Good points LJN. I've always thought that Alma's behavior made perfect sense within the context of that scene. Watching him with the girls sitting at
her Thanksgiving table, being the hero in their eyes, you could see her barely contained resentment. And then when he makes that offhand remark about being 'once burned', it must have been the last straw for her. Bad enough for her to endure what she did all those years. For him to try to imply that she was in any way at fault for the death of their marriage was a bad mis-step.
The genius of the way this scene is laid out is that we go very quickly from this part, and his resulting threatening behavior toward her, to the part where he storms out and goes to the bar and gets beaten up by the trucker that he assaults. Before we've even had a chance to really absorb his nearly violent behavior towards Alma, he's put into a perilous situation that brings our sympathies right back to him again. And the following scene is so melancholy, it's hard not to continue to be swept up in the boys' perspective throughout the film. I love them both dearly, and I think that they were all thrown into this disastrous set of circumstances because of the pressures and attitudes of the time, and Ennis' resultant fears, but I can't dismiss the impact it had on Alma and Lureen, as well as Jack and Ennis. I think Ang Lee did a great job of showing us that collateral damage you referred to, and in such a subtle yet definite way. It never diminished our sympathies and support for our boys, but at the same time, he didn't allow us the luxury of pretending the women's pain didn't exist as well.
As to the earlier scene when Alma asks Ennis to move to the city, I know that some people viewed this as being manipulative on her part, but I didn't see it that way. She was a young wife and mother living out in the middle of nowhere with two kids, one in poor health, and a husband who worked long hours far away. She was understandably lonely and trying to find a place where they could have access to services and contact with other people that would be natural for her to want. I think she genuinely believed that it would be better for all of them. And I can't help remembering that smile on her face when she saw his truck pulling up to the property. At this time, even with the pressures she faced raising her family, she was obviously still in love with him and happy to have him home.
The pain they all felt in the coming years was no one's fault, least of all Alma's. Makes me want to hug all of them.
