Topic: The Ennis Quote of I Can't Stand This Anymore

[jeffjoe]

How sad it's the live, when the love is so much, and whe can't express freely, I Could't stand that anymore

[tpe]

How sad it's the live, when the love is so much, and whe can't express freely, I Could't stand that anymore

Many people live the burden every day.  Some will do it till the day they die.  Others will find a way, in due time.

Perhaps it is fate. 


Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some are Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.



 

[welshwitch]

So he puts Alma Jr's sweater away in the same place that he keeps the shirts and the picture of Brokeback - the inner sanctum of the trailer, where his heart is.

In a way it's as if having lost Jack and not having to stand the stresses of the ongoing relationship, he's come out on the other side less conflicted than he was when Jack was alive.

[gimmejack]

SO painful to recall his scene...Ennis can't stand seeing Jack only a couple times a year.  He can't stand the fear that causes them to hide and meet in their seclusion.  He can't stand loving him so much that he has lost so many jobs and his marriage as well. 

In a way he blames Jack for his not amounting to anything because of the financial sacrifices he has made.  He feels he is nowhere and may be a bit envious of Jacks free spirit...willingness to travel, relocate, try new things.  All in all,l I think Ennis just feels he cant stand that he is a slave to his fears.  He is in no way saying he no longer wants to be with Jack...in fact just the opposite.  He wants so much more and after he spills his heart out, he later requests the November meeting.  I so believe that Ennis was coming around and contemplating the "sweet life".

That's all I can manage to ponder at this point...too sad  :\'(

[tpe]

SO painful to recall his scene...Ennis can't stand seeing Jack only a couple times a year.  He can't stand the fear that causes them to hide and meet in their seclusion.  He can't stand loving him so much that he has lost so many jobs and his marriage as well. 

In a way he blames Jack for his not amounting to anything because of the financial sacrifices he has made.  He feels he is nowhere and may be a bit envious of Jacks free spirit...willingness to travel, relocate, try new things.  All in all,l I think Ennis just feels he cant stand that he is a slave to his fears.  He is in no way saying he no longer wants to be with Jack...in fact just the opposite.  He wants so much more and after he spills his heart out, he later requests the November meeting.  I so believe that Ennis was coming around and contemplating the "sweet life".

That's all I can manage to ponder at this point...too sad  :\'(

Perhaps "I can't stand this anymore" could also mean this: that he cannot bear being a slave to his fears?

[gimmejack]

SO painful to recall his scene...Ennis can't stand seeing Jack only a couple times a year.  He can't stand the fear that causes them to hide and meet in their seclusion.  He can't stand loving him so much that he has lost so many jobs and his marriage as well. 

In a way he blames Jack for his not amounting to anything because of the financial sacrifices he has made.  He feels he is nowhere and may be a bit envious of Jacks free spirit...willingness to travel, relocate, try new things.  All in all,l I think Ennis just feels he cant stand that he is a slave to his fears.  He is in no way saying he no longer wants to be with Jack...in fact just the opposite.  He wants so much more and after he spills his heart out, he later requests the November meeting.  I so believe that Ennis was coming around and contemplating the "sweet life".

That's all I can manage to ponder at this point...too sad  :\'(

Perhaps "I can't stand this anymore" could also mean this: that he cannot bear being a slave to his fears?

Sad but true...

[welshwitch]

He says he can't stand it, though earlier he'd said one has to satnd what can't be fixed. The relationship is no way fixed after the last parting, but Ennis sends the card, not Jack. Ennis has decided he can stand it then.

[NoReins]

He says he can't stand it, though earlier he'd said one has to satnd what can't be fixed. The relationship is no way fixed after the last parting, but Ennis sends the card, not Jack. Ennis has decided he can stand it then.

Blimey - how come I didn't spot that before? Thanks, welshwitch.

[tpe]

He says he can't stand it, though earlier he'd said one has to satnd what can't be fixed. The relationship is no way fixed after the last parting, but Ennis sends the card, not Jack. Ennis has decided he can stand it then.

Blimey - how come I didn't spot that before? Thanks, welshwitch.

Yes, "I can't stand it anymore" is an addition from the screenplay, no?  The reference is made in direct counterpoint to "If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."  "I can't stand it anymore" is Ennis's admission at that vulnerable moment that he can neither fix it nor can he stand it.  It is an indirect admission that he needed Jack in order to stand it.  That is perhaps why he continues to dream about Jack when the latter is dead...  He NEEDS to dream about Jack -- most especially in a time when he has no other choice but to "stand" it.

 

[MississaugaRed]

He says he can't stand it, though earlier he'd said one has to satnd what can't be fixed. The relationship is no way fixed after the last parting, but Ennis sends the card, not Jack. Ennis has decided he can stand it then.

Blimey - how come I didn't spot that before? Thanks, welshwitch.

Yes, "I can't stand it anymore" is an addition from the screenplay, no?  The reference is made in direct counterpoint to "If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."  "I can't stand it anymore" is Ennis's admission at that vulnerable moment that he can neither fix it nor can he stand it.  It is an indirect admission that he needed Jack in order to stand it.  That is perhaps why he continues to dream about Jack when the latter is dead...  He NEEDS to dream about Jack -- most especially in a time when he has no other choice but to "stand" it.

 

And he has to stand it after hearing the words from Jack "Sometimes I miss you so much, I can hardly stand it". 

I wonder if Ennis believed all those years that it would be he himself who would break first?  To hear Jack say this to him must have scared Ennis as much as it moved him.   Jack was admitting that he was struggling with the pain of their separations, that it had become almost too much to bear at times.  I think Ennis had always counted on Jack's steadfastness, on Jack's strength.  Makes me think, even if Ennis never consciously admitted it to himself, that he had a bone-deep belief that Jack loved him completely, would always be there for him.  It would have been the bedrock of his life.

Now, not only does he have to "stand it" knowing he'll never hold Jack again, he has to do it with eyes clear to exactly how much Jack loved him, no hiding this knowledge in the subconscious when those bloodied shirts are hanging in his closet.  And he has to "stand it" wondering if even Jack's lifelong love for Ennis might have (maybe, just maybe) eventually been beaten into retreat, from Ennis's repeated refusals to move their relationship past a few stolen weeks each year.

It was a heavy burden Ennis was left with; the proof of true love possessed, the reality of true love lost - and the spector of true love one day abandoned.   

[welshwitch]

And although it's neither in the ss nor the movie, the uneasy feeling that if he'd done what Jack wanted and built a life with him, Jack might not have ended up dead ( whether by accident or murder).

[MississaugaRed]

And although it's neither in the ss nor the movie, the uneasy feeling that if he'd done what Jack wanted and built a life with him, Jack might not have ended up dead ( whether by accident or murder).

The worst.  Hindsight = 20/20.

We somehow learn to forgive ourselves for not being able to see into the future.  Hopefully Ennis comes to terms with that some day, but still ... the price he and Jack paid was far too high.  How much must one man be made to stand?

[tpe]

And he has to stand it after hearing the words from Jack "Sometimes I miss you so much, I can hardly stand it". 

I wonder if Ennis believed all those years that it would be he himself who would break first?  To hear Jack say this to him must have scared Ennis as much as it moved him.   Jack was admitting that he was struggling with the pain of their separations, that it had become almost too much to bear at times.  I think Ennis had always counted on Jack's steadfastness, on Jack's strength.  Makes me think, even if Ennis never consciously admitted it to himself, that he had a bone-deep belief that Jack loved him completely, would always be there for him.  It would have been the bedrock of his life.

Now, not only does he have to "stand it" knowing he'll never hold Jack again, he has to do it with eyes clear to exactly how much Jack loved him, no hiding this knowledge in the subconscious when those bloodied shirts are hanging in his closet.  And he has to "stand it" wondering if even Jack's lifelong love for Ennis might have (maybe, just maybe) eventually been beaten into retreat, from Ennis's repeated refusals to move their relationship past a few stolen weeks each year.

It was a heavy burden Ennis was left with; the proof of true love possessed, the reality of true love lost - and the spector of true love one day abandoned.   

The watching, the endurance, the precious love, the anguish, the patiently yielded life.

(Whitman)

[Rosie]

I've loved reading your interpretations of this scene as it is my absolute favourite in the whole movie. I couldn't resist adding my own.

I think that this quote of Ennis' changes EVERYTHING. I think that up to this point Jack is contemplating giving up on Ennis and trying to create a life with Randall, but he is in the process of thinking about it, the decision has NOT already been made. The reason I think this is that at the start of the scene they are in the car park getting ready to separate again. Jack has told Ennis on this trip that he misses him so bad sometimes that he can hardly stand it. I believe that was him trying to get something out of Ennis, an admission on Ennis' part, a discussion or something, whatever -  he didn't get it. He didn't say then that enough was enough, and in the car park one of the reasons that Jack was so annoyed with Ennis was that he had left it right to the last minute to tell him something big, -  that they wouldn't be able to meet up in August. So it seems to me that Jack would use that same logic on himself and have mentioned it to Ennis sooner if he himself wanted him to know that he was thinking about ending it. I think he was, but he wanted to work it through in his own mind first. Maybe he wanted to process what had happened this time with Ennis not responding to what he had said about missing him. Maybe he wanted to check with Randall and make definite plans with him, maybe he just wanted to be sure in his own mind.

The fact that Jacks dad tells Ennis later that Jack had 'got another one he's gonna bring here' doesn't mean anything to me. (Because Jacks dad also said that Jack was always saying 'Ennis Del Mar, one of these days, we're gonna move up here and lick this place into shape' or words to that effect. But he had never said so to Ennis, it was just Jack 'thinking out loud' again. I'll say why he might have said it later. I just want to say now that the fact that he did, didn't necessarily mean that he had discussed it with Randall).

So back to the car park... I think it was dissapointment and anger that made Jack blurt out that this was a bitch of an unsatisfactory situation and show how he was feeling about it before he was really ready to do so. Then they got into the Mexico thing with Jack finally revealing to Ennis that he had 'no idea how bad it gets' and that he wished he could quit Ennis. They are both showing more truth and emotion to each other than ever before and I think that when Ennis breaks down, and Jack turns around to go to him, his face is saying 'oh Ennis, I still love you, god help me, I can't quit you' and then the 'damn you' means 'I can't leave you - what am I gonna do now'
Ennis saying 'I can't stand this anymore Jack' changes everything now because it lets Jack know that he's not the only one who can't go on. This MUST change how Jack thinks because before he's been working on the assumption that Ennis would just carry on as it was. Now he knows that he can't either. We are seriously hampered in our interpretations by not seeing what happened next, how they left each other. The flash back scene here is just too heartbreaking to go into. :\'(  But Jacks face when we go back to it, still shows despair, anger at Ennis' waste of what they could have had, anger, still, at Ennis and the fact that still nothing was resolved. I don't think that Jack himself knew what was going to happen.

When you make life changing decisions, your mood can affect what you are deciding from minute to minute, never mind day to day, and I think that when he went to his mum and dads place straight after this, he was still up in the air about what to do himself. He may have said to his dad that he was leaving his wife and coming to stay with a rancher from Texas, but that was just one of his options, and he's said it when he was feeling pessiimistic. But we know that Jack is an optimist by nature, so he must have had optimistic moments too when he thought differently.  He definitely had decided that something was going to change and I think it would have, but I think that when he had calmed down, he would have waited till he saw Ennis again to make the final decision about what he was going to do. Ennis HAD decided that he could stand at least one more meeting with Jack because he sent the postcard. It is ovbious that any meeting they had after would involve a serious discussion about their future, and if Ennis refused to talk about it or make changes then Jack would tell him then it was over. But I can't believe that he would just move up to Lightning Flats with Randall without giving Ennis time to think about the situation now that it was out in the open. Ennis had just told him that he couldn't stand it either, so he knew SOMETHING was going to change, it was not going to carry on as before, so after waiting 20 years for Ennis surely he would have waited to see what Ennis came up with. Even more honesty would be a step forward. He knew that it had taken Ennis time to realise that first year that Jack WAS what he wanted, in between now and November he must have known that Ennis would have been doing a lot of thinking.

Both of them would have had time to calm down and really think about the situation calmly and come to some decisions. I think what was said on the day, or to Jacks parents immediately after that last meeting, was just the aftermath of all the emotion, not calmly thought out decisions.

So because Jack died before they got the chance to meet again, we will never know what would have happened. But we do find out that finding the shirts and losing Jack did change Ennis. I don't think that if he had met Jack again Ennis would have been in any doubt that Jack really loved him, because Jack would have told him. At that point they would have been past holding anything back, both knowing that it was a critical meeting. So I like to think that Jack would have waited for Ennis, and that Ennis would have had time to realise just what Jack meant to him and how close he was to losing him, and do something about it.  Even if it had to be in a couple of years when his child support had ended. I'd love to think that Ennis would have told him that it was time to put themselves first and finally be together.

So the statement 'I can't stand this anymore Jack' did change everything because I think that when he calmed down it showed Jack that something was going to change. He couldn't know until he met Ennis whether it would be good or bad but he surely couldn't have not waited to find out.
Whew! that was long winded! But then nothing I ever think about this film is straight forward-theres just SO MUCH to think about! So basically I''m with the 'if you can't fix it you just gotta stand it = if you can't stand it you just gotta fix it' camp!

Rosie
x

[lamusica]

The sad thing is, we will never know what their relationship could have morphed into because Jack dies.  We know Ennis still intended to carry on as before because he wrote the postcard to Jack about meeting in November, but we do not really know what Jack intended.  We just assume he intended to come back to meet Ennis again, but..... we all know how that idea got smashed.  I prefer to think that Jack would have come back in November and they would have carried on in the same vane as before.  I just do not see signs of Ennis changing.  (If Jack had lived, I mean.)  Since Jack died, I DO think Ennis might have changed and tried to make a fresh start in some ways. Whether or not that meant a woman, or allowing anyone new into his life, I don't speculate, but he did seem to open up to Alma, Jr. a bit.  Maybe that was a good sign that he was not totally lost forever in loneliness.

[tpe]

Thanks Rosie.  Many of the things you have said resonate with me, but the one that really struck me is your comment that Jack himself didn't know what was going to happen next.   This is very human: to be at a loss of what to do when faced with an untenable situation that you cannot live without.  I would ever daresay that Jack never really knew exactly where he was leading himself between the last meeting and the point when he died.  He probably planned for changes, and was resigned to certain things.  But like life itself, decisions and plans rest on a dense cloud of unknowing.  He must have realized that he himself was not entirely in control.  For even if Jack may have been resolved to do certain actions, his heart was most certainly far from secure.

[Rosie]

I just must add that I think Jake Gyllenhaals acting in this scene is out of this world. The expression  on his face when he raises his hands and goes to Ennis, and the face of love in the flashback scene should have won him an Oscar. You know I read somewhere once that when you are young, all the doors are open to you, all lifes opportunities, an that as you age all the doors start closing. When I look at that young face in the flashback it always makes me cry, for the sheer beauty of it (and Jake Gyllenhaal is truly beautiful) the love in it but most of all, because at thattime all the doors are open, the possibilities are endless. To go then to the older face, where all the doors at that moment seem to him to be shut, just breaks my heart. Especially knowing what we do. Sorry I know that's  I just couldn't help it.

[aintfoolin]

Having to juggle ex-wife,kids,jobs,child support,lying paranoia, secrets, suspicions, Mexico. And now the threat of loosing the love of your life, I could'nt take either. Breakdown.  Poor Ennis.

[tpe]

I just must add that I think Jake Gyllenhaals acting in this scene is out of this world. The expression  on his face when he raises his hands and goes to Ennis, and the face of love in the flashback scene should have won him an Oscar. You know I read somewhere once that when you are young, all the doors are open to you, all lifes opportunities, an that as you age all the doors start closing. When I look at that young face in the flashback it always makes me cry, for the sheer beauty of it (and Jake Gyllenhaal is truly beautiful) the love in it but most of all, because at thattime all the doors are open, the possibilities are endless. To go then to the older face, where all the doors at that moment seem to him to be shut, just breaks my heart. Especially knowing what we do. Sorry I know that's  I just couldn't help it.

Some of us close a door by our own volition.  Others find the door slammed shut in their faces.  Still others never see the door when it's open, and only see it when it is closed.

And then there is Jack, who sees the door close slowly through the years.

I love Jake Gyllenhaal's Jack Twist.  I have said this many times.  I never tire of giving out the reasons why.  Perhaps one reason is appropriate to give out in this thread, and it is this:  seeing his portrait of Jack Twist is akin to drowning -- you thank God for every breath of air that you take, for for every glimpse of sky that you manage to steal, before going under. 

It is at this point of hopelessness and defeat that we get to see Jack in all the anger, passion, and the vast profoundity of love that only life can give, and that death cannot fully erase.   Jake Gyllenhaal's sensitive portrayal infroms us, with so much beauty, subtlety, and economy, that love can survive all: survive the death of dreams, survive the death of will, survive the death of hope itself.



 

[gimmejack]

I've loved reading your interpretations of this scene as it is my absolute favourite in the whole movie. I couldn't resist adding my own.

I think that this quote of Ennis' changes EVERYTHING. I think that up to this point Jack is contemplating giving up on Ennis and trying to create a life with Randall, but he is in the process of thinking about it, the decision has NOT already been made. The reason I think this is that at the start of the scene they are in the car park getting ready to separate again. Jack has told Ennis on this trip that he misses him so bad sometimes that he can hardly stand it. I believe that was him trying to get something out of Ennis, an admission on Ennis' part, a discussion or something, whatever -  he didn't get it. He didn't say then that enough was enough, and in the car park one of the reasons that Jack was so annoyed with Ennis was that he had left it right to the last minute to tell him something big, -  that they wouldn't be able to meet up in August. So it seems to me that Jack would use that same logic on himself and have mentioned it to Ennis sooner if he himself wanted him to know that he was thinking about ending it. I think he was, but he wanted to work it through in his own mind first. Maybe he wanted to process what had happened this time with Ennis not responding to what he had said about missing him. Maybe he wanted to check with Randall and make definite plans with him, maybe he just wanted to be sure in his own mind.

The fact that Jacks dad tells Ennis later that Jack had 'got another one he's gonna bring here' doesn't mean anything to me. (Because Jacks dad also said that Jack was always saying 'Ennis Del Mar, one of these days, we're gonna move up here and lick this place into shape' or words to that effect. But he had never said so to Ennis, it was just Jack 'thinking out loud' again. I'll say why he might have said it later. I just want to say now that the fact that he did, didn't necessarily mean that he had discussed it with Randall).

So back to the car park... I think it was dissapointment and anger that made Jack blurt out that this was a bitch of an unsatisfactory situation and show how he was feeling about it before he was really ready to do so. Then they got into the Mexico thing with Jack finally revealing to Ennis that he had 'no idea how bad it gets' and that he wished he could quit Ennis. They are both showing more truth and emotion to each other than ever before and I think that when Ennis breaks down, and Jack turns around to go to him, his face is saying 'oh Ennis, I still love you, god help me, I can't quit you' and then the 'damn you' means 'I can't leave you - what am I gonna do now'
Ennis saying 'I can't stand this anymore Jack' changes everything now because it lets Jack know that he's not the only one who can't go on. This MUST change how Jack thinks because before he's been working on the assumption that Ennis would just carry on as it was. Now he knows that he can't either. We are seriously hampered in our interpretations by not seeing what happened next, how they left each other. The flash back scene here is just too heartbreaking to go into. :\'(  But Jacks face when we go back to it, still shows despair, anger at Ennis' waste of what they could have had, anger, still, at Ennis and the fact that still nothing was resolved. I don't think that Jack himself knew what was going to happen.

When you make life changing decisions, your mood can affect what you are deciding from minute to minute, never mind day to day, and I think that when he went to his mum and dads place straight after this, he was still up in the air about what to do himself. He may have said to his dad that he was leaving his wife and coming to stay with a rancher from Texas, but that was just one of his options, and he's said it when he was feeling pessiimistic. But we know that Jack is an optimist by nature, so he must have had optimistic moments too when he thought differently.  He definitely had decided that something was going to change and I think it would have, but I think that when he had calmed down, he would have waited till he saw Ennis again to make the final decision about what he was going to do. Ennis HAD decided that he could stand at least one more meeting with Jack because he sent the postcard. It is ovbious that any meeting they had after would involve a serious discussion about their future, and if Ennis refused to talk about it or make changes then Jack would tell him then it was over. But I can't believe that he would just move up to Lightning Flats with Randall without giving Ennis time to think about the situation now that it was out in the open. Ennis had just told him that he couldn't stand it either, so he knew SOMETHING was going to change, it was not going to carry on as before, so after waiting 20 years for Ennis surely he would have waited to see what Ennis came up with. Even more honesty would be a step forward. He knew that it had taken Ennis time to realise that first year that Jack WAS what he wanted, in between now and November he must have known that Ennis would have been doing a lot of thinking.

Both of them would have had time to calm down and really think about the situation calmly and come to some decisions. I think what was said on the day, or to Jacks parents immediately after that last meeting, was just the aftermath of all the emotion, not calmly thought out decisions.

So because Jack died before they got the chance to meet again, we will never know what would have happened. But we do find out that finding the shirts and losing Jack did change Ennis. I don't think that if he had met Jack again Ennis would have been in any doubt that Jack really loved him, because Jack would have told him. At that point they would have been past holding anything back, both knowing that it was a critical meeting. So I like to think that Jack would have waited for Ennis, and that Ennis would have had time to realise just what Jack meant to him and how close he was to losing him, and do something about it.  Even if it had to be in a couple of years when his child support had ended. I'd love to think that Ennis would have told him that it was time to put themselves first and finally be together.

So the statement 'I can't stand this anymore Jack' did change everything because I think that when he calmed down it showed Jack that something was going to change. He couldn't know until he met Ennis whether it would be good or bad but he surely couldn't have not waited to find out.
Whew! that was long winded! But then nothing I ever think about this film is straight forward-theres just SO MUCH to think about! So basically I''m with the 'if you can't fix it you just gotta stand it = if you can't stand it you just gotta fix it' camp!

Rosie
x

WOW, very well thought out post...reduced me to tears... :\'(

[welshwitch]

All those years ago Jack asked, "What are we gonna do now?" After so long, Ennis's only answer is , "I honestly can't stand this any more, Jack," and he drives away, leaving Jack behind thinking God knows what. What he apparently tells his father immediately after this must come out of hurt and loneliness, but also out of a sense that he may have lost Ennis for good. Although Jack tells lies, Ennis doesn't; Jack evidently believes him for the moment at least. It's Ennis who sends the card; we don;t know what Jack's response would have been but given what he's been through already it's hard to doubt that love would allow him to go on.

[Rosie]

I just have to think that they would have stayed together, it's just too painful to think anything else. I  think that Ennis already knew how much Jack loved him, and Jack knew how much Ennis loved him back, he knew the love was there, but he knew that Ennis just couldn't bring it out openly to either Jack or himself. But surely they were getting too old and tired to keep up the mucking about and pretense. This scene shows the toll that the life they were leading had taken on both of them.
The ride was nearly over. That it was brought to a premature end by Jacks death, before either of them could say their piece to each other and just for once let the other one hear the words of love, no matter what the outcome, is truly heartbreaking.
Well, we're all crying now!

[welshwitch]

"Too old" at 39?

But it does seem as though constant meetings on camping trips would become less feasible as they eventuslly aged and might have looked more suspicious tooo, specially as Jack became more prosperous. (But that's probably me - can never see why people want to camp - looks like a kind of regresion  to me). I can see that they may want to re-create their early experiences but they could hardly give that to anyone else as a reason.

In any case I think it's the whole thing Ennis can't stand, for the moment. The topics they have to pussyfoot around, the sense of pressure to respond to comments like Jack's " sometimes I miss you...", the inevitable partings, the suspicions and resentments , the whole thing. Then on top of that the knowledge ( no longer a suspicion) that Jack has been looking elsewhere.

[Rosie]

I do think that they both can't stand it anymore. What do you think Ennis would have done about it? We know that Jack wanted more, but if Ennis had wanted to end it, he would have had to move on. If Jack got what he wanted the looking elsewhere would end, so would the partings and suspicions. But it would mean that Ennis would have to deal with coming out to himself and everyone else. Do you think he would?

[welshwitch]

My head says no, my heart says yes. My literary text-analyzing self says no too.

[monicita]

My opinion is that the movie shows brilliantly that Ennis is the kind of man who would never have been able to get out of his rut, but for a major shock like Jack's death. I think he would have needed therapy to get to the point of coming out. And what chance of that was there? No money, none but the haziest idea what therapy is about, probably. This is the tragedy shown so wonderfully in the movie: Even in the 80ies even NOW, many people, especially men, lead their lives in an emotional prison. Most of them never manage to get out of it, some get glimpses of what freedom might be like (as Ennis did), but are too scared and too scarred to dare cross the divide. Even so, Ennis has known deep, devoted love and nobody can take that away from him.

monicita

[NoReins]

My opinion is that the movie shows brilliantly that Ennis is the kind of man who would never have been able to get out of his rut, but for a major shock like Jack's death.

I was thinking about this last night (there really is no escape from this story) and I was wondering if there was anything Jack could have done to force Ennis to admit his feelings (as I think we agree he does when he hears of Jack's death) I agree that it would have taken a major shock and I think there are two things that might have done that - Jack could have told him he loved him, forcing Ennis to face what had been unsaid all those years, or he could have let Ennis find out about the shirts. Maybe it's just me (I'm sure you'll all tell me if it is!) but I have a real strong feeling that both of those things would have made Ennis stop in his tracks and realise just what he had and just what he was risking losing.

Oh, and sorry if this is slightly OT....

[Rosie]

I hope I've inserted your above quote NoReins (but I know I probably haven't - I'm useless at this) but I just wanted to say that I agree with you. I do think that once Ennis had had time to realise that he might lose Jack to someone else who could give him more it would be shock enough to make him stop in his tracks as you say. He had all that time to wonder what Jack was doing now, now that he knew that he did go to Mexico etc., and surely the jealousy would be eating him up. That might be why he sends the postcard about meeting again in November, to make sure Jack knows that he can stand it, he will be there, he wants to see Jack. Even knowing about some of the rest. Maybe letting him know that he was accepting that they would have to talk and make some serious changes. So I'm with you. Maybe we're both just old romantics at heart!

[MississaugaRed]

My opinion is that the movie shows brilliantly that Ennis is the kind of man who would never have been able to get out of his rut, but for a major shock like Jack's death.

I was thinking about this last night (there really is no escape from this story) and I was wondering if there was anything Jack could have done to force Ennis to admit his feelings (as I think we agree he does when he hears of Jack's death) I agree that it would have taken a major shock and I think there are two things that might have done that - Jack could have told him he loved him, forcing Ennis to face what had been unsaid all those years, or he could have let Ennis find out about the shirts. Maybe it's just me (I'm sure you'll all tell me if it is!) but I have a real strong feeling that both of those things would have made Ennis stop in his tracks and realise just what he had and just what he was risking losing.

Oh, and sorry if this is slightly OT....

I never, never ever, get tired of reading all the comments and interpretations of this scene!

NoReins, IMO, this scene is the culmination of 20 years of love and frustration, so  I think discussing it is likely to lead us just about anywhere in their story.  "I can't stand it anymore" didn't come out of thin air, after all. 

This line triggers pain and hopes and wishes and ideas that may seem OT on the surface until you think about where "can't stand it" comes from.  What you just said, for instance ... If this tirade from Jack doesn't shock Ennis into making changes in the future (if only they had the time to find out!) then it seems right that you speculate on what might have been shock enough ... and I appreciate your thoughts on the subject!

Just my opinion, since I've gained so many insights into every part of BBM from discussion of this one short sentence.

Of course ... I'm no moderator, so what do I know!    Just can't quit this thread, is all!  Keep it comin'! 

[welshwitch]

Another thing s that neither apparently tries to get in touch with the other for some time after this. I know we don't know when Jack dies, but it's likely not immediately as he goes to Lightning Flat, gets back to Childress, etc., and there would have been time for either one to send a postcard. So maybe they were both waiting, afraid to make the first move, then Ennis does and it's too late.