Topic: The remembered embrace, and "shared, sexless hunger..."

[proulxfan]

The emotional highpoint of the story and film for me, and from what I've seen and heard, for many other fans as well, is where Ennis embraces Jack from behind in front of the campfire, and hums fragments of a childhood lullabye. Both the short story and screenplay describe this as the result of Jack and Ennis's "shared, sexless hunger", and I wonder a bit about that phrase. I agree that this embrace is not done with either of them thinking or wanting it to lead to any kind of sexual activity, but as I ponder the significance of this scene and the wonderful shots of it from varying camera distances and angles, I find myself realizing that for me, if you change the gender of either of the two participants, it is not the same, and doesn't have the same resonance. I believe that many of us fantasize about giving and/or receiving just such an embrace, and I pose the question: if the gender of the other person in your "fantasy" is switched from the one to which you are sexually attracted-if you are attracted primarily to one or the other-does the embrace "feel" the same to you? In other words, is it in fact, "sexless" or is there some element of subconscious desire there? Any thoughts??

[tpe]

The emotional highpoint of the story and film for me, and from what I've seen and heard, for many other fans as well, is where Ennis embraces Jack from behind in front of the campfire, and hums fragments of a childhood lullabye. Both the short story and screenplay describe this as the result of Jack and Ennis's "shared, sexless hunger", and I wonder a bit about that phrase. I agree that this embrace is not done with either of them thinking or wanting it to lead to any kind of sexual activity, but as I ponder the significance of this scene and the wonderful shots of it from varying camera distances and angles, I find myself realizing that for me, if you change the gender of either of the two participants, it is not the same, and doesn't have the same resonance. I believe that many of us fantasize about giving and/or receiving just such an embrace, and I pose the question: if the gender of the other person in your "fantasy" is switched from the one to which you are sexually attracted-if you are attracted primarily to one or the other-does the embrace "feel" the same to you? In other words, is it in fact, "sexless" or is there some element of subconscious desire there? Any thoughts??

Beautifully put.

I think it is not really a question of desire.  It is the sense of what makes you complete -- what makes you whole.

When you live with someone you have loved seemingly forever, the sexual nature of the relationship becomes almost secondary.   It is the power of being with someone you love and feel intrinsically a part of.   Subconscious desire is always there, but it recedes into the background. 

There is a reason you can love someone who is not related by blood.  The embrace of a mother or father is an affirmation of a bond that can never be erased.  But to embrace the beloved without cause or necessity except by one's own freely-given volition -- that is indeed a gift worthy of eternity.

Perhaps in the case of very special friendships (where there is indeed no sexual attraction) such an embrace is possible.  But in the relationship that makes one whole -- the question becomes: how can you not?

[christie wood]

The emotional highpoint of the story and film for me, and from what I've seen and heard, for many other fans as well, is where Ennis embraces Jack from behind in front of the campfire, and hums fragments of a childhood lullabye. Both the short story and screenplay describe this as the result of Jack and Ennis's "shared, sexless hunger", and I wonder a bit about that phrase. I agree that this embrace is not done with either of them thinking or wanting it to lead to any kind of sexual activity, but as I ponder the significance of this scene and the wonderful shots of it from varying camera distances and angles, I find myself realizing that for me, if you change the gender of either of the two participants, it is not the same, and doesn't have the same resonance. I believe that many of us fantasize about giving and/or receiving just such an embrace, and I pose the question: if the gender of the other person in your "fantasy" is switched from the one to which you are sexually attracted-if you are attracted primarily to one or the other-does the embrace "feel" the same to you? In other words, is it in fact, "sexless" or is there some element of subconscious desire there? Any thoughts??

Hi proulxfan

What a great post! 

I took the word sexless in this context to mean that this embrace was to do with love, not lust, and Ennis wanting to hold Jack and be near him, feel him, hear him breathe, touch him, and love him.  And for me, this whole scene depicts Ennis's love for Jack perfectly and so, so beautifully.

I agree with you about the different camera angles, love the way it starts from the fire up, you see Jack's legs, then see Ennis walking up behind him, and the grabbing him from behind.  And then when it pans out to show the whole camp, with the horse grazing lazily beside them, and you see Ennis and Jack, Jack being held by Ennis, and no words are needed.  Such a beautiful, beautiful, heartbreaking scene.

I also agree that we all fantasise about being held like this and I do think that that "subconscious desire" you describe would be there, but that does not automatically mean that you would want to do anything about it at that precise moment. I think both Ennis and Jack were happy in that state of understanding - they knew they loved each other, were sexually attracted to each other - but sometimes being embraced in this way is more powerful than anything sexual you can ever experience.  I think this embrace transends all you can ever imagine what love is, because you see that in their eyes (especially Jack's as Ennis rides away) and in the way Ennis speaks to Jack - the most loving, tender, and caring Ennis ever was with Jack.

I seem to have gone off on a tangent here, sorry, but this film has this affect on me!