Here we are, a month later, still trying to come to terms with this strange theft, this early end to Heath Ledger's life. I find it hard just to
use his last name, as, for these weeks, it has always been, just....Heath.
We all got hit in different ways, and that has shown up in our responses. For me, I had little interest in his acting career, and even separated
him, in my mind, from BBM. Heath was, to me, a good guy, with normal faults, but with an unusual lack of cruelty or spite, 2 characteristics
which are rampant in the world today. I have zero problems with saying I loved Heath, as he was, for me, the combination of many types of
goodness or warmth I had seen in more ordinary people, all put together in one person.
Am rambling, but whatever I had thought about him became all the more confirmed in the deluge of information following his death. Even the
so-called "bad" stuff, was of so little consequence that it just fleshed him out as a more vulnerable and therefore, lovable soul.
I do not like some of the contradictory information out there. Some reports he never studied acting, when I had read he very definitely
had a long-term acting coach in method acting. And something bugging me very much, that the N. Y. police refuse to give out the time of
death. I don't like that because the director who spoke to him the night before called to wake him, as per agreement, fairly early, and the
housekeeper said he was snoring, at noon. I really don't like the time-line they have given.
Even so, the reponse, here, has been a river of love. Some of the poems, in particular, I never would have seen, and they were powerful.
Well, am not having a relapse. Am just saying what I feel, one month later. It's all wrong. And we have to live with this. Sorry for rambling-
it's not easy for any of us. Maybe some others feel near to how I feel, right now, and so, posting is not a mistake.
