Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory

[bnjmn3]

Thank you Ethan and Michelle. You have helped so many of us.

[babytammy7]

Ethan and Michelle, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing that. Seeing all the flowers and the notes and how much Heath was loved is simply overwhelming. I wish I could be there with you, go there with you, but I'm so greatful that you did this on behalf of all of us who couldn't. What you did for him is trully beautiful.

Reading all the posts here and looking at the pictures, my heart is breaking. I'm moving between tears and moments of numbness, when I am in total denial and just can't comprehend the fact that he's dead. Four days after, it still looks surreal and impossible. I keep having this heavy feeling inside. It seems like life would never be the same again... how can it be, without him? Heath, you're in my heart forever. :\'( :\'( :\'(

Keren sweetie, this is exactly how I feel.  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(

[LuvJackNasty]

When I was sitting with my daughter's therapist the other night she told me that it was a good thing to do- for us, for me. That it would somehow bring closure. I guess I can't expect that to happen in an instant but all I know is that I feel worse than I did before.  I want this to just stop. I know we all do and it is comforting to know that we aren't alone in our grief and I have always been grateful to have this place for that, but most especially now. I have to compose myself and leave soon to go sit at a birthday party and act like all is okay in the world when that couldn't be further from the truth. I don't why I'm rambling.

[babytammy7]

Lindsey 

I'm so heartbroken, I don't know what to do.

Oh baby, don't cry please. I'm like you right now, lost and shattered, not knowing what to say or do. But you can count on me, on us, Keren. We're on the same road. My thoughts are with you. I want you to be happy again. Love you.  

[FlwrChild]

   for all of us.


Michelle, I hope it gets better as time goes on. Especially because I know that what you and Ethan did, as hard as it was for you, gave so much to the rest of us, by letting us be there with you in spirit if not in person, and allowed us the chance to pay tribute, to say good-bye, and to see through those photos, the love that so many people share for him. All I can say is thank you.

[tizi17]

and again..

i cannot thank you 3 for having us taken there, i only saw ethan's pictures now, and OMG i could see my name.. and then everything came back to me..

but i was there. i was there.

thank you.

[keren_b]

Oh baby, don't cry please. I'm like you right now, lost and shattered, not knowing what to say or do. But you can count on me, on us, Keren. We're on the same road. My thoughts are with you. I want you to be happy again. Love you.  

Thank you Tammy, I love you too.

[Annika]

All I can say is Thank you Ethan and Michelle for all you did. It means the world to me because I can't do it myself. But seeing these pictures I know I have been there in spirit with you. Thanks again and a big hug for you. 

And a big hug for everybody else here for helping me through this hard time. 

[gambrinus]

Even though there are probably thousands already posted on youtube, I wanted to make a small tribute video of my own. Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time, but here's my small effort:



(my old account went, so this is my new one)

[keren_b]

Even though there are probably thousands already posted on youtube, I wanted to make a small tribute video of my own. Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time, but here's my small effort:



(my old account went, so this is my new one)

It's beautiful and touching gambrinus, thank you. :\'(

[ksxks]

I am passing this on from Jenna Hilary Sinclair.  This really made me feel if not better, then better understanding how it is that we feel so intimate with Heath as to be so devastated by losing him.  I love how she said it.  It's especially meaningful to those of us who are fanfic writers.  (The "Hallelujah" is from her listening to Rufus Wainwright's rendition of this song.)

kathy

----------------

The Ennis who inhabits my mind and heart was given expression by Heath, his voice, his looks, the depth in his eyes. It's a very complicated dynamic going on inside me right now as I mourn on several levels at once: for Heath, and that pain is raw and genuine, for the part of Ennis that is Heath, and for the part of me that is Ennis through Heath. I feel as if he and I touched each other through Ennis in a very intimate way through my writing and his gift of bringing Ennis to life, and now that extended part of me is gone.

I am so sad right now, and yet.... And yet there is joy in this sadness, too. We humans do lots of things to help ourselves get over the death of a loved one. Heath, I didn't know him, and yet in a way we all did through his performances, and because he bared...not his soul, but the soul of Ennis Del Mar, and in the process it is impossible not to think there was some intermingling of essences. I keep telling myself that Ennis hasn't died, and he hasn't, and yet it's something I have to keep reminding myself.

We in Brokeback Mountain fandom, I believe, are the walking wounded. We banded together around the various forums and fanfiction not through prurient interest, not through casual seeking of enjoyment, but because we'd been horribly hurt by perhaps the most tragic story ever told in film, and we needed our community in order to heal. And now, this most tragic story has gotten sadder, and I didn't think that was possible. And yet...

Hallelujah. For the gift that Heath Ledger gave us, one that has literally transformed many lives. For the gift of his life and the giving of his talents and art.

Hallelujah. For the people who have become our friends through this fandom. For the creation of a community, however fractured, however imperfect, still a community of human beings sharing their own creativity, their feelings, their opening arms, a group that would never have come to be without Heath Ledger's magnificent portrayal of a man I love.

Hallelujah. For the pain that accents the joy, and the joy that accents the pain.

Jenna, 1/23/08

[FlwrChild]

Thank you for sharing that Kathy. It's a reflection of many things that I am feeling too.

[ethan]

gambrinus, the tribute video is wonderful. It has me in tears again.

Some videos from Wednesday and yesterday

[ethan]

[ethan]

Thank you all. Just knowing that we are not alone and have each other's support is comforting. Heath is now resting in peace and on his way home.

He now lives in our hearts forever.

[keren_b]

Thank you all. Just knowing that we are not alone and have each other's support is comforting. Heath is now resting in peace and on his way home.

He now lives in our hearts forever.

Thank you Ethan  :\'(

[Raisa]

Thank you  Ethan.

[Rosie]

Thank you all. Just knowing that we are not alone and have each other's support is comforting. Heath is now resting in peace and on his way home.

 He now lives in our hearts forever.

He is, and He does.   Thank you Ethan.   :\'( :\'(

[babytammy7]

Thank you all. Just knowing that we are not alone and have each other's support is comforting. Heath is now resting in peace and on his way home.
He now lives in our hearts forever.

 :\'(  :\'(  :\'( Oh my.

Thank you so much Ethan.

[froggy]

Thank you so much Ethan and LuvJackNasty x

[Rønnaug]

Yes, the pictures and the videos were wonderful I didn't realize the postcard et all were inside the boquet, that was very nice. And the candles....

[trekfan]

To Ethan and LJN  and all of you.  thank you for being there.  When I am offline I was feeling so alone.  My friends I am living with could never comprehend what I am going through. But knowing that all of you do and that I can come here to lean on you, cry with you,  receive comfort (as well as give it)  has helped beyond any words I could say.

I love you guys thank you

Linda 

[masetane]

I know this is going to sound weird....but I'm sad that he left NY today. Isn't that an odd thing to say?  I don't know why it pops in my mind because I'm so happy that his family is here for him.  I guess I'm sad about the way he is leaving.

My sister lived not too far from him in Brooklyn and would always tell me when she saw him and how nice and happy he looked. Often he was with his daughter.

I can't help but wonder - since his family is not coming to NY, will someone collect all these nice messages and give them to his family? What happens to them???  It would bother me to know they would just get sweeped up one day.   :\'(  I hope little Matilda is taken care of so well in his memory...

[rpmnh]

The extensive makeshift memorial in front of Heath's apartment is emblematic of the love that the so many in the world had for him. I wonder if he fully realized it, and if he did not, I wonder if it could have somehow altered the chain of events which led to his untimely demise...

[manhattangirl]

To Ethan and LJN  and all of you.  thank you for being there.  When I am offline I was feeling so alone.  My friends I am living with could never comprehend what I am going through. But knowing that all of you do and that I can come here to lean on you, cry with you,  receive comfort (as well as give it)  has helped beyond any words I could say.

I love you guys thank you

Linda 

I know how you feel.  I feel alone too, so I come here.  And you know something, I feel "normal". Look,  others may not understand the kind of pain we feel, we do.  We grieve together, and one day we can celebrate, celebrate Heath Ledger's life, work, and each other, what we have, what we will have all of together.   

We  spend a lot of time talking about "fear" in this forum, my one fear is that this will all end.  I'm really scared guys.  You and this forum really does mean a lot to me. 

[Rønnaug]

my one fear is that this will all end.  I'm really scared guys.  You and this forum really does mean a lot to me. 

That the forum will end? Nothing is ever certain, least of all internet forums But sweetie, we are here as long as someone wants to be here.

[ethan]

Thanks everyone. I know how much you wish to be there but I hope these pix and vids will help.

I didn't realize the postcard et all were inside the boquet, that was very nice. And the candles....

Yes they are. We could not see it anymore yesterday. I think it was probably got buried with the bouquets of flowers.

I know this is going to sound weird....but I'm sad that he left NY today. Isn't that an odd thing to say?  I don't know why it pops in my mind because I'm so happy that his family is here for him.  I guess I'm sad about the way he is leaving.

  I can understand your feeling. Ir is comforting to know that he is on his way home and close to his family.

I can't help but wonder - since his family is not coming to NY, will someone collect all these nice messages and give them to his family? What happens to them???  It would bother me to know they would just get sweeped up one day.   :\'(  I hope little Matilda is taken care of so well in his memory...

LuvJackNasty and I thought about it too. But unfortunately we will have no answer to this one. We wanted to pay our tribute to Heath, individually or collectively. Either way, I think the family gets the message overall, even if not from individuals. It is my hope that the tribute doesn't stop here or at the memorial. Heath's legacy lives on and he should and will be remembered for many years to come. 

The extensive makeshift memorial in front of Heath's apartment is emblematic of the love that the so many in the world had for him. I wonder if he fully realized it, and if he did not, I wonder if it could have somehow altered the chain of events which led to his untimely demise...

We can't be certain of the chain of events if any or the cause of his death. However, I am certain that he realized and knows even more now how much we love him and will continue to do so.   

We  spend a lot of time talking about "fear" in this forum, my one fear is that this will all end.  I'm really scared guys.  You and this forum really does mean a lot to me. 

  MG!! Esme is right - "we are here as long as someone wants to be here"

[FlwrChild]

Yes. Esme, you and Ethan put it so beautifully. MG, I feel the same way.

[carbyville]

I wish I had better words to say about all of this. I'm awful at expressing myself, but I sure try. I'll always be grateful for everything that has happened over the past two years and it's unfortunate that we have to add this tragedy to the long list of sadness that this fandom has endured. That however is not going to change my love for the story, the movie, the fandom, this forum and all of the friends I've made as a result of it all. I'm not going anywhere.

I also notice I feel kind of like I did in early 2006. It's kind of strange having to re-live the heartbroken sensation and blur that I lived those first few months after first seeing BBM. Just when the sting from that was going away, I have this to bring that sting right back, but this time even worse.

I am just glad that there are so many loving, caring individuals here that all understand each other and respect us for who we are, as we are and as we mourn together, allbeit virtually, we'll come out of this stronger than ever.

[ethan]

I also notice I feel kind of like I did in early 2006. It's kind of strange having to re-live the heartbroken sensation and blur that I lived those first few months after first seeing BBM. Just when the sting from that was going away, I have this to bring that sting right back, but this time even worse.

I am just glad that there are so many loving, caring individuals here that all understand each other and respect us for who we are, as we are and as we mourn together, allbeit virtually, we'll come out of this stronger than ever.

Dear carby  I feel the same way. How I wish that we didn't have to go through this again and this time even worse because of this tragedy. You said it beautifully. This tragic event is a testament of this brokies love and please remember that is a gift which Heath Ledger has given us. Thanks!!