I just found this on the net:
Ways to Seek Revenge on the Makers of "Crash"The following list is meant satirically, and the author of the list does not encourage anyone to actually do any of these things.
1. Steal every can of food in their houses; replace them all with cans of beans.
2. Hold their Oscar statuettes hostage; demand that they pay 1,963 million dollars (for the year Jack and Ennis met) to get them back. Once you have the money, keep the statuettes anyway, and tell them that "if you can't fix it, you've gotta stand it."
3. Find out where they do their laundry. Spatter all their button-down shirts with dark red dye.
4. Change all their official information so that under "Occupation", it reads "Castratin' calves."
5. Hide an electronic device in their houses that will play "The Wings" non-stop until they find it.
6. If they order fish in a restaurant, sneak into the kitchen, steal their food, and replace it with a note that says "You didn't go up there to fish!"
7. Intercept their mail; find any letters they wrote to friends or family and stamp "Deceased" on them with a big red stamp. Then mail them back.
8. Dress up as sheep and camp out in front of their houses. Bah "Yooooouu robbbbbed ussssss" until the police arrest you and take you away.
9. Send a letter to a large newspaper under their name. In the letter, say that you (they) are having psychosomatic illnesses due to the guilt of winning the Oscar, and beg to be allowed to kiss Ang Lee's feet until the pain goes away.
10. Wait until Heath and Michelle's kid starts teething. Then make them babysit.
11. Spray-paint "Paul Haggis was here" on the door of a Mexican male brothel.
12. Wait until they sit down in a public place, then sit down next to them and put your feet in their lap. When they ask what you're doing, say "Trying to get a footrub, dummy."
13. Tell them your mama said the DVD of "Crash" is the devil's right hand.
14. Tell them that every time an undeserving movie wins Best Picture, God spawns a racist.
15. Send them bouquets of roses, with no stems. Tell them to stem the roses.
16. Convince Ted Casablanca to write an article entitled "Makers of 'Crash' Found in Orgy with Toothy Tile."
17. Tell them their movie "isn't the stud duck. It's more like the impotent duck."
18. Compose a song entitled "The Makers of 'Crash' Are Theivin' Sons of Whoreson Bitches." Play it on the harmonica in their presence.
19. Ask them if they've heard from Marisa Tomei yet.
20. Tell them that, by and large, the members of the Academy are "part of what the French call 'les incompetents'."
