
for anyone who need one.

Thanks again Jackster. The Thoreau quote is most apt. Ennis always marched to a different drummer. That's for certain.
Laura, I envy your dream of Ennis. I wish I could have one like that. You are quite right, I think, about Ennis's stoic nature. The "got to stand it" "stick it out" sense of duty to get on with the job, no matter how tough, is drilled into him since he was a little boy. Living alone, living with loneliness, was also drilled into him, especially after his parents died.
In a way, I think Ennis was both very lonely, and not very lonely at the same time, if that makes sense.
Ennis was very lonely by our standard, but not very lonely because he was cut from a different cloth, marching to a different drummer. To him, solitude is natural and peaceful, without the need to deal with other people's emotions, other people's prejudices, criticism, rejection...which was what he got from people all his life. Solitude was his castle. Jack knew this when they first met, and went knocking on his castle keep. It took a long time before Ennis let down the draw bridge, but by SNIT, Jack was in.
In my opinion, Ennis never let Jack outa his castle, not even after they were separated physically that summer, or all those times for the subsequent years. It's why he wrung it out hundreds of times, why he could stand having only a few high altitude f@#@#s a few times a year while Jack couldn't, why he carried on with dreams and memories of Jack. It's no different from all 'em other years when he had nothing by memory. The only difference, is that now the Jack in the castle is not just a fantasy, but a true love that he knew he could have had but lost because he was too afraid. That kinda regret can change a man, and change he did. He still enjoyed his solitude, but he also kept the draw bridge down, more open in any case, because now he knew, there are people out there who accepts him just the way he and Jack were, like Jack's Ma, and people who loves him, like Cassie and Junior. He was still not sure how to love, how to give love...that was Jack's department, but he was willing to respond with love, like when he asked Junior, "Does he love you?" It's not much, but Junior knew what it cost him.
Yes, Ennis was both very lonely and not very lonely...
...he would wake sometimes in grief,
sometimes with the old sense of joy and release;
the pillow sometimes wet, sometimes the sheets.

y'all. I love talking about Ennis, and there ain't nowhere else but here that I can talk like this.
