Brokeback Mountain Forum @ ennisjack.com
The Movie & Story => Characters, Quotes & Scenes => Topic started by: LuvJackNasty on Jan 03, 2007, 11:53 PM
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I was watching the divorce scene and I started to wonder if things would have been different for the boys had Ennis not gotten divorced.
I think the end would have sadly been the same, regardless, but I'm wondering if the strain of the relationship would have been lessened. To me this is a very pivotal point for Jack- he got a big smackdown by not only being rejected by Ennis but in realizing that he could no longer lie to himself that it was Alma/the girls keeping Ennis from living the sweet life. There was no longer anyway for Jack to deny the truth. This is where Jack started to self destruct, IMO. He went to Mexico to gain some control and every meeting with Ennis was tainted with this knowledge that Ennis either didn't want that life together or was too scared to have it- possibly a combination of both. It may have made him push more for that sweet life- calling Ennis out- on subsequent meetings.
I could see how he misinterpretted the postcard- that was their sole form of communication- to set up meetings etc. I know in the SS it says Ennis called Jack and I never could figure out why Jack didn't just ask him- maybe he didn't want the answer, maybe he was too dumbstruck and ecstatic
that his dream was within his grasp that it was inconceivable to him that it wasn't going to happen.
I guess what I'm getting at is do you think the divorce play a big role in the wear and tear or was that just inevitable? Did it speed it up?
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This is an interesting question: whether maintaining the status quo would have changed anything.
Interesting to think that Ennis STAYING married to Alma could have alleviated Jack's situation. Personally, I think it MAY have prolonged Jack's hope. The reason for this is what you have already mentioned: the first trip to Mexico after the misunderstood signals coming from Ennis. I agree that that was a turning point for Jack. It was not because of this fiasco per se, but I think after his divorce, Ennis became much more paranoid an cautious. Had he and Alma maintained a level of indiference to each other and stayed married (as in the case of Jack and Lureen), Ennis would have probably remained more open to the idea of meeting Jack many times dutring the year. I think that the divorce heightened Ennis's feeling of guilt and shame -- and that affected his dealing with Jack adversely.
Nevertheless, the divorce probably will not change the end. The main reason is Ennis. With or without the divorce, Ennis remains a deeply conflicted man wrestling with his own interior demons. This was bound to have an effect on his relationship with Jack one way or the other.
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Absolutely! I hadn't given it any thought before but I do think that the events following the divorce revealed certain truths to Jack that he might have been protected from otherwise. He always seemed to tread very carefully with what he said to Ennis and was wise enough not to push the envelope too much after the reunion trip. Perhaps the strain of the long distance, secret relationship and the infrequent meetings would still not have been so heartbreaking for him if he could have held onto the idea that Ennis would be his comletely if not for his responsibilities to his wife and family.
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Absolutely! I hadn't given it any thought before but I do think that the events following the divorce revealed certain truths to Jack that he might have been protected from otherwise. He always seemed to tread very carefully with what he said to Ennis and was wise enough not to push the envelope too much after the reunion trip. Perhaps the strain of the long distance, secret relationship and the infrequent meetings would still not have been so heartbreaking for him if he could have held onto the idea that Ennis would be his comletely if not for his responsibilities to his wife and family.
The irony was that Ennis was probably his in the place that mattered the most... Before and after the divorce...
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The divorce clearly shifted the balance. Before it both had wives, families, jobs - after it Ennis had lost his wife, his children were largely out of his reach, except for once a month, and he'd never been committed to one job;indeed in the early days he's just given up on one, seen Jack, then gone back to a different one. But he knew that Jack wasn't committed to Lureeen and never had been - the time after the first reunion told him that. Jack might have told himself that Ennis wasn't committed to Alm in the sens eof loving her, but felt he had to stay for the sake of the girls, though to believe that he'd have to be pretty good at seeing only what he wanted to.
Once the divorce was over, Ennis had no reason not to leave Riverton and go wherever with Jack, and incidentally it was by this time 1975 and things must have changed to some degree even in the society Ennis was so afraid of. So Jack was forced to confront the fact that Ennis had probably been using Alma and the girls as an excuse but even once they were out of the picture was never going to commit to Jack on a permanent basis.
Every meeting between then and the final one must have been colored by that knowledge - Jack settled for what he could get for another eight years, but it must have had a corrosive effect on him.
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The irony was that Ennis was probably his in the place that mattered the most... Before and after the divorce...
I hope some part of Jack knew that in his heart....
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I hope some part of Jack knew that in his heart....
I think he did. The divorce didn't really matter in the long run. This one did.
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Thanks for the comments. I do think that the end would have been the same regardless of the divorce and over time the long distance etc that Flwrchild cited would have eventually taken it's toll.
WW- bringing up the first reunion made me think of something else- that's when Ennis told Jack about Earl- so Jack knew why Ennis was so guarded, but I think the divorce scene and Ennis getting weird with the truck in the distance really opened Jack's eyes to just how deeply that fear ran. I think this is one of those scenes where the one tag line "There are truths you can't deny" fits in so well.
Thomas- I agree- Jack knew deep down inside, in his heart, that Ennis loved him.
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One cannot underestimate, nonetheless, the devastating effect the divorce fiasco had on Jack. It broke his heart, and we know how much that hurts.
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Jachad already been humiliated so often - by his father, by Jimbo, by Lureen and the Newsomes - now it was Ennis doin the same thing to him. The divorce was theoe thing he thought could change everything, but it didn't. so even when Alma was out of the picture, Ennis's fears were still stronger than his love, and Jack knew it.
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Jachad already been humiliated so often - by his father, by Jimbo, by Lureen and the Newsomes - now it was Ennis doin the same thing to him. The divorce was theoe thing he thought could change everything, but it didn't. so even when Alma was out of the picture, Ennis's fears were still stronger than his love, and Jack knew it.
Yes, I think the divorce incident was a humiliation that came from a very unexpected quarter. That was why it cut so deep.
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Yes, I think the divorce incident was a humiliation that came from a very unexpected quarter. That was why it cut so deep.
Where do you turn when the person you think is your oasis knocks all your dreams to the dirt?
For Jack, I guess....Mexico. :\'(
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I suppose going to Mexico was a form of self-abuse from Jack. He was hurt, humiliated and angry at the lack of Ennis's support for the ideals that inspired Jack to come to him. His hopes were so high after the divorce that he drove all that way, cause he thought Ennis was finally his at last. This shoot-down IMO propelled Jack into a spur-of-the moment downward spiral to Mexico. And I don't feel it had as much to do with sex as had to do with regaining some sense of real feelng with a human touch.Ennis's suprising disregard must have left him numb. A roll in the hay with a Mexican hustler solved nothing in the deeper sense but he was "getting back" at Ennis, yet punishing himself in the process for being so vulnerable to Ennis 's control. The "how could I have been so blind" syndrome.
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Absolutely! I hadn't given it any thought before but I do think that the events following the divorce revealed certain truths to Jack that he might have been protected from otherwise. He always seemed to tread very carefully with what he said to Ennis and was wise enough not to push the envelope too much after the reunion trip. Perhaps the strain of the long distance, secret relationship and the infrequent meetings would still not have been so heartbreaking for him if he could have held onto the idea that Ennis would be his comletely if not for his responsibilities to his wife and family.
[additional thoughts:]
Jack made the mistake of putting himself in a very vulnerable position, and he lost it. He is quite careful other times not to do this. I think the only other time was his final decision to go ahead with Randall -- and we know how that ended.
THis is why the divorce scene was so critical: Jack relaxed his guard when he felt he was at the moment of truimph. He miscalculated, and received the mortal wound that was to kill him years later. And by that time, there was no Holy Grail, no Parsifal, to save the wounded Amfortas.
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I suppose going to Mexico was a form of self-abuse from Jack. He was hurt, humiliated and angry at the lack of Ennis's support for the ideals that inspired Jack to come to him. His hopes were so high after the divorce that he drove all that way, cause he thought Ennis was finally his at last. This shoot-down IMO propelled Jack into a spur-of-the moment downward spiral to Mexico. And I don't feel it had as much to do with sex as had to do with regaining some sense of real feelng with a human touch.Ennis's suprising disregard must have left him numb. A roll in the hay with a Mexican hustler solved nothing in the deeper sense but he was "getting back" at Ennis, yet punishing himself in the process for being so vulnerable to Ennis 's control. The "how could I have been so blind" syndrome.
On Jack's face as he entered the alleyway, you can see both doom and determination. I don't think if came easy for him. But anger and humiliation has a way of fortifying us -- even if we move in a direction that hurts us deep inside.
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On Jack's face as he entered the alleyway, you can see both doom and determination. I don't think if came easy for him. But anger and humiliation has a way of fortifying us -- even if we move in a direction that hurts us deep inside.
So true. And so very well said.
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In the face of humiliation and hurt, people become reckless. Jack was no different. He is like each and everyone of us.
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This is why he affects us so strongly.
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Yes, the divorce fiasco breaks my heart.
When we surrender a part of ourselves and get rejected, it wounds us in a way that goes beyond physical. Jack starts to die starting from this scene.
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Yes, the divorce fiasco breaks my heart.
When we surrender a part of ourselves and get rejected, it wounds us in a way that goes beyond physical. Jack starts to die starting from this scene.
Great posts- I couldn't agree more- it becomes so multi-layered emotion wise.
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Thanks LJN. I do look at this scene as the starting point when Jack's hope of a sweet life begins to die.
In a way, I do think going to Mexico and doing what he did was meant to act as a sort of balm to staunch the bleeding, if you know what I mean. It acted as a temporary salve to ease the pain on a mortal wound. I doubt that Jack realized then that the wound was mortal, but all he could do was to try to forget. And like getting drunk, immediate and casual gratification of one's desires is often times used to hide and forget a deeper problem of the heart.
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There's also the "Well, if he doesn't want me someone else will" aspect, as though Jack is trying to revenge himself on Ennis.
in the mean time, though, being a divorce must have made Ennis stigmatized to some degree in Riverton, I'd have thought, and he makes it worse by deliberately isolating himself and cutting himself off, not just from Jack but from the society he lived in. It's almost as if he's determined to make himself a reject and can't cope with Jack's post-divorce appearance and apparent willingness to change everything.
Ennis reminds me of a hermit crab pulling back into his shell.
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There's also the "Well, if he doesn't want me someone else will" aspect, as though Jack is trying to revenge himself on Ennis.
in the mean time, though, being a divorce must have made Ennis stigmatized to some degree in Riverton, I'd have thought, and he makes it worse by deliberately isolating himself and cutting himself off, not just from Jack but from the society he lived in. It's almost as if he's determined to make himself a reject and can't cope with Jack's post-divorce appearance and apparent willingness to change everything.
Ennis reminds me of a hermit crab pulling back into his shell.
So true: there must be an aspect of revenge here: getting back at Ennis.
And as in many forms of love-revenge, we only end up hurting ourselves in the long run.
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Putting the peddle to he metal and heading to Mexico was akin to Ennis's wall punching. The helplessness to control his actions to do something rash is human. No, he had no wall to punch, but he did use the means he did have. Armed with a sense of low-self esteem and rejection caused by humiliation he set out to "fix" Ennis , "breaking" himself in the process. He is a study in human frailty. His crying in the truck totally broke my heart. I could've caused Ennis serious bodily harm in this scene for hurting Jack like this. He had such high hopes.
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Putting the peddle to he metal and heading to Mexico was akin to Ennis's wall punching. The helplessness to control his actions to do something rash is human. No, he had no wall to punch, but he did use the means he did have. Armed with a sense of low-self esteem and rejection caused by humiliation he set out to "fix" Ennis , "breaking" himself in the process. He is a study in human frailty. His crying in the truck totally broke my heart. I could've caused Ennis serious bodily harm in this scene for hurting Jack like this. He had such high hopes.
Perfect correspondence! I cannot agree more. I find this beautiful, aintfoolin. Perfection. Indeed, it was sheer helplessness in the face of the a love that is stymied. It is an illustration of human frailty that we can all relate to and empathize with.
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This is an interesting question: whether maintaining the status quo would have changed anything.
Interesting to think that Ennis STAYING married to Alma could have alleviated Jack's situation. Personally, I think it MAY have prolonged Jack's hope. The reason for this is what you have already mentioned: the first trip to Mexico after the misunderstood signals coming from Ennis. I agree that that was a turning point for Jack. It was not because of this fiasco per se, but I think after his divorce, Ennis became much more paranoid an cautious. Had he and Alma maintained a level of indiference to each other and stayed married (as in the case of Jack and Lureen), Ennis would have probably remained more open to the idea of meeting Jack many times dutring the year. I think that the divorce heightened Ennis's feeling of guilt and shame -- and that affected his dealing with Jack adversely.
Nevertheless, the divorce probably will not change the end. The main reason is Ennis. With or without the divorce, Ennis remains a deeply conflicted man wrestling with his own interior demons. This was bound to have an effect on his relationship with Jack one way or the other.
I agree with you, TPE. I think the divorce heightened Ennis' feelings of guilt and shame and then he COULDN'T see his way clear to live with Jack.
I think, though, that Jack was still willing to accept Ennis' choice and see him whenever he could. One of the saddest moments for me in the movie (I watched it again last night) was during their last meeting when Jack says to Ennis, "All this time and you still ain't found nobody else to marry?" I took that to mean, that even if Ennis married again, Jack expected that his relationship with Ennis would remain the same.
The argument Ennis and Jack had the next morning (their last meeting) was (to me) was more about 'never enough time' together and Ennis making his work more important than his time with Jack.
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I agree with you, TPE. I think the divorce heightened Ennis' feelings of guilt and shame and then he COULDN'T see his way clear to live with Jack.
I think, though, that Jack was still willing to accept Ennis' choice and see him whenever he could. One of the saddest moments for me in the movie (I watched it again last night) was during their last meeting when Jack says to Ennis, "All this time and you still ain't found nobody else to marry?" I took that to mean, that even if Ennis married again, Jack expected that his relationship with Ennis would remain the same.
The argument Ennis and Jack had the next morning (their last meeting) was (to me) was more about 'never enough time' together and Ennis making his work more important than his time with Jack.
Well said, jesseanne21. You tie it in with the larger picture of Jack, and this we sometime forget. Jack tried his best to accommodate anything that would work for him and Ennis. He compromised so much and for so long. Even the divorce scene did not destroy this, as painful as it is to him, I'm sure.
We tend to think sometimes that Jack had unrealistic hopes. This is certainly not fair. He was more than reasonable in his expectations. He wanted things to work out so badly. And besides, was a wish for a sweet life a foolish thing? Many of us do this and live it in our lives.
If there is anything else to be said, was can say that Jack was strong. Yes, he was week in some things, but to survive the mortal blow of the divorce fiasco is to his great credit. Many of us would have just died or moved on...
He did neither -- a least for more than a decade after...
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Thanks LJN. I do look at this scene as the starting point when Jack's hope of a sweet life begins to die.
In a way, I do think going to Mexico and doing what he did was meant to act as a sort of balm to staunch the bleeding, if you know what I mean. It acted as a temporary salve to ease the pain on a mortal wound. I doubt that Jack realized then that the wound was mortal, but all he could do was to try to forget. And like getting drunk, immediate and casual gratification of one's desires is often times used to hide and forget a deeper problem of the heart.
Putting the peddle to he metal and heading to Mexico was akin to Ennis's wall punching. The helplessness to control his actions to do something rash is human. No, he had no wall to punch, but he did use the means he did have. Armed with a sense of low-self esteem and rejection caused by humiliation he set out to "fix" Ennis , "breaking" himself in the process. He is a study in human frailty. His crying in the truck totally broke my heart. I could've caused Ennis serious bodily harm in this scene for hurting Jack like this. He had such high hopes.
Aintfoolin' your post brought tears to my eyes. :\'(
Thomas I know what you mean. I still see Mexico as a means of him taking control- not necessarily a screw you to Ennis but more of a way to be in charge. It breaks my heart even more to think that he had to resort to that to feel "wanted" and know that he wasn't going to be rejected.
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Ennis really did'nt leave Jack any direction to go in, but Jack's own fear of loosing him and the girls being there , IMO contributed to his not just expressing his disappointment in the whole screwed up situation right then and there. Yes, he was willing to give up everything for this moment. I love this emotional scene for it's excellent acting, but maybe I should skip it in the future because The things I wanted to tell Ennis are not good. He had no resonable excuse for acting like he had no dog in this fight... could've handled this alot better ,had he been THINKING. Ennis had options here. He no longer had the every day distraction of living with Alma, and I agree he became more and more paranoid ..... He tasks me something awful here. ^*) ::)
I think I saw a thread somewhere.about the anger directed at Ennis in this film. Maybe I should go there. thanks.
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Ennis really did'nt leave Jack any direction to go in, but Jack's own fear of loosing him and the girls being there , IMO contributed to his not just expressing his disappointment in the whole screwed up situation right then and there. Yes, he was willing to give up everything for this moment. I love this emotional scene for it's excellent acting, but maybe I should skip it in the future because The things I wanted to tell Ennis are not good. He had no resonable excuse for acting like he had no dog in this fight... could've handled this alot better ,had he been THINKING. Ennis had options here. He no longer had the every day distraction of living with Alma, and I agree he became more and more paranoid ..... He tasks me something awful here. ^*) ::)
I think I saw a thread somewhere.about the anger directed at Ennis in this film. Maybe I should go there. thanks.
I completely agree. And I've been in a relationship where I kept a lot of things to myself to maintain the balance and not rock the boat. Jack always took his cues from Ennis and acted accordingly. This, combined with his utter heartbreak at finding the situation was not what he thought left him little option but to turn and run. As always (though ironically he never knew it), Ennis held all the cards here.
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Aintfoolin' your post brought tears to my eyes. :\'(
Thomas I know what you mean. I still see Mexico as a means of him taking control- not necessarily a screw you to Ennis but more of a way to be in charge. It breaks my heart even more to think that he had to resort to that to feel "wanted" and know that he wasn't going to be rejected.
Good point. When we act impulsively in the face of adversity, it is usually because we wish to reassert some control over a situation. Such is the case with Jack. And in many cases in real life, we really live to regret our impulsive actions.
It was also a matter of pride for Jack. His pride and self-respect had been brought to a low point by the fiasco. When self-esteem is at a low ebb and pride is wounded, we don't care to stoop low if we can somehow regain some degree of self-determination in the face of uncertainty and failure.
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I completely agree. And I've been in a relationship where I kept a lot of things to myself to maintain the balance and not rock the boat. Jack always took his cues from Ennis and acted accordingly. This, combined with his utter heartbreak at finding the situation was not what he thought left him little option but to turn and run. As always (though ironically he never knew it), Ennis held all the cards here.
It is cruelly apparent in this scene.
I wonder if Ennis ever did know? Assuming he never knew, would his knowing would have made him more understanding and considerate of Jack, especially in this scene?
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Oh God, I'd have to think so. Or at least hope so.
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Oh God, I'd have to think so. Or at least hope so.
I do think part of the tragedy was that Ennis never understood that he alone had the power to set things aright. Either he never knew or that he was too scared to know or understand the full implications and ramifications of his actions, such as in this scene...
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I do think part of the tragedy was that Ennis never understood that he alone had the power to set things aright. Either he never knew or that he was too scared to know or understand the full implications and ramifications of his actions, such as in this scene...
I absolutely agree. And I don't think he knew (or was able or willing to see, as you point out). I think he always believed himself to be a man with no choices, living the life he had to lead under the circumstances. The fact that he maintained a relationship with Jack at all given this 'conditioning' speaks volumes about his love for him. It is, to me, doubly ironic that they understood each other in ways that no one else ever did while at the same time, I don't think either of them realized the depth of feeling the other one had for him.
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It is indeed ironic that Ennis didn't even look at the divorce with Alma as a choice! He had to be dragged into it. It is not surprising that he treated Jack this way, if we are to understand his closed outlook -- as if he were a trapped animal.
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He let his paranoia get the best of him IMO enough to blind him to Jack's obvious pain and hurt. There was no attempt to rein it in and Jack was'nt willing to push it further or make his feelings about it known verbally at that time, but as far as I'm concerned Jack had already done his part by driving so far to be with Ennis. What more could he ask of Jack. The ball was definitly in Ennis court here. With a little thought and understanding he could have handled the situation with a little more tact, sparing Jack the humiliation he caused. He can thank his lucky stars that Jack was hopelessly in love with him but he paid the price for it in this scene. Crying in that truck, he had to question his dedication to this man putting him in this position, hence the tears. :(
It is indeed ironic that Ennis didn't even look at the divorce with Alma as a choice! He had to be dragged into it. It is not surprising that he treated Jack this way, if we are to understand his closed outlook -- as if he were a trapped animal.
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Well , Jack was trying to do right by him and he wether he knew it or not he did have choices to make in life as a grown man. As the father of two young girls he should have learned something about love without conditions. Jack deserved better but I have sympathy for both in their struggle.
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Well , Jack was trying to do right by him and he wether he knew it or not he did have choices to make in life as a grown man. As the father of two young girls he should have learned something about love without conditions. Jack deserved better but I have sympathy for both in their struggle.
You are right. As a father, he should have learned something about unconditional love. It is a tragedy that he not carry this lesson over to his dealings with Jack...
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I have a feeling the divorce would impact more strongly on Ennis than it might have on other men. He lost his own parents when he was very young and married young too - if he was trying to rebuild the family he's lost it would have been devastating to have this new family snatched away and be driven out of it, specially when he later has to see Alma rebuilding a family with Monroe. Which makes his rage in and after the Thanksgiving scene even more significant.
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I have a feeling the divorce would impact more strongly on Ennis than it might have on other men. He lost his own parents when he was very young and married young too - if he was trying to rebuild the family he's lost it would have been devastating to have this new family snatched away and be driven out of it, specially when he later has to see Alma rebuilding a family with Monroe. Which makes his rage in and after the Thanksgiving scene even more significant.
I think this was why he let things be until the very end when Alma took the initiative. Ennis needed a sense of family badly -- phychologically, it was an imperative. This worked against Jack, and it was Jack's burden to remain also an outsider, as far as as Ennis's family was concerned. And yet he probably had the most reason to claim Ennis as his very own, because he had Ennis's love.
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It is indeed ironic that Ennis didn't even look at the divorce with Alma as a choice! He had to be dragged into it. It is not surprising that he treated Jack this way, if we are to understand his closed outlook -- as if he were a trapped animal.
To me, his cover was blown, so to speak. He no longer has the guise of being the norm. Here he's divorced and then this man (not just any man mind you) is going around asking where he moved to. I get so torn between feeling sorry for Ennis for being so trapped in his fear and wanting to slap him for not only rejecting Jack but making him feel that Ennis is ashamed of him and this thing (that one is my overriding emotion though)
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To me, his cover was blown, so to speak. He no longer has the guise of being the norm. Here he's divorced and then this man (not just any man mind you) is going around asking where he moved to. I get so torn between feeling sorry for Ennis for being so trapped in his fear and wanting to slap him for not only rejecting Jack but making him feel that Ennis is ashamed of him and this thing (that one is my overriding emotion though)
Could he acted this way because he somehow blamed Jack for the divorce -- at least subconsciously? I think this is a possibility...
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I can imagine that if the divorce hadn't happened, Ennis would have gone on as they'd done - while he was married he seemed happy to ditch a job when he wanted to see Jack; it was only later, when he had no real home and had partly lost the girls, that he started t cite the impossibility of getting away - though of course by then he was (relatively) older so maybe it would have been more of a problem anyway.
But IMO the divorce left him feeling exposed and vulnerable, and if Jack turned up and intruded into his Riverton life maybe that frightened him.
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OMG,
I can't agree more. after the divorce, he wrote to Jack, and told him. Why? He must have known Jack would come back for him, and again Ennis hurts Jack, by even refusing to see him later and talk about it, his kids were there, give me a break. Ennis torture Jack, like he's tortured.
I know I seem hard on Ennis, but this happens so many times when someone loves someone else, we hurt them, why? To find out if we matter to another human being, that we're important to someone else, so we take away the one thing that we know the other wants. Ennis knew how to twist Jack's mind.
Manhattangirl
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Interesting thought, manhattangirl. We do tend to hurt those we love many a time --many times for precisely the same reason you mentioned. It's part of being human. It could be unconscious or unintentional, but it hurts all the same...
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Once again, wonderful posts from everyone. :)
And you're right, manhattangirl and tpe. I hadn't quite looked at it from that perspective. It is definitely unconscious on Ennis's part, imo. He is just blindly stumbling along the path he sees laid out for him (sometimes I think we can make it easier for ourselves if we tell ourselves we have no choice - it removes responsibility) but it absolutely hurts Jack just as much as it would if intentionally inflicted. A broken heart is just as broken regardless of intent.
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Well, in a sense, Ennis did the same thing with Alma, who was also on the receiving end. It is interesting to contrast Alma's and Jack's reactions, but we see the same fundamental hurt in both of them. Perhaps they should have confronted Ennis sooner. It may have helped.
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It's a little ironic that Jack and Alma both took their cues from Ennis and allowed him to control the relationships. And yet Ennis never had any sense of control over anything and in fact, felt trapped by what he saw as his set duty that he was 'stuck with'.
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The trouble with Ennis is that he's both blinkered and stubborn, so once setr on a course he sticks to it without looking to either side. If you're involved with someone like that, they control you without realizing it, but if you're closely involved there's little you can do except play by their rules. Alma eventually did the only thing possible in the circumstances - gave up on him. Jack loved him more so stuck around and took more - whether he'd have been driven to give up too we'll never know.
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Did Ennis realized how much pain this caused Jack? I suspect he did, but he felt helpless. Rather unfortunate, because he should have realized that he wasn't helpless. He did not have the will to choose...