Author Topic: Ennis breaking down in alleyway after leaving Jack (Read 165751 times)

Lost_Girl · « **Reply #30 on:** Apr 05, 2006, 10:11 AM »

"That summer," said Ennis. "When we split up after we got paid out I had gut cramps so bad I pulled over and tried to puke, thought I ate somethin bad at that place in Dubois. Took me about a year a figure out it was that I shouldn't a let you out a my sights. Too late then by a long, long while."

christie wood · « **Reply #31 on:** Apr 05, 2006, 04:48 PM »

Quote from: Lost_Girl on Apr 05, 2006, 09:44 AM

I just LOVE this scene, and no I'm not sadist. I think it's very beautiful scene, very powerfull, but it's also one of the most sadest scene in the whole movie.

This scene can be interpreted in several differents ways ; it depends of our opinion or feelings.
For me, it’s a very touching scene, for its "mise en scene" and for its symbolism.

This scene is violent, yes violent, the feelings that he feels his hurts, and he expresses by striking this wall, which hides him, he collapses all alone. He's irritated, his fury, he feels almost hate. Why? For whom? For everything, for nothing. For somebody, for a feeling, for a fear.

He collapses alone and hidden, but when a man come by, he is ready to fight. I think, here are all the power of this scene, it is only the beginning of the film and nevertheless it's almost possible to see the end. Ennis's life, will be always like that? Happy moments and then the sad moments, but always hidden? Always ready to fight, against himself, more than against the others. Open then close.

And nevertheless at the beginning of the film Ennis collapses alone hidden by a wall, and at the end of the film he also collapses, but this time in spite of the violent reaction, he's not alone any more, and he doesn't hide for some moments. "I can't stand it anymore."

Me either...

Ps: It's very hard for me to explain clearly , what I think or feel about this scene, and I'm sorry about that. (English don't help! lol)

Oh Lost-girl, what you have written about that scene is so beautifully explained, and the fact that english is not your first language really makes it all the more amazing.

I totally agree with you that this scene is violent, but it is a combination of a whole range of feelings that are raging inside of Ennis. I heard that some people were confused about this scene, not sure if Ennis had collapsed because he was disgusted with himself or because he couldn't handle being parted from Jack. For me, it is perfectly clear. Ennis is fighting against himself, because he doesn't want to have these feelings for Jack - they may have been ok up on Brokeback,where they were together alone and able to be themselves - but they are certainly not ok back in the real world, where he is heading. But he DOES have these feelings for Jack - he is in love with Jack - and they have had to part when he wasn't ready to, he wasn't ready to say goodbye to Jack. But he has no control over this situation, and has to leave. The breakdown comes when he can no longer physically hold himself up against the strongest feelings he's ever had for another human being - but he wishes he didn't have these feelings, and I think that's partly why he hits the wall, and also out of frustration for not being able to say what he felt to Jack. It's all a horrible sad mess and he just doesn't know what to do.

The stifled sob you hear after he hits the wall just gets to me each time I see this scene. The sob seems to get louder each time I hear it! And then he just gives up and slides down the wall and stays there.

I always wish Jack drives back and finds Ennis and comforts him. But it's not to be. :'( :'(

christie wood · « **Reply #32 on:** Apr 05, 2006, 04:48 PM »

Quote from: Lost_Girl on Apr 05, 2006, 10:11 AM

"That summer," said Ennis. "When we split up after we got paid out I had gut cramps so bad I pulled over and tried to puke, thought I ate somethin bad at that place in Dubois. Took me about a year a figure out it was that I shouldn't a let you out a my sights. Too late then by a long, long while."

Why didn't Ennis say that in the motel room? WHY?

??

coguaro · « **Reply #33 on:** Apr 05, 2006, 07:21 PM »

thats is one of the most touching scene of the film which cut the unique, intense experience with Jack and throw Ennis again in his reality; in fact after breaking down the scene of Ennis/Alma marriage start, the preconstituted Ennis life recommences.
The breaking down scene also exprimes the stronger Ennis way to feel... he is enable to exprimes with word his feelings and he somatize that transforming his feelings in a physical, intense, manifstation....

coguaro

Ginevra · « **Reply #34 on:** Apr 06, 2006, 08:36 AM »

Definitely one of the most powerful scenes in the movie and one of my favs as well.
Ledger is absolutely amazing here (but where is he not?

). The scene is also one of the most intense tributes Ennis unwillingly gives to his love for Jack.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

shieldmaid · « **Reply #35 on:** Apr 06, 2006, 09:01 AM »

Quote from: Ginevra on Apr 06, 2006, 08:36 AM

Definitely one of the most powerful scenes in the movie and one of my favs as well.
Ledger is absolutely amazing here (but where is he not? ). The scene is also one of the most intense tributes Ennis unwillingly gives to his love for Jack.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I absolutely agree. One of the things that's interesting to me about the movie version vs. the short story is that the filmmakers chose not to include Ennis's confession to Jack that he realized a year later than his breakdown meant he "never shoulda let you out of my sights." If Ennis had only said that to Jack in the motel room . . . perhaps Jack would have gotten a clearer sense of Ennis's love for him. But alas, only we the viewers know. I too LOVE this scene. How did Ledger manage to convey such powerful emotion in such a sudden shift of gears? From 0 to sobbing/almost vomiting in less than 60 seconds . . . . Wow.

christie wood · « **Reply #36 on:** Apr 06, 2006, 03:50 PM »

Quote from: shieldmaid on Apr 06, 2006, 09:01 AM

Quote from: Ginevra on Apr 06, 2006, 08:36 AM
Definitely one of the most powerful scenes in the movie and one of my favs as well.
Ledger is absolutely amazing here (but where is he not? ). The scene is also one of the most intense tributes Ennis unwillingly gives to his love for Jack.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I absolutely agree. One of the things that's interesting to me about the movie version vs. the short story is that the filmmakers chose not to include Ennis's confession to Jack that he realized a year later than his breakdown meant he "never shoulda let you out of my sights." If Ennis had only said that to Jack in the motel room . . . perhaps Jack would have gotten a clearer sense of Ennis's love for him. But alas, only we the viewers know. I too LOVE this scene. How did Ledger manage to convey such powerful emotion in such a sudden shift of gears? From 0 to sobbing/almost vomiting in less than 60 seconds . . . . Wow.

I know, how did he do that? He was just fantastic......he got me as soon as he began to breakdown, one hand on stomach, and one hand on wall, not knowing what was happening to him. And do you notice how he still has the awareness of other people seeing him, by using his hat as a shield? But he still couldn't stop the shouts coming, or the fists flying, or the sobs breaking his heart......I will never get sick of talking about this scene, never!

donnaread · « **Reply #37 on:** Apr 10, 2006, 03:12 PM »

Quote from: tpe on Feb 01, 2006, 09:52 AM

The screenplay also notes that in this scene, Ennis bloodies his knuckles by punching the wall. Ledger did this with such realism and emotion -- it was hard NOT to assume that he DID in real life bloody his knuckles...

Heath was probably punching foam. I'm sure they added the sound later. Donna

Patriot1 · « **Reply #38 on:** Apr 10, 2006, 04:06 PM »

Quote from: donnaread on Apr 10, 2006, 03:12 PM

Quote from: tpe on Feb 01, 2006, 09:52 AM
The screenplay also notes that in this scene, Ennis bloodies his knuckles by punching the wall. Ledger did this with such realism and emotion -- it was hard NOT to assume that he DID in real life bloody his knuckles...
Heath was probably punching foam. I'm sure they added the sound later. Donna

Yes. I can not imagine them running the risk of Heath breaking his hand by hitting the wall. But, because I like details, I keep watching for the wall to give a little and it doesn't. Might have used styrofoam?

n061857 · « **Reply #39 on:** Apr 12, 2006, 12:17 AM »

I would have to go back to my screenplay, but there was some discussion about why the admission of Ennis to Jack about his breakdown in the alleyway was omitted from the hotel scene. I think Ange Lee felt more weight would be given to later scenes in which Ennis demonstrates his love by not revealing this sooner. He felt this was a pivotal admission, that should come later in the film.

Anyone feel free to correct me, if I am wrong. It is late at night and I am relying on a weary memory.

NoReins · « **Reply #40 on:** Apr 18, 2006, 04:15 PM »

Yeah, I wish they hadn't omitted Ennis's confession about his gut cramps too....but maybe it would have felt wrong for "movie Ennis" to say something like that when the rest of the time he says so little?

"Story Ennis" is much more talkative about his feelings. There's times when I really wish some of the other dialogue from the story had been included - things like the "I like doin' it with women but, Jesus H, ain't nothin' like this" line and, of course, "I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin' about you" (man, I would love to hear Heath say that line

) but Heath does such an amazing job at conveying his thoughts and emotions with his face and eyes that maybe it doesn't matter too much.

Not sure about Ang Lee's thoughts about Ennis demonstrating his love in later scenes, mind - the most powerful demonstration of Ennis's love comes in the reunion kiss, which takes place before the motel scene and I can't think of anywhere later in the film where Ennis admits his feelings???

Don't suppose anyone knows if they actually filmed any more of the motel scene and then cut it?

christie wood · « **Reply #41 on:** Apr 18, 2006, 04:24 PM »

Quote from: NoReins on Apr 18, 2006, 04:15 PM

Yeah, I wish they hadn't omitted Ennis's confession about his gut cramps too....but maybe it would have felt wrong for "movie Ennis" to say something like that when the rest of the time he says so little?

"Story Ennis" is much more talkative about his feelings. There's times when I really wish some of the other dialogue from the story had been included - things like the "I like doin' it with women but, Jesus H, ain't nothin' like this" line and, of course, "I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin' about you" (man, I would love to hear Heath say that line ) but Heath does such an amazing job at conveying his thoughts and emotions with his face and eyes that maybe it doesn't matter too much.

Not sure about Ang Lee's thoughts about Ennis demonstrating his love in later scenes, mind - the most powerful demonstration of Ennis's love comes in the reunion kiss, which takes place before the motel scene and I can't think of anywhere later in the film where Ennis admits his feelings???

Don't suppose anyone knows if they actually filmed any more of the motel scene and then cut it?

Don't get my hopes up about that, it will do something to my sanity!

I believe Ennis does demonstrate his love for Jack in later scenes, although they may not be as obvious as in the reunion scene. Are you meaning physically demonstrating his love with Jack or in other ways? We know Ennis is unable to convey his love with words, but the way he breaks down and admits he can't stand it anymore when they argue, says to me how much Ennis loves Jack. And the fact he can't stand the thought of Jack with other men demonstrates his jealous feelings. And then when he finds the shirts.......the way he holds them, trying to smell Jack, that to me, says everything about how Ennis felt about Jack.

NoReins · « **Reply #42 on:** Apr 18, 2006, 04:33 PM »

Christie, you're right - Ennis does demonstrate his love later on. I just got the feeling that the previous poster's comment about Ang Lee suggested Ennis actually said something later on, which obviously he doesn't.

You're not alone, by the way - I'd love it if there was more to that motel scene than ended up in the movie. That really would be something to look forward to in the special edition DVD, assuming that will happen sooner or later. 'Course, right now, I'm still looking forward to getting my normal DVD.....

donnaread · « **Reply #43 on:** Apr 18, 2006, 05:50 PM »

What touches me as much as the movie itself, is the feeling and dedication that Jake and Heath put into everything they did. In the special features Jake said he wanted to do the best he could to make it authentic, and Heath said he didn't want to be the one who screwed it up. They both put their hearts and souls into this incredible film. Donna

christie wood · « **Reply #44 on:** Apr 19, 2006, 07:18 AM »

Quote from: NoReins on Apr 18, 2006, 04:33 PM

Christie, you're right - Ennis does demonstrate his love later on. I just got the feeling that the previous poster's comment about Ang Lee suggested Ennis actually said something later on, which obviously he doesn't.

You're not alone, by the way - I'd love it if there was more to that motel scene than ended up in the movie. That really would be something to look forward to in the special edition DVD, assuming that will happen sooner or later. 'Course, right now, I'm still looking forward to getting my normal DVD.....

I understand your confusion about Ennis demonstrating his love - but with Ennis, nothing was ever clear cut and obvious was it? Poor Jack, he must have loved Ennis so much too, otherwise he wouldn't have put up with the way Ennis was for so long. :'(

I try really hard not to think about the possiblity of a super deluxe collectors/directors cut edition of the DVD, as so much has been speculated upon but nothing concrete so far to suggest there ever will be one. I just hope and pray that one day there will be one. All the you tube stuff, and the other behind-the-scenes stuff will have to do us for now, I suppose.

I'm so looking forward to the 24th, not long to go now! I saw my first ad for the DVD on Sunday in the paper - it was a huge full page colour ad with "Proudly own it on DVD" written across the top! Honestly, when I saw it, my heart did a little dance, and I felt all warm and happy inside!!

shieldmaid · « **Reply #45 on:** Apr 19, 2006, 04:42 PM »

christie, thanks for starting this thread. It is one of my very favorites. I am definitely more of an Ennis/Heath fan, although I love both our boys, and I can hardly stand to watch this scene--at the same time that I want to watch it again and again. It actually makes me feel shaky, sad and proud, and yearning for Jack to know his love--all at the same time. :-\

christie wood · « **Reply #46 on:** Apr 20, 2006, 02:46 AM »

Quote from: shieldmaid on Apr 19, 2006, 04:42 PM

christie, thanks for starting this thread. It is one of my very favorites. I am definitely more of an Ennis/Heath fan, although I love both our boys, and I can hardly stand to watch this scene--at the same time that I want to watch it again and again. It actually makes me feel shaky, sad and proud, and yearning for Jack to know his love--all at the same time. :-\

I'm glad I started this thread too shieldmaid! I was surprised it hadn't been started already to be honest, this scene to me is so powerful. I know I've said this previously, but watching it for the first time, I was so unprepared for what was about to happen. I just thought he would walk off and the scene would fade to black.....then when it cut back to Ennis and we see him from the alleyway, and he moves towards it, holding his stomach, leans against the wall, trying to throw up, and then banging the wall, shouting (at himself?) and then that awful, stifled sob.....god, I was a mess. I was so full of mixed emotions.....sad for Ennis because of how he was feeling, but mad at Ennis for not telling Jack how he felt.....and sad for Jack, because he had no clue how their parting had affected Ennis.

Talk about a bag of mixed emotions......but mainly sadness, for Ennis and Jack caught up in this situation.

MississaugaRed · « **Reply #47 on:** Apr 20, 2006, 07:39 AM »

Quote from: shieldmaid on Apr 19, 2006, 04:42 PM

christie, thanks for starting this thread. It is one of my very favorites. I am definitely more of an Ennis/Heath fan, although I love both our boys, and I can hardly stand to watch this scene--at the same time that I want to watch it again and again. It actually makes me feel shaky, sad and proud, and yearning for Jack to know his love--all at the same time. :-

Yes, Christie - great thread to start, thank you!

The first time I saw Brokeback, I remember getting little emotional aches and bruises during all the scenes up on the mountain, from watching Jack's vulnerability after FNIT, seeing Ennis's barely controlled panic when he realizes their time together is being cut short, him going off to sit alone in the meadow as Jack is packing up. All those things had already started to tie me in knots.

But when Ennis broke down in that alley, that was my "Uh-Oh" scene. I thought, "what the hell have I let myself in for??". Talk about taking a blow to the heart. I still have the bruises. This scene took the film to a whole different level and just kept you grabbed by the throat from there. Really pivotal to the rest of their love story, definitely. :'(

donnaread · « **Reply #48 on:** Apr 20, 2006, 04:17 PM »

Quote from: MississaugaRed on Apr 20, 2006, 07:39 AM

The first time I saw Brokeback, I remember getting little emotional aches and bruises during all the scenes up on the mountain, from watching Jack's vulnerability after FNIT, seeing Ennis's barely controlled panic when he realizes their time together is being cut short, him going off to sit alone in the meadow as Jack is packing up. All those things had already started to tie me in knots.

Miss----Red, wonderful description of Ennis on their last day on the mountain. I have never been able to find the right words, but you have..."barely controlled panic" that's perfect. For both of them, I think that's what their fight was all about. Their parting was agony for both of them. :'( Donna

frances · « **Reply #49 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 01:16 AM »

Quote from: christie wood on Apr 20, 2006, 02:46 AM

I'm glad I started this thread too shieldmaid! I was surprised it hadn't been started already to be honest, this scene to me is so powerful. I know I've said this previously, but watching it for the first time, I was so unprepared for what was about to happen.

Unprepared, yes.

Truth is it wasn't entirely clear to me that Ennis and Jack were so in love by the time they came down. Ennis in particular let his exteriour facade crack and his true emotions show through. This macho, quiet spoken, practically emotionless man crawled into a hole and broke down crying like a baby because he had to leave the man he had come to love. What they shared up there was more than just a couple of lonely guys in the mountains keeping each other company & fooling around. They were in love, and it broke his heart to have to let Jack drive off, knowing that they were destined to never be together like they wanted

Asali · « **Reply #50 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 07:42 AM »

This scene tears me apart, I have seen the movie only once so far but nearly every bbm video on youtube seems to have that scene, it has the same effect on me every time, when I hear thes songs on the radio, the image of Ennis in the Alley is as clear as day in front of me, so difficult at times. :\'(

hpv · « **Reply #51 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 08:02 AM »

Quote from: frances on Jun 18, 2006, 01:16 AM

Quote from: christie wood on Apr 20, 2006, 02:46 AM

I'm glad I started this thread too shieldmaid! I was surprised it hadn't been started already to be honest, this scene to me is so powerful. I know I've said this previously, but watching it for the first time, I was so unprepared for what was about to happen.

Unprepared, yes.

Truth is it wasn't entirely clear to me that Ennis and Jack were so in love by the time they came down. Ennis in particular let his exteriour facade crack and his true emotions show through. This macho, quiet spoken, practically emotionless man crawled into a hole and broke down crying like a baby because he had to leave the man he had come to love. What they shared up there was more than just a couple of lonely guys in the mountains keeping each other company & fooling around. They were in love, and it broke his heart to have to let Jack drive off, knowing that they were destined to never be together like they wanted

frances,you just wrote here, my thoughts..and so clearly.
thank you

welshwitch · « **Reply #52 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 11:09 AM »

I don't think he knew, or would have acknowledged it if he did, that he loved Jack at this point. He appears to be in the grip of powerful emotions which are too inchoate for him to recognise. The violence seems to me to be Ennis's normal outlet for emotion - even with Jack at the end, when he can't cope with the situation, he turns what was a play-fight into a real one. If he were to face his feelings, he's have to admit the unthinkable, that he's attracted to a man. in the ss he says in the motel scene that it wasn' till about a year later that he realised he shouldn't have let Jack go - that's Ennis, fighting his instincts for a year and even then never doing anything about them. Tis scene always makes me realise that Ennis is always trapped and limited and bound in - by convention, duty, economics, whatever - and the only place he ever gives in to his deepest feelings is on the mountain with Jack.

lamusica · « **Reply #53 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 02:01 PM »

This scene resonated with me strongly. I wonder how often all of us walk away from a situation that may have made us happy. Once I went to a week-long art workshop in the Smoky Mountains. When I drove away at the end of the week, I cried because that one week had been so idyllic and I had grown close to many of the other artists there and knew I would never see them again. There was no love involved here, but just the feelings of the end of something so great and enjoyable as being with like-minded people in a closed setting. I think Ennis and Jack had this same feeling. They had just spent a few months together, alone in an idyllic setting with no interruptions ( or very few) from the outside world. They became everything to one another for that period of time. Now, that was over --- maybe forever. How sad! Such a realization had to make both of them sad. They both longed to continue the experience, but that was not possible. Since Ennis was committed to Alma, he felt he had to be a man of his word and leave, eventhough it was the hardest thing he ever did in his life. I LOVE this scene. It was such a surprise in the movie and hit me hard.

Asali · « **Reply #54 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 03:26 PM »

You summed that up well lamusica. I too can remember those moments, even when if you do know that you will see the people again in the future it can be very sad to be leaving the current memories behind.

tpe · « **Reply #55 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 03:47 PM »

Quote from: lamusica on Jun 18, 2006, 02:01 PM

This scene resonated with me strongly. I wonder how often all of us walk away from a situation that may have made us happy. Once I went to a week-long art workshop in the Smoky Mountains. When I drove away at the end of the week, I cried because that one week had been so idyllic and I had grown close to many of the other artists there and knew I would never see them again. There was no love involved here, but just the feelings of the end of something so great and enjoyable as being with like-minded people in a closed setting. I think Ennis and Jack had this same feeling. They had just spent a few months together, alone in an idyllic setting with no interruptions ( or very few) from the outside world. They became everything to one another for that period of time. Now, that was over --- maybe forever. How sad! Such a realization had to make both of them sad. They both longed to continue the experience, but that was not possible. Since Ennis was committed to Alma, he felt he had to be a man of his word and leave, eventhough it was the hardest thing he ever did in his life. I LOVE this scene. It was such a surprise in the movie and hit me hard.

This is the heart of the matter, and you have captured it beautifully -- with both hands.

How many times? Many more than I can remember. Now, there are just memories.

Ennis was certainly in love with Jack. What I think he did not realize that it was more than emotions.

Jack made Ennis's life whole. Jack made him entire. This is at the root of his love.

ksxks · « **Reply #56 on:** Jun 18, 2006, 09:26 PM »

Quote from: christie wood on Apr 01, 2006, 06:12 PM

I think Jack acted nonchalant about the prospect of leaving the mountain because he believed that they'd be seeing each other again. I really believe that. Even though Jack knew Ennis was planning to marry Alma, he probably thought that Ennis would not be able to go back to that life after what had happened on Brokeback. And also, do you remember the scene with the mixed up sheep and Ennis says to Jack "what if we need to work for Aguirre again? We have to ride this out Jack". I read that as Ennis, in his mind at that moment, thinking that there's a strong possibility of returning the following summer, if only to be with Jack again. And Jack must have heard that remark, and kept it close in his heart. But when they have to leave early, Ennis closes up, closing his head and his heart to everything that's happened, because he feels he has no choice. Heartbreaking.

I'm a total romantic too, and I am forever wondering what would have happened if!

I'm still catching up on all these wonderful threads. Characters, Scenes here is definitely a favorite. So I love reading everyone's comments very much -- lots of insight into this complex man.

I wouldn't call Jack exactly nonchalant when they were parting. I think he does show a lot of feeling -- he can't hide his feelings on his face even though he tries to by lowering his head and hiding behind his hat. I just think neither of them know how to go about saying overtly that they want to see each other again; certainly Ennis didn't know how, as we well know. Besides, as you said, Christie, his feeling he just has no choice.

What you said above is really good -- how both Jack and Ennis can be seen as holding out hope that they'll see each other again, based on what was said in those various scenes. But first, Ennis had to go back home...and this breaking down in the alley is so amazingly powerful. The whole thing, including how he still can't let it out -- can't vomit, just gag. And still hides it from the world. And that little cry at the end slays me every time (Heath, you are amazing), and how he stays there, bowed down, for a long time...and then (a technique I actually don't care for) the "Lead us not into temptation" heard from next scene while we're still looking at Ennis there, sick from his temptations...

kathy

CrimsonSky · « **Reply #57 on:** Jun 19, 2006, 09:04 AM »

I hadn't seen this thread before, thanks to everyone for all your brilliantly expressed thoughts

I find this scene so difficult to watch sometimes (like the scene with the shirts) Heath's performance is so powerful, especially when he bangs the wall, and then lets out that heartbreaking sob, it feels almost wrong to be watching, like intruding on his private expression of grief, but at the same time, it's so compelling, it's impossible not to watch :\'(

OT, I was doing the washing up yesterday and the Beatles song "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" came on the radio, and I immediately thought of this scene.
Here I stand, head in hand, turn my face to the wall
If (s)he's gone I can't go on
Feeling two foot small
Everywhere,people stare
Each and every day
I can feel them laugh at me
Then I hear them say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Brought tears to my eyes just picturing the scene :\'(

tpe · « **Reply #58 on:** Jun 19, 2006, 09:07 AM »

Yes, this scene is always so moving to watch.

This is the first instance in the movie that I realized how hopelessly Ennis loved Jack.

Asali · « **Reply #59 on:** Jun 19, 2006, 09:12 AM »

Quote from: CrimsonSky on Jun 19, 2006, 09:04 AM

I hadn't seen this thread before, thanks to everyone for all your brilliantly expressed thoughts I find this scene so difficult to watch sometimes (like the scene with the shirts) Heath's performance is so powerful, especially when he bangs the wall, and then lets out that heartbreaking sob, it feels almost wrong to be watching, like intruding on his private expression of grief, but at the same time, it's so compelling, it's impossible not to watch :\'(

OT, I was doing the washing up yesterday and the Beatles song "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" came on the radio, and I immediately thought of this scene.
Here I stand, head in hand, turn my face to the wall
If (s)he's gone I can't go on
Feeling two foot small
Everywhere,people stare
Each and every day
I can feel them laugh at me
Then I hear them say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Brought tears to my eyes just picturing the scene :\'(

The words of that song do say a lot don't they, so sad. This is one scene that is so difficult to get out of your head, it creeps into your mind so often throughout the day, especially when the radio is on, the eyes fill up and you wonder what they must think at work when you have such teary eyes all the time. You mention Heaths performance when he bangs the wall, it was difficult to watch how much anger he had in him.