I did not know Heath Ledger. We never met. In fact, he never even knew I existed. Nevertheless, he changed my life, in so many ways, and for that I will always be grateful. I have seen almost all of his movies, and enjoyed most of them too, but it was Brokeback Mountain that had an indelible effect on me. The universal themes of love and loss, loyalty, the importance of being true to yourself and self worth, regret and redemption, and the power of love unlocked a part of me that had lain dormant for far too long. And I was privileged, not only to see this impact on other people, but to experience it with them as well. The journey that started when I walked into that theatre led me to a community of people who believed in and embraced the ideals of love, acceptance, and compassion. All of the broken pieces of us came together there and formed a bond that allowed us to heal and grow, and from that a family was forged and lifetime friendships were born. None of this would have been possible had two bright, caring, talented people not taken it upon themselves to inhabit the characters that taught us those lessons, bringing them to life on screen and making us love them. Heath Ledger was one of those people, and he didn’t just take on his role, he did it both graciously and gracefully. And continued to do so every day after. Daniel Day Lewis said “I didn’t know him. I have a strong impression I would have liked him very much, as a person, if I had.” and I feel the same way. I didn’t know the private Heath, the one his family referred to as Heatho and Roast, but what I saw was a man who lived his life by his own standards and not those of the industry he worked in, a man who said that being a parent was the most important thing he’d done, and a man who worried, when he took on the role of Ennis Del Mar, not that he might be stigmatized by playing it, but that he would be able to do it justice. I think we can all agree that he did so and then some. So for all the pieces of himself that he let me glimpse, while still fiercely protecting his own privacy and that of his family, and for all of the lessons that I have learned from Brokeback Mountain, and from the worldwide community of ennisjack, which I would never have found without him, I can only be profoundly grateful. And since those lessons and those people are forever embedded in my heart, he is as well. I will remember him, cherish him, and love him for the rest of my life.
