Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory

[hpv]

Hi, kathy, you hit upon a theme that is my Post-Heath Syndrome, PHS, as Tony so wisely predicted. I started the grieving process with a long denial period that quickly sped through to depression, anger, and acceptance. Now, I find as white_angel pointed out, everything reminds me of something I read about Heath from this forum, or something he did in one of his few movies that I've seen.

Thanks to Tamara posting the quote from Heath, "The root of wisdom is from knowing and loving one other human being." In my opinion, that is the source of Heath's talents. He yearned to know and love everyone he met, and in the process gained immense wisdom beyond his years.

My PHS is now leading me to follow his lead, and try to know and ove everyone I meet. It's not an easy task, but it's a life changing paradigm shift. Thanks to Heath. Again. To me, he left a legacy that is truly immense. The tears and pain are now not so intense, and the remembrance is bittersweet. Thanks to all of you here. One day we will remember with love, and not with pain.

 

Thank you lance for your clever words! 

I for one am stil in disbelieve  and burst in tears with no reason at all...

[aimi15]

aimi15,  you said it so beautifully what we all feel in our heart and soul. The immeasurable sadness is in direct proportion to the immeasurable talents and gifts that we lost when we lost Heath.  I hope you find the connections that you seek, from others in your city. I don't know where you are, but there are so many brokies from all over the US and around the world, that I am certain you will make real life connections. There are also regular meetings between brokies in all parts of the world, especially in the US and Europe. I am certain other parts of the world will have regular meets also, once the number of members achieve critical mass there.  You will find the discussion in meets here: http://ennisjack.com/index.php?board=57.0

Hang in there, dear aimi15. We will get through this.

 

Thank you so much. I've been a member of this forum for a long time, though under another name, and have slipped away in recent months, very regrettably.  Now this has happened there's nowhere I'd rather be again...to mourn. It's like coming home to family, and it doesn't seem to matter how or why a person moves on, they are always welcomed back with open arms in times of need.

I do believe that amongst the many legacies Heath has left behind, he would be proud that he has brought so many people together...all of us from all over the globe and different walks of life. Even in a time of sadness. I'm so grateful to him for giving me this gift.

[Nikita111]

I love you my Darling.

Please save my father. Please save him, do not let them take him from me now.

[keren_b]

After almost two weeks I can't get rid of the grief, it's almost taken over my life. The positive aspects of Heath (which are many) are all well and good, but still there's an immeasurable sadness that won't go away.

I don't know about anyone else but I feel very lost at the moment and desperate to connect with other Brokies. I have some wonderful Brokie friends but sometimes wish there were other ways to connect other than the internet to share our grief. God this is pretty pathetic but I feel so cheated and sad and lost and just want him back.

It's not pathetic, it's as real as it can get. I feel the same.

[babytammy7]

just watched the first 40 minutes of Monster's Ball ( it's been over 3 years since I've watched this movie..I've already forgotten half of it! ) and my God, I burst into tears 3 times...first when P.Diddy's character says 'I've always believed that a portrait captures a person far better than a photograph. It truly takes a human being to really see a human being.' The second sentence just got to me...then when he was executed...and then during the whole part where Heath and Billy Bob's character fought and ultimately, when Heath's character said: 'Well I've always loved you' and shot himself. after that scene, I turned the TV off 'cause I just couldn't watch it anymore, it was too hard.

Heath really was shier perfection. He acted beautifully, a simply marvelous portrayal of a lonesome, deeply sensitive and fragile human being who simply longs for affection, love, conversation, warmth. A person who wants to feel he belongs, who wants to know that there's more to this life...and that it does have a purpose. A person who simply longs for a connection, but all his gets is- resentment and total lack of understanding.
I got all of this just from Heath's portrayal. I cared for his character. I'll be damned, but during those 36 minutes that he was in the movie, I came to genuinely care for the character our Heath created and wanted to follow him 'till the very end, as Daniel Day-Lewis marvelously pointed out. But that final scene....when you realize that the last words he heard were 'I always hated you' from him own father, whom he had always loved...my God, that was so gripping, raw and heart-wrenching that I just couldn't stop crying...and then the realization that Heath himself is no longer with us hit me real hard....and it became unbearable.

Koka I've never seen MB, and I wanted to see it so bad......but now......I don't know. Your post made me really cry and I don't think I could stand seeing Heath's character suffering and shooting himself, knowing that Heath is dead..... :\'(  :\'(  :\'( Oh my, "I've always loved you" and then..... :\'(  :\'(  :\'(

Koka, my heart is broken.

[lancecowboy]

Thank you so much. I've been a member of this forum for a long time, though under another name, and have slipped away in recent months, very regrettably.  Now this has happened there's nowhere I'd rather be again...to mourn. It's like coming home to family, and it doesn't seem to matter how or why a person moves on, they are always welcomed back with open arms in times of need.

I do believe that amongst the many legacies Heath has left behind, he would be proud that he has brought so many people together...all of us from all over the globe and different walks of life. Even in a time of sadness. I'm so grateful to him for giving me this gift.

  I am sorry you slipped away in recent months, and I didn't get the opportunity to know you, because I only joined since October.  And you are right that like family, I always feel welcomed in this forum, with open arms, open minds, and loving hearts. Part of the love we see in Ennis and Jack, is the love of life and love of people that is from Heath.

I hope you stay awhile, aimi15. 

[Koka]

Tammy, I'm so sorry that my post made you so upset. It was never my intention.

I do hope that you watch the movie one day....because it really is a beautiful and gripping movie, and Heath is simply perfect in it.

[Lis]

Lis, I understand it can be tough, but hang in there. And Superbowl is big tomorrow. Tom Brady will be playing for the record of an undefeated season. I am sure Heath would understand if you reschedule. It is the thought that counts, not the speed. Like Jake said, fast or slow, I just like the direction you are going. I also dream of visiting Heath in Perth one day.

 

Thank you so much LC!! I agree it is tough and I did feel a bit crappy last night but I realized that you don't have to go to let him know that you love and appreciate his work. Though I am going on a Field Trip to the city to see "Phantom of the Opera" in March, so I hope we pass Broome Street on our way there 

Last night, because I wasn't really in the computer or homework mood, I picked to movies to watch, two totally diff. movies..."Coneheads" or "The Patriot"...I couldn't pick so my mom shuffled them and put them upside down and let me pick. Guess which one I picked? The Patriot. Weird huh  So I watched it and thought it was an amazing movie and Heath was so young, innocent, with what my mom said "A good American accent"...Gabriel, so young and innocent. That was the hardest part of the movie, i even kept telling Gabriel not to do it, so home, let it be. But he did, out of revenge for what that man did to his family, friends...oh sweet Gabriel...

To all of those I read who are still going through the hardest stages of grief, don't worry. I still, and probably will always, never get over the full death of our beloved Heath, even after the toxicology reports come out and TDK and Dr.P are out of theaters. We all lost someone, someone deep within our hearts who helped us realized how precious love and life is. He was a man, a kindhearted soul beyond his years that we will never get back. But we all must come together, to remember his greatest works, as an actor and as a human being. No one can ever replace this man, no one...

 
Lis

[lancecowboy]

Thank you lance for your clever words! 

I for one am stil in disbelieve  and burst in tears with no reason at all...

I was only quoting what Tamara was quoting Heath. The words are his and hers, and I am but a reflection of his wisdom. Yes, I also feel the tears, but I have learned to managed them better.

I think having this forum to write down my feelings helps me a lot. Like the character in Orson Scott Card's book, Songmaster, the tears and the feelings are all mixed in with the words (songs). When I cannot write them down (or the character not able to sing), the emotions just burst out uncontrollably by themselves, and I am a wreck. When I can write them down, and make some sense out of all this mess, I feel better.

I hope you feel better soon, too, hpv. You have always been like a rock of strength, with you sense of humor in the Make 'em Laugh topic, and your wisdom in the other threads. I am forever grateful to you for posting the Garbage Truck. That's a wonderful and wise essay.

I think in PHS, we will find the laughter and the smiles again, eventually. I think getting to know more about Heath helps a lot, and perhaps, one day, visiting his resting place in Perth, will also bring closure. But truly, learning the quotation I mentioned, that Tamara posted the other day, brings a lot of closure to me, because now I understand the source, the motivation of Heath's work, not only in Brokeback Mountain, but in all his movies, all his life.

Love you all. 

[lancecowboy]

[...]
To all of those I read who are still going through the hardest stages of grief, don't worry. I still, and probably will always, never get over the full death of our beloved Heath, even after the toxicology reports come out and TDK and Dr.P are out of theaters. We all lost someone, someone deep within our hearts who helped us realized how precious love and life is. He was a man, a kindhearted soul beyond his years that we will never get back. But we all must come together, to remember his greatest works, as an actor and as a human being. No one can ever replace this man, no one...

 
Lis

Well said, Lis. Heath will be imitated, but never duplicated. And no one can replace him. Johnny Depp can honor him by completing the remaining 1% of his work in Dr.P, and I appreciate that, but no one can replace Heath.  Thanks for those wonderful words, Lis.

[lancecowboy]

Here is link to the post for downloading the forum tribute video.

http://ennisjack.com/index.php?topic=11326.msg680842#msg680842

Thank you, Ethan. I agree with what you said, "This is a video which I really wish it would not be in the collection." But I will keep it in my music/video player forever. Thank you very much for this. The pictures and the music. The words from the tributes are in my heart, and I can read them again, when they come out with a bigger screen ipod.  Oh,  they call that a laptop.

[babytammy7]

Hi, kathy, you hit upon a theme that is my Post-Heath Syndrome, PHS, as Tony so wisely predicted. I started the grieving process with a long denial period that quickly sped through to depression, anger, and acceptance. Now, I find as white_angel pointed out, everything reminds me of something I read about Heath from this forum, or something he did in one of his few movies that I've seen.

Thanks to Tamara posting the quote from Heath, "The root of wisdom is from knowing and loving one other human being." In my opinion, that is the source of Heath's talents. He yearned to know and love everyone he met, and in the process gained immense wisdom beyond his years.

My PHS is now leading me to follow his lead, and try to know and love everyone I meet. It's not an easy task, but it's a life changing paradigm shift. Thanks to Heath. Again. To me, he left a legacy that is truly immense. The tears and pain are now not so intense, and the remembrance is bittersweet. Thanks to all of you here. One day we will remember with love, and not with pain.

 

Oh Andrew, friend, that's beautiful and so touching. You got me in tears. You, sweetheart, sensitive fine man, know how to really touch our hearts with your words.

Believe it or not, I quoted Heath's words 'cause I knew that it would be special for you, and, of course, it was so special for me. I saved more Heath's words long time ago, 'cause I wanted to quote them in some threads like "Was Ennis gay?". Now, I don't know...

I want to share with you and all brokies friends some Heath's words that remind me of some words you said about labels. He was so sweet and wiser saying this:

"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."

"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."

"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."

"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."


Take care, friend. Love you. Think about you a lot. 

[lancecowboy]

Koka I've never seen MB, and I wanted to see it so bad......but now......I don't know. Your post made me really cry and I don't think I could stand seeing Heath's character suffering and shooting himself, knowing that Heath is dead..... :\'(  :\'(  :\'( Oh my, "I've always loved you" and then..... :\'(  :\'(  :\'(

Koka, my heart is broken.

But, dear Tammy, you did not watch the rest of movie. I am speaking from the synopsis of it since I haven't watched it yet.

If I understand it correctly, the remainder of the movie is about the power of Sonny's last words that transformed his hatred filled father, helping him to find love again, in the widow of the man with the death sentence. Is this not what Heath has done, all his life? Ennis?

Please, dear Tammy, see the love and joy and Heath brought to us. That is his work here. The pain came from ourselves, our cold cruel world that separates us with hatred and fear.

You honor Heath when you rejoice in the power of his love, in the power of his work.

Please do not be heartbroken, but be filled with the love he had for life, for living, for all the people around him. "I've always loved you."

 

[lancecowboy]

Oh Andrew, friend, that's beautiful and so touching. You got me in tears. You, sweetheart, sensitive fine man, know how to really touch our hearts with your words.

Believe it or not, I quoted Heath's words 'cause I knew that it would be special for you, and, of course, it was so special for me. I saved more Heath's words long time ago, 'cause I wanted to quote them in some threads like "Was Ennis gay?". Now, I don't know...

I want to share with you and all brokies friends some Heath's words that remind me of some words you said about labels. He was so sweet and wiser saying this:

"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."

"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."

"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."

"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."


Take care, friend. Love you. Think about you a lot. 

Tammy, reading these words from Heath put me in tears, like watching Brokeback Mountain. Thank you. I will treasure these. Can't write much any more, but will respond later. Thanks again.

Love you, too. 

[Koka]

"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."

"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."

"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."

"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."

Thank you oh so much for these quotes dearest Tammy. Heath truly was an old soul and a man wise beyond his age.

and lancecowboy2007, that was a truly remarkable post! I've already become a fan of your writing! 

[lancecowboy]

I love you my Darling.

Please save my father. Please save him, do not let them take him from me now.

Dear Nikita,

I am sorry to hear you in so much anguish.

I hope and pray that your prayers will be answered.

Most of all, I hope you find comfort and peace.

 

[babytammy7]

Koka, Andrew!!! Thank you so much friends!! Glad you really like Heath's words that I quoted.

Koka, don't worry. It's not your words that make me sad; It's the reality of Heath's death and Sonny story. You're so sweet. 

Andrew. We finally got the confirmation about our theory, huh? Love is love, and we don't need to use labels to define it.

Friends...our Heath looked at himself like a child. Is it not beautiful? When I saw him fidgeting and laughing in all interviews I always thought: Yeah, you're still a baby, aren't you?

[Koka]

absolutely! one of Heath's many virtues was that he never lost contact with the child within! that's one of the reasons why I believe he was a REMARKABLE dad!

I know it wasn't me who made you sad Tammy and I perfectly understand what you mean....it's just that I felt so bad that you felt bad

[Rosie]

I want to share with you and all brokies friends some Heath's words that remind me of some words you said about labels. He was so sweet and wiser saying this:

"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."

"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."

"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."

"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."

Oh Wow. I had never known of these words of Heath's before. Thank you for quoting them here Tammy. 

[babytammy7]

Thanks to you Rosie!!! 

Oh Koka, sweetie, your support makes me feel better.   

[aimi15]

I am sorry you slipped away in recent months, and I didn't get the opportunity to know you, because I only joined since October.  And you are right that like family, I always feel welcomed in this forum, with open arms, open minds, and loving hearts. Part of the love we see in Ennis and Jack, is the love of life and love of people that is from Heath.

I hope you stay awhile, aimi15. 

That is beautifully put and absolutely correct.

 

[lancecowboy]

Thank you oh so much for these quotes dearest Tammy. Heath truly was an old soul and a man wise beyond his age.

and lancecowboy2007, that was a truly remarkable post! I've already become a fan of your writing! 

You are making me blush.
Thanks. 

Let's just say we are both fans of
Heath Andrew Ledger - the old soul with a child's heart and all our love.

 

[lancecowboy]

[...]

"A gay relationship is not a virus, it's not a disease, it's that a soul within a vessel falls in love with a soul within another vessel, in this case the form of a man. I don't think you can say it's not a gay relationship because that's exactly what it is, but it's more than that and I think you have to look past the label and realise love is love. It's universal."

"You cannot rationalise love. It's the force of nature that you cannot control, however much you might want to."

"But you only get wiser and stronger. You age on the road and you age in little chapters. Each chapter you’re aging with different people and you gather different things from them."

"I have to grow up fast to sit here and talk to you guys. But inside, I'm still six years old. And I hope I always will be."
[...]

Thinking about these quotes, and finding my composure after breaking down in tears, I now realize the depth of Heath's dedication to his craft, and the love he had for everything, everyone. Just as Michelle Williams said of Matilda, who whispers to animals, and hug trees, she reflects the part of Heath that is unique and precious. I am so grateful to her generosity in sharing this most personal understanding of Heath.

I will, and perhaps, we all will only wonder, and never fully know or understand what Heath meant when he said that he "had" to grow up fast. What circumstances made him growing up so fast, and becoming so wise? And the wonder of the love that must have been in his life, in his family, surrounding him his entire life, to allow him to hold on to his inner Child.

His metaphor of aging as different chapters really broke me, because now we will never know the chapters that he would have written. Then I remembered the quote from ayashae, that some flowers are only here a short time, but while the short time they are here, they bring joy and hope to everyone who sees them, and when are gone, do not mourn for them, because they have done their job. We simply must carry on with ours. One of them is to always remember Heath's love for life, for living and for people - ordinary people.

Thanks again, Tammy, ayashae, for your wise words and quotations.

 

[babytammy7]

You're always really welcome friend!!

What a beautiful post you wrote. You touch my heart, Andrew, in the same powerful way that Heath touched it. Thank you so much for being so; thank you so much for loving Heath with such a strength. 

[Emzan]

After the comments on Monster's Ball I decided to watch it(I got the DVD for Christmas but I haven't had time to watch it) and that's a movie I never want to watch again. I cried so much, probably more then ever since I got the news, It was horrible to see him take his life. It was just for a role but now his really gone  :\'( lost forever....
This is too much for me, I can't take this anymore. It hurts so much, I just want to forget everything and go back to the way It was :\'(

[guyinjax]

Hi fellow Brokies...

The sad posts are slowing down, huh?  I'm sad that Heath Ledger is gone ... it's still so unbelievable.  But, as with all things, life goes on to some degree.  If there is an afterlife, and if HL is looking in on our little blog/discussion ... I hope he knows how he changed all of our lives.  I hope he knows that he made a real difference, and that for most of us, life simply will never be the same.  Most importantly, I hope he knew it while he drew his last breath.

It's one thing to create a fictional character in one's mind while reading a story - it's quite another to embody the flesh.  Heath Ledger made human one Ennis del Mar, who, in reality, is simply ink on a page.  Del Mar's lonely story of unfinished business is our story too.  Let's all strive to remember every day how Heath Ledger, through Annie Proulx's Ennis del Mar, brought us together.  And let's promise to stay together.

I can't express how necessary this web-site has been for me since I first saw Brokeback Mountain.  And I can't express how lucky I feel to have this place to read, cry, express, and remember.

Thanks, all.

WE are Brokeback Mountain.

 

[NoReins]

Hi fellow Brokies...

The sad posts are slowing down, huh?  I'm sad that Heath Ledger is gone ... it's still so unbelievable.  But, as with all things, life goes on to some degree.  If there is an afterlife, and if HL is looking in on our little blog/discussion ... I hope he knows how he changed all of our lives.  I hope he knows that he made a real difference, and that for most of us, life simply will never be the same.  Most importantly, I hope he knew it while he drew his last breath.

It's one thing to create a fictional character in one's mind while reading a story - it's quite another to embody the flesh.  Heath Ledger made human one Ennis del Mar, who, in reality, is simply ink on a page.  Del Mar's lonely story of unfinished business is our story too.  Let's all strive to remember every day how Heath Ledger, through Annie Proulx's Ennis del Mar, brought us together.  And let's promise to stay together.

I can't express how necessary this web-site has been for me since I first saw Brokeback Mountain.  And I can't express how lucky I feel to have this place to read, cry, express, and remember.

Thanks, all.

WE are Brokeback Mountain.

 

What a beautiful post guyinjax. I too hope that Heath knew - not just at the end but all the time, how much he was loved and how much of a difference he'd made. I know that he had seen some of the posts on this site thanks to Theresa so I guess maybe he did know.

I for one will never forget the gift that Heath gave me when he brought Ennis to life. It's 'cos a him that I'm like this - part of an incredible community which stretches far beyond the boundaries of the internet. I've made friends here that I hope will last a lifetime. Some of them, I've been lucky enough to meet...others, not yet. But we all share a bond, no matter where we are in the world and it's a bond that I feel has only got stronger over the last fortnight as everyone has rallied round to support, comfort and help each other as we all struggle to come to terms with this loss.

A promise to stay together? You bet.

[keren_b]

A promise to stay together? You bet.

For as long as we can ride it. Ain't no reins on this one.

[ksxks]

I watched the Patriot last night.  It's a great story, a wonderful perspective on the Revolutionary War, which is an interesting period of our history anyway, and even more so from this family's perspective (especially father and oldest son), and the people in the local communities.  I really liked it.

As for Heath -- I can see why this was the first movie that made people really take notice of him as a serious actor.  Sometimes I could hardly recognize his voice, though.  In fact, sometimes the Australian movies are my favorites because of his using his real voice (except for Ned Kelly, which I loved for other reasons).  But he was already beyond his years in this role.  For one so young to have such subtlety.

Not to mention, he looked great in those breeches and boots!  Sure enough did, and I'm sure not going to stop saying things like that, his hotness.  He was beautiful, too, with his long curly hair.

There were moments when I saw "Ennis" in Gabriel.  I'd say in almost every movie of his I have seen a moment of Ennis...  But then, I see through Ennis-colored glasses.

We talk about the grief lessening...but I have to say not really, for me.  Maybe the acute pain, yes, but not the chronic.  Because as years stretch out ahead, we will still miss his presence in our lives.

kathy

[gambrinus]

I watched the Patriot last night.  It's a great story, a wonderful perspective on the Revolutionary War, which is an interesting period of our history anyway, and even more so from this family's perspective (especially father and oldest son), and the people in the local communities.  I really liked it.

I haven't seen that yet, and in fact I'd only seen him in BBM before his death, but since then I've seen Monster's Ball and A Knight's Tale. It actually makes me feel more sad, because it's more obvious (to me) what a great actor he was. And how much more he could have been.

It maybe sounds strange given his amazing performance as Ennis, but seeing him in those other roles, and what he was able to give, it makes his death all the more unfair.