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Author Topic: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory  (Read 2615084 times)

Offline Tony

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2130 on: Feb 17, 2008, 04:25 PM »
     Dear Mikele---wonderful poetry.  The French language was built for grace and elegance.  I remember reading a short story by Francois
Antoine de St. Exupery, where he was lost in the desert and so thirsty and suffering, and said; "Je ne croix plus des oranges."
I don't believe in oranges anymore.
   Sometimes, these last few weeks, we've been in that desert, so thirsty for meaning to life and healing, and I remembered that phrase, and
only in your language does it convey the need, the thirst.   But your poems, above, did bring some healing water---thanks.
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Offline mikele

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2131 on: Feb 17, 2008, 04:33 PM »
Thank you Emzan  ;)

Thank you too Tony, the book of St Exupery was "Le petit Prince"
and in this book my prefered phrase is "l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux...on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur.." the fox tell that to the "petit prince"
"Essential is invisible for eyes, we only see with our heart"
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As the moon lingers a moment over the bitterroots, before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with song. I find I am humming softly, not to the music, but something else, some place else, a place remembered; a field of grass where no one seemed to have been except a deer, and the memory is strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms.............

Offline lancecowboy

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2132 on: Feb 17, 2008, 04:52 PM »
Mikele, I humbly apologize for being presumptuous, and making changes to your English translation. But I excuse myself for the fact that this poem is so beautiful, and touches me on so many different levels, I just have to respond, to try to contribute to what I think is the beautiful spirit in the French original:


Au loin, la ligne d'horizon apparaît doucement sous les brumes du matin.
Alors que j'aperçois par la petite lucarne de la chambre,
   le vent agiter les silhouettes d'arbres chétifs,
J'entends ton souffle se mêler à celui du vent...
   ce vent qui t'a mené jusqu'à moi
   et qui un jour peut-être t'éloignera à nouveau.
Aujourd'hui je vis pour toi mais je ne vis que par toi



Far away, the horizon appears softly through the morning mist.
Then I see through the bedroom's small window,
   the wind ruffling the silhouettes of stunted trees.
I hear your breath mixing with the wind,
   this wind that has brought you to me
   and which will take you away one day
Today I live for you, and I live only for you.



The horizon reminds me so much of the ship
   sailing over the horizon in another poem,
and the small window reminds me of the last scene,
   through the trailer's small window,
   a faint yellow horizon can be seen
The wind that ruffles and whispers,
   the wind that brings the spirit here
The wind that breathes life into all of us,
   that brings Heath back here


Merci, Mikele.
Quote from: mikele on Feb 17, 2008, 04:09 PM
Au loin, la ligne d'horizon apparaît doucement sous les brumes du matin.
Alors que j'aperçois par la petite lucarne de la chambre, le vent agiter les silhouettes d'arbres chétifs,
j'entends ton souffle se mêler à celui du vent...
Ce vent qui t'a mené jusqu'à moi
et qui un jour peut-être t'éloignera à nouveau.
Aujourd'hui je vis pour toi mais je ne vis que par toi

Far, the line of the horizon appears softly under the morning mist.
Then I notice the small skylight of the bedroom, le wind ruffles the silhouettes of the stunted trees.
I hear your breath mix with the wind, this wind that has brought you to me
and which will take you away one day
today I live for you, and I only live for you.
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Heath, you are loved, like this, always.

Offline mikele

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2133 on: Feb 17, 2008, 05:14 PM »
Quote from: lancecowboy2007 on Feb 17, 2008, 04:52 PM
Mikele, I humbly apologize for being presumptuous, and making changes to your English translation. But I excuse myself for the fact that this poem is so beautiful, and touches me on so many different levels, I just have to respond, to try to contribute to what I think is the beautiful spirit in the French original:


Au loin, la ligne d'horizon apparaît doucement sous les brumes du matin.
Alors que j'aperçois par la petite lucarne de la chambre,
   le vent agiter les silhouettes d'arbres chétifs,
J'entends ton souffle se mêler à celui du vent...
   ce vent qui t'a mené jusqu'à moi
   et qui un jour peut-être t'éloignera à nouveau.
Aujourd'hui je vis pour toi mais je ne vis que par toi



Far away, the horizon appears softly through the morning mist.
Then I see through the bedroom's small window,
   the wind ruffling the silhouettes of stunted trees.
I hear your breath mixing with the wind,
   this wind that has brought you to me
   and which will take you away one day
Today I live for you, and I live only for you.



The horizon reminds me so much of the ship
   sailing over the horizon in another poem,
and the small window reminds me of the last scene,
   through the trailer's small window,
   a faint yellow horizon can be seen
The wind that ruffles and whispers,
   the wind that brings the spirit here
The wind that breathes life into all of us,
   that brings Heath back here


Merci, Mikele.

Thank you Lancecowboy, it's ok for your translation, because I know sometimes I can't explain in english the french spirit of my poem.. ;)
Your poem about Heath is wonderful too...tks
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As the moon lingers a moment over the bitterroots, before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with song. I find I am humming softly, not to the music, but something else, some place else, a place remembered; a field of grass where no one seemed to have been except a deer, and the memory is strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms.............

Offline lancecowboy

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2134 on: Feb 17, 2008, 05:26 PM »
Quote from: mikele on Feb 17, 2008, 05:14 PM
Thank you Lancecowboy, it's ok for your translation, because I know sometimes I can't explain in english the french spirit of my poem.. ;)
Your poem about Heath is wonderful too...tks

I have always loved the wind, and your poem just speaks to me in so many ways. Now, I will always remember it, when the next time a soft breeze caress my face.

Merci, Mikele, you are a kind and generous gentleman.
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Heath, you are loved, like this, always.

Offline mikele

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2135 on: Feb 17, 2008, 05:46 PM »
I'm really happy you enjoy my poems Lancecowboy, as soon as I'll do one other, I speak about wind into the next...

Now one other, you can modify the translation.

Doucement comme le matin glisse vers la nuit,
doucement tu reviens à moi sans un bruit.
Au loin la lumière de la lune se reflète dans les voiles des nuages et cette lueur dans tes yeux illumine toute mon âme. Ce temps qui passe semble pourtant me séparer de toi un peu.
Dans un silence inhabituel, serré contre toi, je sens mon coeur te crier son amour jusqu'à
l' épuisement parce que je doute et je m'égares.
Oh mon amour, brise de mes jours, éclaire mon chemin

Slowly the morning drift off to the night
slowly you come back to me without sound.
Far away, the moonlight is reflected into the cloud's sails and this light into your eyes is illuminating all my soul. This passing time seems though to split up with you more.
With an unusuel silence, huddled to me, I feel my heart to shout my love so far as to hexaustion because I doubt and I'm loosing.
Oh my love, breeze of my days, light the way to me
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As the moon lingers a moment over the bitterroots, before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with song. I find I am humming softly, not to the music, but something else, some place else, a place remembered; a field of grass where no one seemed to have been except a deer, and the memory is strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms.............

Offline lancecowboy

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2136 on: Feb 17, 2008, 07:07 PM »
Merci, mikele, for you to trust me with translating your wonderful poem.

Doucement comme le matin glisse vers la nuit,
doucement tu reviens à moi sans un bruit.
Au loin la lumière de la lune se reflète dans les voiles des nuages
   et cette lueur dans tes yeux illumine toute mon âme.
Ce temps qui passe semble pourtant me séparer de toi un peu.
Dans un silence inhabituel, serré contre toi,
je sens mon coeur te crier son amour jusqu'à
l' épuisement parce que je doute et je m'égares.
Oh mon amour, brise de mes jours, éclaire mon chemin
Slowly as the morning sliding into the night,
Gently you come back to me without a sound.
In the distance moonlight reflected on the sails of clouds
   and the light in your eyes illuminates all my soul.
The passing time seems to separate me from you a little.
In an unusual silence, holding you tight,
  I feel my heart your love to shout
  in exhaustion because I doubt, because I am losing.
Oh my love, the breeze of my days, enlighten my path

Your poem reminds me of my favorite song, Ron Keating or Garth Brooks, singing If Tomorrow Never Comes. The original was a man singing about his woman. I changed the gender. I noticed Google Translate didn't know how to work with "Gonna". Please feel free to suggest an alternative to this colloquial  contraction form of "Going to"

"If tomorrow never Comes"

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch him sleeping
He's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would he ever doubt the way I feel
About him in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face the world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much he means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell him how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face the world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
"Si Demain ne Vient Jamais"

Parfois tard dans la nuit
Je mentir réveillé et regardez-le sommeil
Il a perdu au règlement pacifique des rêves
Alors je me tourne les lumières et là réside dans le noir
Et la pensée traverse mon esprit
Si je ne l'ai jamais se réveiller le matin
Pourrait-il jamais douter de la façon dont je ressens
Parler de lui dans mon coeur

Si demain ne vient jamais
Pourra-t-il savoir à quel point je l'aimais
Ai-je essayer par tous les moyens de lui montrer tous les jours
Qu'il est mon seul
Et si mon temps sur la terre ont été par le biais
Et il doit faire face au monde sans moi
Est l'amour que je lui a donné dans le passé
Va être suffisant pour durer
Si demain ne vient jamais

Car j'ai perdu des êtres chers dans ma vie
Qui n'a jamais su combien je les aima
Maintenant je vis avec le regret
Que mes véritables sentiments pour eux n'a jamais été révélé
Alors j'ai fait une promesse à moi-même
À-dire chaque jour combien il signifie pour moi
Et éviter cette circonstance
Là où il n'ya pas de seconde chance pour lui dire ce que je ressens

Si demain ne vient jamais
Pourra-t-il savoir à quel point je l'aimais
Ai-je essayer par tous les moyens de lui montrer tous les jours
Qu'il est mon seul
Et si mon temps sur la terre ont été par le biais
Et il doit faire face au monde sans moi
Est l'amour que je lui a donné dans le passé
Va être suffisant pour durer
Si demain ne vient jamais

Alors, que dire à quelqu'un que vous aimez
Juste ce que vous pensez à
Si demain ne vient jamais

It was what I felt, not being able to say to Heath, to let him know what this forum feels.

Then the amazing gift from keren_b, to know he wrote a personal message to the forum, knowing what we feel about his work, about him. Like I said, it is the gift of the two shirts, to know that he knew that he was loved, and that he appreciated us.  :\'(

 :ghug:

Quote from: mikele on Feb 17, 2008, 05:46 PM
I'm really happy you enjoy my poems Lancecowboy, as soon as I'll do one other, I speak about wind into the next...

Now one other, you can modify the translation.

Doucement comme le matin glisse vers la nuit,
doucement tu reviens à moi sans un bruit.
Au loin la lumière de la lune se reflète dans les voiles des nuages et cette lueur dans tes yeux illumine toute mon âme. Ce temps qui passe semble pourtant me séparer de toi un peu.
Dans un silence inhabituel, serré contre toi, je sens mon coeur te crier son amour jusqu'à
l' épuisement parce que je doute et je m'égares.
Oh mon amour, brise de mes jours, éclaire mon chemin

Slowly the morning drift off to the night
slowly you come back to me without sound.
Far away, the moonlight is reflected into the cloud's sails and this light into your eyes is illuminating all my soul. This passing time seems though to split up with you more.
With an unusuel silence, huddled to me, I feel my heart to shout my love so far as to hexaustion because I doubt and I'm loosing.
Oh my love, breeze of my days, light the way to me
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Heath, you are loved, like this, always.

Offline LuvJackNasty

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2137 on: Feb 17, 2008, 08:15 PM »
Beautiful poems Mikele  :\'( :ghug:
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“What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger."

You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one ~ Imagine- J. Lennon

Offline Lis

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2138 on: Feb 17, 2008, 09:34 PM »

I absolutly adore these poems Mikele!!
You have a true talent
The way your describe the wind, nature, and the love in which two people share is amazing
I would love to see much more of your poems!!
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"The day I stop having fun, I'll just walk away." -- Heath Ledger

"For a moment in our lives, forever in our hearts." -- Heath Ledger, 1/22/08

"In the dark, I really felt like I could escape to anywhere.
To a place where anything could happen at any time.
Where chaos could reign but the world would never end." -- Noah Mayer

As the World Turns -- April 2, 1956 - September 17, 2010

Offline guyinjax

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2139 on: Feb 17, 2008, 09:50 PM »
So, friends, here's what I swear to:

Always keep the spirit of Brokeback Mountain in my heart, which means, I think, that I will always respect the privacy and individuality of others, acknowledge that, in one way or another, we've all journeyed up our own mountains, and we are all cowboys.

I also swear to honor the artistic legacy Heath Ledger left us by his attention to detail and by the way he honored his craft.

I further swear to honor my new friends here at ennisjack.com through encouragement and support.

Finally, odd as it seems, I need to finish the story I began writing the day after I first saw Brokeback Mountain.  I need to finish it.   I've been too paralyzed by its lack of quality, but I realize now that it's already perfect - even before it's finished.  I must finish this story because, in too many ways, it's my story too.

Thank you Heath Ledger, for giving yourself to us.  Know, where ever you may be, that Brokeback Mountain is a real place.  It has to be real ... we've all been there.

 :c)
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Ennis Del Mar is my hero!

Offline LuvJackNasty

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2140 on: Feb 17, 2008, 09:55 PM »
Great post GuyinJax.  :ghug: And I say finish your story-  It's from your heart and that's all that matters and that in itself makes it high quality.  ^f^

Thank you Heath Ledger, for giving yourself to us.  Know, where ever you may be, that Brokeback Mountain is a real place.  It has to be real ... we've all been there. And we still are. I loved that  :^^)
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“What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger."

You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one ~ Imagine- J. Lennon

Offline FlwrChild

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2141 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:01 PM »
I loved that too, guyinjax. Thank you. :ghug:
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For a moment in our lives. Forever in our hearts.

"They were respectful of each other’s opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected." ~ BBM Short Story

There are three ways to ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind. (Mister Rogers)

Offline lancecowboy

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2142 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:03 PM »
GuyinJax, I love your manifesto. Indeed Brokeback is real. Indeed we have all been there. In fact, we are still here. This forum is my Brokeback Mountain. You all are my Ennis and Jack.

To me, what you wrote: Respect the privacy and individuality of others, is the same as Jack saying "nobody's business but ours". This never occurred to me before. Thank you for reminding me what is the core of being a cowboy.

In addition to Heath's artistic legacy, may I suggest also his legacy as a human being, to always express how you feel, even if it means standing tall against the world, standing up against bullies of fists and words, and standing up proud to be who you are.

And I love the part: honor my friends ... through encouragement and support ... isn't that what makes Heath so memorable to everyone who met him? Isn't that why Ang Lee said that it was pure joy to work with him?

Viva Manifesto Brokeback! Bravo, GuyinJax.  :ghug: :clap: :c) ^f^

Quote from: guyinjax on Feb 17, 2008, 09:50 PM
So, friends, here's what I swear to:

Always keep the spirit of Brokeback Mountain in my heart, which means, I think, that I will always respect the privacy and individuality of others, acknowledge that, in one way or another, we've all journeyed up our own mountains, and we are all cowboys.

I also swear to honor the artistic legacy Heath Ledger left us by his attention to detail and by the way he honored his craft.

I further swear to honor my new friends here at ennisjack.com through encouragement and support.

Finally, odd as it seems, I need to finish the story I began writing the day after I first saw Brokeback Mountain.  I need to finish it.   I've been too paralyzed by its lack of quality, but I realize now that it's already perfect - even before it's finished.  I must finish this story because, in too many ways, it's my story too.

Thank you Heath Ledger, for giving yourself to us.  Know, where ever you may be, that Brokeback Mountain is a real place.  It has to be real ... we've all been there.

 :c)
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Heath, you are loved, like this, always.

Offline BBBOY

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2143 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:10 PM »
Quote from: lancecowboy2007 on Feb 17, 2008, 10:03 PM
GuyinJax, I love your manifesto. Indeed Brokeback is real. Indeed we have all been there. In fact, we are still here. This forum is my Brokeback Mountain. You all are my Ennis and Jack.

To me, what you wrote: Respect the privacy and individuality of others, is the same as Jack saying "nobody's business but ours". This never occurred to me before. Thank you for reminding me what is the core of being a cowboy.

In addition to Heath's artistic legacy, may I suggest also his legacy as a human being, to always express how you feel, even if it means standing tall against the world, standing up against bullies of fists and words, and standing up proud to be who you are.

And I love the part: honor my friends ... through encouragement and support ... isn't that what makes Heath so memorable to everyone who met him? Isn't that why Ang Lee said that it was pure joy to work with him?

Viva Manifesto Brokeback! Bravo, GuyinJax.  :ghug: :clap: :c) ^f^


Brilliant manifesto from you both. I just finished watching "Four Feathers" for the second time. Not a great movie, but the acting is brilliant and Heath is superb. In spite of the failure of the movie, what he was trying to say comes through loud and clear.
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There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it.

Ennis, riding against the wind back to the sheep in the treacherous, drunken darken light, thought he'd never had such a good time, felt he could paw the white out of the moon.

Offline lancecowboy

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2144 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:22 PM »
Quote from: BBBOY on Feb 17, 2008, 10:10 PM
Brilliant manifesto from you both. I just finished watching "Four Feathers" for the second time. Not a great movie, but the acting is brilliant and Heath is superb. In spite of the failure of the movie, what he was trying to say comes through loud and clear.

Hi, BBBoy, glad to see you posting about Heath's movies. I have been thinking that perhaps we need a new topic, under In Memory of Heath Ledger, to discuss the individual movies, from the earliest to the latest. This will gather together all the different threads, from DK to DP, etc. I have only watched A Knight's Tale and Patriot, many years ago. Watching them again will be like watching it for the first time. I plan on watching each and every one of Heath's movies, and knowing me, I'd have a lot to say about each one.  :) What do you think? Should it be under a separate category, perhaps, Heath's Movies, and a separate topic for each movie?
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Heath, you are loved, like this, always.

Offline BBBOY

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2145 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:36 PM »
Quote from: lancecowboy2007 on Feb 17, 2008, 10:22 PM
Hi, BBBoy, glad to see you posting about Heath's movies. I have been thinking that perhaps we need a new topic, under In Memory of Heath Ledger, to discuss the individual movies, from the earliest to the latest. This will gather together all the different threads, from DK to DP, etc. I have only watched A Knight's Tale and Patriot, many years ago. Watching them again will be like watching it for the first time. I plan on watching each and every one of Heath's movies, and knowing me, I'd have a lot to say about each one.  :) What do you think? Should it be under a separate category, perhaps, Heath's Movies, and a separate topic for each movie?

Lance, I could see a thread on the works of Heath Ledger, but to break it down into individual movies would be belaboring it a bit I think. After all, his work is the sum of all he did, and we have yet to see it all.
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There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it.

Ennis, riding against the wind back to the sheep in the treacherous, drunken darken light, thought he'd never had such a good time, felt he could paw the white out of the moon.

Offline LuvJackNasty

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2146 on: Feb 17, 2008, 10:44 PM »
Quote from: lancecowboy2007 on Feb 17, 2008, 10:22 PM
Hi, BBBoy, glad to see you posting about Heath's movies. I have been thinking that perhaps we need a new topic, under In Memory of Heath Ledger, to discuss the individual movies, from the earliest to the latest. This will gather together all the different threads, from DK to DP, etc. I have only watched A Knight's Tale and Patriot, many years ago. Watching them again will be like watching it for the first time. I plan on watching each and every one of Heath's movies, and knowing me, I'd have a lot to say about each one.  :) What do you think? Should it be under a separate category, perhaps, Heath's Movies, and a separate topic for each movie?

We have individual threads for the movies on the Heath Board.  :) I've seen both of the movies you mentioned-The Patriot is where I first saw him- Ned kelly (which I didn't like) and I highly recommend Candy- not that I didn't have an appreciation for him before- esp from BBM but that movie took it to a whole new level for me.
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“What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger."

You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one ~ Imagine- J. Lennon

Offline ksxks

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2147 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:48 AM »
Quote from: titabeille on Feb 17, 2008, 09:26 AM
My favorite song for you dear brokies in memory if him  ^f^



Thank you, tita.  I love this song, too, though I like the old version, 10cc I think it was.  I would like to see a BBM video to this.  Can't live, if living is without you...but live we must, and will.

kathy
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They were respectful of each other's opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected.

Offline ksxks

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2148 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:52 AM »
Quote from: keren_b on Feb 17, 2008, 11:20 AM
Well, I don't know how much he'd seen of it... I remember when I first saw this post (once I regained my self control) I thought "Oh God, I hope he didn't visit the "oh baby" thread and saw the way I was drooling at his pics" ;D. But whether he actually took time to read some posts here, or just listened to what Theresa had told him about this place, he was obviously touched by the love and the respect we show here for the story and for the people who gave it to us. It brings me a little comfort, to think that he caught a little glimpse of the love and the appreciation we have for him.

Me, too, Keren -- I'm glad he at least knew we were there loving his work and supporting everything he did, and especially how his portrayal of Ennis was so extremely meaningful to so many.

kathy
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They were respectful of each other's opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected.

babytammy7

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2149 on: Feb 18, 2008, 09:53 AM »
Last week was a totally shit. I was so sad, so, so sad that I was not able to visit the forum. I’ve only stayed here twice, maybe three times and I sure avoid coming here, to this thread. It was too much for me. I was so tired of crying for Heath, I was tired of feeling weak and lost. I wanted to have a life again. I couldn’t stand to read Michelle or Keren posts; that always brought tears to my eyes and finally I spent the whole days reading so touching things through a sea of tears. I had to stop that. But the truth is that it didn’t work, and I spent all week thinking about Heath and other person and feeling even more miserable ‘cause now I was alone in my labyrinth of pain, without Brokies to help me to go on.

Saturday was the worst day. I was a real wreck ‘cause I had a very serious flu (doctor says it is near to pneumonia) and I was alone in my room. Then I had one of my crazy ideas and I decided to read one brokie thing about Heath and then there I was again, crying like a baby, with my head buried in the pillow, biting it, wanting so bad to punch something. I had the right hand over my chest ‘cause my heart hurt so much, so so much. It was so much the pain in my chest that for a moment I led my hand to my face to see if there was blood in it….

I spent the whole evening in my bed with a terrible headache because of all the crying. Sunday I was a total numb, a ghost.

Today I woke up thinking about Heath and all of you and I’ve spent the morning looking for enough strength to read this thread. I’ve done it. I’ve cried a lot at work. I think my co-workers think I’m really crazy, I don’t know. You all friends have a very huge sensitive beautiful heart and I see myself in all your posts. I want you all to be happy and I want so bad to give you some comfort but it just happens that I can’t even to wipe my tears so I don’t know what to do to make you feel better. Sorry. You all mean a world to me. Kathy, Andrew, Tony, Koka, Rosie, Christie, Barb, Keren, Mikele, Emzan, Lis, Hpv, Simone, Guyinjax, Carb and so other many brokies (excuse me for not remember all names…),THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL POSTS. You all touch my heart and I treasure all your words in my soul.

And you, my soulmate, Michelle, you have all my thoughts, all times, day and night, ‘cause you feel the exactly way I do, ‘cause you always put in words what my heart is feeling, and even being so shattered you always have a nice word for me. As I said to you once, every simple time I cry at my desk I find out that you’re crying at your desk too, and that, being cruel and all, makes me feel that I’m not alone and my feelings are not crazy or exaggerate. I wish that I was there to hug you, to paint a rainbow and make you smile. But I’m not so afraid, ‘cause you have all these marvellous brokies by your side, and the sweet fairy Barb.

Miss Heath with all my being. Think about him the whole time; think about you all a lot.
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Offline christie wood

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2150 on: Feb 18, 2008, 10:27 AM »
Tammy  :ghug: :ghug:

I know how you feel.  I really do.  I hope being here is a comfort to you now, and that the hurting stops.   :^^)
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"Look at my boots, old and dingy" - Heath Ledger

Offline FlwrChild

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2151 on: Feb 18, 2008, 12:07 PM »
Sweet Tammy, I was hoping you'd been feeling better. :ghug:

But you know no one can control when or how that will happen. And during that process, we're all in it together, even when we aren't posting. So never worry about being in the thread too much or not enough. It's here for you when you're up to it, and we're thinking of you even when you're not. Hugs from my heart to yours. I hope you find that peace in your heart to heal. :^^)


Christie, I love your avatar and sig lines. <^(
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For a moment in our lives. Forever in our hearts.

"They were respectful of each other’s opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected." ~ BBM Short Story

There are three ways to ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind. (Mister Rogers)

Offline JAKELANDIA

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2152 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:35 PM »





Why do I try
To reach my past again
To bring my memories
To reach again your love for me
To call love for my heart

But it's frozen
It can't feel anything
Because you left me
And now is close
Close for everyone

Give me the light
To break up this cold
Is so cold inside
So cold inside of me

I choose my way
My way to keep alive
Far away from you
From all your memories
To stay alone
Alone in this cold
Cold of my Heart.


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Offline FlwrChild

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2153 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:38 PM »
Beautiful JAKELANDIA.  :\'(  <^(
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For a moment in our lives. Forever in our hearts.

"They were respectful of each other’s opinions, each glad to have a companion where none had been expected." ~ BBM Short Story

There are three ways to ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind. (Mister Rogers)

Offline Emzan

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2154 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:43 PM »
I made a tribute video for Heath :)

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Nuke the EFF on!!

Offline keren_b

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2155 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:44 PM »
Tammy, my heart is with you. Allow yourself to cry, it's okay. It's better than to keep it all inside. and you know we are always here for you.

You are an amazing girl, brave and smart. don't underestimate yourself. And your words have so much power... I use this opportunity to tell you that the reason why I didn't answer your last pm to me about Heath was because I couldn't, I was so overwhelmed by what you wrote that I couldn't find the words to write back. Hang in there. :ghug:
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The truth is... sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.

Offline JAKELANDIA

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2156 on: Feb 18, 2008, 01:45 PM »
tns my darling

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Offline LuvJackNasty

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2157 on: Feb 18, 2008, 02:49 PM »
Quote from: Emzan on Feb 18, 2008, 01:43 PM
I made a tribute video for Heath :)



That was beautiful and the song was perfect.  :\'( :\'( Thank you.
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“What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger."

You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one ~ Imagine- J. Lennon

babytammy7

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2158 on: Feb 18, 2008, 02:54 PM »
Thank you so much Barb, Christie, Keren!! You all are beyond marvellous. Love you so much!!  :ghug:
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babytammy7

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Re: Heath Ledger - In Loving Memory
« Reply #2159 on: Feb 18, 2008, 02:56 PM »
Quote from: LuvJackNasty on Feb 15, 2008, 04:32 PM
Since this was the song that totally messed me up yesterday ("Who Knew" by Pink) I took some of the words last night and used them.


Michelle, this is so heartbreaking and precious.  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(
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