Am sorry to post again about the warning signals, that something was wrong, but those warning signals only go to show there was so much
more there, beneath the celebrity glitter. There was the report of a fan seeing him in a bad part of Brooklyn, and talking to him and that got
me to thinking-what was he doing in that part of town? And then his fan club sites were falling into disarray, as if he no longer cared, and then
I spoke up, in this forum, about those pictures from London. Not as strongly as I wanted to, for fear of criticism, but a close look at several
of those photos showed intense suffering, if you looked closely. Celebs smile for the cameras. He was lost in some haze, of deep pain, and as
I said in the post, I was worried. That was pg. 432 of the photos and I think there, you can see---something had a grip on him.
That these warning signals may have been there, only doubles the grief for me, for it means he really was---kind, sensitive, loving, and greatly
in need of being loved for himself. I may be losing some Brokie friends over saying there were warning signs, it all wasn't Disneyland for him, but
I grieve the real man, not the celebrity and believe most, or even all of you feel the same way on that.
Tonight, it isn't BBM, or Ennis Del Mar, or even "Heath Ledger"-----it's Heath that we lost. The Heath from Perth, Australia, who found his way
over here, through his career. And am so bitter, so very bitter, at the thought he may have died not knowing he really was loved, for himself.
Won't say any more on that. Goes nowhere. But we'll find a way to keep him with us. After the shock and the tears, I know we'll find a way
to heal, gradually, but also to never let him drift off into just a memory. He's got to stay with us....here.
