First, I'll say that I didn't know what to expect. Before buying the movie, I really didn't know what it was about. I mean, I knew that it was about 'two cowboys falling in love,' but aside from that, I didn't know much about the plot. I had heard all the hype, though. So I was excited to see it.
Generally, movies with a big hype tend to let me down. When I hear such brilliant things, my mind tends to overexaggerate the possible greatness to an extent that when I finally break down and watch it, it never lives up to my expectations.
And then I watched "Brokeback Mountain" today. And let me tell you... wow.
For about the first hour after watching it, I truly think that was nearly the only word that could come to my lips. Simply 'wow.' No 'that was great,' no 'that was incredible!' Just... wow. Almost sixteen hours have passed since I watched it, and still, it's on my mind. The story was so vast and so epic and so engrossing that when the credits rolled, I found myself saying, "It's over already? But.. it can't be!" I suppose that's the sign of a really good movie. One that leaves you with questions and analyzations hours after you've finished watching it.
I'm still frustrated with that sad ending, though. I feel somehow like it was my own relationship that ended so tragically, and I'm just not going to be happy unless there's a happy ending -- as cliche as that is, I know. Truth be told, though, if there was a happy ending, the movie wouldn't have made as much of an emotional impact on me as it did. And perhaps even more importantly, it would've lost some of its purpose. So, sometimes "and they lived happily ever after" isn't always the wisest choice.
The emotions that this movie stirred inside of me were emotions that I don't think I had tapped into for quite a while. It made me uneasy, it made me comfortable with myself, it made me uncomfortable with myself. It made me question and it made me yearn. And it made me feel lonely. I've always wanted that kind of love, that Jack and Ennis kind of love. Even with the tragedy and the star-crossed obstacles, I want that kind of love. That emcompassing, completely engrossing love and passion. And I saw it with these two characters, which seems to have reignited my own passions from within and yearning for that kind of closeness with another human being.
Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger were phenomenal. Their performances were so real, it took my breath away. They literally took my breath away. Michelle Williams was a powerhouse. In each of her scenes, I felt a lump in my throat and my heart seemed as if it was beating out of my chest. These three characters, above all overs, were what made this film an instant favorite of mine. Kudos to all of them and their remarkable, heartbreaking, heartspoken performances.
Somewhere in here, I've got to say how much I appreciated the gorgeous backdrop and scenery on Brokeback Mountain. So pretty and picturesque, it was the perfect beautiful setting to tell such a beautiful story.
So many scenes made me feel so many things, and I'd really just like to take a moment to dissect them...
I loved the early scenes, with Jack and Ennis getting to know one another. Not even romantically, just as buddies. There was a scene where they were both sitting around the fire, and Ennis was telling a story -- the first time we'd really heard him string more than three sentences together in the movie, being the quiet man that he was. And Jack's smile, noting that it was the first time he'd really heard Ennis talk that much. The glances were adorable! And speaking of Ennis's quiet demeanor, why is that? I tend to think that it's because he's a little unsure of himself, and with that comes fear -- causing the usual silence or reserved vocalization.
The first scene of Jack and Ennis making love in the tent was superb. Both of them lying there next to one another, and Jack reaches around in the middle of his sleep and pulls Ennis's arm around him, instantly waking them both up. Ennis pulls away suddenly, and Jack clings to him... they both looked as if they might have been half asleep while they did it as they unbuckled their pants and went to town. In the morning, after waking up, they probably both wondered, "Did that really happen, or was it all a dream?"
Their first conversation after that incident was also fantastic, with Ennis telling Jack that this is a "one-shot deal" they had going on there, and Jack's reply... it's nobody's business but theirs.
The second tent scene, with Jack shirtless as Ennis comes inside. Jack lifts up and kisses him, then cradles his head with his hands and pulls him down onto his chest. On top of being an incredibly passionate, hot, amazing scene, filled with the most palpable of sexual and romantic chemistry, it was romantic. This was really the first time that I really saw Jack as the true romantic that he was. Wanting something -- not sure what -- and reaching out so desperately for it. I swear, the amount of emotion that Jake Gyllenhall conveys with his eyes is unlike anything I've ever seen. In this film, he could rip my heart out without saying a word. And that's truly the sign of an exceptional actor.
The reunion, four years later. I loved Ennis pacing around the house, waiting for Jack to show up. And although in the film, it had only been ten minutes or so since we last saw them together at Brokeback, when it came to their reunion, it truly felt long overdue. When Jack pulled into the drive (and Ennis heard it), we saw Ennis hop over to the window to look out and see Jack down there. A slight smile came to his face as he quickly tucked in his shirt and rushed outside. "Jack f***in' Twist!" He rushed down the steps, Jack rushed to him, and they embraced to hard that I half expected one or both of them to fall over into the gravel. "Son of a bitch..." Oh God, their lips came so close to meeting. They looked around for .3 seconds, to survey their surroundings, then BOOM... Ennis pushes Jack up against the wall, holds his head in his hands and they have what I believe to be the hottest, most passionate, intense, WOW!! makeout scene in all of movie history. I mean, wow! WOW! That was incredible. They were holding close to one another so tightly, it seemed as if they held any tighter, they would burst like a balloon. And there was a moment in there, for about three seconds, when they're both holding one another's heads and staring into one another's eyes, and the look on Jake's face is amazing. He looks like he's about to burst into tears as he looks at Ennis so intensely, and it's as if they're both just instantly overcome with uncontrollable emotion. It was dramatic, romantic, sweeping and tragic all at once. The 'tragic' part, of course, happening when Ennis' wife Alma spied their makeout session from inside the house. In my opinion, the best overall scene in the movie. I was glued! And I rewound it nearly a dozen times before finally moving on to the rest of the film.
Then came the scene in the motel room. They're both smoking a cigarette, and Jack is holding Ennis in his arms. How touching it was to see Ennis, the more 'masculine' character, being held in Jack's arms. That's when Jack swore that he didn't expect them to get into this again, then jokingly says, "Oh, yes I did. I redlined it all the way, I couldn't get here fast enough." Then he continues with, "Old Brokeback got us good, didn't it?" Swoon! Take my breath away, stick a fork in me, I'm done!
Somewhere around here was a scene with Alma where she watched crying from the window, holding her daughter in her arms, as she watched Jack and Ennis drive away for a fishing trip. She knew what was really going to happen on the trip as tears filled her eyes and she watched them leave together. Michelle Williams was wonderful in this scene! That lip quiver gets me every time.
My heart broke in the scene where Jack told Ennis, "You know, it could be like this... just like this, always." He went on to explain how they could have a life together, but Ennis explained to him that he won't let that happen. It's too dangerous. How many of us can relate to this situation? Gay, straight, whatever... we can all relate to loving someone, and wanting nothing more than to be with them, but for whatever reason... you can't. I suppose that you can find some comfort in the ideal of "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Bittersweet. Jack explained that he's not happy with just getting together every now and then, every four years. "If you can't fix it, Jack, you've gotta stand it." And they did, for as long as they could ride it. Heartbreaking! You could see the possibility of happiness right in front of their faces, so close you could almost taste it, and yet so far away. I think that my heart skipped a beat a good two, three times in this scene alone.
Ennis's divorce. After hearing the news, Jack immediately came for Ennis. Whistling in his truck, he was happy and upbeat, sure his dreams were about to come true and he would finally have what he had waited so long for. Then when he arrived, and Ennis explained that things weren't going to happen the way he intended, Jack was crushed. The next time we saw him, he was driving away in the same truck he had just been whistling happily in moments before -- only now, he was in tears. I believe this was the first time I'd ever seen Jake Gyllenhall cry, and I was incredibly moved. Shit, I was fighting back tears, myself!
Was anyone else really turned on by Jack during the Thanksgiving Dinner scene? He turned off the television so that his son would eat his food rather than watch the television, while his jackass father-in-law turned the television back on, explaining that all young boys should watch football on TV to grow up and become 'real men.' Furious with his father-in-law's actions, Jack blew up, even threatening to knock his 'ignorant ass' into next week. Whoa! This was Jack with balls. And damn, it was sexy. Finally taking charge of something, making demands.
Later, there was a scene with Ennis and Jack -- now a bit older -- sitting in front of the lake, sharing a joint and some whiskey. And Jake had a line that he delivered so well, it gave me goosebumps. "Sometimes, I miss you so much I can hardly stand it." He said that such such pain in his voice, and it was another one of those 'take my breath away' scenes. By this point, I was coming to the realization that we weren't headed in any direction of a happy ending, so that line had even more weight to it than it would have earlier in the movie.
Then came what I believe was their final scene together. The goodbye in front of the lake. Ennis told Jack that he wouldn't be able to come back until November, upsetting Jack. He was tired of waiting, tired of yearning for him and missing him. It was tearing him up inside, and he finally just let it all out. In my opinion, this was Jake Gyllenhall's best performance in the entire movie. Frustrated and at his breaking point, he shouted (with sadness in his voice and tears in his eyes), "We could have had a good life together. A !@#$ real good life... but you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy... you count the damn few times that we have been together in nearly twenty years, and you measure the short !@#$ leash that you keep me on and then you ask me about Mexico and you tell me you'll kill me for needing something that I don't hardly never get! You have no idea how bad it gets!" Then came, in my opinion, the absolute best line of the movie. "I wish I knew how to quit you." Sweet Jesus, what a line! I mean, seriously. What a line. By this point, I was in tears. Not just sobbing, not just sniffling, but completely in tears. Then Ennis broke down, and Jack came to embrace him. They struggled with one another as they both dropped to the ground, holding one another tightly. And I've got a jump in my throat just thinking about it.
The entire last twenty minutes were almost too sad to watch. In all honesty, it got to the point that I almost shut the movie off because I couldn't handle the emotion. I felt like a complete idiot, sitting here on my couch in tears staring at my television. I came thisclose to just turning it off and finishing it later, but I kept watching, anyway. Like a trainwreck, you can't help but watch.
So, here it is. The hardest part of the movie to watch. Ennis visiting with Jack's parents. They allow him to go up to Jack's bedroom, and that's where he finds their shirts hanging together in the closet, with one tucked inside the other. One shirt was his, the other shirt was Jack's, from when they were on Brokeback Mountain. And Jack had apparently kept them for all of these years. Ennis holds the shirts to his chest lovingly, smells it... and tears again. What a mess I was watching this scene! My stomach was in knots.
One of the most interesting aspects of the movie was the exploration of story between Jack/Ennis and the women in their lives. They didn't make any of the women in their lives happy, because what they really wanted was each other. And in their women's hearts, they all knew that they'd never be #1 for that very reason... that special place in 'his' heart was already occupied by someone. For Ennis, it was Alma and Cassie. And for Jack, it was Lureen. There was one time in the movie, however, when Ennis didn't disappoint a woman in his life... his daughter. She informed him that she was getting married, and he told her that he would have to work on the day of her wedding. He saw the look of disappointment on her face, though, and after asking her whether or not her fiancee loves her, to which she replied yes (a scene that, in my opinion, seems to have many different meanings and undertones... first time Ennis mentions 'love' in the movie, as he and Jack never ONCE said "I Love You," and he finally mentions it after Jack's dead) he decided to blow off work and he there for his little girl's wedding. What a sweet scene.
And then the ending. Ennis walks into his trailer, hangs his hat on the wall. The familiar theme begins to play, and swells... as Ennis opens his closet door. Hanging on the inside of the door is the shirts that used to hang inside Jack's closet. Only now, the shirts are reversed... his is on the outside, and Jack's is on the inside. He buttons one of the buttons, looks up at the postcard of Brokeback Mountain, and with tears filling his eyes, he whispers, "Jack, I swear..." He closes the closet door, and it fades to black. I cannot explain to you how incredibly emotional this scene was. I was just in tears! I was touched. I mean truly, truly touched.
As you may have guessed, because of all the detail in this post, I was watching this movie for a second time as I typed this. And as I type, the credits are rolling, and once again, I have tears in my eyes.
This is just a beautiful movie. And I hope that everyone who sees it has the same feeling of hope and love and humanity that I had when I felt it. And, with any luck, maybe it will change the opinions of a few people who, perhaps, hadn't looked at this quite that way before. And in the end, the world will be better for it.
Heh, the end.
