Well, I agree with MPJ, people don’t realized how priceless what they have is until they loosing it, then, they changing, so Ennis took a powerful lesson, but how many people taking cooking lessons and never learn how to cook something good? I mean, you can learn something but you don’t know how to use it: there are a lot of people in love or feeling love but they just don’t know how to love, and I think Ennis was one of them; he felt so much love but he didn’t know how to express it or what doing with it. And also he have been doing everything in the same way for 40 years, so, though he learned a great lesson with Jack’s false death, it would be so difficult for him changing his habits and his way of thinking and feeling in just a few months. And besides, Thomas said: “It is possible for people to go back to their old ways”; and I think that’s true: when we do something wrong that complicate our life in any moment, we swear that we will never do it again, but when danger is gone, most of us, doing it again. So it would be possible that Ennis would do things in the same way as always when he would see that Jack was alive and safe. I don’t know….
Besides, if you’ve had during many years strong reasons (Earl and Rich) for not doing something (having a gay relationship), and then you see that doing that thing leads you to disaster (Jack’s false death) I think you never would do it again. Jack’s death was the confirmation of Ennis’ theory.
Anyway, what would you think about it if tire irons weren’t the problem? I mean, as I said in Tony’s topic, I’ve always thought that even if Ennis and Jack were living in big city, nowadays, with tolerant people, Ennis would do the same things in the same way, Ennis would be the same ashamed man, ‘cause the society wasn’t the real problem in BBM; Ennis was the real problem ‘cause he was ashamed of being gay (he hated queers), so he never wouldn’t be able to admit his love for Jack, although he were living in gay’s paradise. I think the Earl and Rich’s story was an excuse he told himself to deny his true fears. Of course, he was afraid of Earl’s death, but he was really afraid of his "abnormal" feelings…he was really ashamed of the fact he could be a queer. I think that Ennis changed in so many ways and I think that if Jack were alive he would do things better than before, but I also think that Ennis was still keeping without accept his sexuality; changing and loving Jack without fears is not the same than accepting you real sexuality. I think that he never would talk about it with somebody. So, for me, as long as Ennis don't accept his real gay condition he couldn't live openly with Jack or at least he couldn't have a fine and normal relationship with him, 'cause, if you are ashamed of loving somebody 'cause that fact changed you into a person who you are ashamed of being (queer), how could you try to do it again? Again, I don’t know….
Well, I think as Ennis loved Jack so much and so deeply, if he had a second chance he would do it all again and again (loving Jack, making love to him, quit jobs for him….), but sadly I’m not sure if he would live with Jack, at least, not in that place, and, maybe, not in that age……
I have a lot of ideas in my mind, but you know I can’t put them in English, sorry so much….

MPJ, yeah, yesterday you caught me……you caught me in some many ways......
