 10:16 AM
Can I put my two cents in?  I can understand what loreen is saying,   I think Jack top from the bottom. It can be hard to determine in any relationship,  hetero or gay relationships, the dominant and passive roles. It can be so intimate, and can be surprisingly tricky  if just looked at from the surface.   JMO

Yes, I also think this was what loreen implied in her previous post.

Again, in that study I mentioned,  it is all about perception -- on who was considered the "dominant" partner (in this case, the older one who had more control in terms of finances and emotional stability, etc.)

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: atalley on Jan 08, 2009, 11:00 PM
I think the Motel scene gives us some insight into the possibility that Ennis might be willing to bottom.  (I can't believe I'm discussing this).   ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 09, 2009, 04:14 AM
I think the Motel scene gives us some insight into the possibility that Ennis might be willing to bottom.  (I can't believe I'm discussing this).   ::)


 #)

 ;D ;D ;D

Atalley, you're funny! But I completely understand how you feel!! (https://ennisjack.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi410.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fpp186%2Floreent%2Fbrows.gif&hash=07a0c904d6ba6fc8ef2a98fbad19fa213b6d91e9)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 09, 2009, 08:37 AM
I think the Motel scene gives us some insight into the possibility that Ennis might be willing to bottom.  (I can't believe I'm discussing this).   ::)

 ;D  And why not?  :)

I feel the same way.  I know that all this is circumstantial/speculative, but it is something I pretty much associate with what I have observed in reality...

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 09, 2009, 09:03 AM
;D  And why not?  :)

I feel the same way.  I know that all this is circumstantial/speculative, but it is something I pretty much associate with what I have observed in reality...


Tpe, this is just it! Not all of us are not associated with it and haven't observed it in reality, but somehow it became a vivid part of out life that we are seriously discusing about!    #) %&)


 :)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 09, 2009, 09:09 AM
Tpe, this is just it! Not all of us are not associated with it and haven't observed it in reality, but somehow it became a vivid part of out life that we are seriously discusing about!    #) %&)
 :)

I should qualify however that not everything is reducible to our own unique experiences, so to say otherwise is also valid.  In the end, it is probably a case by case basis.  But what I said simply suggests a reason why I thought the way I did.  :)

Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 09, 2009, 09:09 AM
Yes, I also think this was what loreen implied in her previous post.

Again, in that study I mentioned,  it is all about perception -- on who was considered the "dominant" partner (in this case, the older one who had more control in terms of finances and emotional stability, etc.)


Well, I also see here that in your mind Ennis could be the dominant (but also passive) partner, cos it's him who always set the rules between them.... that's tricky I have to admit.  :s)

Either way, there's no right answer, just our personal anticipation of their relationship.

One way or the other, up or down, I am sure as he**, they enjoyed it!  ::)
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 09, 2009, 09:13 AM
Well, I also see here that in your mind Ennis could be the dominant (but also passive) partner, cos it's him who always set the rules between them.... that's tricky I have to admit.  :s)

Either way, there's no right answer, just our personal anticipation of their relationship.

One way or the other, up or down, I am sure as he**, they enjoyed it!  ::)


That's why I have always complained that Ennis is just too complicated.   ;D

I think FNIT colors our perception that Ennis was the sexually dominant partner.  I think the scene with Alma reinforces it.  And Proulx's comment in the ss that it was Ennis's favorite way of contraception could be interpreted to support this view.  But people could in real life be more flexible, especially with a partner they are truly comfortable with...  But is this the case with Ennis?  That's the question.
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 09, 2009, 09:14 AM
I should qualify however that not everything is reducible to our own unique experiences, so to say otherwise is also valid.  In the end, it is probably a case by case basis.  But what I said simply suggests a reason why I thought the way I did.  :)



I think I understood your point of view correctly   :) , but you also have to bear in mind that some of us have had no previous knowledge about this matter whatsoever. As I once said, for me it was the first time to saw 2 men kissing! Not to mention the rest...  (^)  ::)
 
 ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 09, 2009, 09:16 AM
I think I understood your point of view correctly   :) , but you also have to bare in mind that some of us have had no previous knowledge about this matter whatsoever. As I once said, for me it was the first time to saw 2 men kissing! Not to mention the rest...  (^)  ::)
 
 ;D

OK.  But I should add that being unbiased ("virgin") about things can also help as much as it can limit...  :)



Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: vedrana on Jan 10, 2009, 11:30 AM
OK.  But I should add that being unbiased ("virgin") about things can also help as much as it can limit...  :)



Considering my time consuming investigations around the thread about some facts  #) , I am not so sure that absence of the knowledge in this matter can be helpful.

But apparently all of us can only say what we think and feel, and in the end - no one knows for sure.

Though, it would be nice if we could have had a little peek, just to be sure  ....  ::)  #)  #)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sexual Roles in SNIT and Other BBM Sex Scenes
Post by: tpe on Jan 12, 2009, 10:37 AM
Considering my time consuming investigations around the thread about some facts  #) , I am not so sure that absence of the knowledge in this matter can be helpful.

But apparently all of us can only say what we think and feel, and in the end - no one knows for sure.

Though, it would be nice if we could have had a little peek, just to be sure  ....  ::)  #)  #)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D  Actually, I find insights into how the members here view the sexual roles to be just as good as having a "peek", shall we say.  :)