I agree and of course you're right here, one of Ennis's earliest memories is of someone who died because of his love, no wonder he was as you say tormented. Don't know about his lack of childhood love however, remember in the Dozy Embrace he hums and recalls a saying by his mama as he embraces Jack. He must have some good memories to make that association during that expression of real love don'tcha think? As far as bro & sis go, they possibly had to fight to keep him from being taken to a foster home so there was maybe some love there too I feel. It woulda' been a tough time anyway you slice it. Maybe what his childhood lacked was continuity, stability, predictability. Maybe part of what made him so reluctant to commit with JT.
And, thanks for your praise Tony. 
Jackster's earlier thread is a great one, delving into the complex question of what or who was it that shaped and formed Ennis into who he was and/or who he thought he was. Very insightful.
The instability and unpredictability as Jackster said imo was indeed a big part of his emotional growth. IMO both Tony's and Jackster's posts were wonderfully stated along with lamusica's input ., and they raise even more questions. Earl and Rich did allow Ennis to form a possibility that two men can fall in love and even go beyond the traditional thinking of the time and actually ranch up together. Ennis remembered them many years later , recalling vividly to Jack, their story. But now he is being called out by Jack, He has been chosen by Jack to love and with all his conflicts, he is choosing, somewhat to love back. In the film, we are shown pieces of his sexuality. On the one hand Ennis thinks of himself as straight, yet he has tendencies that point in a different direction. He also understands by way of Earl and Rich, what Jack is asking. What Jack wants and what that means. He also knows how Earl and Rich were percieved in their community and in society as a whole. Earl lost his life violently in this attempt to defy society. This is the fate, according to his father that awaits men who happen to be gay. IMO, it is the ingrained fear of this that haunted Ennis's ability to show openly his love for Jack.
Was he gay? I don't know, but personally I feel that sexuality is multi-faceted. I don't feel it is a gay/staight issue as sexuality has many branches attached. Some people fanatize about different forms , only in their mind , while labeling themselves either gay or straight, and some actually freely act upon them, exploring the many facets of sexuality. If one engages in homosexual acts, does that make them homosexual? ( The "whatever floats your boat sydrome") though this may or not be a true test of one's "true" orientation. For example Jack, who seemed to embrace his , engaged in sex with Lureen and fatherd a child, but he only sought out men during his " indiscreet moments" when Ennis was'nt available. I feel he was searching for something that goes alot deeper, whatever it was, Ennis corvered that for him. Again, no one else was really gonna do.
Ennis was doing both too, while identifying as a straight male. He fell in LOVE, which makes the difference imo. This went beyond just sexual acts. Jack became a necessity in Ennis's life, a part of Ennis. Did'nt feel complete without him. He no doubt questioned his sexual ID, especially the scene where he's sitting on the log before SNIT.
Concerning many people, not all, catergorizing /lableing is almost a fine line when it comes to one's sexuality. And what about bi-sexuality?, breifuly explored in earlier posts on the thread? I don't feel one can really label Ennis, which goes to the complex nature of him just as in all individual humans, but Jack was definitly the key to unlocking him, in many ways. Thought he said "I aint queer". By now all of us has an opinion on why he said it, as well as why Jack answered "me niether" .
I don't feel Ennis had a problem loving Jack when he is honest with himself, maybe even "outed" himself at certain points, he knew he loved him imo, but there was a fear of loving Jack, from deeply imbeded lessons that served as a warning in his mind. This, Jack could not change this imo , He could only can do so much to "prepare" Ennis, offer him unconditional love, and which at some point , Ennis himself is required to DO something permanent about. It would require him to admit certain truths to himself. Jack's introduction of love to Ennis , brought home to him further, by his own daughter, and Cassie's "falling in love with fun" presented him with a knowledge of those truths about himself and his love for Jack Twist. Fun? yes Jack was fun, but Jack's love was serious business as he found out.
I often wonder post-Jack, could Ennis ever love again? If he could, would it be man? or woman? or niether? Which one would he gravitate toward if givin the choice?, taking in the life's lessons about loving himself Jack taught him. This would be a true test of his "orientation" and very telling of Ennis if he hooked up with another man, post-Jack of course.
Please excuse my long-winded passion and

moments, but it's just ...My 5 cents. Thanks.