Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory

[FlwrChild]

I find it legitimate to mourn, period.

I agree with that wholeheartedly. I ask no more or less than to have the freedom to express myself my own way and I will always give the same in return. I respect everyone's feelings about this and again ask that they be willing to do the same. I am glad we all have such a place to come and talk about how we feel. Thank you for all of the supportive and respectful comments.  to you all.

[myprivatejack]

well said Ali, i think just plain morning the loss of "potential" is like feelign bad about a low grade on an exam... heath was a person not an object...

well said. I agree with you 100%
even if we didnt know him, we were just fans, we still feel bad because he's gone and we have to mourn, I dont think its healthy to keep it all inside...

Thank you so much,Emelie and Matt¡ You're beautiful¡       

[Emzan]

Thank you so much,Emelie and Matt¡ You're beautiful¡       

 

[myprivatejack]

Well,let's being a little sensible all of us and don't create a polemic,please...  I'm afraid I've contributed to that with my answer to WW post,that was made with the feelings.And the feelings are difficult to measure,can't be theorized,and there's no generic rules,because everyone has their own way of showing,managing or healing them.
I put on her shoes after a while and I've understood that the bottom of her post is warning us not to falling in a kind of depression,not magnifying our grief and letting it be eternal or arriving to a certain point.I agree with her in this sense;but I don't move a word about what I answered in my post...We say we have our freedom to mourn and she or anybody else has their to express it in other way-always respecting the others way,of course-.
Ah,don't worry,Tony¡ I didn't feel offended or thought that these words were aimed at me;they were,yes,but in the sense that I wrote some sensitive posts about Heath's loss lately,but I haven't been the only one.It's,as we say here,"the part that corresponds on me"...Thanks,however¡
And please,don't be angry against ourselves;it doesn't worth loosing the time in arguments¡ .

[FlwrChild]

Very nicely said mpj. We love you too.

[myprivatejack]

Very nicely said mpj. We love you too.

Thank you,Barb¡    I don't want anybody to feel bad for other things than Heath and our own problems...that's enough with them,no?.  

[babytammy7]

Since this is the "In Loving Memory" thread, we should keep the memories "Loving"
We are all different people who mourn in their own way.
We can't say how people should cope with their feelings, so it's nobodies business but theirs.
The best thing we can do is support each other in our feelings and be there for each other.
And I for one, am very happy to have such supporting people with me.
Whether they dream, write down their thoughts or just want to remember him, we should respect their feelings.

So Heath baby, this one is for you, because I want to remember you with a smile!!



your smile can light my life
your smile can make it happy
so smile.
your smile
your smile can turn me up side down
your smile can get me back
so smile.
your smile gives me the strength
your smile makes me forget my weakness
so smile.
your smile is the fountain of felicity
your smile is full of so much cheer
i would love to be under that the fountain
for ever
so smile.

Marj, babe, that was utterly beautiful!!!  Thank you so much!! 

[myprivatejack]

Since this is the "In Loving Memory" thread, we should keep the memories "Loving"
We are all different people who mourn in their own way.
We can't say how people should cope with their feelings, so it's nobodies business but theirs.
The best thing we can do is support each other in our feelings and be there for each other.
And I for one, am very happy to have such supporting people with me.
Whether they dream, write down their thoughts or just want to remember him, we should respect their feelings.

So Heath baby, this one is for you, because I want to remember you with a smile!!



your smile can light my life
your smile can make it happy
so smile.
your smile
your smile can turn me up side down
your smile can get me back
so smile.
your smile gives me the strength
your smile makes me forget my weakness
so smile.
your smile is the fountain of felicity
your smile is full of so much cheer
i would love to be under that the fountain
for ever
so smile.

Marj,I really love your words in the poem and before it... You have said some great truths,so I only can tell you: Congratulations and thank you¡   

[Tony]

      Dear Ali, - thanks for understanding.  I loved your posts and especially the one about your dream, and fully supported you.  And Keren was dead-on right:  we have a right to grieve. Period.
      But I happened to remember some that, just weeks after Heath's death, seemed to be saying: let's move on.  They were there, they stupefied me. And I knew welshwitch was not one of them, therefore I felt she was possibly misunderstood.
     I will say this:  in your last post you proved yourself a lady, in the best and highest meaning of that word.  You let your heart lead the way, and by doing so, led all of us to being a stronger family.  Stay a leader.  Stay graceful.  Stay understanding. And you did do that, without backing down on your basic beliefs.  Unless and until someone says we have no right to grieve (and that has not been said), we should stay as we are, on course.
Much love, Tony.

[myprivatejack]

Thank you again for your kind words as always,Tony ¡      

[FlwrChild]

What can I say but that I love you all. What a wonderful family to be lucky enough to be a part of. Thank you.

[Emzan]

What can I say but that I love you all. What a wonderful family to be lucky enough to be a part of. Thank you.

I quote this, its amazing what Heath and this movie did, it brought us all together and for that I'm forever thankfull  

[jessicat80]

I find this thread and some of the views expressed increasingly worrying. It may be legitimate to mourn the loss of perceived potential but beyond that I think one should not go.

I saw this and truly began to fear responding....fear that I'd say something in anger and annoyance that I would later regret, so I'll try keep this as short as possible.

First, I see that I'm behind in responding to this, it was said, people responded, now lets move on. Except I think it's important to point out why I'm behind in responding. It's because I don't spend all day, everyday, sitting in Heath's memorial thread crying and screaming WHY! I come here when I need to come here, and that's why this thread still exists, because people's need to come here still exists. And if someone else no longer gets that need...then stay out of here. Just like when people didn't like Brokeback existing, if you don't want to see it, turn the channel.

I think it's really sad that there seems to have been a line drawn across the entire ennisjack forum dividing those that agree with the memorial thread, and those that don't. This isn't what brought us to this site, and it is not what continues to hold us here. What brought me here personally was a want, and a need, to go to a place and not be judged for loving and respecting something that is much bigger than myself. What I found here was a group of people that have given me a whole new perspective on loving and respecting my own self, and my beliefs...as well others'.

Do I see a post sometimes and think, "wow, they really seem way too upset about someone they didn't know personally"?  Yes I do. Then a song, or a film, or something comes on, and suddenly I'm really upset, and that judgement of others completely dissapears, and I regret ever having that judgement in the first place. We have no right to decide what is an acceptable mourning period for others anymore that we have the right to decide who lives or dies. Maybe there is higher power that has the right to decide those things, I certainly hope there is, but I seriously doubt if he does, he has an ennisjack account.



This thread is not about judgement, it's about the love and loss of someone who was very real, and talented.

I did not "perceive his potential" I simply appreciated the fact of it's existence.

[Matt Nasty]

good post jess really really good post 

[FlwrChild]

You are a beautiful soul Jess and that was beautifully articulated. Thank you for the reminder to maintain not just our tolerance but our acceptance and respect for one another. It is indeed the benchmark of our very foundation here. I value all of the input here today and think that the caliber of the posts reflects the caliber of the membership. I'm very proud to be a part of this community with all of you.

[LuvJackNasty]

Very well said Jess, I couldn't have said it better myself.  So many have expressed themselves so beautifullyand respectfully today. Thank you to all of you beautiful souls who make this a welcoming place of love and support 

[lancecowboy]

M Scott Peck said that a community is where people can disagree gracefully, can fight and argue, and remain a family. It is a place where everyone can be a leader, and a follower. It is a place where above all else, the individual is respect as much as the group. It is a place where shared values bind everyone's actions and motivation together function in a cohesive consistent pattern, like a dance.

I have just witnessed this community in action, and it's beautiful. Thank you everyone. You dance beautifully.

 

Why do I love this place? Let me count the ways; let me count the individuals here...

[keren_b]

((((((((((Jess))))))))))) 

Thank you.

[christie wood]

Jess, what a wonderful post, thanks for sharing your thoughts...

[tizi17]

M Scott Peck said that a community is where people can disagree gracefully, can fight and argue, and remain a family. It is a place where everyone can be a leader, and a follower. It is a place where above all else, the individual is respect as much as the group. It is a place where shared values bind everyone's actions and motivation together function in a cohesive consistent pattern, like a dance.

I have just witnessed this community in action, and it's beautiful. Thank you everyone. You dance beautifully.

 

Why do I love this place? Let me count the ways; let me count the individuals here...

may i agree with you? 

[myprivatejack]

I think everything has been said about your post,Jess,so I can only add; thank you for being just like you're¡  I've said these same words a lot of times these last days,but I don't mind...If I've repeated them is because they're true,and words like yours make me reassure me in this opinion.

[lancecowboy]

Sometimes, I think life goes on
Listening to Shelter's happy tunes
Feeling the warm caress of the sun
Enjoying the ocean breeze in my hair
Watching the golden sunset on my way home

Then I read about Ennis and Jack
Then I find an old interview of Jake's
And another old interview of Ang Lee's
And I wanted to find one of Heath's
And I realized, the absence of the interview

And I felt, the absence of the man
And I am grateful to remember
And I am thankful to share a happy sunny day
With the memory of the absence of the sunny smile
That warms my heart for all the rest of my days

[lamusica]

I was glancing through one of the movie rag magazines and came across a lovely picture of Michelle and Matilda walking along a street in NYC.  Matilda was wearing a little sundress, and the look on her face was 100% Heath.  That was time for a cry.  This little child will always be a reminder of our buddy; she carries his persona on her face.  Will she be like him in any other way?  Probably, since genetics are so powerful.  So, in the midst of the darkness brought by Heath's absence, Matilda brings us light, joy and fond memories of her daddy.
       We can continue to grieve; however, we need to look for ways to heal, too.
       I am worried that I will not be able to attend a theatre showing of TDK.  Everytime I see a poster of Heath as The Joker, I cry.  I want so badly to see the film, but feel it will open up all the wounds again.  (Just some ruminations from my sick mind.....)

[yb]

       I am worried that I will not be able to attend a theatre showing of TDK.  Everytime I see a poster of Heath as The Joker, I cry.  I want so badly to see the film, but feel it will open up all the wounds again.  (Just some ruminations from my sick mind.....)

I think a lot of us are prepared to cry during and after the movie.  But there's no way I'm going to pass the chance to see Heath on big screen, there's only one more movie left for this experience.  I am fully prepared to have to wear a pair of sunglasses to hide my eyes after the movie is finished. 

[lancecowboy]

I think a lot of us are prepared to cry during and after the movie.  But there's no way I'm going to pass the chance to see Heath on big screen, there's only one more movie left for this experience.  I am fully prepared to have to wear a pair of sunglasses to hide my eyes after the movie is finished. 

Yup, to crying. Nope, I won't worry about sunglasses, although they would be cool. 

I've decided that if people ask me why I cry watching Batman, I can tell them about Heath. Actually, I cried watching a few previous Batman movies. The one when they showed the young Wayne watch his parent's being murdered by the Joker. The one when Robin's family got destroyed by Two Face. So I would be surprised if I don't cry in this Batman movie.

Come to think of it,  I cried watching Spider-man movies, too. 

I guess I just cry a lot.  And I've learned to be okay with it.

[keren_b]

I know I should find ways to heal, but I don't know how to do that. I still have that horrible feeling of sadness and loss and disbelief when I read something about him, or when I try to reconcile my mind with the fact that he's dead. I feel the tears forming in my eyes just from writing these words. I guess there's nothing I can do except give it time, more time, because I can't see another way for me to get over it. You can't fix a broken heart with superglue.

[Tony]

       We can continue to grieve; however, we need to look for ways to heal, too.
       

     I was beginning to wonder, had no one heard Keren's simple statement:  "I find it legitimate to mourn. Period."? And was a little edgy at what was near to a one week gap, here.  But Andrew to the rescue.  And then Yb, and Lamusica.  Maybe we needed a pause, to re-think, and rest up a little.  And maybe there'll be a transformation whereby grieving, which is painful, eases into a soft landing of never forgetting, and always remembering a restless, vibrant, and always kind soul that crossed our paths.  Keeping him with us quietly and faithfully, rather than with the tilt to an unending hurt.  As for whether this long-term commitment is healthy, my answer is as brief as Keren's:  you love who you want to love, and please be kind enough to let others do the same.
  Lamusica, you are so right about Matilda and she certainly is an intelligent, thoughtful little girl.  I've seen dozens of pictures, and she looks like she's quietly thinking things over, as only a child would.  As for seeing TDK, like you, I have mixed feelings.  Maybe we should all bring along some sunglasses, just in case.  It's not just a movie for us, it'll be an old friend up there on the screen.  Wish we could go, together.  I'll have to go with non-Brokies and that's no help.
    

[keren_b]

     I was beginning to wonder, had no one heard Keren's simple statement:  "I find it legitimate to mourn. Period."? And was a little edgy at what was near to a one week gap, here.  But Andrew to the rescue.  And then Yb, and Lamusica.  Maybe we needed a pause, to re-think, and rest up a little.  And maybe there'll be a transformation whereby grieving, which is painful, eases into a soft landing of never forgetting, and always remembering a restless, vibrant, and always kind soul that crossed our paths.  Keeping him with us quietly and faithfully, rather than with the tilt to an unending hurt.  As for whether this long-term commitment is healthy, my answer is as brief as Keren's:  you love who you want to love, and please be kind enough to let others do the same.

Beautiful post, Tony. Thank you.

[christie wood]

I know I should find ways to heal, but I don't know how to do that. I still have that horrible feeling of sadness and loss and disbelief when I read something about him, or when I try to reconcile my mind with the fact that he's dead. I feel the tears forming in my eyes just from writing these words. I guess there's nothing I can do except give it time, more time, because I can't see another way for me to get over it. You can't fix a broken heart with superglue.

 Keren

[myprivatejack]

Sometimes, I think life goes on
Listening to Shelter's happy tunes
Feeling the warm caress of the sun
Enjoying the ocean breeze in my hair
Watching the golden sunset on my way home

Then I read about Ennis and Jack
Then I find an old interview of Jake's
And another old interview of Ang Lee's
And I wanted to find one of Heath's
And I realized, the absence of the interview

And I felt, the absence of the man
And I am grateful to remember
And I am thankful to share a happy sunny day
With the memory of the absence of the sunny smile
That warms my heart for all the rest of my days

Wonderful,Andrew¡  Isn't it just like all of us still feel? Trying to carry on,with our daily problems and happiness,getting to feel good with some little things we live everyday,knowing we're loved by someone...But suddenly,we find something that make us realise that there's something that is lack in our life;that all of us have lost a friend,a buddy,somebody who-even without being aware of it-helped to change our lives and gave to us an explosion of feelings just with his performance...And this is something that needn't theories; just feeling it or not ¡.And needn't explanations,justifications nor is product of some sick mind,Lamusica; we need to heal from this grief,of course,but with our own steps,and these are different from each person,with their own circumstances and way of being.
So,yes,I'll go to see TDK and I know I'll cry...And I don't mind,nor mind what people can think about me,even that I'm a complete stupid...I've lost a friend that made me feel something great,and that's enough for me.Period,too.I'd only want to send a big  to all who feel bad about this,and specially who has written these last posts: Andrew,Keren,Tony,Lamusica,yb...Don't feel ashame of your grief;it's great ¡.