I found Shekar Kapur's blog today. I didn't know he wrote one, and I found it accidentaly while I was googling Heath.
For anyone who doesn't know, Shekar Kapur was the director of Four Feathers, and a close friend of Heath. In the past three years Shekar had written several times about his friend, whom he obviously still misses a lot. I read all his posts about Heath, and they left me in tears... a couple of them I read before, because they were published in the press, but most of it was new to me. He wrote such beautiful things about Heath and they moved me to tears. He wrote about Heath the person, the friend, he wrote about his screen test for Four Feathers and how amazing Heath was, and he wrote about the special bond between them. I'm sure he will write something again this year, and I'll be waiting for it. Here is a compilation of his tributes:
Farewell, Heath ledgerWednesday, January 23rd, 2008
In Heath I have lost a younger brother.
He was one the most gentle, the most honest , most caring, and most compassionate persons I had met. And one of the most honest actors I worked with. I often told him that he had the ability to completely bare his soul in front of the camera, and all I needed to do was make sure the camera could look into his eyes, and through his eyes, the audience could clearly look into his soul. I last spoke to him the night before he died. I had just arrived in New York last night, he said he could not see me that night but really wanted to meet me the next day. he made me promise that I would call him in the morning and wake him up. I tried. Little did I know that his soul had already left his body.
Farewell Heath. I always knew you had an ancient soul. I always said you had a wisdom beyond your years. And somehow I always knew that your spirit was too restless. Goodbye, my brother.Heath Ledger did not commit suicideWednesday, January 30th, 2008
Heath is not amongst us, but is in our consciousness. Heath is no longer a physical embodiment, but exists eternally now. His laugh is not audible to my ears any more, but I can hear it in my heart. in my consciousness. And that is what I remember him most for. His laugh. Deep and felt. Like he knew God was laughing with him.
The world is more troubled by his death than I expected. Like a great soul has passed amongst us and we, caught up as we all are, in the the throes of everyday life, did not even recognize it when it was there!
But in that coming to terms with our loss, why do we sensationalize his death? why are we looking for dramatic escapes away from just a deep acceptance that ancient souls always leave us young?
Heath Ledger did not commit suicide. Period. He was the most extraordinarily courageous man I have ever known. …….
And the most optimistic. Someone that has such capacity to spread love and laughter does not deliberately throw his own life away. And if I was the last person to speak to him, I can vouch clearly that Heath was looking forward to the next day. He was looking forwards to meeting me, he was looking forward to discuss our next film together, he was looking forward to life and laughter the next day. Of course he would talk about his daughter. He always did. But so do I about my daughter. I too am separated from her mother.
When we were filming Four Feathers, he would laugh at me every time I threatened to walk out of the film. He would joke at my trivial complaints. He would slap me on the back every time he would see my shoulders stooped. He would pull off the most amazing stunts, and we would not warn anybody about them before. It was our little schoolboy prank. His physical endurance was amazing. Heath was far more than my actor. he was also my support system.
He called me his elder brother. I am not sure. Sometimes I felt that I could lean on the innate strength that was Heath Ledger. Such a man passed amongst us, and we talk of suicide? Of depression? Of drug overdose? Rather than learn from his existence. As I come to terms with his passing, I will write more about Heath, that’s a promise.
Heath Ledger and the Dark KnightMonday, July 21st, 2008
Now that the Dark Knight has broken all records at the BO, Heath left a legacy that is unforgettable. Angels do that. They visit us for short periods of time and cause huge impact on our consciousness. I always told Heath he was an ancient soul in a very young mind, a very young body. Angels, or Ancient Souls are never comfortable trapped in their human selves. They will make you restless and the need for honest creative expression of the deepest nature is a driving force. For those of you that knew his music, the other person that had that quality was Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. Who I did Bandit Queen with.
My screen test with Heath for Four Feathers lasted a whole day. He would often call me down the years and laugh his deep laughter, and remember that day with a lot of affection . It was a day of deep exploration between an actor and a director of each other…..
.. it was also the day I discovered the deeper wisdom of Heath’s soul. He was, after all, only 21.
I had decided to ask him perform a love scene from the film with a very accomplished actress who had just come to help out. First I made him sit in one place so he could not escape into any body language. Neither could the girl. I needed to see what happened to his eyes.
We then spoke of love and of true love. We spoke of Wisdom and what it really meant. We spoke of the meaning of true courage was based on how you lived. Not on dying a hero’s death on the battlefield. And then we spoke of how when you are really young love was about needing. Love was about taking. Love was about hunger. But as one gathers wisdom, love becomes about giving. The more you gave, the stronger you became.
And then I made him perform the scene. First as a very young man that he was. Full of joy, anticipation and yearning. Impatient, eager and impetuous. This was the Heath we had seen. Why he was such a star amongst teenagers. He was sexy and thoroughly endearing.
But then I changed the nature of the scene. Not the dialogue. Not even the body postures. But asked Heath to perform it with Wisdom. Perform it older. Stiller. With greater strength, as a young man who had come to terms with himself and his place in the Universe.
And the transformation was fascinating and hypnotic. His eyes changed. His voice changed. His breathing changed. He began to exude strength. And it was then in his eyes I saw the old soul appear.
It was then that I knew we were in the presence of not only a great actor, but a human being with potential to affect the consciousness of people.Did Heath Ledger really leave us a year ago?Friday, January 23rd, 2009
The New York Post asked me to write a tribute to Heath Ledger on the anniversary of his passing. It seems just yestrday.
Time, say philosophers, mystics and quantum scientists is an illusion. Before the Big Bang there was Eternity. Beginnings and Ends are just means to contextualize our lives within our limited perceptions of a world that surrounds us.
Every now and again a human being is born to remind us of Eternity. Heath Ledger was amongst those, who we quietly whisper prayers for in our quite moments, wish for in our dreams and in have a special place for our every day thoughts. God knows how many people in this world still carry the pain of the loss of him. Why did a man who lived amongst us for such a short time, and did such few films, leave such a huge imprint upon us when he left ? I have people writing letters on this blog who had never seen a Heath Ledger film, who were not fans, but felt the shock and impact of the loss of Heath Ledger. Everyday ordinary people that a year later are still coming to terms with his passing?
Like he was an Angel.Or the Dark Knight. In which Heath left indelible impressions of incredible humanity behind the garb of evil. So much that people went back again and again to the theatres to experience the presence of Heath Ledger. I remember a conversation with Robert Richardson the DP of Four Feathers ” Just make sure that the audience are able to look into Heath’s eyes. They tell a story of ancient wisdom and all of humanity”. Not an easy job for a DP when Heath would so easily break into an Australian crinkle and narrow his eyes, so that the point of light so carefully put by the DP would search desperately for their subject ! I used to tell Heath that he was an ancient soul in a youthful body and mind. That his struggle was between the ancient wisdom he carried in his soul and the coming to terms with youth.
That struggle showed and I was the ‘brother from another mother’ as he called me, that embraced him at those moments.
I wish I was there to embrace him when he passed away. I was so close. But then, it was not meant to be. In his passing he left behind his indelible footprint. As I write this piece I hear that Heath has been nominated for the Oscars.
Wherever you are Heath, I can see you crinkling your eyes and laughing your deep laughter and saying ” Hey brother, what d you think of that?” Nothing more, nothing less. Everything just was, is, and will be. In Eternity.
Heath Ledger, have two years passed?Friday, January 22nd, 2010
It’s 5.20 am and am struggling to sleep in my hotel room in San Hose. Jet lag ? No, something else is nagging me – and then it comes like a bolt, a sudden sharp, almost physical feeling of sadness. It Heath’s 2nd Anniversary of his passing.
For those that know this blog, will know of my special relationship with Heath. Well, that survives time. Even through the sadness and heavy heart I sense him laughing and smiling almost looking down and saying “Get on with it, Mate !”
Lots of other things come to mind. What do two years mean ? What does passing of time mean ? How little or more have I achieved in the last two years. How productive have I been – and all this on context of Heath’s passing as if time stopped there and started again ? Is what you have done, or what has happened, or the events that have taken place since the only measure of time ? Or is there something far more eternal about time ?
Tonight I am going to LA and having dinner with Orlando Bloom. The last time we met was in Heath’s friend’s pad in Melbourne, where Heath was proudly showing a rough cut of Four Feathers to all his friends. So proud was he of his performance in a film that actually did very little at the box office.
So I am just going to look up at Heath’s smiling face and say “Hey, Mate ! We are still down here trying understand it all” Trying to imitate his broad Australian drawl.
Here is the link to Shekar Kapur's blog:
http://shekharkapur.com/blog/
