Lancecowboy, thanks for letting me off the hook for my eccentricities-that was very decent of you. On another thread, I went into personal
troubles, which a few of you may have read and, here, I would like to explain myself, cover some of that again, and then return to the topic.
Last year, I did experience severe harrassment from the feds after the Ariel Weinmann spy case, here in Norfolk. I did meet the guy in a
bizarre encounter, lasting 1/2 hour, during one of my exercise walks near the Naval Base, only I met him 3 days before the alleged date of arrest.
Worse, I have a Russian studies background and was very close to the Glen Souther spy case, also here in Norfolk. In some ways, my life
as I had known it was destroyed, last year, and under the pounding by the feds, psychological waterboarding, the only way I could survive was
by developing my already absurd sense of humor. That is why I sometimes post stuff that is a little whacky--it's inappropriate here, but it is
how I kept my sanity (assuming I did keep my sanity). I hope that explains the extremes in my sense of humor.
As to the Weinmann case, itself, it will never be broken because he downloaded something big and something small, and ran. The big was
that we spy on our allies through advanced computer technology, and he was furious about that. But the something small was that NCIS
and the local police had been, essentially, committing hate crimes against gays during the time period of 1970-1990. And they also had dirty
files on U.S. citizens (Weinmann was charged with stealing--"confidential biographies").
I was in those files and spoke to the FBI last year, who conceded an interest, admitted a file on me, but said I had been cleared and to
resume my walks. But the harrassment continued and I have had to review my entire life and that led me to the evidence of hate crimes.
But back to BBM, in reviewing my life, to see why I had been considered a security risk, also reviewed everything, just everything, and no
person should have to do that because you find out too much about yourself. And I remembered that I had been loved deeply by several
women and....several straight guys. Yup--straight guys. Whatever it was I had back then, I sure don't have it now-but those guys did love
me, were straight, and two of them told their wives to accept it. When I say straight-I mean straight- they had, like Ennis, zero interest
in other men. Zero. So that would explain why i do keep seeing Ennis, not as repressed gay, but as a very lonely straight guy, who found one
person who could understand him, and so that was who he loved.
Brokies, please forgive this post---please. But we bring to this forum who we are. And if by exposing myself as being too different and
maybe really not playing with a full deck-that's fine. But my sense of humor, maybe offensive to some, and BBM, itself, helped me survive
a year that should not have happened. And remembering those straight guys who fell in love with me, and who I basically rejected,
lets me know---love can happen in the strangest ways and I was a fool, for there are no lovers for me now. Still, I understand Ennis from
the point of view of those men, and you will always see that in my posts.
This is an awful morning for me, because am talking about myself, which we shouldn't do, exposing myself to ridicule, because of my tale
of troubles with the feds , and am hurting because every time I remember those that offered love-like Ennis-I put them off.
OK, it's also bad because I have to go to the dentist. At any rate, have tried to cover a bunch of stuff, my off-beat posts, what I bring
with me to the forum, having been mentally battered, and also the different perspective of unusual love that can show up in real life,
just as it did in BBM. I have hoped you guys would accept me and so far, you have. If this rambling post undermines that, oh well.....
We are who we are. I will try to stay directly on topic, from here on-just, sometimes, the hurts bust loose. Tony.
