Tpe has brought out, again, the balancing act for Ennis or, the equilibrium. But what was that balancing act? IMO, it is simplistic and
shallow to write it off to a repressed gay trying to think of himself as straight and also avoiding hassle from the homophobic culture, while
still having an affair on the side.
Ennis HAD come to terms with his need for Jack, which included the sexual, but which was so much more--companionship, being
completely accepted, as he was, by one other human being. As for his being in the closet, bull crap---he had a practical understanding
he couldn't change the world as it was out there, so he was discreet. That he had come to terms with his sexuality with Jack is very
evident in his patient, extremely mature, and almost casual hearing-out of Jack's father's words: "Brokeback Mountain--I know where
that is.." Read that-- I know what that is and about you and my son. Ennis doesn't cover up or protest at the coded, telegraphed
words from Twist, Sr.,---but calmly and TOLERANTLY accepts them. This, then, is a man who isn't ashamed. In turmoil, yes, but never
ashamed.
Maybe it's not a question, then of a balancing act. Maybe it's----paralysis. Every option blocked off. Couldn't leave his children just
yet. Had to earn a living where he was. And no matter what reassurances Jack gave, he never could trust Jack completely, with his
heart---remember, it was Jack that seemed to blow off that first summer as a fling, and Ennis who went to brood on the hill, desolate.
Jack sent mixed messages. And then again, how much of what Jack wanted was sex, rather than a love that could never die? Which was
what Ennis needed, and he didn't know, until too late, that it was fully there.
So, maybe--paralysis, which is debilitating. Jack had gone on to be successful, financially, and had a larger social life-Jack wasn't
paralyzed-he was going all over the place. But notice what Ennis says in the confrontation scene---it's because of you I'm like this--
(and he doesn't mean--gay). He says- he ain't nobody, he's got nothing- all because of Jack. Hell of an accusation. Didn't say
anything about sex. Said everything about personal decline and, if you will,---paralysis.
Maybe then, balancing act covers a lot and is useful. But paralysis, inability to make a move--too much risk, covers a lot more.
Sometimes I wish people who love both of these heroes, would back off and give Ennis more of a break. Not saying he isn't loved-
but it's like everybody has an agenda that it's all Ennis fault- he wouldn't join the gay liberation movement and move to San Francisco
with Jack, there to be totally free. Give him a break. Maybe he was more advanced than given credit for.
Oh, yeah-aintfooling-am picketting your house through cyberspace with my sign: "Ennis would too bottom!" If the neighbors are
annoyed-will stop. Tony.