I definitely agree that we are more drawn into the power of Jack's love for Ennis because he is so much more demonstrable. But, after the 2nd viewing, I was convinced that Ennis' love for Jack was really deeper and more profound. He is just so unhappy after the reunion scene. He is tormenting himself and doesn't realize it. Look at how he acts with Cassie Cartwright. The initial meeting is such a beating for him - such a chore. He obliges her out of decency and respect, but I was so sure he was thinking about Jack the whole time. Even when they are out with Alma Jr., it just never seemed that Ennis was fully "about" whatever it was he was doing. He keeps Jack at arms distance because that is his comfort zone and just doesn't recognize what he's doing to himself. That's how I read it. It probably helps seeing Ennis so griefstricken after Jack's death. He is paralyzed with sorrow and perhaps some remorse. I have no idea what Heath had to do to get into the mindset to do the "discover his shirt inside Jack's shirt" scene at Jack's parents' house, but he pulled it off perfectly. When he pulled out the shirts and gently cradled them and smelled them, like he could actually smell Jack on the shirt, his face tells it all. He will NEVER get over this man with whom he fell in love. Heath makes it cold, raw, brutally unfair emotion. It's almost as if he is exposing an ugly, vicious wound that will never heal, but you can't see it visually because it's the Jack-shaped hole in his heart!
There's my $0.02 - sorry for rambling, but I am so convinced that Ennis' keeping his love for Jack in abeyance is kind of his undoing - in a theatrical, if not somewhat oblique kind of way. STOP ME NOW - I love this film too much.
