I don't know, but I think some pople are doomed to live their lives in the past -- because if they lived in the present, it would be too much to bear. Memory is a gentle thing in these cases -- because we can hold on to something that happened in the past, and provides us with some measure of hope.
Hope and memory can go a long way. Hope can't persist without the gentle prodding of memory.
It's been a while since I was in this thread and visiting again today, I found this interesting bit. The role of memory in hope, and how memory affects the present.
In the context of falling in love with the memories of love, instead of loving the person in the present, this is intriguing. Are we asking if love is merely the memory of the moment that we shared, however brief or sustained? Certainly Japanese studies have been shown that people find beauty, or attraction to others from a kind of collective memory of the average expectation. The most attractive faces are those that are the most averaged, with specific patterns of exaggerations that stay within the normal of "average." We also individually find someone to be attractive if the person reminds us of someone else in our past, who were part of fond memories. Perhaps this is what leads to hope of a repeat performance with the new person.
I am not sure I agree with this when applied to Ennis. Perhaps it may be true of Jack, with his looking for Ennis in a Mexican alley or in his neighbour, or the rodeo clown - all tall lanky fellows, especially the ones wearing white cowboy hats. With Ennis, on the other hand, there is only steadfast one-man love. The memory of Brokeback Mountain is not about the hope of re-living it, since Jack was already dead and cremated. There is no hope. But the memory was a way to hold on to what was treasured, even if temporarily in a dream. Ennis was living in the past because he knew painfully that he let slipped the many opportunities for the sweet life that Jack offered. He was trying to undo what he did, by living out his regrets in his dreams. "This Kurt...does he love you?" ... like my Jack loved me? Memories are not always gentle and soothing, but also sharply painful when it carries with it regret. "Jack, I swear." was more than a declaration of love, it was a solemn apology and promise to never let slip another opportunity.
Were they in love with the memories of Brokeback Mountain, with each other, with the hope of repeating what they had, with an illusion?
Perhaps for four years, they were in love with their memories, but from the reunion onward, there is no doubt that they were in love with each other. Lying there by the river looking up to heaven, lying there in Motel Siesta in Jack's arms, Ennis was not thinking of the snow or campfire on Brokeback Mountain. He was thinking how sweet it was to have someone who understood him the way he understood Jack. They were two souls that resonated in harmony. Memories are helpful, like memories of other symphonies when listening to great music, but they don't mean the music was in the past. Love is about living in the present, with the loved one. When Jack died, there was only the past, but even then, Ennis managed to look to the future, to find a way to return Jack's ashes to Brokeback Mountain.
Jack may have been in love with the hope of the sweet life, but not just with anyone, with Ennis. That's why he waited all 'em years before talking about Randall, in frustration after the final confrontation. We don't even know for sure if Randall was a serious contender. It may have been just a one-off that spring. We will never know if Jack would go back to talking about Ennis to his old man after that November, if he lived.
No, I don't believe Ennis was in love with just the memories, just the hope of a repeat performance, just some illusions that were not real. They were in love with each other, a love that was born of friendship caught on fire, a friendship that was not expected, but deeply appreciated. They were in love with the person they find in each other, who was respectful of their opinions, perhaps for the first time in their lives. They were in love with the person who they felt, in their guts, were like two gloves fitting each other, two shirts inside one another. Those are no illusions, not just hope for some future dreams. They
felt the bonding of two hearts and souls. And yes, memories of those moments kept their love going for four years until the reunion, prompted Ennis to take those steps two and three a time to bone crush Jack at the bottom of it all, the kiss that later caused all that trouble. Memories are what life is made of, one moment at a time, but love is more than memories.
