Topic: Can you have good sex. . .

[*Froggy*]

LOL!  Someone has been watching too many American movies.  LOL!!  "I love you" the universal language.

<OT>

no no no..it's because I only speak English to her...she is learning English and believes that its my language..so she asks for me to speak english ..
whenever she can, she uses English to answer back.

[Patriot1]

                                                               

no no no..it's because I only speak English to her...she is learning English and believes that its my language..so she asks for me to speak english ..
whenever she can, she uses English to answer back.

Oh! I see. Sometimes takes this old brain a while to kick in.  LOL

[JerBear418720]

Commenting on open relationships, yes, they can work, as long as both partners are happy with the terms they negotiate.  Happy is the operative word.  I know several long-term non-monogamous gay couples who are happy as clams.

I was IN a non-monogamous relationship for 3 years.  My partner at the time enjoyed recreational sex and absolutely could indulge that while remaining emotionally faithful to me.  Our 2 rules were that he only did this when I was out of town (which was often, on business), and that unprotected "adventures" were completely out of the question.

Had he ever been deceitful or dishonest about the arrangement, I'd have brained him.  The freedom he had made it unnecessary for him to lie, and we loved each other dearly.  It worked for us - all couples are different.

[Troy]

Translated to English don't they mean "I love you"? 

Yes it does.

I'll try and explain myself ...

It does mean the same but because French is my mother tongue it is a lot more meaningful...I love you vs Je t'aime? ...well it just isn't the same...

I live abroad (as in not in France)...I do not get to use my mother tongue on a daily basis. (I know I teach French to kids, its not the same French!)
Anyway...some things are a lot more precious...People usually have things they tell their loved ones...little words, nicknames, private things, private jokes even.

To me, being able to say "I love you" in French...well it's almost sacred...I love you..I say it every day to my laptop when it's working! LOL!
Je t'aime...that's special...private...beautiful

It is very difficult to explain...that's just how it is...if you don't understand, don't worry. Just know that to me, saying "Je t'aime" means a lot.

Thats just because French is associated in your brain with all your deepest emotions as they first occurred when you were learning French and also because you used French to express those emotions.

But I think French in itself also is far more romantic sounding than English. Listen to the same love song in French and English-- a huge difference in how romantic they sound. You can say practically anything in good French and it sounds like you're saying Je t'aime. I loved Celine Dion in French, cant stand her since she went English, sounds like crap.

[Patriot1]

Translated to English don't they mean "I love you"? 

Yes it does.

I'll try and explain myself ...

It does mean the same but because French is my mother tongue it is a lot more meaningful...I love you vs Je t'aime? ...well it just isn't the same...

I live abroad (as in not in France)...I do not get to use my mother tongue on a daily basis. (I know I teach French to kids, its not the same French!)
Anyway...some things are a lot more precious...People usually have things they tell their loved ones...little words, nicknames, private things, private jokes even.

To me, being able to say "I love you" in French...well it's almost sacred...I love you..I say it every day to my laptop when it's working! LOL!
Je t'aime...that's special...private...beautiful

It is very difficult to explain...that's just how it is...if you don't understand, don't worry. Just know that to me, saying "Je t'aime" means a lot.

Thats just because French is associated in your brain with all your deepest emotions as they first occurred when you were learning French and also because you used French to express those emotions.

But I think French in itself also is far more romantic sounding than English. Listen to the same love song in French and English-- a huge difference in how romantic they sound. You can say practically anything in good French and it sounds like you're saying Je t'aime. I loved Celine Dion in French, cant stand her since she went English, sounds like crap.

My bad! I helped get my thread...   

[n061857]

As previously stated by others,  I think Alma was in denial.  Maybe she was trying to convince herself that the affair was not true, that she had not seen what she had seen, that Ennis really still loved her or that he just didn't love Jack that much.  The fact that they still had a sexual relationship could have confirmed any of these ideas in her own mind.  When Ennis finally slaps her in the face with his lack of need for sex from her anymore, she can deny it no longer.  That is when she files for divorce. 

[rod1960]

Jerbear, did you have unprotected sex with him after he was out and about with other men??

[Ginevra]

Finding out that a lover was having sex elsewhere has always been unbearable for me. Nothing like it to wipe out any trace of appetite for sex with someone who was "cheating".

totally agreed, Stephen. Being cheated on is as devastating as a catastrophic earthquake on a building. Demotition is the only remedy, IMO.


 

Recreational sex, though, is another story. in tha case, it's the opposite, sort of. Getting too attached to a "toy boy" also kills the appetite. I'm complicated, I know.

I don't know what "recreational sex" is. Cannot have sex without being attached. Very. I'm old fashioned, I know.....

[JerBear418720]

Jerbear, did you have unprotected sex with him after he was out and about with other men??

Yes, I did.  Unprotected sex was something special reserved just for us, and I never worried that he would do it with one of his "play partners".  The day we negotiated this, I told him flat out that I was literally entrusting him with my life - the look I got back reassured me that I would never hafta worry about the agreement being violated.  He was young and attractive and I loved him enuff not to want to imprison him.

I would definitely not recommend this approach to anybody else.  It just happened to work for me and my partner in this particular relationship.  This is not a pattern for me.  To other forum members, I would say PLAY SAFE ONLY.

JB 

[tpe]

Jerbear, did you have unprotected sex with him after he was out and about with other men??

Yes, I did.  Unprotected sex was something special reserved just for us, and I never worried that he would do it with one of his "play partners".  The day we negotiated this, I told him flat out that I was literally entrusting him with my life - the look I got back reassured me that I would never hafta worry about the agreement being violated.  He was young and attractive and I loved him enuff not to want to imprison him.

I would definitely not recommend this approach to anybody else.  It just happened to work for me and my partner in this particular relationship.  This is not a pattern for me.  To other forum members, I would say PLAY SAFE ONLY.

JB 

It is certainly a case by case basis.  Thanks for sharing, JerBear418720.