As a mother, when I embrace my children, I see a picture of two little boys with such a sad and empty childhood, Jack and Ennis, the first one humiliated by his father, and the other one molested by his brother. And I see myself embracing two of them, giving them a shelter they never had.
Then I see two young man, two dear lifetime friends, two parts perfectly match together, naturally bounded in the beauty of nature. I see two halves finding each other and staying together not enough to understand how vital it was for both, but long enough to make any other life without each other, almost sensesless.
As a women, I see so impressive erotic charge in the intimate scenes between two man, that made me so surprised about my own feelings. I see FNIT and SNIT, even short, but with so many possibilities in my imagination
... Their sex was not only a physical need, is was a phsycological need, it was the final step to complete coupling, and that's what made it so attractive.
Then I see the end of the lovely life. They split so sudden, so speechless, so heartbreaking. What hurt me the most here are the Ennis's words in four years (not shown in the movie) when he admits that he shouldn't have let Jack go in 1963. That hurts.
Then I see Jack's suffer while desperately trying to find someone to fulfil his heart.
As an conservative Christian I see two families, Jack's and Ennis's, which normally I would find so lovely and natural. But in my heart I know that there is an emptiness, there is a need Ennis and Jack have, and no one can make them feel better but the other one. That is so disturbing in my mind. I split here in two, one – who always support family, and two – who can not bear the fact how empty their life become...
Then I see the reunion kiss, the best thing I have ever seen in the movie. So charged, so deep, 4 years of suffer to redeem in only one kiss. That was powerfull, and I will allways see it somewhere when someone kisses, and I will always try to get the same emotion from the kiss. But it'll never be the same. I see Ennis come out of his shell for a moment, showing that he knows what Jack came for. He was obviously ready to give it to him! And I see Jack overwhelmed with his kiss, shivering, excited and so surrendering to Ennis's arms. Priceless!
The motel room is also a lovely picture in my mind when I see Jack savors Ennis's hair and enjoys it. How happy he is, how deeply in love he is. I see Ennis, not capable to say one normal sentence, laying so relaxed on Jack's shoulder. That is a beautiful picture.
As a wife, I see Alma much alike Ennis – closed, silent, suffering but not capable to fight for the man she loves. Even she knows ALL about Jack, she never said anything, but always put a pressure on Ennis. She was a good person, but not soft enough. She never found a way to his heart. As impossible as this mission looks, I think that she had some opportunities.
I see Loreen (Lureen) not so bad as she is in the book. She was mostly easy to deal with, she let Jack live as he wanted, but I feel that she thinks of Jack as her MAN! She showed a pride when he stood up against her father, she tried to hide her feelings during the phone call with Ennis, but obvious she was sad, eyes full of tears. As much as she look uninterested, I think that she was a good wife. I have a feeling that she knew that something was not right, but did not explore it, just let it be without the presssure. At least Jack could breathe very easily in that marriage, and that's what he really needed.
Also, I see two dear and loving fathers who showed a great care for their children. I like that picture in my mind.
Then I see a forthcoming tragedy, a tragedy that shattered my heart and leaves it in pieces for weeks now.
First I see so dear Jack's face expecting to find a peace and cohabitation with Ennis, after he divorced, and then I see him cry trying to find a comfort in a service of a Mexican male prostitute. So sad! So humiliating!
And then a final night, two of them sitting inappropriately distant, and I always hear the Jack's word:
"The truth is: sometime I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.“ These words are burning my heart like a fire. It hurts.A lot!
Instead a hug or a close touch, I see only a Ennis's hand so causally put over Jack's body. I see Jack not facing Ennis, I see not so close relationship that I would like.
And then I see the final quarrel, Ennis tries to apologize, and Jack so lonely and desperate, so bitter. I see Jack embraces convulsed Ennis, saying some bad words, but all comes from his extreme love for Ennis. And then I see him saying:
"Never enough time, never enough!" I see an enormous Ennis's pain, and I feel so deeply sorry for him.
Then I see myself counting, trying to add some more times when they have been together (well, if they were together 4-5 times a year, during 20 years...), trying to make this difficult situation less tragic, but suddenly I got a punch in my nose. - I see two young man, hugging in front of fire, so peaceful, so happy, so full of life opportunities. Opportunities, never come to life, opportunities that only their inner obstruction has destroyed. :\'(
And I see so unhappy Jack's face as Ennis is leaving for the last time.
And then I see Ennis holding a postcard with a worse news of all. But he showed no obvious expression. Then I remember when he first time received the postcard from Jack. No smile, no reaction, nothing from outside, only his inner world. That's Ennis. I understand.
And then I see him finding two shirts after being humiliated by John Twist, a nasty old man. I see Jack's mother, so broken, without any wish to confront her bad husband, but gentle with Ennis. I see her understanding, her love for Ennis, cause she knows that he saved a part of her beloved son in him.
I see again two young man wrestling on the mountain, broken nose, blood, stolen shirt, and intimacy that Jack always felt and kept in his closet. For so long and lonely 20 years.
Than I see two hugging shirts in so poor Ennis's home, I see tears, and I hear the words: „Jack, I love you“. Even if it sounded: „Jack I swear!“.
As a Christian, in the end I wanted to see the light, and eventually I will, but for now I see pain and a deep deep sorrow in myself. And tears. A lot of them. :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(
Sorry folks, I know this post is far too long, but there was a topic, and I just felt like speaking about my pictures of the movie and I just let it roll.
