Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory

[FlwrChild]

"It still makes me catch my breath to realise I'm talking about him in the past tense."

I know what you mean Christie.

[myprivatejack]

I can't dwell on the idea of it being 4 weeks today too much....because it still hurts, too much.  Images of him flash through my mind.  His beautiful smile, his wonderfully crazy dress sense, his eyes, his voice...so many things that I miss.  It still makes me catch my breath to realise I'm talking about him in the past tense.  :\'(

Christie,it'll take a long time until we'll get used to talk about him in the past tense;we didn't love him if it'd be on the contrary.

[Lis]

It still makes me catch my breath to realise I'm talking about him in the past tense.  :\'(

Same here, I just can't seem to comprehend every time they say "late" before his name and using the past tense when talking about him is so hard for me as well, sometimes just pausing, realizing what I just said and trying to figure how it ended up like this...

[white_angel]

Same here, I just can't seem to comprehend every time they say "late" before his name and using the past tense when talking about him is so hard for me as well, sometimes just pausing, realizing what I just said and trying to figure how it ended up like this...

  I am not used to talk  about him  using past tense and maybe I will not.
I was trying but my mind just can't.

[cowgirlKt!]

Emzan 
that is a wonderful excerpt.
I see Heath/Ennis even without closing my eyes.

Here is the lyrics to the song:

Soledad
( loneliness )
Westlife

If only you could see the tears
In the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart
Just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets
Of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be
Love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

====

It's a sad song, but I think Heath can see us, and as it says above, Love will bring us back to you and me.

 

I know this song well, as with all westlifes songs and it is so fitting yes. :\'( I often think about the lyrics to songs and what they mean to me,the more i can relate to the song the more i like it generally. Thankyou for posting this. I shall listen tp this song and see Heath

Our coworkers asked us what's going on;-"A friend of us has gone"- we answered in unison.It's almost magic to see how misfortunes make persons closer and more comprehensive,at a point you never think it could be...Our mates told us,simply,to let work in order to attend "our friend's burial",just this;they made our part of job and we shouldn't worry for anything else than grieving our friend.Is it just nice?.So,I came back home-I must say that sometimes I work at home also-trying to do some work because I felt guilty for my mates;but I spent more time,I must confess,looking for news,posting here,relieving and being relieved for other Brokies...
The next day,at office our coworkers asked us for the burial,and suddenly my fellow bursted:-"He wasn't a friend of us we know personally; he was Heath Ledger,from BBM.What's going on?.We feel as he was so¡I don't mind to say it¡".I told him to shut up,but he continued:-"Why must we hide it as if we're freakies?I'm getting ride of it,that people think I'm gay-he´s "rather" straight-or crazy¡...".And once again the solidarity:-"We've imagined it.It doesn't matter.We have this for you both". And they gave us a BBM poster,enormous,pretty,with Ennis and Jack gorgeous,riding on their horses...Oh,my¡ I began to sobbing by telling I couldn't accept it,not then;my fellow put it on his table and someone put also some flowers in front of the picture,just like an altar...I found this sad,but so,so beautiful indeed.
Well,the rest is story.I know all this I've told you seems like a nonsense or a cheap novel,but I needed to tell it just today.Because a month ago my fellow Josep Lluís and me lost a friend whom we believed we could´nt name so before other persons.

Awwwww this is sooooo nice! Id be so emotional if my work colleagues did that for me! Wow so nice and thoughtful, so beautiful Its so nice how they were so understanding and well done to your colleague for saying exactly how you both felt and who you were upset about. Such strength Thankyou for sharing your story!

[babytammy7]

The next day,at office our coworkers asked us for the burial,and suddenly my fellow bursted:-"He wasn't a friend of us we know personally; he was Heath Ledger,from BBM.What's going on?.We feel as he was so¡I don't mind to say it¡".I told him to shut up,but he continued:-"Why must we hide it as if we're freakies?I'm getting ride of it,that people think I'm gay-he´s "rather" straight-or crazy¡...".And once again the solidarity:-"We've imagined it.It doesn't matter.We have this for you both". And they gave us a BBM poster,enormous,pretty,with Ennis and Jack gorgeous,riding on their horses...Oh,my¡ I began to sobbing by telling I couldn't accept it,not then;my fellow put it on his table and someone put also some flowers in front of the picture,just like an altar...I found this sad,but so,so beautiful indeed.
Well,the rest is story.I know all this I've told you seems like a nonsense or a cheap novel,but I needed to tell it just today.Because a month ago my fellow Josep Lluís and me lost a friend whom we believed we could´nt name so before other persons.

Oh Ali, what a wonderful thing!!! You never told me.  

Your post was so beautiful and sad. I know what you mean. I was so lost in my pain that I was not able to give you enough support....But sweetie, in spite of all the issues we had then, I was always thinking about you, 'cause I knew well that my sadness was like yours, the unbearable pain identical. We were, are on the same road. Just want you to know that. Love you.

I can't believe it's a whole month. Can you believe that I feel it like a week or so? It seems so unreal. He was deep inside my heart, but at the same time he was in RL just so far. He NY, me Spain. So sometimes I try to think that he's alive and I just can't to touch him or see him in person, just like always it was. So I watch his pics and his vids like I used to do and I try to think he's far from me like always, living in NY, filming some new movie, having a life full of joy. But then when I speak about him I have to use that horrible "was", and right then I fall down and the reality hits me so hard and so bad.
Today I was having a nice evening via internet with several brokies fics writers, and then my sister came to visit. I felt the powerful need to show her all Heath's pics and vids I have. I was anxious. I explained every pic and every interview, and I used that "was" over and over again, so finally I started to cry like a baby and my sister (on God, I've never expected that.....) started to cry with me. She said to me that she can't stand to see any Heath pic 'cause that hurts so bad. She thinks he was so young, so sweet, so adorable. My sister is not a fan of any actor and she doesn't see many films, but she has a deep sense of humanity, and she was so moved by Heath honesty every time I show her a vid of our boys when Heath was alive. Also she cried when I show her DDL tribute to Heath on SAG's. She said that was beautiful. I want people to be like my sister Esther. She liked BBM but no so much and also she has not seen any more Heath film. But she is able to sit down with anybody and listen to what that person has to say about BBM or about just a human being like Heath, and then she is able to understand every thought, every opinion, respecting the others points of view, and finally she is able to be touched for just little things like Heath shy smile, DDL tears, or her sister saying crazy things about Heath on Ellen. I remember so well when two years ago we had dinner at Fridays. That day I saw BBM for my third time. I decided to tell her the whole story since she didn't want to see it. Can you believe that when I was telling about Ennis finding the shirts she started to cry? She doesn't understand so much gay people or at least not as much as me, but she can see love wherever it is and she doesn't care if it is gay or straight. She was no in love with BBM when finally she saw it, but she always has had beautiful words for my BBM passion. And today one more time she has showed me with her tears that she understands all my love for Heath and respect my way of being and also that she can see and love when someone is a marvellous human being, and Heath was so for her.

Oh sorry so my for rambling…I think so much about Heath and I need to share every little thing that happens to me when Heath is in it.

[Emzan]

Oh Ali, what a wonderful thing!!! You never told me.  

Your post was so beautiful and sad. I know what you mean. I was so lost in my pain that I was not able to give you enough support....But sweetie, in spite of all the issues we had then, I was always thinking about you, 'cause I knew well that my sadness was like yours, the unbearable pain identical. We were, are on the same road. Just want you to know that. Love you.

I can't believe it's a whole month. Can you believe that I feel it like a week or so? It seems so unreal. He was deep inside my heart, but at the same time he was in RL just so far. He NY, me Spain. So sometimes I try to think that he's alive and I just can't to touch him or see him in person, just like always it was. So I watch his pics and his vids like I used to do and I try to think he's far from me like always, living in NY, filming some new movie, having a life full of joy. But then when I speak about him I have to use that horrible "was", and right then I fall down and the reality hits me so hard and so bad.
Today I was having a nice evening via internet with several brokies fics writers, and then my sister came to visit. I felt the powerful need to she her all Heath's pics and vids I have. I was anxious. I explain every pic and every interview, and I used that "was" over and over again, so finally I started to cry like a baby and my sister (on God, I've never expected that.....) started to cry with me. She said to me that she can't stand to see any Heath pic 'cause that hurts so bad. She thinks he was so young, so sweet, so adorable. My sister is not a fan of any actor and she doesn't see many films, but she has a deep sense of humanity, and she was so moved by Heath honesty every time I show her a vid of our boys when Heath was alive. Also she cried when I show her DDL tribute to Heath on SAG's. She said that was beautiful. I want people to be like my sister Esther. She liked BBM but no so much and also she has not seen any more Heath film. But she is able to sit down with anybody and listen to what that person has to say about BBM or about just a human being like Heath, and then she is able to understand every thought, every opinion, respecting the others points of view, and finally she is able to be touched for just little things like Heath shy smile, DDL tears, or her sister saying crazy things about Heath on Ellen. I remember so well when two years ago we had dinner at Fridays. That day I saw BBM for my third time. I decided to tell her the whole story since she didn't want to see it. Can you believe that when I was telling about Ennis finding the shirts she started to cry? She doesn't understand so much gay people or at least not as much as me, but she can see love wherever it is and she doesn't care if it is gay or straight. She was no in love with BBM when finally she saw it, but she always has had beautiful words for my BBM passion. And today one more time she has showed me with her tears that she understands all my love for Heath and respect my way of being and also that she can see and love when someone is a marvellous human being, and Heath was so for her.

Oh sorry so my for rambling…I think so much about Heath and I need to share every little thing that happens to me when Heath is in it.

don't worry, I know the feeling

[myprivatejack]

Awwwww this is sooooo nice! Id be so emotional if my work colleagues did that for me! Wow so nice and thoughtful, so beautiful Its so nice how they were so understanding and well done to your colleague for saying exactly how you both felt and who you were upset about. Such strength Thankyou for sharing your story!

You're welcome,cowgirl. .Yes,it's amazing how people can react in such a way you'd never imagine they could do.And they didn't need my fellow's "anger attack"to realise it,because they already had the little gift for us.But,as I've said before,the pity is having all these surprising and moving reactions when something awful happens.

Oh Ali, what a wonderful thing!!! You never told me.  

Your post was so beautiful and sad. I know what you mean. I was so lost in my pain that I was not able to give you enough support....But sweetie, in spite of all the issues we had then, I was always thinking about you, 'cause I knew well that my sadness was like yours, the unbearable pain identical. We were, are on the same road. Just want you to know that. Love you.

I can't believe it's a whole month. Can you believe that I feel it like a week or so? It seems so unreal. He was deep inside my heart, but at the same time he was in RL just so far. He NY, me Spain. So sometimes I try to think that he's alive and I just can't to touch him or see him in person, just like always it was. So I watch his pics and his vids like I used to do and I try to think he's far from me like always, living in NY, filming some new movie, having a life full of joy. But then when I speak about him I have to use that horrible "was", and right then I fall down and the reality hits me so hard and so bad.
Today I was having a nice evening via internet with several brokies fics writers, and then my sister came to visit. I felt the powerful need to she her all Heath's pics and vids I have. I was anxious. I explain every pic and every interview, and I used that "was" over and over again, so finally I started to cry like a baby and my sister (on God, I've never expected that.....) started to cry with me. She said to me that she can't stand to see any Heath pic 'cause that hurts so bad. She thinks he was so young, so sweet, so adorable. My sister is not a fan of any actor and she doesn't see many films, but she has a deep sense of humanity, and she was so moved by Heath honesty every time I show her a vid of our boys when Heath was alive. Also she cried when I show her DDL tribute to Heath on SAG's. She said that was beautiful. I want people to be like my sister Esther. She liked BBM but no so much and also she has not seen any more Heath film. But she is able to sit down with anybody and listen to what that person has to say about BBM or about just a human being like Heath, and then she is able to understand every thought, every opinion, respecting the others points of view, and finally she is able to be touched for just little things like Heath shy smile, DDL tears, or her sister saying crazy things about Heath on Ellen. I remember so well when two years ago we had dinner at Fridays. That day I saw BBM for my third time. I decided to tell her the whole story since she didn't want to see it. Can you believe that when I was telling about Ennis finding the shirts she started to cry? She doesn't understand so much gay people or at least not as much as me, but she can see love wherever it is and she doesn't care if it is gay or straight. She was no in love with BBM when finally she saw it, but she always has had beautiful words for my BBM passion. And today one more time she has showed me with her tears that she understands all my love for Heath and respect my way of being and also that she can see and love when someone is a marvellous human being, and Heath was so for her.

Oh sorry so my for rambling…I think so much about Heath and I need to share every little thing that happens to me when Heath is in it.

Tammy,I've always known that you felt the same than me but your way of grieving and,even,self-protecting was being closed in yourself;you couldn't give the others the support you weren't able to give to yourself for your great sorrow.But you also know that just being here and knowing that you were here,was just enough,at least for me...Love you too.
What you explained about your sister confirms that in misfortune we find the authentic,the real way of being of people who are around us.And how this people understand our grief and give us support no matter they understand or share our feelings.I said in a former post that this is the real love,the one that understands or shares with the logical of the heart,even if our mind doesn't.

[keren_b]

I haven't talked to anyone outside of here. I was at work today and I so didn't wanna be there... but I didn't tell anyone the significance of this date to me, and I didn't tell them how bad I feel. I've learned that some things you just can't share. Not with everyone, because some people just can't understand. And my grief is too deep to be made fun of, so I won't take the chance.

[white_angel]

I haven't talked to anyone outside of here. I was at work today and I so didn't wanna be there... but I didn't tell anyone the significance of this date to me, and I didn't tell them how bad I feel. I've learned that some things you just can't share. Not with everyone, because some people just can't understand. And my grief is too deep to be made fun of, so I won't take the chance.

I stayed awake from 9 PM yesterday till 6:55 AM today.  teary eyes as I gaze  on all the thread of this forum.. back and forth .. back and forth watching the time goes by.. it was just like yesterday..

[Tony]

     Dear white_angel-----it very much sounds like you are having an unusually rough go, these days.  Just remember, there is no deadline on
grieving, and you can take your time---but take care of yourself, and be sure to stay with your family here.
    By the way, I just learned how to download pictures, got about 7-8 of Heath, but only printed one.  And, strangely enough, it's the one
you are using.  I guess we both wanted something formal and stable.  Like, suitable for framing.  Not that the others aren't good--just this one
had a certain appeal, of its own.
   Get plenty of sleep, know that we all feel the same way, and hang in there.  Hang tough but stay sweet and loving.  Both are compatible----
because they were what we found in Heath.

[Matt Nasty]

heaths death was hard on everyone and continues to be but i think it is important we remember he still lives in our memories and his daughter and it is important to know he is in a better place now

[bnjmn3]

Even though working through all this grief is taking time, its great to hear how supportive colleagues and friends have been to many of us since January 22. One the most interesting, simplest and kindest words came from of all people..my mechanic. I just happened to have scheduled some auto work on January 23. I have had the same mechanic for a few years, at least from the time I ordered a license plate reflecting the title BBM. Well, late on Jan 23, I returned to pick up the car, and my mechanic had the saddest look on his face. I never expected him to say, in the kindest voice, ..."your cowboy died..."

It was extremely sad to hear those words two weeks ago. Thinking those words still makes sad now, but also thankful. Sadness feels a little less lonely when its coupled with gratitude.  Kind of like Ennis at the end of BBM...we have a lot to look forward to..but we won't forget the past.

[BBBOY]

Even though working through all this grief is taking time, its great to hear how supportive colleagues and friends have been to many of us since January 22. One the most interesting, simplest and kindest words came from of all people..my mechanic.  late on Jan 23, I returned to pick up the car, and my mechanic had the saddest look on his face. I never expected him to say, in the kindest voice, ..."your cowboy died..."

It was extremely sad to hear those words two weeks ago. Thinking those words still makes sad now, but also thankful. Sadness feels a little less lonely when its coupled with gratitude.  Kind of like Ennis at the end of BBM...we have a lot to look forward to..but we won't forget the past.

Well friend, I have been doing pretty well lately, but this story just brought tears to my eyes once again. It is gratifying to know people may not understand but they still know to reach out to people in pain. It's a wonderful statement of the human condition. Thank you for this post. 

[white_angel]

     Dear white_angel-----it very much sounds like you are having an unusually rough go, these days.  Just remember, there is no deadline on
grieving, and you can take your time---but take care of yourself, and be sure to stay with your family here.
    By the way, I just learned how to download pictures, got about 7-8 of Heath, but only printed one.  And, strangely enough, it's the one
you are using.  I guess we both wanted something formal and stable.  Like, suitable for framing.  Not that the others aren't good--just this one
had a certain appeal, of its own.
   Get plenty of sleep, know that we all feel the same way, and hang in there.  Hang tough but stay sweet and loving.  Both are compatible----
because they were what we found in Heath.

 His death  hit me really hard, Tony.
Sleep does not come to me regularly these days since " Roast" left

Thanks much for the concern.

[Lis]

Oh god, I just watched the E! Hollywood story about an hour and a half ago and though I didn't listen much to what all the people were saying, I watched and all I could see was him. What captured me the most was when the "E!" showed their 1st interview with him at the age of 20, he was so pure and humble and his smile was just..I can't even begin to say. He was just having fun! I was transfixed on that smile for the rest of the night. After the 1st commerical, my mom told me to come into the other room to watch it instead of sitting on my heard stepping stool in the kitchen so I did and my dad was already in there and I was shocked when we all sat down, silent, watching the story of our beloved Heath unfold. After the show, I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't, I just numb. I laid down on the couch and suddenly the song, "You Are My Sunshine" popped into my head and in that moment, I started to cry. I do not know why, but I did.  

He was just a man, a man I admired and one that I hoped to meet, and yet never will get the chance to. I can't believe it's a month later. Still to this day, I can't comprehend, I cannot begin to try and express all the words to describe this man, what he meant to the world, us, me. He WAS [ :\'( ] our sunshine, one that came from beyond the clouds and captured our hearts. He was the light that showed to us to love and enjoy life. Then in one swift below of the wind, the clouds covered our light, our sunshine, our piece of heaven in the darkness. Thankfully, we all know that this being, our light has now gone somewhere where it is in peace. Our sunshine, making it's way into our hearts once again, never to be taken away from us.

[FlwrChild]

His death  hit me really hard, Tony.
Sleep does not come to me regularly these days since " Roast" left

Thanks much for the concern.

You're not alone in that. We're glad you're here with us.


bnjmn3, what a beautiful story. As BBBOY said, it is wonderful to see this side of people at times like this.

[BBBOY]

Thankfully, we all know that this being, our light has now gone somewhere where it is in peace. Our sunshine, making it's way into our hearts once again, never to be taken away from us.

Amen lil_dwarf. 

[Emzan]

Oh god, I just watched the E! Hollywood story about an hour and a half ago and though I didn't listen much to what all the people were saying, I watched and all I could see was him. What captured me the most was when the "E!" showed their 1st interview with him at the age of 20, he was so pure and humble and his smile was just..I can't even begin to say. He was just having fun! I was transfixed on that smile for the rest of the night. After the 1st commerical, my mom told me to come into the other room to watch it instead of sitting on my heard stepping stool in the kitchen so I did and my dad was already in there and I was shocked when we all sat down, silent, watching the story of our beloved Heath unfold. After the show, I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't, I just numb. I laid down on the couch and suddenly the song, "You Are My Sunshine" popped into my head and in that moment, I started to cry. I do not know why, but I did.  

He was just a man, a man I admired and one that I hoped to meet, and yet never will get the chance to. I can't believe it's a month later. Still to this day, I can't comprehend, I cannot begin to try and express all the words to describe this man, what he meant to the world, us, me. He WAS [ :\'( ] our sunshine, one that came from beyond the clouds and captured our hearts. He was the light that showed to us to love and enjoy life. Then in one swift below of the wind, the clouds covered our light, our sunshine, our piece of heaven in the darkness. Thankfully, we all know that this being, our light has now gone somewhere where it is in peace. Our sunshine, making it's way into our hearts once again, never to be taken away from us.

I missed that, I was asleep. I would have loved to watch it. does anyone know if they will show It again?

[Matt Nasty]

Oh god, I just watched the E! Hollywood story about an hour and a half ago and though I didn't listen much to what all the people were saying, I watched and all I could see was him. What captured me the most was when the "E!" showed their 1st interview with him at the age of 20, he was so pure and humble and his smile was just..I can't even begin to say. He was just having fun! I was transfixed on that smile for the rest of the night. After the 1st commerical, my mom told me to come into the other room to watch it instead of sitting on my heard stepping stool in the kitchen so I did and my dad was already in there and I was shocked when we all sat down, silent, watching the story of our beloved Heath unfold. After the show, I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't, I just numb. I laid down on the couch and suddenly the song, "You Are My Sunshine" popped into my head and in that moment, I started to cry. I do not know why, but I did.  

He was just a man, a man I admired and one that I hoped to meet, and yet never will get the chance to. I can't believe it's a month later. Still to this day, I can't comprehend, I cannot begin to try and express all the words to describe this man, what he meant to the world, us, me. He WAS [ :\'( ] our sunshine, one that came from beyond the clouds and captured our hearts. He was the light that showed to us to love and enjoy life. Then in one swift below of the wind, the clouds covered our light, our sunshine, our piece of heaven in the darkness. Thankfully, we all know that this being, our light has now gone somewhere where it is in peace. Our sunshine, making it's way into our hearts once again, never to be taken away from us.

lovely post and the song you thought of is fitting for this he was a ray of sunshine to the world and now he's gone but he will never be forgoten so until we meet heath again in a better place we must let him live on in ourselves.

[babytammy7]

Even though working through all this grief is taking time, its great to hear how supportive colleagues and friends have been to many of us since January 22. One the most interesting, simplest and kindest words came from of all people..my mechanic. I just happened to have scheduled some auto work on January 23. I have had the same mechanic for a few years, at least from the time I ordered a license plate reflecting the title BBM. Well, late on Jan 23, I returned to pick up the car, and my mechanic had the saddest look on his face. I never expected him to say, in the kindest voice, ..."your cowboy died..."

It was extremely sad to hear those words two weeks ago. Thinking those words still makes sad now, but also thankful. Sadness feels a little less lonely when its coupled with gratitude.  Kind of like Ennis at the end of BBM...we have a lot to look forward to..but we won't forget the past.

That's so beautiful!!! I only have my sister to understand me. The rest of my friends and family just think I'm crazy and silly. You know.

[Matt Nasty]

That's so beautiful!!! I only have my sister to understand me. The rest of my friends and family just think I'm crazy and silly. You know.

i understand you babytammy  . we are so alike lol both crazy but when it comes to seriouse matters you know whats important

[cityhopper]

  :h)Heath i owe you one,i miss u and i need you here in Holland.i love you Pascalle

[ksxks]

This is gorgeous!  And I've never seen it, and can't quite tell about when it would have been taken.  Do you know?

kathy

[ksxks]

A list sib on a site said, when it was suggested we move on with our BBM story discussion (which I thought was a pretty good idea) that we can put the awful incidence behind us and move on.  I'm sure each person suffers loss, great or small, their own way, but I've never been able to do that, put it behind.  Even my beloved pets are still in me part of me.  Not being able to see and hug, talk, dear Lord talking to my sister, I'll always have tears wanting to so bad, but she is still here, part of my world.  We are a sum of who we were, who we've known, where we've been...  Heath is in my world, he will never be left behind but part of my whole, part of what makes the sun warm and summer nights soft.  He gave me some of the best of my times, his loss wouldn't have been such a tragedy for me if his life hadn't been so rich and dear.  Life sucks and this was ultimate unfair and wrong, but he was still a most treasured gift.

jessi

I am so glad you said this, jessi...and I type through tears.  It is so simple, and it is so true, that we are everyone we have ever known, we are everything we have ever cared about.  I certainly feel I have Heath in myself now -- maybe even more than when he was here.  Since he's not here, we who are left get to carry on for him.

And also tears because you mentioned your sister.  I lost my sister in 1984, and I will never, ever not miss her...but also, she became even more a part of me when she left, so I carry on for her, too.  I carry on for a lot of people who have passed on, so it's not like I'm inexperienced in the ways of death and mourning and carrying on...but I do marvel at how strongly I have felt the loss of Heath.  Actually, if I were not part of this forum, if I were just alone, my love for BBM and for Heath and Jake and everyone wouldn't have been so heightened -- h eightened from the sharing of it.  Nor would my grief have been so heightened.  But I am glad for it, the heightened-ness, even the grief part of it.

kathy

[ksxks]

Rest in peace, Heath baby

Carmilla, this is beautiful!  You made this beautiful candle, with the banner -- and I love the red tie, and I love that it is in the snow.

kathy

[ksxks]

Oh god, I just watched the E! Hollywood story about an hour and a half ago and though I didn't listen much to what all the people were saying, I watched and all I could see was him. What captured me the most was when the "E!" showed their 1st interview with him at the age of 20, he was so pure and humble and his smile was just..I can't even begin to say. He was just having fun! I was transfixed on that smile for the rest of the night. After the 1st commerical, my mom told me to come into the other room to watch it instead of sitting on my heard stepping stool in the kitchen so I did and my dad was already in there and I was shocked when we all sat down, silent, watching the story of our beloved Heath unfold. After the show, I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't, I just numb. I laid down on the couch and suddenly the song, "You Are My Sunshine" popped into my head and in that moment, I started to cry. I do not know why, but I did.  

He was just a man, a man I admired and one that I hoped to meet, and yet never will get the chance to. I can't believe it's a month later. Still to this day, I can't comprehend, I cannot begin to try and express all the words to describe this man, what he meant to the world, us, me. He WAS [ :\'( ] our sunshine, one that came from beyond the clouds and captured our hearts. He was the light that showed to us to love and enjoy life. Then in one swift below of the wind, the clouds covered our light, our sunshine, our piece of heaven in the darkness. Thankfully, we all know that this being, our light has now gone somewhere where it is in peace. Our sunshine, making it's way into our hearts once again, never to be taken away from us.

You always express yourself so beautifully, lil_dwarf, and this one has brought tears to me, also.  And, I'm glad for you that your parents seem to respect your feelings for BBM, and now for Heath...

kathy

[ksxks]

I missed that, I was asleep. I would have loved to watch it. does anyone know if they will show It again?

I know it repeats several times next week here in US, but not sure for you.  Do you have something like tvguide.com?  I recorded it today, Saturday, but haven't watched it yet...

kathy

[Emzan]

I know it repeats several times next week here in US, but not sure for you.  Do you have something like tvguide.com?  I recorded it today, Saturday, but haven't watched it yet...

kathy

okay, no I don't 
maybe I'll find it on youtube or something. but thanks anyways

[Iswear...]

Oh my... look at Matilda's eyes!
As Michelle said, she is the spitting image of her father...

* Edited by mod *

Please do not post paparazzi shots, it is against the forum guidelines. Thank you.